Tell me the things you feel
Tell me as we lay torn in
bed
Tell me your wounds to heal
Tell words left unsaid

Tell me why keeping me here
Tell me otherwise I will doubt
Tell me the things you fear
Tell me when time's run out

Tell me why say nice things to me
Tell me what is your hidden motive
Tell me your love is free
Tell me the reason you selflessly give

Tell me you hear my cries
Tell me why hand you hold
Tell me what's seen in my eyes
Tell me you will not leave when I'm old


Tell me when you'll change your mind
Tell me by showing every day
Come
Tell me if you plan on leaving me behind
Tell me how really feeling today

It's a slow road to no place I find myself on
With heavy walking feet
Time sacrificed in the break of indecision
To save myself from inhumane heat

Yet crystallized life I desperately covet
Has drained of all it's shine
Look into the mirror for answers
Every morning there are none to find

A cave of whispers shelters as I rest
The crickets keep me company
Stacked promises like stones in my breath
To dust crushed and tossed into the sea

I didn't enjoy the pain I caused
It wasn't fun to watch Mom cry
Was the perfect angel before the fall
Spiraled downwards without asking why

Stole heart with that type of life
Seemed like a movie scene
Said the word yes before I discovered
What that choice would actually mean

I thought it would taste sweet on tongue
Never guessed it would be sour
Was utterly in control before
Disappeared in the drug's power

Had me bending at slightest breeze
Ground inches from face
Too much for my weak body
Playing at such a fast pace

Always getting forced to aching knees
I am looked at like a zoo
Wrong turns reflected in eyes
Why I stopped sobriety I have no clue

Alone I travel this crooked path
Can't believe I'm here
Everything finished waiting
I waste year after year

Yet with the hype and madness about the Coronavirus
I open window and take a deep breath breath of icy Alaskan air

The glass wearing a frosty negligee
Leaving transparent area just large enough to get a small peek at the natural show of pale snowy scenery on the other side

Eerily quiet
There is a foreboding sensation about the vacant stadium
Lone songbird whistling simple serenades to a pre-apocalyptic invisible audience

I've accepted cold reality
You truly are forever gone
Without your presence I feel empty
Hard to find the strength to go on

It was the last thing I longed to do

He was THE ONE after all

Playful smile
Mischievous eyes
Coming with the tide to wash up on my shore to stay forever

Wanted fairytale to remain intact

And just like that it imploded and all its perfection scattered a dozen different directions with one catastrophic explosion

He was impossible to capture
I should have realized that from the start

I tried pinning him down but maybe when I did that he couldn't breathe
I crushed his lungs AND his spirit...

I feel everybody's eyes trained on my back

Your hand clasping mine

Your lips on my cheek

But all is at stake

Like it is not mine to keep

I do not know where to go from here
Vision blurred by every heavy tear
Helplessly witnessing hope disappear
I am forced to face my greatest fear

Disarmed defenses
Under false pretenses
Deceiving all five senses

The words spilled out my mouth like water
I sit here ashamed
My best shot at communication failed
Tells how badly I aimed

The world morphing you into who it wants to see
Do not let it tear you apart
Only listen to those you aspire to be
First do what you feel in your heart

My head's full
Too much stuff
Wandering
Wondering
I've had enough
Inflating my skull till I have a migraine
One thousand thoughts crowding my brain

I hope you live life to fullest
The image you've always dreamed
Want your plans to work out for the best
If they differ from how you schemed
I pray you realize power you hold
Could fell mountains with one hand
When it counts the most
Do not hesitate to take a stand
I hope you find tranquility
Joy that you deserve
Sure your resilience will get you by
Each time world throws you a curve
If finding yourself in a state of frustration
Take moment to breathe and clear your head
Patience an essential component
Navigating the road ahead
You have integrity and a heart of gold
Two things will take you far
Don't ever doubt that you have the strength
To bounce back from even the deepest scar
If trying your hardest I know you'll triumph
Achieving the peace you desire
Remember when you're feeling your lowest
Forever you'll be someone I admire
Like how you surely speak your mind
If it's not what I want to hear
The way you never fail to strive for excellence
At home as well as in your career
It's time I tell you I am grateful
For constantly being there
From the bottom of my heart
Thanks for showing you care
I am happy for you and Cheyenne
Should be proud as hell
Having a woman who is not only beautiful
Intelligent as well
You both are lucky to have each other
Lean on through thick and thin
To each have an equal partner
Sees beneath surface of skin
I am certain you treat her right
Never let her go
It's rare to find your soul mate
If and when you do you know
So congratulations you lovebirds
Finally tying the knot
In the future if nothing else
At least you cherish each other a lot
So raise our glasses together
I declare another toast
Honor and celebrate Cheyenne and Michael
Couple we all love the most!

Afraid to get hopes up too high
In case you are not feeling the same
Know we are practically strangers
I can't help but smile when I think of your name

I cannot convey how I feel right now

Not computer
Ball-tip pen
No. 2 pencil
Felt-tip marker
Even mental imagery can depict

I hide in creative silence

You may be older
Therefore more experienced at handling problems and coping with stress
But our demons share similar surnames

It hurts heart to see your disappointed gaze because it means my shortcomings are far worse than yours
I want to find ways to show you we are not as different as you think

Because that is all irrelevant at the end of the day so **** logistics and to hell with genetics
We both are weak and we both need help sometimes

Loneliness and grief are emotions everyone must go through
What we are failing to realize is that WE don't have to go through it alone

Sometimes trouble we get into is hard to share because we don't want to be judged but I promise I won't judge you

And pain is nothing to hide because I feel it too
Everybody does

Every time we reunite I give you a hug because I missed you
But I never express how important you are to me

I love you
With capital L!

The comfort of knowing always having someone to talk to if I need is a gift you unknowingly bestow every day

You might not understand the reasons behind my actions
But I know you always want to help regardless

Fitting in this crazy world has not been the easiest for either of us
But now we are finally growing up and finding our places

I love you and promise to try harder to be a better person and more importantly
A better sister

I can't imagine what it's like
To wake up free of fear
And to be completely certain
I have a purpose here
Life would be so much easier
If the past would disappear
But I cant let go and the memories
Only seem to get more clear

I am a little bit different
Do things my own way
I would rather be weird than boring
Don't care what others may say

It seemed yesterday
Heart was happy awhIle
Will it be again?

We may never be as foxy as we once were
Smiles falling out
Heads turning grey
I love you no matter how many wrinkles you have
How much or how little you weigh
Fight like foes but you're my best friend
Happy ******* valentine's day!

The snowflakes vanished
Spring now here
Warm weather means one thing:
Summer hangs near!

I know we will end up getting hurt
Every memory cuts right through
Passing time as we grow and change
The memories never do

To hold the fleeting happiness
Together once shared
Had to capture past with photographs
Smiles we no longer wear

Instead are small
Sorrowful
Strained
Matching the sadness in pained eyes
Say we can retreive love lost
Telling ourselves lies

Sometimes have this look about you
Current of convincing energy
Against all sense and reason struggle
Trick my heart back into loyalty

Head above devoted delusions
Waiting for the rest of myself
My body's still stuck at rock bottom
After years of your loosely veiled hell

Love is the true Eldorado
Is a cruel mirage
Paradise we're not meant to find
Love is just pain camoflauged