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Kee May 2017
You've only seen a glimpse of my world.
A glimpse of my hatred,
happiness,
sadness,
depression,
anxiety,
loneliness.

A glimpse of whatever I want to show you because I'm scared.
Scared of how you'll see me when I sob on the ground because I've dropped a plate.
And yes, it may be just a plate but I've been so clumsy and tired.
Disturbed and discouraged by the voices.
The last thing I want to do is drop a ******* plate.

I'd be rattled if you knew that I can't function without pills.
I hate taking them because I can't feel,
But I don't want to hear anymore voices.
I don't want to be the usual freak on the street you know.

If you knew how hard it was for me to get out of bed you'd be surprised.
I only slept three hours last night but I was terrorized the whole time by my own personal demons.
I lay there with my eyes bloodshot and wide open, my body numb.
I want to get up, but what is there for me when I do?
Work?
Like I'd actually want to be there.

If you knew that people stared at me and thought I was hot until the scars adorning my body changed their minds.
And the whispers began.
"Oh my god..." "She's so ugly, such a freak." "******* emo's."
I don't go outside without long clothes anymore.
The only good thing is that I don't have to shave anymore.

I don't visit my family.
I haven't in the last 2 years.
They don't need to see the person I've become.
Even though they've helped made me this way.
And they never stop calling, and calling, and calling!
Can't they understand that I don't want to talk!?
Oh, yes!
Another ******* breakdown.
This time, I didn't drop the plate on accident.

I'm no good to anyone broken.
So I'd rather pretend to be fine and smile.
Than to let you in...
Than to let you see more than that glimpse of what is really *me.
Okie Dokie! So I came up with this on the fly and I didn't really expect it to go this way, but I still like it.
This isn't about me, it's not really about a certain person. I guess it's the insecurities from people I've known mixed into one person who's afraid of letting someone in.
Hope you like it!
Kee May 2017
rough draft:
Hang a picture of me up on your wall.
Don’t forget me, I was your first love.
I’d also like to be your last, you were my first and only friend.
It felt as if you wanted to hang me from the tree, all your screams were choking me, they were the rope that held me captive.
I couldn’t see past the tears, they blinded me.
They blinded me from seeing you walking away.
They remained sketched into my memory whenever I thought of you, my first and only friend, lover, soulmate.
First, you hanged me on tree of love, and I felt warm, happy, a life worth wanting.
Then you hanged me on the tree of worry, and I couldn’t asking, ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’ ‘Is there someone else?’’
Lastly, you hanged me on the tree of heartbreak, and I couldn’t breathe, move, or speak.
I asked you why, but you didn’t say anything to me.
I screamed at you, and you showed me your back.
I fell to the ground and weeped as you laughed.
I wanted you, and only you to be my sweet, until you hung me on that ******* tree and left me weak.

revised version:
Hang a picture of me up on you wall.
Don't forget me,
I was your first love.
I wanted to be your last.
You were my first and only friend.
Also my first and only love.
But, things change.
You changed.

It felt as if you wanted to hang me from a tree.
All your screams were choking me, they were the rope that held me captive in your terror.
I couldn't see past the tears, they blinded me.
Blinded.
Blinded me from seeing you walk away.
The bruises on my neck remained etched into my memory,
whenever I thought of you.
My first and only friend.
Lover.
Soulmate.

First, you hanged me on the tree of worry, and I couldn't stop asking.
Are you okay?
Why aren't you talking to me?
Is there someone else?

And then it was the tree of heartbreak, and I couldn't breathe.
Move,
Speak.
I gripped the rope as hard as I could and ****** in air, trying to hold on.
Trying not to shatter, just like my heart.
I screamed at you, and you showed me your back.
I finally released my self from the noose, falling hard.
Weeping while you laughed.
I wanted you, and only you.
To be my sweet,
Until you hung me on that ******* tree,
And left me weak.
Okie dokie... I had this poem sitting in my google docs for about a year and some change lol. I revised it but I still don't necessarily like it. But, I wanted to post soooooooo... hope someone thinks this is okay.
Kee Dec 2017
I used to like you, a lot.
My heart soared when you called my phone
My eyes bulged when you texted me five years later
And you called me gorgeous
Something I’ve heard so many times but it only mattered when
You said it
To me
And I thought that those feelings were gone
And I suddenly can’t tell if it’s because you’re back or if they never went away
I’m missing you
But at the same time I’ve forgotten everything we did
It’s like I pushed it to the back of mind
And somehow it got lost
And it’s come all back to haunt me
My brain hurts
With those feelings
From 2013
Because the feelings I have for you now
In 2017
Don’t feel the same
So should I even try?
Where’s your head?
Why can’t you focus?
Why can’t you decide?
Why won’t you just understand
That he’s not it
And you’re better off alone
He’s just a reminder of everything
You could never be
Someone’s lover
Someone’s everything
Kee Dec 2017
You were right.
He only meant to use you for your body
And not your brains
All for your looks
And not your intellect
He wanted you for one thing
And not the rest
He was just another person
Wasting your time
And another person
Telling you lies
He was just another person
Just an excuse
And he made you question why
He just lied to you
So he could get his nut off
And have fun
While you cry
And he smiles
While you die inside
And you wish you never took the chance
Because you got hurt again
And although it won’t be the last time
It’s going to hurt for a while
Kee Oct 2015
i'll never be as pretty as her
wear the clothes she wears
be her size? gosh, that's gonna take a while
i want to be with you
but i can't be what you want me to be
i can't act like her or be like her
if so,
what will happen to *me?
Kee Mar 2017
i know you still cry at night
and tell us  lies, because you need to hide
but i see everything
i see your true colors
not the black and blood red you show
but your greens and oranges
they burst with love
yet, you hide them.
you hide yourself.
from us?
or from  you?
Kee Feb 2016
Reading right to left, down to up, common  sense not in my body.
High as  kite, the world is cold but my body is hot like delicious tamales.
Fire in my veins and the screams of my own being is what thrills me.
The Earth crumbling beneath my feet and I'm being dragged in.
I don't mind though, I love the thought of  life being scary.
*What's a life that's drama free?
Kee Jun 2017
the current flows rapidly down my cheeks
and my eyes puffy like balloons
my face quivering, the sobs erupting from my mouth
my knees weak
my heart shattered
i tell myself i shouldn't cry
that i'll be okay
but how do i know that?
how do i know that this hurt is going to stop?
what if it never stops?
is it like a toothache?
the pain comes and goes, only getting stronger and stronger until you have to get it taken out?
what if i can't remove this pain like i can my tooth?
what if this ache in my heart won't heal and the crack will never mend?
who am i to know what my heart wants?
maybe it's tired of my reckless decisions and has decided that it doesn't want to be healed
maybe it will stay this way and prepare for the next wave of pain to come just like that toothache
but...
what happens when the pain is finally too much?
can i die from a broken heart?
how will i prepare for another love?
how do i know that this is the one?
how do i know that he loves me?
how do i know when it's finally going to end?
how...
im in my feelings, lol.
Kee May 2017
How long should I sit here and pretend that I haven't wanted to end it for 17 years?
How long should I say 'I'm good' when I was just crying the bathroom ten minutes ago?
How long should I stare in the mirror and say 'Maybe I'll cut my hair tomorrow' knowing deep down I won't go for the next six months.
How long should I avoid the inevitable?
How long is too long?
How long can I look at this world, this society, and think that this is the type of world I want to live in?
I
Kee Jun 2015
I
I know that I'll never be enough for you.
It hurts,
Because your everything I want.
I want you.
You don't want me.
I wouldn't walk a thousand miles
But I'd tell you my deepest secrets.
I'd trust you
But would you trust me?
Could you trust me?
Could I be your everything and more?
Why can't you see that I still like you?
That I still hold on.
That I'm here.
You gave up on me.
You let me go and I don't even know why.
You continued to fly while I kept falling
Then I hit the ground.
I realized that you weren't coming to save me.
I realized that you stopped.
You stopped being my everything.
Gone.
Never coming back.
Alone
Now I'm alone.
Kee Mar 2015
Blinded by love
The thought of him caressing me , holding me, protecting me,
cherishing me
Made life a little easier
Or so I thought.
Slicing my skin with rusty metal was always on my mind.
"I just don't like you like that."
"Why? What is it that doesn't make you 'like' me?"
"It's not you, it's me."
Or is it just the fact that **you're not ready to grow up.
I just wrote what came to mind. Inexperienced to writing poems.
Kee Dec 2015
i like apples
but i don't like apple pies
i like cheese
but i don't want it on my fries
i like school
but do you really think i would do if i had to?
i like you
but i don't like your attitude
are you understanding my logic?
i won't like this because it correlates with this or it's combined with that
**i like what i like, and that's that.
Kee Sep 2015
I love you but it seems as if that's not enough
it didn't take me long to fall for you
then again, I do fall easily.
clumsy
you could say that i am
i did fall because of you, didn't i?
i love you.
still, even if it hurts.
Kee Jan 2017
"What was your first cut like?"

          I was in the seventh or eighth grade. I was curious, I wondered why others did it. I did it on my pinky finger, my right hand and I jumped, it was with a razor and it didn't hurt, but it was only a matter of time until I got addicted.

"You got addicted?"
        
          I didn't know that self-harm would be my outlet, nor did I know that my depression, anxiety, and mood swings for come into full effect my junior year of high school. I was so angry, so sad, so emotional that it was one of the first things that came to my mind. I went away at my body, I can't remember where I started, but all I know is that I wanted to feel pain. I **needed
to feel it. It was a numb feeling at first, I couldn't feel a thing but the blood seeping out of my wounds made me feel okay, as if to say, "You're still alive, you're still here." And that's when I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.

"Have you ever been addicted to anything else?"

          Pills. I started taking those before I did cutting. They gave me a high and even if it only lasted for an hour and I got the headache, it was worth it afterwards. I was away, I could think what I wanted to and the voices would stop. I'd take eight at a time and I didn't care, as long as I got my high. For a while, it was all I lived for.

"Do you regret any of it?"

          No, you wanna know why? Because it made me, me. I am who I am today because of those decisions. I was doing what every other teenager who had home problems and bullying at school, did; surviving. It was better than offing myself, something I thought about doing so many times. I still do, to this day. The doctors tell you that depression is hereditary but anyone can become depressed, in my opinion at least. Most times, you're already swimming in it a while before you actually realize it.
Kee Mar 2015
Get out of my head
Leave my mind
Stop torturing me with your lies,
Just leave me be.
Let me cry,
Let my soul howl,
Let the pain crush me inside.
I can't say much more,
Because my heart cracks as I do.
Just one last thing,
I hate you.
Kee Oct 2018
trying not to tumble
in a world with so many obstacles
makes it a thousand times harder
but it makes you strong
yet,
at what cost?
destroying every bit of you
until there's almost nothing left
only for you to say 'at least i made it out alive
is that any better than being dead
at least then you won't have to remember
Kee Jul 2015
The kisses I wish you would leave on my neck
The smile I wished you would send my way when we walk pass
The girl you hold on a loving way
I wish it was me
Don't you ever think that we could be
I imagine our kids, the white picket fence
Call me crazy, even insane
But I love you
Do you feel the same?
Kee Aug 2015
you turn to me with an open hand
always expecting something to be given to you
but you never give back
do you deserve everything you have?
do you honestly work for it?
or do you smile and lie in peoples faces about your work
when it's really the slaves working in the unknown factory
you aren't ****
Kee Jul 2017
Love galore
It was all being given to you and none to me
Showered in abuse instead of love
Embraced on the cheek with a fist instead of a kiss
Looked at with disgust instead of admiration
Told that I'll never be able to leave but you can't wait until I'm dead
I'm the one loving you when no one else is
The only one treasuring you when no one does
Still in love with you because i know you won't make it alone
But here I am, loving you
When you don't love me
Stuck in this 'love galore'
Kee Apr 2017
I loved you, even if you made me feel like ****.
I loved you, because no one else did.
I loved you, because I thought it was the right thing.
I loved you, because I thought you couldn't live without me the way I couldn't live without you.
I loved you, because that seemed to be enough.
But who knew that loving you would be so...
hard
wrong
terrifying.
Meh.
Kee Apr 2017
you can't help but stare
and stare
and stare
until you hate everything about your face
how many freckles you have
pimples
it can only cover the scars for so long
the insecurities for so long
lips coated in thick red
eyes you coat with liner and eye shadow
face caked with foundation
baked with powder
contoured to the gods
eyebrows on fleek
you slay
sometimes you don't recognize yourself in the mirror
and it makes you happy because you can't imagine living the rest of your life looking you without make-up.
will you ever love you?
you, without the makeup?
BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, IM NOT BASHING.
I wear make-up myself and 100% understand that some people wear because they want to and not because they're insecure about their faces. but, there are A LOT who do wear make-up bc they are insecure, and bullied, and just don't want to look like them anymore. i was like this, i kind of still am. it's hard to get over, and sometimes you can't.
Me
Kee May 2017
Me
I lost me.
I didn't know that the fall would be so...
soft.
That I wouldn't know that I even fell.
Yes, I was in it for us.
But,
I lost me.
We were all for one another,
but  I wasn't all for me.
I lost me.
I lost me in you.
Something that I'll never do again.
I lost the part of me that makes me me,
And I'll never lose me again.
I wrote this in math class.
Me
Kee May 2015
Me
Touch me.
Make me feel loved.
Make me feel beautiful.
Whispers sweet nothings in my ear.
Kiss away my pain.
Love me unconditionally.
Wipe my tears.
Tell jokes that make me cry in laughter.
Just be there.
Hold me.
Caress me.
Tell me you love me.
Over and over.
Love
Me.
Kee Mar 2017
My blood is pulsing
wait.
her blood.
it's pulsing, hot and hard.
she's screaming and only i know why.
i wanted to make her stop, but i can't.
she's hurt, i know that.
i feel her hurt, i feel her hear shattering.
i am her.
but it doesn't feel like it.
it doesn't feel like me.
no matter how hard i close my eyes
im still me.
im still her.
im still here.
Kee Nov 2018
My edge
My straight edge
Cuts deep
And doesn’t want to let go
My straight edge
Loves to make you remember everything
But she wants you to forget too
My straight edge
Loves a game
And she’ll play it with you
My straight edge
Is a force to be reckoned
Beware
My straight edge
Is my worst nightmare
And paradise from hell
My straight edge
Is many things
But never has she left me
Kee Dec 2015
i want to forget everything exists and that love is blind
that the color of my skin wasn't such a bad thing to others
and that i could've never met my 'first love'
i wish *** wasn't such a popular thing and it didn't matter in a relationship.
i wish for my soul to be free and my body to be tatted with purple and white ink symbolizing that i've finally let go of the pain that i've been wishing to shed
and that someone could understand my pain and that i hate being alone but-
if i were to tell them, would they think i mentally ill? that i should be institutionalized and considered a lunatic?
why is it do we shame the ones that are not considered 'normal'?
what is wrong with our society?
since when did being homeless mean you were of less than any other?
the rich aint ****, everyone can see it.
the album is 12 dollars but you'll only donate 1?
this was all in my head at once.
Kee Mar 2017
A life I never asked for
A life I'm forced to live
But a life nonetheless, right?
My scars scattered across my body
My eyes dull
My heart empty
My soul... soul less?
But a life nonetheless, right?
Father and mother dropped me off at my grandma's and never came back
She's had me since I was 3
She died working to support me
And now it's back to back in foster homes
Sometimes they're nice, other times...
very, very bad.
And on to the next I go
But a life nonetheless, right?
I'm at the top of my class and skipped ahead a year
But I'm called an overachiever
My intelligence isn't great anymore
Talent isn't great anymore
Just trying isn't great anymore
You just don't
You give up before anything can happen so they can never say 'you're not only letting others down, but yourself'
But a life nonetheless,  right?
A life nonetheless.
A life.
This *valued, precious life.
I'm going to be making this into a series! It's going to be called but a life nonetheless, right? This first one is called Orphan. Well... because it's the life of an orphan.  This is all fiction and from my mind, so I'm trying my best to  put myself in their shoes.
To go more into this poem. It's the label Orphan because I don't want names, you don't really need them. You know that this is about an orphan. What an orphan might go through, might not go through. What they feel, their past lives, etc. No matter what the label has been given to them, they are still a person.  
Knowing a little bit of who they are and leaving off on a cliff hanger is fun, so the reader can make up their own ending for this poem, for this orphan, this person.
Kee May 2017
Our love wasn't really love, but it still hurt when I saw her.
I whisked away the pain like whisking the lumps out of cake batter.
They were still there.
Just like my love for you was.
It's silly because it's been so long but every time we talked I still felt your touch as if you were right next to me,
Like you used to be.
Just as warm as I remembered.
And I shouldn't think about the imaginary 'us' because I'm supposed to be in love with someone else but,
I just love you,
So much.
I didn't think you'd be with someone so soon.
I knew that you wouldn't wait around,
but I had this bit of hope that you'd stay, just a bit longer.
I pushed you of my head,
But, here you are again, making me remember things I shouldn't.
At least not while I'm with him.
He doesn't make me smile like you did.
Or laugh,
Or cry.
He's not you and I'm having a hard time trying not to compare him to you but it's so hard when all I can think of is you,
With her,
And her,
With you,
And the love we had,
Gone.
Things happen, right? Lol, nothing you can do about it. Love is ****** sometimes.
Kee May 2017
why should i pretend that you haven't hurt me
that i haven't hurt you
that we haven't hurt us
why should we pretend that what we had was golden when we both know that we screamed all night and we cried our hearts out trying to make it work
knowing it would fail
but we made it ours
although it is no longer
it feels good to know
that you don't have to pretend anymore
you can love with someone else without pretending
i'm not there yet
i'm still hanging on
just a bit longer
missing how it feels to pretend
5.25.17
Kee Mar 2015
The earth stills as he holds in a breath,
only moving as he exhales.
Alcohol, Marijuana, Speed, ****,
it all consumed his life.
it made him, him

But as he stood in the middle of a street in NYC,
he didn't care.
Losing his family to a hit and run,
he wanted to die the same way they did.
Quick, with no pain,
*and the thoughts of getting ice-cream.
This just came into my mind,and I had to write it down. Sorry if it's confusing.
Kee Jun 2018
I knew I was going to fall in love with him
When I heard his voice on the other side of the phone
I knew I was going to fall in love with him before it was even real between us
And we were tight
Everyday we talked
And everyday we shared
And I realized
That I had fallen in fast
And way too deep
I lost it a few times
But brought myself back on my feet
And he’s knocked me down so many times
Yet
Still I rise
And it hurt
But I kept going
Until he said “I cherish you as a friend”
And that’s when I realized
That I swam down to the bottom
And wasn’t sure if I’d make it back up
I’d lost myself in him
And couldn’t find the exit
And all I could was grip
And clutch onto something
That no longer wanted me
I was being held captive by his voice
And by my broken heart
Who just couldn’t let go
I’ll always have love for him
But I know that it won’t ever be
Even all of those times when he said “just wait for me”
I can’t wait any longer
I have a life to live
But I know one day we’ll speak again
And we’ll do these things
All over again
Kee May 2017
Lying under  this smile is my sadness.
I told you I was fine, but I was lying.
I thought you were just joking, that you really hadn't fallen in love with someone new.
I guess I really thought we could be something, too.
I know it's not the first time that I've gotten my hopes up and they've died but, this time felt different.
Somehow, each time time always feels different.
More or less hope.
He's handsome, I won't deny that.
Funny, I can admit that too.
But meant for you?
No.
I guess I waited too long.
Let's see how long this lasts, and maybe then...
I'll have hope again.
I don't know where I was going with this, I just wanted to write something.
It doesn't have to have a story behind it but if it does...
She's in love with her best friend who's straight.
Kee Apr 2017
Will you remember me?
My smile, my teeth, the feel of my lips?
Or my laugh?
The way I held your hand?
I always made sure our pinkies were wrapped together.
How about the first time I told you I loved you?
Will you remember any of it?
I know we ended five months ago but I can't help but to want you still.
And hope that you want me too.
Do you remember the time that we snuck into the grocery store at 5 am and ate all of their kisses?
We threw up all day after that.
But, it was with you, so it was worth it.
Oh, there's the time when we made love on top of your roof.
It was cold, but you made me warm.
You told me you loved me right after.
I hung onto those words.
I still do.
Will you do any of these things with her?
Will she make you squirt a vanilla milkshake out of your nose like I did?
Do you lose yourself in her the way you did with me?
Did she become you, and you, her?
Was there a time when you couldn't tell the difference, because you two were so alike?
We loved each other for three years and although you're ready to let go, i'm not.
I miss you.
Wrote this in the library during school. Had half of it sitting in my journal though.
Kee Jun 2015
My pocket is my heart
I fill it until it cannot be filled
And then I empty my pocket
Repeat.
Kee Oct 2018
poking at his rib cage
i thought of all of the wonderful times
ive spent with him
not knowing that this would be my last time poking his rib cage
i smiled and laughed in his face
he loved me the way i loved me
or so i thought
and the betrayal finally set in
when the messages stopped flowing in
and the block on all of social media shocked me as well
until my friend had shown that while you were studying abroad
you were going steady with a beautiful french girl
Kee Nov 2018
somehow i had started to bleed
my wrists and their scars were open
pouring into the river
eyes cry red drops of blood
falling down my cheek, lips, and chin
yet i can't feel a thing
if anything the regret lifts from my shoulders and sets me free
but i still feel the little bit of blood stuck in my one side of my heart
that i can never seem to get rid of
and the other half never seems to fill back up
so i wait
and wait
until it's a full river of blood
and
then
i
jump
Kee Sep 2015
scream.
just scream
scream until you lose your voice
and after that let the tears fall
let them fall down your cheeks and drop onto your shirt
howl if possible
let out your pain so everyone can know
you are a *
*broken soul
Kee May 2017
is it weird that i think hell,
might just be,
the perfect place for me?
not that i dont want to be in heaven.
but am i,
simple ol' me,
good enough for god?
i tell lies,
sometimes i talk behind peoples back,
i don't always respect my parents,
and i even think that im too good for people sometimes.
does that make me bad?
well,
it sure doesn't make me good
meh...... idek where i was going with this ._.
Kee Apr 2017
You love a person so much
Their pain becomes yours.
You are them.
They are you.
But sometimes that's not enough.
Not enough for them.
But you tried.
For him.
For you.
That wasn't enough.
You loved hard.
Too hard.
And now you can't undo this love.
You can't forget.
You can't figure out if it's you or them anymore because you two were so alike.
So in tune.
And now you're over.
You're trapped with lingering memories of what used to be, and you can't escape.
You can't run from yourself, or from him.
Not anymore.
Kee Apr 2017
She was your drug
Awful, but the only one who loved you
She warped your mind, but that didn't matter to you
She was there when no one else was
And it felt good
She made you see stars when all you could see were monsters
When things seemed impossible, she made a way
A path only the two of you could venture
And it felt good
She was an abomination to society
But you saw a goddess
She was your everything
And now she's gone
She left you
All alone
By yourself
In the cold
You looked for her
But she couldn't be found
You two were star-crossed lovers
Meant to fail
Kee Apr 2019
As the violinist brushes the bow against the instrument
She takes in a deep breath
She takes in those painful memories
And she exhales
They’re gone
Hitting her in flashes
She has to overcome the darkness that stands in the way of her light
She is torn
Because even if she wants to leave her past
She still holds some of those memories clutched tight to her thumping heart
Even the ones that haunt her the most
You see
She is split down the middle
Her mind is saying go
But her body won’t even tilt
She’s frozen stuck in a life
That she had wept about in nightmares
She was strong
But she couldn’t wrap her mind around living like this anymore
She got the message when her eyes would no longer shine
And she had to force a smile on to her face
She just wanted to be normal again
She wanted her violin to bring her joy
Once more
It had been her only sanctuary
The only place she called home
Kee Jun 2015
Will you hold me?
Tell me you'll never leave
That will be forever?
That stay strong is our 'okay'?
Tell me....

Tell me you'll only love me and no one else.
Please.
Please don't make this hard for me because I depend on you.
I depend on everything you say and it seems like you hate me for loving you.
You hate the though of loving me
You'd never touch me
I'm poisonous to you and it kills me that you don't want me.
Literally.
Self harm was never my thing but you made me drag the razor along my veins and cry out in pain as the blood dripped onto your white T-shirt.
It still smells like you.
You took a piece away from me and even you didn't say you loved me but I know you felt for me
you felt
But i dont understand
I don't understand why you stopped feeling for me.
And you never tell me.
*Why?
Kee Jun 2015
You stole my heart and made it warm
The freezing temperature was starting to get old
You filled the hole
The hole no one could fill
You made me love
You made me love you
I started to trust you
Even though I didn't know you
I didn't know you
But you knew me
And that's was wrong
You were hiding your identity
The person I wanted to love was hiding inside
While you only showed me the other guy
The other part of you
The part that tricked me
Oh, how I wish
I knew the *real you.
Kee Mar 2017
Tian is five
Tian is lonely
Tian has no friends
She's locked in her room
The clock is a close companion
She watches it count down to noon
With a piece of chocolate in her hand
She stares at the red balloon.

I'm seven now
I 'm locked away
My parents shame
Their secret child
I live alone in this room
and I know no one
But this  balloon
The red, round balloon
That's lived for three days
The red, round balloon
I hope you stay
I'll give you chocolate
That's all I have
My names Tian
and I'm lost
the three random words are balloon, clock, and chocolate. Tian is the child that her parents never wanted. They were hoping for a boy, but got a girl. They locked her away as punishment, although she did nothing wrong. They show a little pity, and each year for her birthday they give her a balloon and chocolate.
Tian is  a very smart girl, and she knows why her parents do to her what they do.
Should I make a second part to this?
Kee Apr 2017
3,452 holes in the wall.
I've counted all of them.
1,000 times this month.
My eyes closed, but sleep never comes.
So I count the holes in my wall.
Sometimes I listen to cars go by, or birds chirping.
Most times it's them yelling.
About me, or the bills.
Sometimes they even argue about  what to ******* eat.
I hate them both.
I wish they would've killed me instead.
4 more years until I'm free.
Until then...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
i wrote this spontaneously but i put a bit more thought into it. as of right now, Tian  is 12. I know in USA (That's where she's living)  it's 18 for the legal age, but I feel like it's too long of  a wait and this is fiction, so 16 it is :)
I don't want to tell the whole poem, but I do want to say that she suffers from insomnia and you'll learn why in the next part of the series :)
Thanks for reading!
Kee Jul 2017
I hope you can deal with my grumpiness in the morning
My snoring through the night
Sometimes I even talk in my sleep
I'll want you to cook all the time and cuddle me too
I hope you're warm and smell good
Please be able to take a joke
I love to laugh
Love me with all you have
Kiss me like it's the last time you ever will
Look past my eyes and into my soul
See me for my heart and not the body it's attached to
Love me for me and I'll do the same for you
My future husband, I love you.
Toy
Kee Aug 2016
Toy
kicking the walls,
screaming, "SET ME FREE"
i've been stuck in this imaginary box for so long
i'm beginning to think it's real,
at first it was fun, you stayed with me for a while
but then you left.
i wondered where you went, and why you hadn't come back
then i knew, that this was a trap.
you're way of keeping me
and keeping her too.
you said you'd let her go,
you lied just to have me,
and have her too.
so, while i'm stuck in this box
you're loving her
but when you will come back for me?
do i get love too?
or am i just the puppet you love to manipulate
for your use
for when you're bored?
am i just your toy?
Kee May 2015
Crisp dollar bills fill your mind
Since when did greed consume you?
Why is it power is all that matters?
Why is love a non-factor?
When did you lose yourself?
Why did you let go?
Why did you stop believing?
I thought you were so much more.
Kee May 2015
Goodbye.
Kee May 2015
Okay.
I admit.
I still like you.
I wanted you to be my first kiss.
Love.
Everything.
Wasn't meant to be I'm not gonna trip.
Just know that I felt like I loved you.
Why are you so hard to dismiss?
Why can't I stop thinking about you?
Why isn't **** simple?
Loves not hard its the people you try to love.
The people you want to accept.
I know I'm whiny
Irritating
And very insecure
But why don't you love me?
Even if we're a thousand miles away from each other..
I'd wait
I'd wait for you.
Plain and simple.
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