3 hours ago

I am 50 shades of an emotional wreck
Everything in my life is tumbling down, what the heck
I don't know what to do, who to turn to or what to say
But no matter how hard I try the pain just won't go away
I am so sick of being hurt from the same person over and over again
It's really killing me inside. When will the pain end?
What hurts the most is knowing that he moved on
Yet I'm still here all alone, reminiscing about what we had for so long
The sad part is that I actually feel like I deserve this
I mean not fully but I mean, I wasn't perfect
Oh mehn, I have to get the negative thoughts out of my head
Before I explode and cry all night in bed
This just doesn't feel right
How could the boy that I loved forget about me just like that?
I mean, I know I wasn't perfect but I thought we had something special
But what can I do now except get over it
And accept the fact that he ain't shit.

4 hours ago

the balance of love shows itself in the form of a familiar triangle.
you know, the one we were examining before we tried to cut the heartstrings connecting us.
i pointed to the centre– explaining how it was impossible to reach the balance point;
it felt like empty love, but now what?
we are attached by the bond of souls and whether or not the balance of love is ever achieved it's still the most exquisite happiness i have ever felt.

7 hours ago

1:30 am
22 degrees
as i stop my 6 page intro
of my 5 chapter thesis
to drink my 3rd cup of coffee
i grab my 1 cup
filled with 2/3 coffee
which i prepared 2 hours ago

as i drink 1 gulp
i remember the 1 sun pendant
the last 1 you bought
6 months ago
the 1 thing i cherished most
i lost 2 months ago

as i down the last 12 cold sips
i remember the last 12 words
you said in the last 12 months

sorry things didn't turn out the way we wanted it to be

i should get back to my thesis
#love   #heartbreak   #sad   #life   #pain   #death   #numbers   #number   #thesis  
9 hours ago

the thing about us is
that both of us desire the
flames but we are scared of the ash.

the consequences are fatal.
#love   #heartbreak   #lust  
Ignatius Hosiana
Ignatius Hosiana
14 hours ago

We met we smiled, we fell don't know if you remember... I remember the clouds were at war with the sun trying to stop him from burning like hell as you understand the scotch in December, but it wasn't that haze that made my heart burn for as soon as the ice in my soul was melted and the river of my passion started running again, I knew you were the bulb to be set at the front of my train and the warm orb with the Vitamin D for my sceptic wounds to turn into scar since my nomadic childhood had bruised me hard and torn me off the mass of attachment into a frigid island of desolation... As soon as I saw your teary eye twinkle like a star in the sky I knew I was on the right avenue even if I knew not my destination. In fact, I didn't need to know because you were someone I'd walk with as long as I lived and never want to rest. A wave that I'd surf to the dangerous crest even if I was a hydrophobic...a wave that swept me off my feet and totally changed my heartbeat...You found me confused and taught me which thread of emotion meant what. You found me too young and naive and taught me every little thing I know... Don't know if you remember but I remember the day we first hugged and you trembled in my arms, the peck in your neck... the evening walks to the golf course and our first kiss, it wasn't your first, but it was mine and it felt like your first or at least that's what you kept saying in two years. Those were the happiest and shortest years of my life for it was like I had everything I ever wanted... we always kept our promises, when I said I would call, I would… Gosh! It was great being yours and I'd do whatever to rewind even when I already know the ugly ending to the beautiful story...You taught me so much, right from who I didn't know I was to what I didn't know I needed, like novels and literature and you to understanding what it took to be a man... There was only one thing you didn't teach me, moving on once it was over... But am getting there, I know I keep saying that and you're tired of hearing it, I just hope someday I can look back and smile like you do otherwise I shall never forget those beautiful moments for as long as I shall live, so many unforgettable things you taught me, even the painful.... How can I ever thank you for the lessons that I learnt?

#love   #heartbreak   #hurt   #lonesome  
15 hours ago

Having dark orbs which only see kaleidoscopes of pitch black sceneries; deprived of seeing even a streak of light.
You accepted me, well, did you?

Living in our monochromic world
Together, the two of us walked down 6th street— place where we first met,
Where you first embraced me with different shades of blue
And where flowers of pastel red bloomed.

Down the sixth street, you decided to remove the cerulean blindfold covering both eyes of mine,
I was flustered, my body was the only one with monochromatic hue
For you, you were vividly shining from your sad eyes to your soul, imaginary beau.

Vea De Vera
Vea De Vera
16 hours ago

i open my mouth to speak
but there is nothing but silence.
you hold my hand
under the moonlight
and the cacophony of thunder
rumbles in my mind,

there are words inside of me
trying to claw its way
out of my mouth.
still, there is silence.

but the moon was my witness,
she has watched the way
your hand had slipped inside mine,
and had seen how i'd open my mouth
to say the words that i have
been keeping inside me.

i wanted to tell you
how i know you're a mess
but when the moonlight shines
on every broken piece of you
i still think you're wonderful

i wanted to tell you
that your mind is beautiful
how i wanted to know
about everything
that made you who you are

i wanted to tell you
how i have been jealous
of sippy cups and pacifiers,
how i wished it were my lips
trapped between yours

i wanted to tell you
how i would have waited
to unravel the poems inside of you
that i would have wanted
to be so much more for you

but time couldn't permit me that luxury
and the stars have been our reprieve.
they have watched the way
we tried not to buckle
but each kiss still tasted more
and more like goodbye

i open my mouth to speak
but there is nothing but silence.
you let my hand go
under the moonlight
and the cacophony of thunder
rumbles in my mind,

there are words inside of me
trying to claw its way
out of my mouth.
still, there is silence.

but in this reticence,
know that you are more
than the metaphors i find
in the moonlight

#love   #heartbreak   #past   #lovers   #old   #moonlight  
18 hours ago

I saw you today for the first time since we ended things. A million thoughts swam through my head but the only thing that came out my mouth was silence. Forgive me if I can't greet you like an old friend, I'm still struggling to understand how you could come in and shatter my heart into little pieces and act as if nothing happened. I don't miss you but sometimes I lay in bed thinking about you and I can't get you out of my head. It's not the "I miss you" kind of thoughts though, it's the " I regret that" kind. I regret letting you push me past my limits and then forcing myself to accept that I really didn't mind. I regret giving in to you because I was afraid to lose you otherwise. I regret every minute I let you treat me less than I deserved. But most of all, I regret staying with you even after I realized you were toxic. It's not still loving you that I'm struggling with, I'm way past that, I'm still trying to love myself again after all you put me through. Did you ever realize what you did to me? Why are you spreading rumors and trying to destroy my reputation? Did you ever even care about me? Why do I even care? What good is regretting all these things going to do?
I saw you today for the first time since we ended things. A million thoughts swam through my head and I'm glad the only thing that came out of my mouth was silence.

- I'm done wasting my breath on you.
Masuda K
Masuda K
19 hours ago

My first ever art teacher was born on Valentine's day.

Can a person die of a heartbreak? I'm not sure. Well if people did, and if my beloved teacher - who was born on the day and named after the saint of love - died of a heartbreak, wouldn't it be a paradox?

19 hours ago

i am unconsiously
looking for him
in the nooks &
crevices of you .

hm, i'm unsure of how to feel about this one. as always, leave feedback!
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