So i said to myself
"Yeah, lets pretend like we don't know eachother,
It's probably for the best anyway
Because when you talk to me
And grab at my shoulders the way
You use to, it all comes flooding back to me
Everything i pushed to the back of my mind
Hits me again like a tsunami
So i'll just turn my head
And walk away
Even though i can feel your eyes
Like you always used to."
I want a relationship built on trust
I want to celebrate our accomplishments
I want to listen to you rant about how good or bad your day was
I want to take care of you when your sick
I want to surprise you with breakfast in bed
I want to try weird foods with you
I want to go on spontaneous adventures
I want to have days where we just stay in bed
I want to laugh until I can't breathe with you
I want to fall asleep with you in my arms
I want cheesy dates to the movies
I want to go on long walks on the beach
I want to go shopping and spoil you
I want to share straws in a cup
Because I've never had that.
all we have to separate the mind from the body
is light and dark: the reaching of god’s hands
over the world. i imagine that even the sun
asks be tucked in at night. & how could god refuse
another bed time story. a chance to be heard,
a chance to say “I know exactly why you exist,
why you need to be touched just to make sure
that you are still here.” we are not all light.
i know a boy so empty his father’s fists
pass right through him as if punching the dust
from his ribcage. his broken breath a reminder
that he still has something to lose in this world.
& i know a father broken and praying to a god
he cannot recognize as his own,
holding the darkness in his church-shaped hands
which soften in daylight
he kisses the blood off his stained glass knuckles
& prays for morning. his god is heavy with
the weight of history, with the burden we know
as genesis. but how could the body, light and vulnerable
refuse to touch darkness. how could the body refuse
to know that it is still here.
Born in this world as a innocent cub
Born into a world of temptations and desires
I use to be so scared of rejection and chased perfection
I lost my vision of perfection when I was introduced to temptations
I have had countless dances with these temptations
They just made me feel so free from this pursuit of perfection
This chase has led me astray and introduced me to a world of gray
A world of gray filled with nothing but space and me
I have used every fiber in me to paint my world of gray
By drinking just to sleep when I didn't even believe in me
Running miles for people that wouldn't even get out of bed for me
Doing everything to fit in instead of trying to stand out
Pretending that everything is okay while I was internally bleeding
Giving people chances that didn't even deserve a second one
Having sex just to feel something
Now my world is no longer gray
Its turned into a beautiful shade of white
Ready for me to paint a masterpiece
Time to let this little light of mine shine
And get what is mine....
nude and on my back,
hair sprawled out against the pillow.
you make me float
and you stroke me in the middle.
we drift deeper as you hold me close.
we change positions, a new position,
and you work it for me.
you get me where i'm going and
you take me to a new realm.
lets coast and slow down,
but now put yourself in overdrive.
my hands are between my thighs
and you kiss down and around my navel
and the lights from the outside world
and you're beautiful in the dark.
use yourself like you've never used yourself before.
and until we reach shore,
explore my body and i will
explore yours like a sailor
exploring the seven seas.
i stare at myself, naked, exposed
reflecting my unwashed and worn skin
tracing my curves and crests with my
am i beautiful? you say so.
yet after moments of pauses and tilts
i see the scars and bruises beneath;
a broken girl naked, exposed
so hidden in your thoughts of me.
is it history or revisited truths?
that keeps the ember burning
was it the gentle brush of your hand?
that kept me wanting;
i lay here simple, alone
the world doesn't seem to notice
when my lashes hold my soul
and you're not here to kiss me
am i not beautiful?
Half a life
Half a love
I am utterly devoted
To lesser moments.
Between the sheets
The mind drifts
In search of atonement;
An inevitable outcome.
It is living half a life
Accepting half love
Take me out of the dark
The courage within to say goodbye.