It's my mind isn't it?
It can't escape,
How can I lose it?
It's physically connected to me,
Why can I not control it?
I shouldn't have to fight it
But I do and it's constant
And there's not a moment of silence
No positive inner guidance
As it holds a constant stance of defiance
Enjoying it's facade of ignorance

©2024

I have a lot to prove
I have even more to lose
If I forgot how to move
Would you risk a mile in my shoes?
Much of my heart I've had to forcefully remove
Just to hide the fact that I'm affected by the abuse
And maybe convince myself I'm of some use
A far cry from the sorry excuse of a life as a light fixture hanging for a noose
And even though it seems to always be me against myself it's still lose lose
So I hoist a white flag but my mind isn't interested in a truce
And ignores my pleas too please just cut me loose

©2024

While you advance in front of me
I’m already a step ahead
studying your moves from behind

While you may rule over me
I’m only holding you up
for your fall

While you ignore me
you’ll forget to listen
and fail to hear when I come

Oh me, oh my, even when I try I lose it all, I've never understood why
Mind and heart ravaged but can't reciprocate, what happened to an eye for an eye?
You plead for a win, I beg for a tomorrow, abused by karma without ever meeting the guy
Every day I pray for one more opportunity to watch the sun traverse the sky
If this is not allowed then please, before any enforcement, explain to me why...

©2023

It really is.
To breakdown once in a while.
To let the world forget your mind.
To hear wrongs & feel trapped.
To love so much & lose yourself.
To cry when no one’s watching.
To have no clue of what’s happening.
To forget why you started IT.
To feel the pain and take it all in.
It’s okay.
To be vulnerable sometimes.
To lose people & to lose your mind.
To hide the hurt & pretend the smile.
To harden your heart , become arrogant with time.
To understand, life isn’t easy for all.
To give it time to turn back & crawl.
To have a heart but still using the brain.
To let it rain as humanity is strange.
To hold hands, just your own.
To be alone & trying to control.
To mourn the loss of who you use to be.
To be weak & accept our destiny.
To realise that everything happens for a reason.
It’s okay. You’ll be happy again.
It’s just another season…

Not to many have resisted the risk
Hold tightly and lose control through the same clenched fist
Pray for there to be but dread that last kiss
How many have been hurt who weren't on a list
Who gets hit with every miss
Can't run from this
I must confess,
Take a minute here to be honest
I don't know if I can say it's worth the risk

©2023

Our egos were bigger than our hearts. Our pride bigger than our minds. We couldnt take a loss yet neither of us won. Trust became an issue but only after i was honest with you. Fighting caused so many problems only because we couldnt solve them. At a loss not knowing what else to do. I ran away hoping to get through to you. I never wanted to be away this long. I just wanted you to say you need me and to come back home. But like i said once before, our egos are to big and we let our pride take all control. Afraid to lose we couldnt give in. But you tell me is this realy a win?

Time, as we have come to know it, is only relevant to our planet Earth;
because out in deep space it would lose most of its meaning and worth.
_______