There’s a certain heaviness to it,
the inherent darkness in a silent room,
damn near oppressive,
almost as if it’s crawling into you,
Then you remember her,
half curled on your chest, cradled in the nook of your arm,
wrapped around you.
A thin smile,
just barely exposing her thin, top row of teeth.
A faint glimmer in the inky blackness around you,
She looks up at you.
It’s an extreme cliché,
to call eyes a window to the soul,
but it’s fitting.
You look down at her and meet her eyes.
that childlike joy, curiosity mixed with tempered wisdom beyond her years,
all coalescing into beautiful, amber eyes,
makes that darkness feel a bit less heavy.
You see the corner of her lip trapped between her teeth,
thinking on what to say.
You’re doing the same.
Whatever words are spoken next decide an uncertain future,
a tipping point.
“I think I’m falling for you.” You want to say,
but you stay silent,
“I’m sorry,” she says almost mournfully.
That darkness comes creeping back,
weighing on you,
on your heart,
and it breaks you.
You like to think she heard it,
that breaking of hearts,
that she understands.
But she still lays there,
who are unfeeling and alone.
I love you,
But I hope with
of my lonely being,
I hope with every force
of my muscles and heart
who still crave their home
and i hope with every inch
of my fragile skin
which used to linger
beneath the tip of
your thirsty lips
not too long ago...
I hope that when you hear my name,
your insides burn
With the thought of me,
With the unbearable feeling
of missing me...
I hope it burns you
tracing with pain and repentance
the void that you created
the day you left me.
As he walks away
With my heart and a gun
My world turns to gray
As a war has begun
A month has gone by
Hoping and wishing
That you won't die
and leave my heart missing
Three months later
The news left me empty
Up all night praying it gets better
Now that you left me
I can't believe you're gone
You left me too soon
Crying all night until dawn
Trying not to miss you
Forever in my heart
Gone but never forgotten
With my heart torn apart
Missing you until it's rotten.
When my joy is lost, I smile because life has a lost and found.
When the power goes out, I smile because it's an adventure.
When I almost crash my car, I smile because it was just an almost.
When thunder crashes and I'm petrified with childhood fears, I hold my blankets tight and I am thankful the thunder is only a natural occurrence and not bombs crashing on my house.
When I get 2 hours of sleep because nightmares kept me awake, I laugh because I can always sleep another time.
When I forget what hope is, I smile because it's woven into my being so tightly that I can always feel it, even if I've forgotten what it is.
When I can't breathe and my world is spinning, I smile because I know I haven't died yet.
When I can no longer get out of bed because I am so sore from the pain of life, I smile because being late to school isn't the worst thing that can happen.
When everything is lost, I smile because I am lost too.
Don’t cry my love
I know that it hurts
Just a little bit longer, I promise it’ll be okay
Remember the times, just months ago when you had never thought so much happiness was possible?
It will come back
The happiness always comes back
And when it returns you’ll say “hey there, old friend. It’s so nice of you to show up here again.”
Then you’ll smile and you’ll laugh and you might even cry
Because absence makes the heart grow fonder
And fonder it shall grow
For next time it leaves, remember these words
Read them over and over until your love returns