in the garden i
stood before a
great wallnut tree
and it whispered to me;
child,i'll be gone in a year.
lower my branches and
rip out my green jewel
and smash it with a rock ,like
you did when you were nine,
every summer,every time.
Not yet ready to be eaten,
not yet ready to be cracked,
take my children,leave the roots
i'll be gone as soon as you
dye your hair and change your blue,
and next year you'll stand right here on
the print of what i was.
and you'll be ripe,
and ill be rot,
and dear one,you'll be gold,
but i'll be
memories are still memories.
they are something behind us.
they are abstracts.
they are just them.
but what if i still live in those situations?
what if my heart palpitates
just the way it did back in those circumstances?
what if my tears roll down my cheeks as I retrieved?
what if my heart tears apart as i remembered?
what if i hallucinate?
would the memories still be behind me?
would they still be abstracts?
are they still right behind me?
February 25, 2017
Between people hiding tears behind smiles
I remember how we are now like piles,
The piles kept deep in my closet's drawer, drowning in dust, stiff and hopeless
Just like my heart, the one many adore...
But here those encircle and surround me, and
As i crave what has been lost with the dust
My life shines with you
So I keep holding on to what's buried into the past within the gust.
We were different, like oil and water.
We were different, like white and black.
We were different.
We were same, like trees and grass.
We were same, like green in meadows.
We were same.
We were, you out there and me right here.
We were, in this world, meant to be together.
© Ali Qureshi
You'll never be her
She was my first. She was my first date, my first love, the first one I wanted to build a home and have a family with.
Her face was the first to meet my family. Heck, she became part of our family. She was the first girl my mother loved for me.
She too was my first heartbreak; the first one to build me up and break me down. Her knowledge of me was the same as my knowledge of myself.
But she too will never be you.
She'll never be the one who picked me up when I thought I was never going to get back up.
No matter what she does, she'll never be able to love me as much as you do. She'll never know me more than I know myself like you do. She could never make me realize that I'm worth more than I think I am. She could never make me feel any happier and more contented like you could.
My love, know that you should never compare yourself to my past. There's a reason why she's there and you're here with me right now. The reason is because you are the one I love.
You are a gift from above. You are my present. Everyday I pray that you remain my present when tomorrow comes, and God knows I would do anything to keep you.
So do not bother yourself about it. Shed your worries away, for as much as you'll never be her, she will never be you.
I dared not to repeat history,
To not repeat that life changing mistake, But different actions, same results.
I piece together this puzzle,
Oh so carefully.
From my experience in the past few months,
I've learned the things we did to fail.
But this isn't enough,
Not much information gathered.
And so, here am I walking on a similar path,
It feels like October 14th all over again.
The past, full of mistakes, false hopes, forgettable and unforgettable memories.
For the past is spoken in a language of its own for the past is a dialect understood by all, leading us to the present.
The present, a gift awaiting unwrapping as though everyday is Christmas morning.
Everyday is an experience becoming the past, leading to the future.
The future, forthcoming and unprecedented.
The future is the wrapped gifts of the present, something we cannot prepare for rather something we must play by ear.
For we are the future.
For we are to write the future, enjoy the present and learn from the past.
A lust so cold
A grip to hold
An Indispensable Addiction,
Rupturing through my discretion.
A life of grey
Fabricating into a global fray
Engulfed in own winter
Creating a hinder
An unknown artery,
To a off beat past, build to last
Addiction taken a toll,
A radical high
Accolades pouring a hippie love
Can’t skip her extortion
Caused by her distorted visions,
A floating body,
Like a prisoner in her womb
Can’t leave, cuz I was buried eons back
What was meant for fun took its toll all over at once.
I find myself lost again
In a pit void of light and hope
(With familiarity to bruise me further)
Who would drop me in here?
Where any weep you let out
No matter how quiet
Will echo back with the weight of all your sorrows
It's not like "friendship" and "true love" will help
They have only dragged me deeper
Piercing my heart with blade called trust
And using you as a steping stone to leave
The very place I drown in
Why would they leave?
Only the lights of moments once shared
Seem to offer
Or some sense of it
But even the brightest of stars fade over time
Why would hope be any different?