You're always there, when I smile.
But not right now.
I can't stop myself from frowning now.
Smiling mouth with my deadened eyes
and quivering all alone in my mind.
I remember when you said
that if I need you, you'll be right there.
Why don't you love me
anymore? Was I sickening to the touch?
Why don't you love me
anymore? Did I scare your love away?
I need you back. You won't come back.
You won't return my love.
How can I obtain the love that you hold in your heart?
You're always there, when I laugh.
But you're gone now.
Screaming, crying in a storm of feelings.
Smiling until I get home,
is this some kind of sick joke?
I miss the ways you held my hand.
I love you and it hurts to see you.
How could it be, that I've fallen
for you, even though you
walked away? You should have stayed by my side.
After all you said you would.
Please don't leave. Why did you leave?
You promised you would always be there.
I'll be waiting if you want to return.
He holds her with his hands.
Kisses her on the cheek.
Loves her like no man ever before.
He said he wants to marry her,
take their kids to school.
He said he wants be next to her,
he’ll never lift his hand against her and will
never ever be cruel.
A blind man could see his love,
how much he loves
and how much her loves her heart.
So when they whisper their I loves you’s
They do not see me watching
They do not not hear the thought,
for they are together in bed sleeping…
I wish I could be loved like that.
I was a shirt filed with straw and rags.
Pants that hang loose. Jeans cuffed pinned uncomfortably.
Nothing to think of; a hat filled with straw.
The inability to walk. Pinned to a board.
Chest disproportionate to a small waist.
Sleeves flung in the wind.
Left standing still; a face motionless.
Pinned to hickory oak.
A shadow left in an empty field, the boundaries of a checkerboard shirt.
The insecurity of straw hands.
Pickett fences to the feet of crows,
Still she'd visit often.
Distance cut short by dark heavy wings.
She'd caw in my silence,
Not knowing the ability to smile I stood against purpose.
She refused to run, poking fun at my hat.
The clothes that hung loosely in the wind, scurf tied tightly around my neck.
Feeling her prick the strings of my chest.
Strands of straw filled by her need to find a home.
Was there anything there at all before that moment.
Becoming shelter to the way she pried.
I want to hold you in my arms
And never let you go.
Like a child holding her teddy bear
Like my favorite book that I don't want to share.
I want to love you
And cherish you forever.
But I can't
'Cause you're not mine.
And you're with her.
You're behind my tainted eyes,
the one who's perfect in the moonlight.
I crave to see your beauty,
but I cannot see through my eyes.
I have not seen you in a
while, but you are right next to me.
How can I feel so alone,
as if there are no people?
You sound so perfect right behind
my dirty dark masked eyes tonight.
I need the things that lie behind
my tainted, masked eyes tonight.
You sound just like and angel
in disguise to my masked up eyes.
You are fragile on your own,
so I will keep you safe and sound.
Excuse my eyes, is all I ask
from you and I will be there for you.
You sound so perfect right behind
my cloudy black masked eyes tonight.
She's what they all write about,
The girl that fights a war no one knows about .
She's who they all honor,
The girl that secretly dreams up such horror .
There's only so far they can venture behind the mask,
Before they uncover something that was best left latched .
She's not unique or grey or green,
She's lost and alone and wants to be seen .
The girl that doesn't own a bad day, .
She's the one hiding in your letters,
Peeking around your thoughts .
The one you think has it better,
The one you think could never be forgot .
She's the one that was murdered by social media,
The one that continues to smile even though she's past done .
The one that talks to the moon,
And cheats on the sun .
She's the one that takes off her clothes,
But leaves her insecurities on .
The one that cries herself to sleep,
But wakes up smiling .
She's the girl they all want to be,
They have no idea she's dying .
I don't believe in love at first sight,
Because when I first saw you,
I never thought you'd be mine .
I just fell into your grasp,
Into your lips .
I always knew something this good wouldn't last .
If there's one thing i'm certain,
It's that my writing changed the day I met you .
And if I could go back,
I'd make sure my heart was out of tune .
I don't believe in 11:11 wishes,
But I know that since the day we met,
I've used every one on you .
I don't live by the rules,
I'm so used to being used,
But if there's one thing I know,
It's that I'm madly, unconditionally, dangerously,
In love with you .
You're a map and I exist only to explore you,
To trace your curves,
And feel every part of you.
I was made to travel inside you,
You're a gps as I get closer to your spot.
I don't give in until you scream louder.
You don't have to fall in love,
Not when you're inside me.
So where do you want to go?
Anywhere you like,
And if you ask,
I'll explore all night .
You'll always be my entire world,
Even if you'll never be my girl.
You'll always make my heart whole,
Even if you never know.
You'll never be all I need,
Because you and I just cannot be.
You'll never make me cry at night,
Because I realized you're not worth the fight.
You'll always be the one for me,
Even if you're deadly.
You'll always make the end known,
Even if the beginning is shown.
And then suddenly you're everything I need,
All of me.
It's as if you've taken control,
Taken the bigger role.
Because suddenly I can’t breathe anymore,
And you're the cause.
It's almost like being awoken,
Seeing the sunlight and looking for a token.
Something to win,
Something to buy,
Some reason to survive.
And then suddenly all the arrows pointed to you,
Finally Cupid can shoot.
It's as if I can read your mind,
Your thoughts whisper in tune with mine.
Come fill my body with your essence,
Because suddenly you've become my favorite lesson.