How can you not see,
That I’m hurting constantly?
I have gone through life,
Worrying about others. But, what about myself?
How can you not try,
Try to help, comfort, support me?
I have to carry others, while I carry myself.
After a while, that carrying becomes too much.
And you have to decide,
Drop others or drop yourself.
And for me,
It’s always myself.
How can you not see,
That I’m constantly hurting?
From the pain of carrying,
The sky is blue today
But sometimes it’s pink
Sometimes it’s green
Sometimes it’s a colour that I’ve never seen
The sky is calming
It draws you in
Till your eyes roll over
Like the clouds in the wind
The sky is feeling
When you think you’ve stopped breathing
It gives life
Every so often,
The sky turns dark
And it starts to cry
You feel sad again
Your head filled with ‘why’s’
Your mind feels like a raging storm
Lightning striking you on and on
The sky is now bitter and cruel
It’s all over you
Don’t fret though,
Because the sky changes
It will brighten your life
And colour your days
And it can make you feel miserable
In millions of ways
The sky is intimidating
And yet so gentle
Even the sky is fine
But I’m not
I feel like I’m stuck
In my own thunderstorm
Like the rainclouds stick to me
Wherever I go
Those times where I just
When I just wish I could give up
And for everything to be done
My head swarming with dark thoughts;
Pointing at my head with a gun
I think, this is it
The end has begun;
But then I look at the sky
And it is so beautiful.
I started smoking to quit my addiction
It's started to feel like my life is fiction
Where do i go to pay my commision?
I'm ready to go i've hit my limit
"What about everything you'll be missin'?"
Everything is born with a single mission
Survival of the fittest and reproduction
No deeper meaning it's how we're written
Earth doesn't need me in this rendition
Over populated and under provisioned
We need to loose a couple in this position
To most death seems so very distan'
Fearing death is like fearing pissin'
Eventually you have to go so listen
Enjoy every moment you're given
Life has no meaning so enjoy your visit
Someday we'll all come to a finish
Extinction is enivitable so just go fishin'
When your fingertips brush against my facial construct,
& your gentle lips break the barrier of my self control,
I can’t help but see the angel inside you.
It wooshes over me, filling the air i breathe.
And all i can think is
I love you.”
You are an angel.
Blissfully captivating and effortlessly flawless.
Your essence fills my nose and I fall.
Deep into the depths of your soft skin,
Into your light blue eyes..
And your perfectly shaped lips
I fall for hours, days..
I am so in love with you.
Your angelic nature bonds me to you.
I am convinced to my very core
That my thoughts control the weather.
My heart reflects the skies
And my eyes, the storming seas.
I wish there was more sun
In my soul that I could give to you,
Instead of Summer days with overcast skies.
More cherry blossoms
and autumn harvest.
Endless sunlight and gentle rains.
Rather my heart brings floods
And whipping winds that cut your flesh.
I could end droughts and nourish the ground
With the storms in my mind.
I could eradicate germs and disease
With my icy, bitter touch.
Instead I seep into your home and slosh in the grass,
I frost the sidewalks at night,
freezing over your morning commute.
I cannot control the raging weather of my mind,
Or the biting sting of my frozen tongue.
While I send out thunder and lightning
Acid rain drains my brain
And hail storms attack my skull.
I long for Spring and live in Fall,
I search for light and walk in haze.
Craving the days I don't have to see
The air take form from my short exhale.
The days where the sun escapes
Past a lonely cloud on a random Winter day,
And the grass peaks out from the melting snow beneath.
Instead I cry with the rain and rage with the storms.
I breathe with the wind as if we are one,
Neither one knowing who's in control.
I want to make love to you in the most innocent way possible. Not fucking or sleeping together just making love. Your bare body pressed closely against mine and your lips locked on my neck. In this moment we are connected in the deepest way possible. It shows that we are comfortable with each other's bodies and ready to experience a whole new world together. I want to know all those little spots on your body that make you go crazy. I want to be the only one who knows you fully inside and out. You are mine and I am yours. I can't wait to experience things with you and become closer as a couple. I love you so much and I hope you feel the same.