Send condolences,for my family and i'll share some tears,
I just try take u out of my memory,
and pls wears something black as usual,
Just to say goodbye
and let some roses on my grave
Cuz baby, im dead
And I need to kill me
That's the only way to get you out of my head,
Kill you on my memory,
cuz you said to pretty things,
I really want to kill me,
just for this pain disappear
And so why ?
why all the funerals have rain days,
with all black umbrellas,
just for the underground cry too,
but im dead.
I just need to say sorry
That's the only thing you say when you lose someone,
and i need to say sorry,
for fall in love with you.
And when i found you're just a friend,
i said what about us, well what about me?
And he said u always be my fav one.
Waking abruptly, The man was sweating
His heart pounding in his cranium.
Reaching for a light switch,
the room illuminated,
By electronic pinpoints of colored light.
Thick shadows and darkness enveloping my being.
The light switch was flicked, yet no lights appeared.
Anxiety rising as the ocean tide,
Dashing madly up the staircase.
The room my parents once were in,
Now empty at dawn, Odd to me.
Even a bit more fear inducing than I expected.
The shadows were chasing me
through the house into this room.
I know the dark had claimed them,
Now a whirlpool opens up its maw,
Thousands of round ivory, bloodshot eyes burst forth from the shaded twisting pool. Unblinking.
The pool moved more and more, two stick-like arms grabbed the carpeted floor with curled blackened fingers, that stuck deep into the carpeted ground.
Standing, gazing at the pool feeling an uncanny combination of awe, and fear. The eyes made contact with mine. Sweating now, it spotted me in the dark.
Erupting from the pool with a great motion like the wind billowing through the oak trees it reached out for me a great long pair of arms coming towards me, letting out a silent scream for my parents, The last thing I could do was accept this new fate handed to me. Sucked into the abyss now, the beast becomes me.
The heated metal from the kettle steams the rebel in me. The panic planted will vanish after a mindful pouring of tea. Lets replace our hazardous waste with a serene moment of peace. Funny the way honey laced stardust grace tastes - bringing about a face to please.
..... And release.....
All of the tension fear and grief.
Stop with the constant judging of self by day of week
Start seeing the Synchronicities in and out of dreams
Visualize&Recognize; how to be still like trees,
Mighty yet stay playing with the rain and the breeze
Understand there is growth in what has been deemed defeat.
So let's bloom with groovy tunes and ascend above the streets.
Zoom into the moon reflectIng light with ease
Thank you for all your time sharing the air to breathe.
Hearts connected to the rhythm where we are beautifully free~
I used to think
I have it harder than others
I’m an emotional being
but how cold would the world be
without people like me?
the echoes of a laugh
the longing of rain
the sound of the ocean
flowers blooming on the window pane
I feel the sun shining on my skin
the touch of your fingers
when the lights are dim
I feel your sorrow
notice it like a ripple
on a lake
I see your laughter
the same light in you
you had as an innocent boy
I feel everything so deeply
and none of it makes sense
but without nurtures
would be incredibly dense
Why did you do it?
How do you feel?
Okay, but is it the daddy issues?
Regret isn't always instant, ya know?
Eventually, i will explode.
so i'm not what, sorry who, you wanted. maybe even needed. what is the difference. turn me over and get your kicks, did you think it was your eyes i wanted to see when i opened my own? you are nobody. not to me anyways. i wish you had blinded me: maybe i would have felt more. more than the voices. felt the music over your moans - that by the way sounded like you wanted me. felt what it was to be whole, full, content. everyday something feels like it does not belong in me and you were no exception. when you breathed into my neck it was no cold biting breeze but the memory of moments before my dog threw up in my lap - at least he looked apologetic. but i let you take it and now it's yours and that is fine by me but you have this problem where you don't know when to close your mouth and maybe if you had ever put it to use i could forgive you. insult me. please. you don't know how good it feels to have my worthlessness validated by a stranger. someone who doesn't understand my jokes and my biting comments: alienates my tongue and forces it back into hiding. the moment i felt a crack following the path your fingers had once whispered into my skin: i felt home. back to base one. back to being an infant learning how to operate these strange extensions of my body - which brought me back to you, who taught you to use those fingers? i wonder if you can hold a fork, is it crooked? the moment you couldn't peel a tangerine i should have known better. speaking of, i know i do. and i want to say it wasn't what you did or didn't do but there was a lot you skipped over. i can see you're impatient, impolite, even impotent on occasion and i have to ask: how do you support yourself on such shaky arms? i truly didn't think you'd make it through the whole, what was it, 15 (?) minutes. and what did you want? a prize? a pat on the back? for screwing and spewing your loneliness into me? lips too big, neck too long, decision making skills nonexistent, looked like your last girlfriend - did I miss anything else that was wrong? did my catholicism make it better? did that help you mount the white steed, you were no prince charming and the dragon was better company. did it hurt me, to be rejected that is, only about as much vodka as it took to laugh about it. does it haunt me? like every mistake i have ever made: but it's no big deal, you're bottom of the pile. that should please you, you couldn't hold yourself on top anyways.
It's easy to say
No one understands me
When I don't even explain
It's easy to feel
The world breaking around me
When I don't even try to fix it
It's easy to see
When I close my eyes to what's right
It's easy to hear
You can't do it
When I tell myself that
It's hard to believe
Someone can love me
When I can't love them back
Are you glad my dear?
To be mad as a hatter?
I know the heart is hard to bind
so that it will not feel.
Come present your feelings,
at my feet again.
Place them at the gateway of the gleaming kingdom
Then wander freely through the shining streets.
For I have crafted this place,
And I have made it yours again.