Jack Jenkins
Jack Jenkins
13 hours ago

A solemn black sun enshrouds these lands
Darkness seeks my spirit
Oh echoes of this darkness haunt

#sad   #depression   #lonely   #sun   #depressed   #lost   #black   #jack   #jenkins   #portfreak  

Gold, Glory, and God
The devil's water can guarantee you at least two of these.
I have seen gold and glory, but I have not once seen God whilst indulging the devil's drink.
The devil takes the night when I drink his golden piss of dull temptation leading me down into a spiral pathway of my own rise and fall
I see myself atop the world as I text you paragraph after paragraph of how much I love you, how I want to spend my life with you, how I want you to feel, and how our future would be.
While you're asleep, of course. It's at least 2 AM.
I text and text and text like a creepy Romeo to an unaware Juliet. I await your reply as the alcohol races through my blood, replacing all of the reason from my system.

The devil is a sly, cunning fox for convincing me to humor him by choking down glass after glass of his chosen poison.
My throat is burning at this point, but I am coaxed into having more. There is no stopping the act, there is no need to.

I am at peace while God sleeps and leaves me to create my own destinies. I text you again to the tune of another glass. I text you again to the tune of another glass. I text you again to the tune of another glass. I see the devil cheer me on. Blurry and dark, but I see him cheer me on.  I try to text you again to the tune of another glass, but the bottle has run dry. I find myself a comfy spot on the floor and let the night take me away

And I awaken hungover to the tune of "I'm sorry. I think we should just be friends."

July 4, 2016
#love   #sad   #drunk   #depression   #pain   #alcohol   #depressed  

lifeless
timeless
limitless
blind mess .
you a damn fool .
can't see what's right in front of you ..
" I guess .."
and yeah you guess right !
just be getting me mad tight ..
my mind so heavy , but I can see light .
too lite .
some shit just ain't sitting quiet with my spirit .
lies ? I am not even trying to hear it .
not anymore .

#love   #heart   #depressed   #hurt   #fool   #spirit   #heartache   #mad  

I wish we could go back years ago, to those days when you were a puppy a young healthy energetic non-diabetic puppy
When we play with your mom
She passed away years ago, but every time y think of her it hurts all over again
It take me back to that exact moment i run to my bedroom crying and start to drown myself in tears, nothing could ever replace her maternal feeling and the protection she will have died to give me
People might be thinking this is so stupid you are talking about a dog
But they will say that cause they just don't understand, they can't understand how it feels, how i felt
And now watching you so proudly, you learn everything we thought you
You learn to recognize my smell, my voice, my crying sounds and you sit beside my window just in case i needed you, just in case i need to look at those shiny full of hope beautiful eyes that you have
I used to think that fatness was a sing of healthiness, at least in you, you always looked so happy fat and adorable, now im watching you get skinnier and weaker every day and its just hurt so much when i look at you and your getting older but at the same time always seeing that young and wild puppy that i saw the firt time.
We grow up together, your mom was like our mom and i see you like a sister but at the same time like my baby that i have to protect.
I really wish I'm doing it well, I'm new at this, it is really making me stronger, your knew I always wanted to be a doctor and now I'm practicing because i have to inject the insulin every 12 hour and then give you your special food, and put that cream on your left leg, and after I finished all that i sit and look at your eyes and see then turning blue, and start to realize that you will be dying soon and there's nothing I could do about it
You are going to die and the only thing i can do is think about how much I'm going to miss you when your gone but at least you will be resting in peace and i will be getting stronger
Today was a normal day, we cleaned the house and make lunch, then we took you to get clean and I went to the hairdresser.
I was coming back home and hearing the radio with mom, suddenly she received a call, her face changed completely, she looks at me as i ask what happened and tells me that you are gone, that your little heart couldn't handle it anymore and that you are no longer alive
I stay quiet for a minute or two, and I started asking questions with what i had of voice between my sobbing
When I got home I could barely got out of the car, and when I did the house already felt extremely empty without you saying welcome back! And smelling us while moving your tale with some much happiness
You waited for me for four months and i will never be more thankful for that cause i got to say goodbye
I now you got through so much, every single problem you riced above, you were blind and somehow managed to live incredibly
I love you so much and i have no idea how will I managed to live without you, What do you do with all the love in the world you were willing to give, how do you keep going when the thing that kept you going is gone?  
This day didn't went as I imagine and life will never be the same, this house will always be a little bit emptier, my smile will always be a little bit fake and my heart will always have a little hole were you will always live with me

My dog died and my soul too
#sad   #death   #depressed   #alone   #dead   #cant   #crying   #suicidal   #forever   #dog  
Leia R
Leia R
1 day ago

i've had a few too many and
i miss you all too much

l.r.

cosima
cosima
2 days ago

Here I sit, wrapped in a blanket wiping the tears off my face
Its 1:24am and my mind is racing
Thinking about everything i've said and everything I haven't

I wonder if theres even a life for me on this earth
It seems as though everything I do is wrong
And everything I don't do is wrong as well
I can never win in this game of life

Everyone expects me to be a different person  
From home to school to friends to relationships
Theres a "new" me around every corner

I'm tired of changing for people who most likely don't give a shit about me
I've lost touch with myself
I don't know who I am anymore

For everyone I meet a new layer is added
I've lost count of how many I must un-peel to become my true self

Recently I've been feeling really shitty. I honestly can't tell you the last time I was truly happy. I don't even know who I am anymore. Everything just sucks and I wish I could move and start over. I wish somethings didn't happen and some things did. I'm tired of feeling like everything is my fault and that I have to explain myself all the time. I rarely do things for myself, maybe its time I start.
#self   #sad   #depressed   #people   #true   #shit   #angry   #reason   #shitty   #count  
Rebecca Lynn
Rebecca Lynn
2 days ago

For starters I'm not living a good life
Ain't driving down a good road
It's pretty bumpy and worn out

I'm slowly fallin apart
Take a good look at my heart
Nothing but stitches and scars

Walking downtown I'm not alright
Going to where no one knows
With a broken heart

But I'm slowly fallin apart
Take a good look at my heart
Nothing but stitches and scars

See that girl
With a broken world
Nothing but stitches and scars
By some boy who broke her heart
She cried
And so did I
He laughed
Because he never loved her back

Now she's walking downtown
With a broken heart
The word got around
With stitches and scars

Lyrics I wrote after a very serious relationship I had when I was only sixteen years old.
#poem   #poetry   #broken   #sad   #heart   #depressed   #lyrics   #brokenheart   #scars   #stitches  
Kelly Weaver
Kelly Weaver
2 days ago

How do I begin to explain that I cry when I hear your name if I never want you to feel sorry?
How do I speak of the horrible things I wish had been done to me back when I was at my worst?
I can remember choking on sobs and bleeding on all my pretty white clothes
But I can never remember the way it feels to be loved.
Maybe I never really was loved, though it seemed that way he left and only memories remain.
And I don't miss him but I fucking miss the warmth and comfort he provided when I was at my breaking point.
I don't know how to not feel guilty about wanting to die and maybe it's a good thing because maybe it'll keep me alive
But I cry myself to sleep some nights and I can't remember a time when I felt alright.
And though I feel numb I'll bite my tongue because I don't want you to feel bad,
You can't control your emotions and it's not your fault that I can't remember being anything but sad.

It's nobody's fault.

curse that nobody
#love   #heartbreak   #sad   #lonely   #sadness   #depressed   #alone   #suicidal   #idek  
the morrigan
the morrigan
2 days ago

it's so cold outside that i can hardly think
think of anything but you
my fingers are too numb to write you
all the sappy love poems you deserve
see, i've got this vision stuck in my head
of you and me together in the best ways
and it dances around behind my eyes
every waking second and it's driving me mad
i've imagined we have this fire
this passion and earth-shattering love
it keeps me warm on the coldest nights
and it makes me question my faith and
everything i thought to be true
god, i just want to be alone with you so i can explain
explain that i hate endings and bad blood
and reality and so we should stay in bed
give me inspiration for songs
i write them in my head when i look at you
and when i think about your eyes
i feel my breath leave my body
when they look up at me from below
it makes belief in a miracle seem natural
'cause seeing is believing and i've seen
the unbelievable in those ocean eyes
your hands... is it too much to ask
for them to keep mine warm?
i've got bad circulation and a tendency to rely on people
your lips on my ears and stomach and everywhere
there's no reason to not go back to that
and stay in that
and build our home in that
but right now i'm standing outside the party
that i left alone with you inside,
kissing some other girl
i can't give you much but i can promise
poems with my heart poured out like ink
and a place in my bed and
more devotion than you deserve
right now i'm waiting in the cold to go home
but no matter how far i go from you
i can't get you off my mind and i can't
erase where your hands have been
in, on, under, over...
i won't be over this anytime soon
even if i did make a new year's resolution to do just that
you are in the air i breathe (however reluctantly)
and reluctantly i just cannot for the life of me
let you go

cosima
cosima
3 days ago

I understand you're doing what's best for me
but you have to let me be
free

I feel like i have no freedom. I can't even leave my house while it flurries on a saturday night.
#freedom   #sad   #home   #depressed   #fun   #mom   #annoying   #bored   #house   #parents  
 
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