a part of me still loves you
and cherishes the memories
that we made in youth
and then turned to cinder
I don't know how
two people so well connected
can grow so far apart
I still hear your laugh
I still feel your hugs
the fist bumps and play fights
years of friendship fading
like the smoke filled rooms
we spent so much time in
my memory is getting hazy
I hope your little boy is well
perhaps you'll tell him stories
when he's grown
of an old friend called Finley
I want you to know
I will surely cry when you die
though I doubt
that I'll be at your funeral
I drove by the place i used to spend hours roaming hoping to find you. Its been forever since we've been there at the same time. Somewhere along the way things changed for me and i can't bring myself to go back to that place and feel hurt over it. I think i only miss you now and then because i haven't found anyone else. You were in my dreams the other night, in a totally cliche kind of way, and even in my head you leave me dizzy and nauseous (in the best kind of way). But to be honest i don't think i could face you in real life, i'd be too embarrassed after what I've done. Though i never saw you when i wanted to anyhow, so i guess i still won't now. Overall, i miss you completely and i don't miss you at all.
White fences, blue skies,
So many laughs.
So much Korean.
They say living in the past can destroy you, that dwelling on what you've lost can shred your very being.
But what if it's a good past?
We learn from history so that it doesn't repeat itself.
But we also learn how to relive the good moments.
I know if I don't sleep soon
I won't wake up until late in the afternoon
but I can't stop thinking about you
and how you smiled at me
as the distance between us disappeared.
I know it won't be much longer,
but I miss you.
I miss watching you sing
and hugging you until a song was over.
I remember your heartbeat
and feeling nervous as you found mine.
I want to be close to you again.
Not even close to who I thought I'd be,
feels like everyone is looking at me,
expecting more than what comes easily;
I can't give them what they want to see.
Relief does not come to me, it seems so,
that through motions of grief I must go.
Feeling pain so deep, feeling so low,
when it will stop, I do not know.
I feel changed down in my very core;
everything is feeling ever so sore.
I gave up on trying to keep score,
nothing seems to matter anymore.
All the things I used to want are gone
it used to matter, but now, so long.
Things do change and I was wrong
it seems after all, I'm not very strong.
It turns out that I am no longer the same
turning the tables on life's silly game.
I can't even say my mother's name
and there's no one in this world to blame.
Grief changes things, especially time,
as moments go slow or quick as a dime.
Wishing, thinking everything is fine
but really I'm drowning myself in wine.
Sarah JG 2017
Maturing into big round melons,
Yet bearing that youthful flair.
Designed for turning Atul mad,
Arch back – let them be pronounced,
Ride an imaginary gorgeous horse,
Lock them together or let them free,
Ingrained is her mark on my heart,
Narcos get so much dwarfed by her,
Gorgeous is her stupefying self.
Kissing above her asleep father's head,
Remember her I do by what she did,
Introduce me to true love she did,
Pierce she did deep inside my heart,
In my life she has such a special place.