There is a pain swelling
Like a boat listing in the ocean
And every time, all I feel is the sickness
Sickness with Pain.
One and One make Two..
So why am I all alone?
Because the Two has split
And I'm alone as One
Shattered to millions of pieces,
With no hope for recovery,
Because you stole my chance
The Glue for My Heart is gone.
And everytime the Two talk,
it is like a song stuck on repeat,
With me writing false messages
Of Hope and Wonder for the Future
And desiring to speak my mind to You
I'm Alone and Lost without My Light
And How I Really Feel is Sick
Sick, Disgusted, Lifeless, Hated
Prove me wrong, My Second Half,
And take a walk down Memory Lane
Open up the pain and embrace it with me
Because with You I can feel at peace
But Deep Down, I feel it is my fault
Soft light flits through the room
It splays shadows as dancing spirits
Over soft covers, are the shadow's object
Whispering kisses and louder sighs
Enfolded in this dance, is the soft firelight:
the gold of her hair, flashing in movement
in tempo with 'twined hands, with the pull
together, the arching touch, and then the
openmouthed cry: hands clench tight,
mouths meet, and fire flares high
A wet heat, unequaled, until
into each other they fall
Later sleep comes
and the softlight shadows
are cast peaceful
Enfolded in arms
With this pen
I slit my wrist
Let it bleed on this page
Release the sadness and rage
Let these words
Pick the lock and let me out if this cage
Paint a smile for those I love
They don't need to know
So I do my best to hide
All the pain that's deep inside
Writing blood and tears
In this little book of mine
No, I don't want it to show
I don't want your attention for this
It just brings more pain
If blood on the floor
Is what it takes to say my name
I'd rather hear silence
At least it's honest
So I write these words
Just for me
To keep Death away
I scribe its name
And hope one day
The pain that fills my pen
Will drain away
And I can put this blade
I carry the weight of a million troubles
Watching my family tear apart
And everything we had, fell to rubble.
The selfish stubborn that flows about
My sister and mother are broken
I'm stuck in a middle and can't get out.
You stupid ignorant child
Don't you even care
Your relationship's defiled.
Oh but I must have forgot
Everythings about you
Even if our family will rot.
I dread the thought of seeing you
It turns my stomach
I know she dislikes it too.
That isn't how it should be
We should all be excited
Why can't everyone be happy.
I hate this way of life
Please grow up
I can't live with constant strife.
I'll see you very soon
So very soon indeed
The desperate month of June.
See you soon my dear sister
Are you prepared
Because I'm ready for a twister.
Desires and dreams suffocating from the multitude of tightened nooses
Liars yell screams awaiting actions to ebb and let flow my creative juices
Fires up streams sinking ships and their teams burning all of their uses
Flyers and schemes left in the wake with the sinking list of all the excuses
Before you let go, you better recalibrate your aim
Who do you know, if you miss, can take the blame
Confront status quo, hide from your parent's shame
A stunt, try an grow, from a wildfire's blazing flame
Comme si comme sa
The grey area that I breathe
A snow print of a paw
Life's Purpose I must seethe
Lying out somewhere in the far off distance
Dying slow and numb with little resistance
Eyeing thee mortal setting sun's persistance
Vying for a final answer to human's existence
The vile of acid touches his tongue,
It is bitter, burning and horribly wrong.
Lost or found, anything goes.
His slipping mind and this aching crime.
Everything ruptures corrupted by life,
even white in the black shallow mime.
Stupid, dumb-fuck. Why can't he talk?
The shadows dance on the dark,
alluring and cunning giving a spark.
Observe the scorching rays of light!
Neon and blinking on this gruesome night.
The spinning, spiralling world, and this opening void,
Every thing confusing this young, troubled boy.
Look at him! Look at him dance,
to the tune of an aphonic trance.
Blurred reflections on condensed mirrors,
terrible headaches, and vicious tempers,
Everything shifting on such hazy conditions but,
Will he dance and regret again?
This grotesque and stupid addictions.