You tried to shove the words back into my mouth
but they had already slithered into your ears
and coiled around your brain stem,
that carry the taste of blood
on my lips,
the blood I spat out in the shower
carried no metaphors
or remnants of sympathy
no remorse for the simple truth.
honesty without hesitation,
tastes a lot like rusted iron
when the recipient
smells of a blurry night
in a hotel mini bar.
"Why one writes is a question I can never answer easily, having so often asked it of myself. I believe one writes because one has to create a world in which one can live. I could not live in any of the worlds offered to me – the world of my parents, the world of war, the world of politics. I had to create a world of my own, like a climate, a country, an atmosphere in which I could breathe, reign, and recreate myself when destroyed by living. That, I believe, is the reason for every work of art.
"We also write to heighten our own awareness of life. We write to lure and enchant and console others. We write to serenade our lovers. We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection. We write, like Proust, to render all of it eternal, and to persuade ourselves that it is eternal. We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it. We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into the labyrinth. We write to expand our world when we feel strangled, or constricted, or lonely … When I don’t write, feel my world shrinking. I feel I am in prison. I feel I lose my fire and my color. It should be a necessity, as the sea needs to heave, and I call it breathing."
('The New Woman', 1974)
All of these Catholic girls
With their attitudes and high heels
They used to wear skirts
But since then, they've grown wheels
Making there way over to me
Smiling white and talking pretty
What is it that they can't see?
I was raised in whatever with a Christmas tree
I was born in a junkyard
Where the dogs come out to play
They were being taught by nuns
While I sidestepped Him in my own way
They don't teach you that Jesus can't save you
In a school where they take you for what you have
You're really sweet with your mouth
And the way you move your lips
I really want a piece of you
To put my hands on your hips
But I've seen the signs, baby
And they point the other way
But if I'm wrong, then maybe
I'll stay because my heart's made of clay
Now if you'd please give me a moment
Just stay there while I think about this
I have to clear my big head again
Because you've filled it with nonsense
So just excuse me, dear, excuse me, honey
Look the other way while I'm down on myself
Raised in a little house, never much money
And now that I'm older, I don't need no help
So please, please just be on your way
I can't help myself when I'm feeling this way
The winter has set in early; monsoon a memory now,
the trees are all dusty by the all-day din.
This morning, the taxis ply early, eager to get the office-goers in.
Tea fumes in the mist.
The lady in the bungalow alights from her car
with her child, early from school.
Vegetables still asleep on the pushcart.
An eighties number mingles with the wind.
A van loaded with kerosene cans parks at the gates:
there is a tenement at the basement.
This is a cubist poem, which I later discovered is much in the style of Pierre Reverdy.
Open my door and open my mind
I take a second and go back in time
I go back to when, I didn't know you
Go back to when sad wasn't just blue
It was clear and it was real and it lingered in my air
It didn't take a breath, it only took your stare
To remind me of why my pillow was wet
Back to the times when a smirk was a threat
When days would drag on, while I was with him
They weren't really days because light was so dim
He tore me apart like junk mail on Saturdays
Scared me and bruised me, then begged me to stay
That's when you found me with my toes off a cliff
You took my hand, and gave me a kiss
A kiss that would heal, more than the pills
A kiss that seems to walk along with me still
Because when I wake up in the middle of the night
I remember you're there, holding me tight
But it's when I start to close my eyes
& go back to when, dark was a time
& light was a thing I didn't know of
When a hug from you was the same as a shove
& it brings me back to my toes off a cliff
& my heart starts to shake and my body gets stiff
But behind my eyelids, I decide to fall
Hoping my memories will fall along with it all
I'd like to distract your thoughts,
Caress you, make you feel nice & hot.
For my own pleasure,
And maybe yours.
I'll feel good making you feel good,
Be very still, I'll set the mood.
Don't try to please me,
I'm numb, you'll see.
Worry not- you'll enjoy it,
The peak is in the heat of the moment.
Your senses are going crazy,
You're liking this, aren't you, baby?
You've become undone, you beg for more,
Sure.. there's always more to explore.
But, there are rules this time,
Fret not- you'll be fine.
Can't touch me, I can't stand it,
Keep eye contact, you'll soon be an addict.
The friction is building, your sweat is visible,
Wish it was more than just physical- I'm unforgivable.
You reach the top & come crashing down,
Only your erratic breathing, not another sound.
You want more of me- all of me,
But, there's not much to give, sadly.
You want to stay, you suggest to sleep on the floor,
Oh how silly, no honey, there's the door.
Quake before your ruler if only for an hour!
He rules your mind with the echoes of audible power!
Praise him like you would the faith of your mind,
But the faith of your body and soul shall aligned!
Praise the bass-line as the endocrines race.
The drugs in her pocket with vodka you'll chase.
"Fuck our futures!
We'll rave til the sun!
Our happiness this moment won't relay the deeds done!"
They won't rant while they rage,
Like humans trapped in their cage.
The animals are free 'til they sleep in their grave!
Abandon your god and pray to the rave!