Who Will Help Me Carry Him? ~
My arms are strong but the sorrow weighs more with each mile
and my heart adds heaviness to every step
the whimpers of the ones I pass by nick me like scalpel flashes
but I dare not slow down
or I will never start again
and risk becoming a pile of shapeless rags blowing weakly on the side of the road
obscured by hot dust the color of mustard
Who will help me carry him?
who will lend their muscles, their hands and feet
and walk down this road
with hands cupped to catch
not to push away
Who will speak for him?
to lend a voice to the voiceless
to raise the volume until the wax melts from the ears of the
he has no name
his only signature the dried blood under his nose
and he will never thank you
but your arms will remember the weight
and your eyes will reach back and call the color of that blistered sunrise
and your ribs will catch,
with a memory ache of that bruising
empty prayers and promises echo like old cans knocked off a tree limb
tinny and harsh
and flowing prose on clean white paper a lifetime away
is no currency here
who will help me carry him?
you told me
about what you wanted
your future wedding dress,
future kids to be like.
and I kept thinking
gods, let me be the one
to give it to you.
I never even wanted to get married,
never wanted any children, and
your imaginary kitchen is
some people want the same things
out of life, but
we absolutely don't.
still, I could settle for a wedding
if it's you across the aisle;
and maybe I want kids, you know,
with your eyes, or at least
your heart, your grace, your forgiveness.
we'll talk about the kitchen.
look, I'm not gonna tell you
"I love you", not yet,
and I'm not writing you more songs,
and I am not wasting more words,
just these, just the once that tell you
whatever you want, it's yours,
if you'll still have me.
You aren't broken
You're just bruised,
Battered and belittled,
But not broken.
Actions don't speak louder
In your world
Words are everything.
The lack of, the undeniable presence,
The constant reminder -
It is words
That you hold dear.
But words can only soothe;
They can't hold
They don't protect
And they may leave you.
You fear words
As ardently as you love them.
You fear their abuse
Their betrayal, their absence.
You fear their absence most.
Don't fret, worry, or be uneasy
That which you know
Will not abandon,
That which you believe
Will not forsake,
And that which you trust,
Will never betray.
You aren't broken
And you will never break
You believe in the sanctity
Of your words too fervently
To allow yourself to
I just cant believe that you were fake from day one....
especially when I let you in trusting your words were real~
My trust issues now are beyond anything anyone will ever feel.
I cant understand how you can do those things but not even care.....
it doesn't add up and somethings just not right there....
but I guess I wont ever know.....
but I still love you more then you will ever know.