I try not to fall asleep, not wanting to be away from you
But then I do I sleep deep, a rest thats way past due
But while I sleep your not gone, cause baby your in my dreams tonight
Distantly I hear our song, I wish id dream of you every night
I’m so sick of feeling alone.
I’m sick of this wanting, craving feeling towards love.
i want someone to give me the world,
without me asking for it.
i want someone to read me like the back of their hand,
to understand my thoughts and accept my past.
i just need someone
to need me.
i crave someone to finally open up their arms wide and let me inside,
to hold me and to never let go until the world has crumbled and fallen
apart and we have nothing left to stand on but each others feet,
and even then i’m not quite sure i would want them to let me go.
i want someone to finally acknowledge me and my differences
and fall in love with the way my eyes wrinkle in the corners when i laugh.
i want someone to sneak over late at night and talk about the stars and how majestic the color of trees look when a storm is approaching.
to need me.
fire burns slowly
it feeds on the dead
red hot flames
coaxing strength into ash
it used to burn through me
charring pale white skin
with its all-consuming hunger
forcing blood to pump through my veins
forcing blood to drip down my legs
it is my own fire
that scarred me so beautifully
it clenched my teeth
and wrenched my eyes wide open
red-flickering across the the smooth surface
of blue green eyes
until the needle pierced me
and fed the ocean to my veins
freezing deep blue flood
extinguishing the searing hot
that once forced me to live
the water drips into my lungs
killing all the smoke I stored there
then it rushes in too quickly
all that's left is ice
crystallized behind a glaze
of blue green ever shifting eyes
where passion once burned bright
brutally murdered by
the crash of smothering waves
infinitely taller than my will power
disguised as good intentions
Yesterday I wrote nothing
I didn't read anything.
Yesterday I had almost a perfect day
Which I spent with mine
And we laughed, we played, we flirted with the mundane.
Even though I was oblivious to the world and nothing could touch me,
That bittersweet image of you was bold enough to invade my mind
And remind me of my broken heart.
my mind won't shut off
no wonder anxiety and insomnia
have been known to go
hand in hand .
there they are now, both dressed in
the color blue i once saw in your eyes,
holding hands and walking downhill.
I wonder if they see that cliff
I try to yell at them to watch out,
be careful, you're going to fall!!
I realize my voice is empty.
Just a shout to the void,
an empty waterpark in the dead of winter.
The blur you see
when you mix too many different colors of paint together
at the same time.
I can speak, but all that comes out is-
"I swear I had you! I swear I had you! I swear-"
they can hear me but they look confused
now picking up speed
heading straight for the edge
"I swear I had you!" breaks a sob
and drops me to my knees
"I swear I had you!!
just as they approach the ledge, they look at me
and all of my insanity, I can't remember clearly
but I'm convinced they smiled.
still hand in hand they jump.
an instant later I hit the ground
realizing I was the one who had been falling
the entire time.