You're the sweetest person I’ve ever met and I’ve only known you for a short while. italic
Nothing like a carefree person (which you are) to make me blow away.italic
I admire you...only a child who’s smarter than he looksitalic
My undeniable love for you can’t ever be enoughitalic
When were hand in hand I smile and so do youitalic
I cant find a bigger, stronger word to say how much I love youitalic
And though your small now, you’ll get bigger soonitalic
My darling child, just want you to know my undeniable loveitalic
Is how much I care for you.italic
Your brown skin is way to soft
And I’m sure those girls will target you
When you smile, the worlds happy
And when you frown it makes me wanna cry
I still haven’t found the right words...not yet
Still haven’t found the right feeling...not yet
Still haven’t found the right hugs to give you...not just yet
But I know I've found the love for you when I held you in my arms
I was scared because you were fragile
Because you were small
Because you were precious...more precious than the stars
And since your growing now I just want you to know
I LOVE YOU…bold
YOU KNOW WHO YOU AREbold
Dedicated to: Jacob Micah Murray, italic
Paranoid minds never find peace
A thousand battles I have fought
With nobody here beside me
Anxiety builds swiftly
The pounding in my chest
Every mistake I've ever made
Makes me wish for death
The future looks bleak
Taking a pill every day
Chemically imbalanced brains cause suffering
Praying for something to take me away
Hit the bottle hard, looking for an escape
Anything to outlive this madness
That plagues my every day
Her poetry was like a living organism
that changes form every minute
by the chemical change it undergoes
within me, the reader's mind,
each avatar did a dance different
so much the symbols and cryptograms spoke
right from time capsules of subconscious,
I had to choose from this or that.
I looked deep in to her eyes and read silently
words, one feels are severely limited, at times
much goes unexpressed for want of words
"exquisite" in such occasion is an expression
that has lost its sharp edges, due to overuse
so i smiled, I hope in a way most expressive
of the spirit the poem reflected
but more was in the poem, I sure felt,
beyond my view, some hidden pathways exist
my ears craved for hidden voices, and I told her this
evening set the stage for her recitation
we walked the country road and she began
very solemn at first, then the words took
a life of their own and became palpable
I felt I was in presence of an oracle
who receives divine command from universe
a spirit that sprung from subconscious
was heard speaking in her throbbing words
the folk walking the path stood and listened,
the look on those faces were unmistakable
a knowing beyond the meaning it was.
Have you ever had really high hopes for a thing,
And then, when it happened, you didn't know what it means ??
And you find your mind running to every extreme
But somewhere on the way, you just left the scene.
All these delusions, I call self-identity
And something that's lost, in the path, right ahead of me
Terrible nightmares, my own mediocrity,
Fighting for air, as I'm losing my sanity.
Hoping for hope, or for something forgiven
Losing my faith, or having it driven
There's only so much, one mind can envision,
And mine's all but full with the fucks I have given.
This terrible feeling called dying inside,
The sweet, sweet release of losing your mind,
These sharp, broken bits are the dreams that you find,
And sometimes I wonder, which one was mine ??
As I lay here alone and cold darkness is all I see.
I guess in a way this is how life can be.
Some people refer to happiness as sun. Bright and shinning, full of fun.
But this darkness proves them all wrong.
You can pretend to be happy all you want. But just like the sun it fades away, into the darkness,
there goes another day.
Some people cringe at the thought of everlasting life with out the sun.
Some people are so used to it they just go numb.
If you were here rite now with me, maybe you would understand more of the life you can't see.
In the darker side their truly is beauty, once you get past all of the agony.
It's really not as hard as it seems.
People say it may be dark, but just you wait and see.
the sun is closer than you think.
And that's why I'm still here rite now, waiting....
Just waiting to see...
Being in a relationship can be so complicated.
I'd assume that's why I'm not in them most often.
But this boy was sweet, and I had liked him a bit.
So I gave it a go, even though I hadn't dated in over a year.
And to be honest, I had no idea what I was doing.
What am I supposed to do, act, say?
It had been a while.
And maybe I was the one who caused us to fall to ruin.
Maybe it was my lack of knowlege or experience
that led to our downfall.
You were fine. But I was not.
You wanted to hold hands, to hug, snuggle, and kiss.
I didn't feel so comfortable with all of those.
Although I liked talking to you,
I didn't feel that click.
And when I closed my eyes,
I evisioned the road of years through my life.
I thought of my wedding and who I would be with.
And... I didn't see you.
The man by my side was still fuzy,
I guess I hadn't met him yet.
But you, I couldn't envision and future with you.
So then I had a thought,
It would only be logical to end this,
What was the point in continuing
if I knew it was inevitablly going to end.
My friend has often told me that
I'm the "emotionally attached" one.
I rely on my feelings.
And I think there is truth to that.
I didn't feel any emotion that sparked
meaning within me when I was with you.
So I ended it. And you asked to still be friends.
That's fine with me. Friends is good.
But I've noticed since then,
you haven't paid me no mind.
Haven't talked to me in particular,
or directly to me at all.
I saw you, but you were distant. You still are.
You talked with any girl but me.
And it's hard to just suddenly get used to that.
One day, I saw you before and after
every single period at school.
You always made the effort to talk to me,
to rub my hands, or scratch my back
when you could tell I was stressed.
Then the next day, you were gone.
I knew your schedule and
what classes you'd be in at a certain time.
It's like the phrase "so close, yet so far away"
That seems the perfect description for it.
Because you were right there,
where I could walk up and talk to you,
but you turned around, and walked away.
I see you talk with those girls and I wonder,
Does he not miss me at all?
Am I so easy to replace with just another girl?
Do I hold no signifigance whatsoever?
And I begin to realize, I miss you.
I miss how large your hand was and
that it practically swallowed mine.
I miss being able to lean against you
and aimlessly doze off.
I miss your humor and the
small compliments you'd always give me.
No boy had ever spoke so sweetly to me before.
It's not that I feel we should get back together.
I did the right thing. I was not happy in our relationship.
But I'm still not happy now that it ended,
and aprubtly at that.
I just wish you would talk to me.
Say something. Anything.
Walk next to me in the hallway so
I won't be alone.
Look into my eyes with yours,
as if you could speak that way.
I just wish you wouldn't ignore
my presence completely.
And it's now that I finally realize,
I took you for granted.
To my dear —,
I couldnt sleep last night or focus at all today because I feel it's actually over between us.
I'm not bitter or angry or disappointed anymore because I truly believe and know what we had was real.
Even if it was a long shot away.
With every odd
and with every statistic against us.
We still fought hard,
we fought gallantly.
— if in some distant place in the near or far future we get a chance to actually see each other with our new lives..
I know deep down inside
I will smile at you with the same
smile I always had when I did see you.
will continue to race and beat stronger with joy and I'll remember how we spent our days together, learning from each other,
learning about each other,
confiding our deepest secrets together
and growing in more and more in love.
Your love was my best love,
for it somehow awakened my
soul that was in a deep slumber
and you made me reach for more everyday.
Oh, I remember the first day,
the very first day..
You ignited a fire deep inside my heart that burned with true
to my mind and soul.
That's what you've given me
and that's what
I wish I could of gave back to you.
I wish you all the best now and in the future,
I hope you become everything I know you can be. You are one
I am glad I had the privilege to be in your life.
I'm sorry my passion and my inability to choose to settle drove us apart,
you will always be in my memories,
our days.. though short will be with me always.
I hope you find someone who makes you
that can and will give you everything you want. You deserve nothing but the very absolute best and I want you for me,
as my last favor to believe in what I've told you.
To carry on each day stronger than the last.
Even though I won't know where you are,
or what you're doing...
I'll always know you'll be okay.
I love you,
and I really wish I could say this again and have the next morning with you but here it goes:
I'll be seeing you,
I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places..
I'll be seeing you.
- Yours Now, Later and Always, Tony