Rip me to shreads
Tear me to threads
Slit the skin from my bones
Throw me sticks and stones
Dissect my useless fluff
Liking me is not enough
Save the flower petals whispers for the fragile
The weak hearts, and the infantile..
I want your pen
An honest critique, now and then...
Cleave off the useless garbage
Leaving me with better verbiage
I wanted bones.
I wanted stick thin wrists and jutting shoulder blades.
I wanted ribcage ladders leading to a faltering heart.
I wanted to die-
But I called it something else.
I called it perfect body.
I called it finally confident,
I called it happy and
They called it sick.
I challenged them with "willpower"
and they threw back "nine months to live if you keep this up."
I stand here
in the cold
as rain pours
down my shoulders.
No need for an umbrella
when my tears won't stop,
when the pain refuses
I am left empty,
and numb to the world
as I stand in front of
bearing your name.
I ask you to return
as my knees give way.
I plead with the grass,
tearing at this barrier
My screams reverberate
through the deafening silence
and I know
there's no hope
of you hearing me.
Tears still tumble
as my screams
turn to whimpers
and my head
The rain turns to snow
as it builds another
my love and my heart.
I curl into a ball
and rest my eyes.
This is as close
as we will never be.
That laugh is a symphony to one's ears
Those eyes glow with intensity and wonderment
Those lips, soft to the touch, so sweet to the taste
Those hands reaching, caressing my face
But it's that smile i won't forget
That smile could melt a thousand hearts, win wars, take away tiredness and pain
That smile is locked away in a museum of my mind, forever hung up and frequently visited
That smile will never leave me
I am afraid of
cavernous darkness enveloping me, i feel small,
black fills my vision,
and I cannot see.
I am afraid of
being thrust into bone-chilling water,
it wraps around my body,
and I cannot feel.
I am afraid of
slowly sinking into the merciless black ocean,
coughing up salty liquid that threatens to invade,
and I cannot breathe.
I am afraid of feeling blind, and numb, and suffocated
You made me feel all three.
February 4, 2015
"You have been a part of my life for many, many
A vacation perhaps you are on that avoids me
to feel your touch, or the sweet nothings that have
been silent in my ears?
Life is complete with you in it's company, but
filled with an emptiness once you walked out of
Many friends turn out to become acquaintance's
no love lost at all.
Then again there was one, and still
never to call.
Do i place you in the same category
Will you ever return to my party to spend
your remaining lifetime with me?"....
I can't wait any longer.
I don't understand why you don't just ask?
It's obvious we have chemistry,
I just can't stop thinking about you and me.
Whenever I see you talking to another girl,
my stomach goes bad, making me hurl.
I like the way I am around you,
I hope you feel the same way too.
But then when I think it through,
there's no reason for you to say "I Love You"
I'm not half as cute as the girls you like or date,
not beautiful, not blonde, not Helen or Kate.
You tell me that I'm beautiful,
I don't believe you, but you see me through.
I can't wait for you forever,
hoping, expecting, praying you'll be mine.