fragments of life
scattered on the photoshop floor
deleted before fully developed
urgency depicted as living for today
overexposing the instantaneous
cropping a disjointed existence
from the bitmap of impatience
why the aversion to time's darkroom
where future's blur slowly comes into focus
giving clarity to the contiguous
splicing realization from potential
cut to ending...
a panoramic view of destiny's horizon
where paths converge but never vanish
Time heals everything
Hate turns to love
To realize you had something
Time turns a gun to a dove
I'm sorry's are pushed away
Even though you want it more than anything on earth
Apologies are full of grey
I'm sorry's no longer have any worth
I was compared to a simple, deadly car crash
Was told life could be a ride
Until I caused that bash
I was compared with a metaphor with very little pride
I took those five jobs
Chose work over love
I mimicked those snobs
I took that money thinking I was above
What I though I had is gone
But there is always hope
Love is not something to pawn
What I thought I had had now left me to mope
condom comersials on your average tv
next a show about teen pregnancy
followed by todlers in tiaras dressed as prostitutes on tlc
parents blaime others for 16 year old mothers
and guys who are allready left there seed
this isnt what its supposed to be
somethings different but when have life ever been as it seems
irational thoughts leave children with adult like dreams
, such as one day ill be the one on a movie screens
makin more money then my parents have ever seen.
intangible like the concepts we hold of love
. thinkin physical prosperity is owed since birth
but the only thing that is certain we shall die and decay like all things on earth
. then to those that beleive in love it is just a dream to keep our minds from becoming caotic and obscene
formaly known as lust to me
so then theres the question is it worth it to love at all
so you must ask if the high of belonging is worth the fall?
like love is a narcotic that we are injected with at birth from the first time being held.
instantly addicted going from good days of smiles and your feet light as air
to the moments claiming you dont care but you cant stop shaking and you pull out your once beautiful hair.
thinkin looking at the stick wondering why would you go there
why did you let him carress and touch u
why did u ever give your purity up.
he wispered sweet nothings but you could never tell,
you could of even made him wear protection but now you think of you parents n how could you live this hell
you created this child inside of you
little bump a light kick as your face turns a new
this warming glow thst would change your life
but now mommy in the tub found her knife
I've been travelling too long, I've been trying so hard
Living my life almost two decades
20 years old little soul that sometimes don't know how to differentiate what's good & what's bad in his life
I'm just a sinner who realized that I need a savior to save me from all the wrongs that I've done
Waiting for the right platform in my life , when will it come? I will never know
In this creepy cold world it is hard to walk in a straight line
I am so thankful for the Islamic primary sources as my guideline
Using the Quran as my guidance and the Sunnah is what i'm trying so hard to follow
I can't deny there's too many obstacles in my way to the right path
But then I realized,obstacles in our path are meant to make us strong
Using all my strength to remain focused that i praying so hard to God
The Syaitan keeps whispering both in ears and sometimes my iman has gone so weak
I've been stumbling over my own feet, spacing out on thoughts , and have been lost for words
But there's something that makes me strong & I have mentally convinced myself
that "I am a Muslim"
Allah is always by my side, the right path won’t be too hard to seek
I just need to keep my eyes wide open and be prepared for anything that comes my way
Tears keep running down my face and I'm struggling too hard to express this
But I know He listens to me so well , I know He can see me clearly & He knows what's hiding inside me
So Allah as the one and only God, please hold me and guide me all the way to you
Please show me how to be kind and how it feels to be loved for the sake of You
Let me be one of your residents in Jannah
So that I can spend my afterlife with YOU forever and ever
Beginnings are the hardest things to start with.
It’s an experience you don’t have and it scares your confidence.
It’s like adopting a child and never meeting his parents.
It’s like driving for the first time and shaking on the wheel
Or trying to tell someone a story about something you never did.
It’s like having to do things for your own good
But knowing it won’t change you.
You know you should.
You do want to but something stronger’s controlling you.
And you hate yourself for fearing the time when you’ll fail because of this very moment.
It shows why you’re not brave, you’re not independent.
Oh you wanna be so, you wanna prove the world you can do something good
But is it really to them that you owe it to?
Isn’t it your life you’re trying to do right
And aren’t you the one making decisions and feeling bad afterwards?
You need to be selfish and determined.
You need to be missing all the childish times you’ve had, think about them when you’re down but bury all of those in the ground when it comes to looking forward.
You can’t afford to waste your life because you’re too slack to stand up and act.
You don’t want to look back one day on the things you’ve never done and cry your heart out because you hate who you’ve become.
It’s not when it’ll be too late you will have a chance to make it up for that.
Focus on goals and work it all out, you’ll see it’s easier when you believe you did right, when you’re proud of your life, when you know there’s nothing you could’ve done better in this one.
Fifteen years since I was safe.
Six years since I had a peace of mind.
One year, six months since our first kiss.
One year since our last.
Ten months since I last felt your touch.
Eight months since we had a conversation.
Seven months, five days since were were together.
Two months since it rained.
Two weeks since I last cried.
Three seconds since I last thought of you.
My memory is my greatest enemy.