I stay awake at night because my demons won't let me rest.
They like to whisper in my ears with dreadful words and the taunting truth.
I don't dare lay down in silence because that's when they're loudest.
I stay up with television to distract myself until my eyelids fall weak.
I don't dare sleep because that's when the demons create the most vivid imagery.
No rest will rid of my demons, they haunt my dreams.
The room smells of breeding.
And I'm sure there'll be
foetuses uncurling in the nightmares of day
will you carry my offspring?
will they crawl from you in the heat of night
exasperated and dumb to the world
feeble fists flailing
we'll meet in cafes at train stations
play with the table cloth
until we have no eyes with which
to drink this world up.
Inside the red knot
a baby wails eternally.
He grabs me in his arms,
And for a moment I feel insecure.
My body is frightened, maybe
Just a little more than my mind.
Without warning, he makes me
Feel more complete and beautiful.
And I find myself falling into him.
It's such a joke, for me to feel
Even the slightest bit of confidence.
But with him I feel it all.
He leans into my ear and whispers,
These two words have haunted me
Ever since the first day we
Locked our bodies.
It's frightening how two words
Can make you want so much more.
It is our job to reclaim joy.
That is it.
There is no other point to this life.
Don’t believe what they they tell you.
It’s not true.
You are not that important.
And neither are they.
Watch what they do, instead
And you will find a different way
For it is they who Life created
In all its infinite wisdom
To strip you of your joy
They who marched your soft small body into the machine
And had you emerge a man
Strong enough to bear the burial of your tiny little dreams.
So forget what they say
But thank them.
For without their sacrifice
You would not know the gift
Of finding your way back
All on your own.
Writing well is an experience.
To write about a sunrise you must
Sit on a deck overlooking the ocean
and watch the stars drown in the apricot glow of relentless daylight.
You must see morning before it sees itself.
To compose a poem that will take someone’s breathe away,
You must endure a breathtaking moment.
Climb mountains until you can’t find yourself.
Go to a coffee shop late at night and pay 5$
To listen to someone mold stories into rhymes
And spit them into a mike until you forget where you are.
Go to the beach and listen to the ocean laugh until it makes you cry.
If you ask me to write about sublime nature
I will write about how early mornings make you feel still.
I will write about dusk and how it scares me because
Nothing stops the sun from setting,
but it seems like everything stops me.
If you ask me to write about ambition,
I will write about how gravity and time have always been friends.
I will write about mountains I had to get over,
But by the time I did it was too late.
I will write about how many times
Teachers looked me in the face and said “Why can’t you get this.”
But I will also write about how many times they said
“I never thought you’d make it this far.”
I have ambition, people just rush me.
If you ask me to write about love,
I’ll write one thing;
If you don’t love yourself,
You will always be chasing people who don’t love you.
If you ask me to solve for x,
I’ll flip over my worksheet and turn x into a metaphor.
But if you ask me to write,
I will write as sweet as daylight,
Or as harsh as midnight thunderstorms.
I write to relate, and to provide vision.
A view into our world through a lens
That not many people get to look through,
Though it is always there.
today i was sluggish
I ran a 6:45 mile
Beat my mile time
New max on bench
Almost have an eight pack
And somewhat feel unhappy
My body is a temple
That society and culture busted
Warped by mocking of blemishes and dimples
Six pack well built
I fall in that circle
Mal nourished till I tilt
Collapses when i turn purple
Guided by past achievements
Visions of success
To forget what belief meant
Gain mass the more you digest
Calories, Carbs, and proteins
Vitamins, liquid, and BCAA's
Appreciate where you were like other would if they are you
We are all victims turned into the very perpetrator we rejected
Look in the mirror
Change or accept
Fight or conform
Satisfy pleasure or live in comfort
To be honest
I haven't felt a reason to be happy
I appreciate when times are good
But I'm still not happy
And i refuse to ruin someone's day
Or hid my emptiness behind a smile
And until I find what I am looking for
Tomorrow at 9am
I'll be at the gym
Thy body caressed,
By his guiding hands.
My nerves relented.
This is love,
In its own lust.
Man or Woman,
One strives more than the other.
Thy kisses of fruit,
His warmth within,
A heart pure and whole.
To heal her wounds,
Of the past Untold...