Everyone thinks I'm doing better
I have them all fooled
I even tricked myself for a little while
But you can only push away feelings for so long
And then the darkness resumes it creeps up on you
Slowly at first, then all at once
It overwhelms you and strips you of your smile
You feel naked, vulnerable
No confidence
No happiness
No pride
You can hide but you can't run
From the unbearable loneliness
The unnerving anxiety
And unending dissapointments
And you add another tick to the list
Of times that you've been let down
Another scar on your side
You've made so many marks
That you can no longer keep track
Of just how many times life has screwed you over

Yes, that’s me
Look and you’ll see
My hair a frizzy halo around my head
My eyes scanning for possibility
My arms reaching for experience
My hands clapping with delight
My heart filled with caring
I’m the one you can depend on
I never let you down
My friends call me a clown
I live to laugh
I hope to smile all day
I dream of jokes to say
It’s all as clear as can be.
That’s positively, absolutely me

Is tonight another night
I like to label restless
Will it be filled with dreams
Or thoughts of things unseen

In the dark I stare at nothing
Yet something's staring back
its the night where my nightmares live
And hauntings of things I lack.

Darling, look at me,
Through this night that we can defeat
We'll march proudly and come to be
We'll see who boils under heat.

When the sun decides to wake
Darling, I will be there
When the sun comes up
I'll always be here.

A split second spent, 
wide- eyed gazing upon your
somber shaded face
immersed in December white;
'T was then I lit the flame 
Of wanderlust ardor.

A streak of love,
A burst of breathless delight,
Both trod the boulevard 
In my palms.
The pavement shined like silver,
And a benevolent force so tender
Stopped my tears,
Stopped my soaring through nighttime madness.

Stay
When the night is over,
And my heart's flame of delight
Lay dreaming in pigments of 
Periwinkle,
And my eyelashes in the midst of a dreary blackness
Express a yearn to caress
Your witty, amethyst heart.

Through a starlight's gaze,
Upon a mural bestowing beauty,
I close my eyes and
A piano song breaks the caramel swirl of sunlight,
And my somber tears are shed,
Because I know you are blind to see not
that when I am lost, 
When the trees are bare of grey and byways are full of strangers,
I blink and you have found me,
Pretending your beauty is amongst my monstrosity.

When you are gone,
Gone without my wilted, acrylic wings,
Alone I walk a golden pavement,
Amongst the hibiscus sun of dawn,
Drowning in your laughter song,
wishing it was verity.

One day I heard a song
the best one I've heard,
a most beautiful tale
about a little bird
in love with a whale
(what a cruel world)

The whale could not
fly until sunrise; and
the bird would never
live in the ocean with him;
but the sky was mirrored
in the ocean's waves,
and the clouds were (almost)
shaped like a whale.
So she'd rest on a branch
in the sea, and the whale said
"Just say close to me,

And float along;
do not cry, my dear."
And the bird asked him,
"Will you be waiting?
For if I die first, I'll fall
right by you in the bay.
Until then we must be apart."
And the whale softly told her,
"Okay.
But you already live in my heart."

You are not the breath I breathe
or
the water that touches my lips.
You are not my wake up call
or
my goodnight kiss.

You are the heart in my chest
and
the beats beneath my skin.
You are what gives me life
and
a new place to begin.