Kneel before the noose
With roars in chest
Learnt the humility
Abuser wasting his zest

Cry at tomorrow returning no sound
Frightening silence becomes too much loud
Voices of future singing song of the past
The Now is broken and the hope lost it's trust

Cleching rays of light by stale hand
Rotten pride has been betrayed
Ravaged shell will be healed again
To lead you trough circles of undiscovered pain

Blinding light throws me into darkness
Prisoner of malice
Break your knees
In prayer for justice

Last breath will take away
This painful torture
That hates my days
Last breath will take me away
From this endless learning of pain

In morpheus embrace
I can dance with saints
I was granted new chance
But it can't reroute me from hell

Endless hopes of salvation
Avoiding self-meaning
Pray hollow tides for echoes of noble
Decomposed spirit

Swallow all colors
In the search of the path
Look back to the forward
Beyond the lifetime

Rejecting pure energy
Forced to escape
Innocent memory
Will be ravaged again

I planted flowers
  Fixed the floor
Worked for hours
  Painted the door
Re-grouted the tile
  Sowed some seeds
Rested a while
  Then pulled the weeds
Painted the halls
  The carpet is new
Washed the walls
  And baseboards too
Removed the clutter
  granite counters were bought
Replaced the gutter  
  'Cause the old ones were shot
I stand back and see
  the results of our work
And mumble softly, Gee
  You're a stupid jerk
Shiny and new
  The house is a show
Prepared for a view
  By people we don't know
Our home's at it's best
  And everyone can tell it
So now we can rest
  And the realtor can sell it!

Catatonic inscriptions etches through my textile discernment
Insidious cycles of turmoil encased within a festering distress
Uncertainty obscures my comfort into a chaotic complacency
Transforming the subtle movement of thought and bewilderment
Through the re-occurring sequences of paranoia and my uneasy psychosis
Haunting the whole of this psyche and the mental state I've come to fancy

A tell-tale apprehension of merriment and contentment may be a dismal reality
All the while being obsessed with the unfavorable outcomes I conjure within
But, I can't get enough of the disarray that breeds within my frail skull
So distant from what I feel in the ecstasy of my self-selected normality
The meek proposal of sanity has little to hold against these crooked grins
As this chaotic thought process leaves rationality as a vague ideal to null

Expansive introspection has no limit to what is perceived as validity
And, to be enveloped in the ambiguity and delusion of fact is so enticing
We all know that we've all come to recognize the fabrication of our own truth
The futile attempts to obtain an immaculate conviction in pure solidity
Is so wondrously perfunctory and constant as the life that i'm living
That I dread the day of departure from this hysteric observance of aging youth

the wind abused me today
while i was walking home from work
it screamed at me
to get going, move along
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR
it chucked dust in my eyes
and messed up my hair
it was loud and i began to cry
because my mind was also loud
and before i knew it, they began competing
in cacophony
until
i couldn't distinguish the difference between them
all i heard was
you're not good enough no one wants you
your mother doesn't love you you're a failure
waste of space waiting always waiting you're going
to spend your whole life waiting
what a pathetic little girl you are keep walking that's right
one foot after the other keep going don't stop
nothing will turn out how you want it to
you don't deserve anything good you never did you never will
and i just wanted to scream but i couldn't
sometimes i feel like if i'm quiet enough
then the physical silence will be like a lullaby
that will slowly lull the internal thunder
to hushed lightning
but that is rarely ever the case
i hate the wind
i hate this city
sometimes living gets so hard that it's a wonder
we all don't get a million dollar reward for living
through the worst hours, minutes, seconds
of our days
when we get so tired of existing but keep existing
anyway
how do we do it? how do we keep going like we do?
is it bravery or just necessity or just indifference?
i'm so tired
tired of existing
i just want to put ear muffs on and stay underneath
the covers forever
the hardest thing in the world
is being paralyzed with fear of the unknown
and living through it anyway.

Through this song I am
where my mind was in a panic,
my heart was in a knot,
its drum long gone.
Fateful delirium
like unearthing a grave,
one covered with purposeful seal,
now bonded to chaos.
These pangs are the wind
of a flute, poisoning the lungs.
Heartless pandemonium,
back you go
under lock and key.

Stick a gun to my head
Cover me in gas

Bind my hands
And strike the match

We can share the last laugh
Together

Nothings better
Than nothing to lose

Inscribe it across my tomb

I'm too numb to care
Too dumb to stare into your eyes

Your enemy is mine

And I'm just fine
With dining alone

Just fine with not shining at all

I build the bridge to burn it down
Down so far it erects again

Watch me swim as slow as i can
Inhale the water and rise to land

I'm not the man I think I am

Not the man you think I am

I am merely a middle man
A fish on land

Throw back what you catch
If you can

Soaking wet
With burning hands