My minds shut, insides ticking and about to erupt
I'm holding in all issues within
Wish my stubborn butt would just speak up
Nightmares in my cup, rolling on a bad dream
Walking alone with reality, my perception of you ain't what it seems
Ask "are you a human bein?"
Maybe he's still a villian
Don't hide what you have inside, please...tell me your "true" feelings
As my ego remains in intense healing
With jokers I continue dealing
Criticism as my decor, with old habits thrown on the floor
Clipped wings, so I jumped. Knowing ill plummet and never soar
Pushes becomes shoves
Damn, I've lost so much potential love.
By the way, I'm still a hopeless overthinker
Nothing has changed much.
But it has. I no longer feel I'm a spawn of my dad
I've grown into my potential
I can feel now what I couldn't reach
I listen to what people say
I no longer care to preach
I'm sorry to my uncle, I was lost without respect.
I apologize to my family, who never knew what was coming next
For my deception, lack of perception
I'm sorry to my ex.
With many words and few steps
I'm giving my all and nothing less
It's just so hard to improve your past
When people rarely saw your best.
With god by my side, I can't lose any fight
I will remain humble in my journey
I will help guide dark eyes to the light
I beg for the world to not quit, continue to doubt but learn to accept me.
It's not my family, it's not a woman, it's not my friends...I'm the only person who can reinvent me.
Learning to enjoy life, if you work hard, it's okay to be proud
Excuse me for saying so much in a silent room...I was just thinking again...outloud.
I'm drowning in my own mind,
It's like I have no control
over my own actions anymore.
Like my mind,
are racing quicker than the light around me,
670,616,629 miles per hour.
Take my hand darling,
let's slow down together.
[There's more to this life than living.]
we sat there
face to face
heart opened wide.
i thought i'd let you back in
but i've wasted my time
i'd apologize, too
for being so ignorant
but you should be the one
to speak first
but you're not
and it angers me.
you should too.
you should too.
i want to say something,
you should too;
but we sat there
"listen," you said.
just some rain tapping the window behind me.
So how did I become the kind of person that I am
By changing every part of me I couldn't understand
I wonder what I'll find inside the skin that I suspend
Or maybe what I've lost is more apparent in the end
And where is all the evidence I carried on my back
The weight of it has turned it into something inexact
A haziness pervading what I once believed to be
The only inconsistency I wanted to perceive
Secure in all my shakiness but never unaware
That I was going down a road that wasn't even there
And maybe in my head I thought I'd save a place for you
Until I came to realize that's something I can't do
we were magic and blazing lights
brightening each other's lives
and somewhere along the way
we lost it all in a gloomy day
i thought that it was there to stay
the light filled my eyes, no need for shade
but it has gone now, utterly departed
we couldn't continue what we started
i'll never forget but i wish i could
the pain is dull, i wish we would
be better to each other than this
but it was just a fleeting bliss
it barely lasted, but i guess that's life
you found me in a time of strife
i needed you and you were there
i'll never be more thankful for your care
i just wish it had stayed, for we were one
but it's gone, it's gone, it's just gone
we still exist alongside one another
but the magic has long been smothered
we were infinite beneath the stars
but now we just are
To sleep, and then to dream
Of cities far away
the crime rate shows up on a graph
Imitating a sleeping teenager
Hugging its bed
Of someone who loves me so sharply
that I feel his love
under my very skin
zing zap buzz
An electric current
like one that prickles up me
when I touch the inside of a socket
So foolish, so foolish
Of places so free
The wind sighs in happiness
And ruffles my hair
And the sun warms my skin
Ignites my heart
Makes it beat gloriously
A roll of thunder
A roll of drums
Of hazy dream-worlds,
Dream-lands; impossible things
Of a rainbow
Which I slip down
And can taste on my tongue;
It tastes like joy
Rushing gloriously on
Enveloping me in its cool and splashy embrace
Water that drowns me,
My thoughts, my worries.
There is only a muted world
A deafening silence
As I watch my hair float
Tentacles reaching outwards, curling inwards
I am of the sea
I want to dream of sadness, and of joy
Not withheld, never withheld
But let free;
the watergates of a dam finally opened
I want to drink in true emotion
Pure, unmixed, syrupy emotion
viscous, heady, so true
I want to breathe
Without fearing that my lungs will turn into sponges soaked in tar.
To inhale smells other than those of
The road, the smoke,
The impatience of traffic
I want to smell flowers and pine needles
to be intoxicated with the
fine, fine scotch of my senses
I want to sleep,
To sleep, and then to dream
For I am tired of the real world.