there are a lot of things
that are missing from my life
many of them
left badly
like a mother
brothers and sisters
and Daniel...
...i don't have words
to describe you,
Dan.
and i cannot
even write a poem
saying that you died
because to me
you haven't
some little part of me believes
that you are still here somewhere
and that is what keeps me
from breaking into little shards
that cut everything
they touch
you are somewhere
on your red motorcycle
with your bone-crushing hugs
still drinking and doing drugs
and smiling, smiling, smiling
even though
they say that is what killed you
i don't mind the shit.
i really don't.
i liked your heart
too much
to believe
you were evil.
you weren't.
and despite what some might say
i think you are in heaven
if only for the reason you were sent
to prison
ask jesus
to hug you for me, Dan
jesus knows
a righteous man.
Well, it begins with Rugrats,
we were babies back then who wanted to explore the world and get out of that baby pen.
And on to the playground where you can meet your friends.
Just like in Disney's Recess.
Where you have the athletic, academic, artsy, scary, socially awkward, an then there's you.
Who thinks he likes an Ashley.
Oo that's scandalous. But you just think she so god damn fabulous.
But your friends don't see how her personality just drives you crazy.
Because back then every girl had cooties.
So you put on a show and kept it on the down low.
so you keep telling yourself how life "whomps."
Until you tell that special partner, like Lilo and Stitch.
You make the perfect pair.
Where she's not 626.
But your number 1.
Where she's Belle and you're the beast.
Where she's Snow White and you're the dwarves.
Where she's Cinderella and you're the prince.
Where once you were together, you never wanted to leave since.
The story may not be over.
But all I know is that it'll end
Happily ever after
The baby cries as it comes into the world
People cry when others leave the world
They cry at weddings
And at funerals
At love and heartbreak
Crying is life
Crying is death
It's needed and hated
It's considered weak
And also strong
Crying is a double standard
Within it's self
It encompasses our world
Full of such emotion
Yet can be so empty
Crying is everything
Just think about it.
Blind to even the reflection of glass, you say.
I can see through those endless lies,
Boundless directionless, those compass eyes that speak for you when your soul can't listen and your intuition's clouded with indecision-
Where the haze is a result of your own illusions and remarkable ability to forget your judgment while rationale itself is laughing at your persistence.
I wish I was as blind as you are.
Maybe I can stop being bound to the reality that pains me through the mist.
It doesn't change that I know where the pointer's pointing in those mystified pupils.
Let me be your eyes until you realize that maybe we're meant to be headed in the same direction through the clouds.
But so fogged is the glass of the mirror;
I'm stuck in my own fallacy.
placing all our trust in
a little metal box tumbling through the air
looking down on
farmers' fields like checker pieces
huge rivers winding like sunken paths
through sandbox terrain
and glare from the sun shields
terrible mountains
slowly sinking back in jealousy
as we touch an even higher sky
layer upon layer of grey curtain
eventually folds back on itself
to reveal an even greater expanse
of tiny shiny buildings
grids upon grids of humanity
cutting through the planet's skin
leaving tattoos of asphalt
only the sky-dwellers can see
relying on cotton clouds
relying on the breath of the atmosphere
with a soft blow, we're pushed
straight across the sky
I'll trade you all my kisses...
for a simple
cuddle
I'll be walking down the street
Or dancing at a party
Or reading a book in a coffeeshop
Or rushing to one of my college classes
and I'll feel it
The burning in my veins
The tingling in my heart
Like I'm alive for the first time
Like I can breathe
And I'll look up and find a face
Looking at me with the exact same intensity
And the beautiful, perfect understanding
He'll look at me like he knows
Because as unlikely as it is, he will
And my soul will want to scream
And rush, and hug, and kiss
Like a long lost friend
Like a long lost love
Lost in the waves of the endless sea
In our endless lives
And I'll look at the face of this familiar stranger
And we'll both smile, shaken to the core
And the world will break, and stop, and change
And when that happens, I'll know.
