May 20th, 2013
Water falls down around me drenching everything. Spraying my back as it's turned up from the ground by the tires of my bike. They race across the pavement as fast as my legs pump. Sweat drips down my face. It's promptly washed away by the rain hailing in on me. Cars zip by. Passing by, leaving pockets of dryness in their wake. Heat curls off my skin, banished by the cool wind threatening to rip off my hat. Wind outmatched by the racing of my heart. The heaving of my lungs. The pumping of my blood. My legs spin faster as I push harder and harder. I have nowhere to go. I only focus on my exertion. My energy. I only focus on the going. The destination is lost in the drive. I push harder still. Then I get there. The world crashed up from behind me. Suddenly catching up. The rain drumming down. The dizziness in my head. My legs shake as I step off my bike. I'm home.
It is not often I dream of you.
Dressed in copper and brick,
Growing green with vines,
Climbing your crumbling walls.
This castle you once kept in an
Easily forgotten part of my body.
A bastion against burial
Between shoulder blade and spine.
You who choose never to announce your
Presence when entering the room.
Simply sit in the corner, tilting your wine glass
Till I notice your ever increasing stare.
Most nights, I ignore you.
Ignore your black miniskirt and pearls,
Ignore your orange sundress
And turquoise necklace,
Ignore gladiator sandals,
And Barcelona bracelet,
First worn when we still
Had the simplicity of spring.
Some rare nights like this one
I grab you by your thumbs
And pull you under the table.
Relive our longing out of the sight
Of these new dinner guests,
Crawling awkwardly between their legs.
This is how
You have always worked.
Drawing ink from my body,
One pen:knife awakening at a time
Your love affects my body parts
Your grey eyes clothes my heart
Your touch devours my doubts
Your lips flatters my mouth
Only your words make up my dictionary
The magical fires of our chemistry
is un-common and evolutionary
Relationships are entitled to obstacles
Your patience and understanding makes my everywhere peaceful.
It is impossible
To be miserable
When we are together and comfortable
Love is tough
Pain is rough
What is visible eventually fades away
What is invincible is there to eternally stay
Let love chew you up
We have alot to live for
Fallen from my life,
this surreal specter
who tempered my heart
in words of love,
undressed my soul
with the eyes of an artist,
who beheld me in my totality.
The kisses before dawn,
in between dreams,
I'll miss those spots in the dark
where soft lips used
sonar for closed eyes,
and nude warm skin
which once begged us
to bed till noon
no longer clings.
How cold to sleep alone.
A solo light in a dark room
with her shadow still on the wall,
and an indentation in the bed
where I had pressed her down
to bite her neck,
our passion lingers.
Our love loiters in
the walls of my atria,
with every beat reminding
me of how our love
turned my blood into hot wine,
but now I drink our love alone
My blood toasting to the
shadow on the wall.
Nervous. Boot heels click clack up steps. Walk around back.
Step in. People in pockets everywhere. Swerve straight to cooler.
Take a beer. Cracks open with crisp click. Drink drink drink. Ellipse of friends block out world.
Finish beer. Talking a little louder now. Confidence enough to walk to cooler
alone and grab more beers. See Steph and stop to chat. Move on. Keep on drinking the whole way back.
Two and a half beers and I’m starting to feel it. The excitement, the loosening of social limits. The loosening of myself. Boy whose name starts with a “C” but I just can’t remember starts talking to us. He’s kind of cute.
My fourth beer drains down my throat and I’m laughing at a joke. I’m friendly, people are friendly. The world is all kindness.
My sixth(and three fourths) beer in my hand, my head starts to droop and my hips are swaying of their own accord. It’s like the sky has puppet strings, twisting me side to side. The beat controls me, the world whispers my movements. Who whispers to the earth is beyond me.
…am I on my seventh or my eighth beer? People walk off to dark corners, hands on hips and breasts and chests. Still I dance somewhere in the vast dim basement. Still I twirl, rhythm gone but gravity still clinging to the movements.
But where am I? What am I doing here on this dance floor, on this city-planet floating or falling or patiently waiting on the ice-slicked footsteps of space? The world is spinning as it pirouettes around the sun, the sun circling a superstar, that star swirling around the center of the galaxy, spinning like the top in the rest of the full dark silk of space, stars clapping and nebula soaring and supernovas shattering, guests all to the raves of light years. I dance on earth’s doormat drunk and spinning, feeling a giant in my world and a broken bottle in the worlds of others. Oh god, in the words of that song that’s beating in the bones of the earth and the air in my lungs, can we get much higher?
Those few shy sun rays
That fill the saddest valleys
With the grace of their warmness
Are not aware of the joy they bring when
They steal their way in from the 70's clouds
White, grey and dark as the night
Choked by the rage of the stormy skies
Putting up with our accusing eyes
Blaming them for this furious weather
Not knowing that they're under the pain and pressure
Of the scrunchy lightening tearing them up like a whip
Few of them survive while others slip
Between the hands of the mad forces pushing them to cry
Yes, they boil with the urge to pry
As raindrops ,as cold as the heavens' heart,
With the demons pressing "restart",
Soak us with the filthy rain
Of this silly, slavering game
Every round that a devil gains