I can feel you
in the cold winter air,
nipping at my cheeks
and freezing over my toes. You
are the bloodied and broken
skin on my hands that
you are visible in my
I can’t stand Christmas
lights because they
reflect your eyes and I
can’t take holiday
songs because they
parallel your voice.
Mother, neither of us
ever really liked the winter.
Silken ribbons lacing dainty ankles
toes snug within slippers in first position
she nods her head for the music to begin
breathing a deep breath, ready to audition
Vibrations dance through out the floor
her frail body flows with such grace
with an arabesque she looks into the crowd
hides her nervousness, with the smile upon her face
As pirouettes sync with the allegro tempo
into a grande jete she soars through the air
though her leg gives, she falls with broken pins
an elegant bun lands as unraveled hair
Breathing deep breaths, her heart beat races
while seeping into the floor she rests her head on
are the tears of failure forming a lake
around the broken winged beauty, a fallen swan
Her shattered dreams unlace defeated slippers
for she has cried out all of her ambition
to be a prima ballerina, now never to curtsy
with ankles chained in fear locked in first position.
you say you want to help me, but its just a waste of our time.
my pain gets you paid, every few seconds is a dime.
but i could sit here for hours, just sit here and think.
its your silence, not mine, that pushes me to the brink.
i want to reach out, to scream in your face.
but somehow i feel like that isn't my place.
you sit there and smile, like i should be glad.
you don't realize its you that makes me so mad.
your legs remain crossed, like my arms over my chest.
if we could just solve one single problem, we could solve all the rest.
but we sit here unmoving, barely breathing, in anger.
if only, if only my life weren't in danger.
suddenly, a thought seeps into my head.
what if i just spoke? i wouldn't seem so dead.
so i lift up my eyes, and stare straight into yours.
this simple gesture, seemed to open up the doors.
you crash into me with a wave of questions, expecting answers and reasons.
but i cant give you them, my feelings change as quickly as the seasons.
i open my mouth to object your forthcoming, find myself telling my story.
you lean in to hear it all, details minute and details gory.
with every new sentence, i almost shout.
my new-found strength found a way to drown the pain out.
now i call you every sunday, just to make sure you're okay.
it used to be so different, i dreaded seeing you everyday.
when you have something to tell me, i listen to it all.
just like you were there for me, through the big things and the small.
i never saw it then, but its clear as day now.
you were always listening, its just that i didn't know how.
you read my eyes, when they were the only things speaking.
they absolutely betrayed me then, my story that they kept leaking.
i stood alone in my time of need, and blamed everyone but me.
nobody understood i was hurting, but just couldn't plea.
i know to appreciate everything life throws at me these days.
and i know how to deal with them in so many ways.
i look at my scars, the ones he put there in the worst ways he could.
i know i could cover them, and i wish that i would.
but i no longer wear them as an embarrassment, a badge of shame.
i know that he did it, and he's the one to blame.
i stopped taking my pills, i wanted you to know.
i want to be truly happy, i wanted something to show.
i smile on my own now, each and every day.
its because you listened, that i can finally say.
i made it to serenity, and now im really okay.
There's a tension between Being and Form;
the Former shrugs off Form as a snake sheds its skin,
frees Itself from the husks of old conception.
is identity with time-bound Form
rather than timeless Being.
A shaky precipice obscures the Truth:
creation, destruction, and renewal
I keep on crawling
Bashing, walking, disappearing
Reappearing in your nightmares
I have not done anything but you distance yourself
Back out, Abort, Fight back, and kill
My poison is pain
My poison is harm
My poison is death
It will do us apart
My insides break
You stepped on me
Crushed my soul
Yet I armed myself
Of pride, strength and independence
I am broken,
Poisoned by my own toxins,
I altered myself
I hide in the dark
To be unknown
And weave my thoughts into a house
Then you break it,
Breaking, into useless strings
Spinning into infinity
Breaking from reality
Settling for disparity
I crash, unbridled
I sit between the lines
From the light
The harm of the its shine
Triggering, Stunning my arms
As I embark life;
Learning that everything will end.
Recovering, from the glass,
That demolished itself
And breaking into pieces
Stabbing me, bits by bits
Analyzing the blood
Flowing down my arms
Streaming down my cheeks
Setting up a castle
Lies and Lies and all those cries
I am mistaken
Out of your fallen minds
Unveiling the pain
How we are today
The castle of fears and pains
Build, standing steadily
Yet at one angle
Will anyone see
Will anyone feel
Will anyone weave my house, my castle
Back to place
Let all the darkness disappear
And crush my pride then Call for;
H E L P.
I met a man in a playful tune
Who had a thought I thought I knew
He said to me goo goo g'joob
Does anything sound more real to you
We were out standing in a field
With fresh strawberries dancing at our heels
In a moment a bit to surreal
Continue on Bungalow Bill
We moved past a four man line
As we slipped into dream #9
Being there for the benefit of Mr. Kite
When Lucy and her diamonds fell from the sky
A day in the life left tragically
Our mystery tour on a yellow submarine
The revolution of love has now left the building
In a puddle of memories out on the street
She held your hand to comfort you
The color of love now the color of blue
Till the bitter end you sang passion true
Goodbye to you Goo goo g'joob...
John Lennon 10/9/40-12/8/80