i breathe deep, breathe slow
for the atmosphere to consume my lungs
keep my heart beating
one slow inhale
expected to work
until it doesn't
breathing in expecting air
but getting death instead
my heart reached out expecting your affection
but got death instead
Society's hot breath whispers its ugly secret
"You're not good enough"
Like claws to the skin
It rips up the past
Resurfaces old sin
"Forget the good, you've wasted away"
It feeds the demons
You've tried so hard to forget
But it's not that easy
You can't forget yet
"No love for the ugly, the damned, the poor"
It's way right into your soul
Digging up the dirt
That once filled the black hole
melancholy souls encased
behind the glass of the faceless
they see in but not out
drowning in a introspective about-face
they never sit still
it gets so bright out here you can barely see
when the sunlight kisses the snow white
you haven't seen the last of me
wait until i creep into your dreams at night
and slowly make my way through your veins
meshing with your cells
i'll build a garden in your rib cage
and spend the night in your entrails
and in the end, if all else fails
i'll leave a lock of my hair safe in your heart
just know i've been digging holes in there from the start
when the city sleeps
and you're wide awake
the time grows deeper
when you've got no way to escape
the shadows all around you
dance and sing your name
in dysphoric shades of tones
he can't tell you what to do
with the feelings you've tried so hard to tame
forget that itch in your bones
it's time to go home.
May 20th, 2013
Water falls down around me drenching everything. Spraying my back as it's turned up from the ground by the tires of my bike. They race across the pavement as fast as my legs pump. Sweat drips down my face. It's promptly washed away by the rain hailing in on me. Cars zip by. Passing by, leaving pockets of dryness in their wake. Heat curls off my skin, banished by the cool wind threatening to rip off my hat. Wind outmatched by the racing of my heart. The heaving of my lungs. The pumping of my blood. My legs spin faster as I push harder and harder. I have nowhere to go. I only focus on my exertion. My energy. I only focus on the going. The destination is lost in the drive. I push harder still. Then I get there. The world crashed up from behind me. Suddenly catching up. The rain drumming down. The dizziness in my head. My legs shake as I step off my bike. I'm home.
It is not often I dream of you.
Dressed in copper and brick,
Growing green with vines,
Climbing your crumbling walls.
This castle you once kept in an
Easily forgotten part of my body.
A bastion against burial
Between shoulder blade and spine.
You who choose never to announce your
Presence when entering the room.
Simply sit in the corner, tilting your wine glass
Till I notice your ever increasing stare.
Most nights, I ignore you.
Ignore your black miniskirt and pearls,
Ignore your orange sundress
And turquoise necklace,
Ignore gladiator sandals,
And Barcelona bracelet,
First worn when we still
Had the simplicity of spring.
Some rare nights like this one
I grab you by your thumbs
And pull you under the table.
Relive our longing out of the sight
Of these new dinner guests,
Crawling awkwardly between their legs.
This is how
You have always worked.
Drawing ink from my body,
One pen:knife awakening at a time
Your love affects my body parts
Your grey eyes clothes my heart
Your touch devours my doubts
Your lips flatters my mouth
Only your words make up my dictionary
The magical fires of our chemistry
is un-common and evolutionary
Relationships are entitled to obstacles
Your patience and understanding makes my everywhere peaceful.
It is impossible
To be miserable
When we are together and comfortable
Love is tough
Pain is rough
What is visible eventually fades away
What is invincible is there to eternally stay
Let love chew you up
We have alot to live for
Fallen from my life,
this surreal specter
who tempered my heart
in words of love,
undressed my soul
with the eyes of an artist,
who beheld me in my totality.
The kisses before dawn,
in between dreams,
I'll miss those spots in the dark
where soft lips used
sonar for closed eyes,
and nude warm skin
which once begged us
to bed till noon
no longer clings.
How cold to sleep alone.
A solo light in a dark room
with her shadow still on the wall,
and an indentation in the bed
where I had pressed her down
to bite her neck,
our passion lingers.
Our love loiters in
the walls of my atria,
with every beat reminding
me of how our love
turned my blood into hot wine,
but now I drink our love alone
My blood toasting to the
shadow on the wall.