i used to write to let out the pain
as ink spilled onto the smooth white surface
so did the excruciating truth
but now it seems
the ink is red
and it spills from the
wound that you left me
with every stroke of the pen
each memory of you and I
comes rushing back
like salt burning flesh
I know what you feel can tear you apart,
You ask why you deserve this broken heart.
Looking in a deeper lens,
Out of sight from the present tense,
I know there's a Truth, I've been there, too,
For why I've been forced to live so dark & blue.
Nothing in Life comes with certainty.
There's always an unfair Mystery -
And amidst the mists of misery
Of my darkest, coldest history,
There are lessons that become revealed to me.
So, now can I see the positivity.
The pain & sorrow, the feeling hollow -
How can I be blessed with this mess?
I asked myself this - Is there something I missed?
It didn't make sense. Every time I ask "why?" -
The pain becomes more immense.
But I was strong; I had to be.
I lived happily, like Momma wanted me.
Carrying on, singing my song,
My melody shaped by her Memory.
She lived on through me. Indefinitely.
Now, I look back, the pain, it lasts,
But my confusion, my rage,
"How could He take her away?" --
Easily, now, it's removed.
There are things that begin to make sense.
I've been shaped by Life Events.
The bad times were necessary.
They taught the most to me.
My regrets taught me Lessons I need.
Maybe for this Life, for the next, or maybe indeed,
For the Universe, on yet another lens.
Yet again, out of sight
From the present tense.
She relayed the message she wanted to send to him to me, and I put them into a poem.
Dealing with the difficulties of death.
You Are The Music
Simply said, as she wove ahead
dancing lightly to his charms
kiss these lips one more time
just know you're a friend of mine~
Friends come and go
knowing you are my music
my hopes and dreams that seem to fade~
Wow what a picture of means,
with hands that have held time
lots of kisses followed thee
to the ends of earth and more~
Lines that tell a story
folds the soul oh so fine
life so hard but what a life
never to be but oh the glory~
I swam to the shallows every night.
Nothing but shadows and the deep moonlight.
I longed for you as I had before,
but in my heart I knew that you didn't love me anymore.
I waited and sang our favorite song,
wondering exactly where our friendship went wrong~
I missed the way you smiled at me and sent me little notes
till that day was turned around
our laughter was no more,
now all I have left is the memory of us
and a quick hello....
Debbie Brooks @ Septembr 1 2015
If you only knew me any better,
my scars you would see...
soaked in lies as a shelter,
teasing you to rescue me...
You wanted to nurse my song, they said...
But my music you denied to listen!
Are you poison? Was it pride?
Or It was just my bruised intuition?
Your eyes... fatal swords...
Did lacerate my haunted bloodstream,
But the eternal stares and stolen smiles...
I treasure when I dream.
If I only knew you any better...
your swords I would understand...
Your fears and deep sores I would heal,
with a tickle in your hand.
Paulit-ulit na nagtatanong,
Palaging may binubulong,
Hanggang kailan ikukulong,
Huling sigaw ay tulong.
Puso’t isip ko’y nasasaktan,
Kailan kaya kita makakakamtan,
Kailan kaya ang tamang panahon,
Kung saan ang pagibig nati’y aahon.
Hanggang sa huli ay ikaw,
Sa mga sandaling ninakaw,
Sa piling mo aking giliw,
Oras nati’y walang maliw.