Indeed I loved her, I’d write to tell,
Hoping she would notice how to her I am kin,
She’d enjoy, then read, then see my hell,
Would see it, then pity, and her heart I would win.
I searched for things to scream and yell,
Watched other’s works, to see her smile in
Light of other’s lines, to tap the well,
Which cool water flows, to quench my thirst again.
But the spring doth run dry, I wanted more of
Other’s beautifully crafted works, though none
Of mine would cause her heart to flutter like a dove.
I had nothing to my work, I was, and wasn’t, done.
But the heart spoke to me and sang its sweet song,
“If you force feelings of love, they’ll all spill forth wrong”.
My soul has been sad for far too long.
I want to be joyful again.
I want the still, small, quiet moments to not be filled with anyones memory.
My soul aches and my body is tired.
I wish I never learned the truth about you, at least then I could go to sleep with the perfect image I had of you in my head.
But you distorted it.
My eyes were opened.
I was forced to see the truth.
It wasn't because of what you thought was best for me.
It wasn't romantic, selfless, valiant, or brave.
It was selfish, narcissistic, egotistical, lustful and painful.
Nothing will change that.
But I'm a lover.
I don't love many,
but the ones I do,
I always will.
I love deeply, courageously, boldly, widely, and freely.
I just need to let go of your memory,
so that my soul can be happy again.
I found who I am supposed to be
You took it away,
"Be like me"
I thought that a mother was supposed to wish
for happiness upon her very own daughter
and I'm sorry that I don't believe in your lifestyle
please don't force it, I am sorry to be a bother
I am aware, I need to let go
That all we once were
Has flown out the window.
I know it has been long enough
How can you look so happy
And I look so rough
It is easy to see, just not accept..
Tears swell my eyes
I draw my breath
Your smile reflects my rotting insides
I try avoiding your gaze
As you walk on by
I can pretend to be just fine
Not putting myself out
To be left to dry
To the moon and back?
Forever and a day..
How can we be friends..
When you threw it all away?
in and outof my thoughts
come only your thoughts,
I surrender my dreams
to your thoughts,
you will look around for me,
feeling my presence
in my absence,
a day - when it will be
just you and me,
weaving uncountable desires
i just think of you,
faraway when the first light
will filter though these clouds,
till the snow moon will appear
from my window to your window,
i will live with your thoughts.