my parents warned me about drugs on the street
and bad things,
but they forgot to tell me about
beautiful boys with blue eyes that cut deep,
and whose hands can take a soul,
oh god, how they forgot to tell me
how he’d make me feel
It is late afternoon
when I decide to slip from the boat
into the living waters beneath me.
I descend until I come face-to-face
with a smiling old man,
sitting on his throne-like
Dressed in ordinary clothes,
he sits with a white cat on his lap.
I know in an instant
he is a father to me
as I connect to his kind smile.
He speaks about having a drink,
telling me I should drink more often!
They look like a couple,
the old man and the cat.
Beautiful and intuitive she purrs loudly,
loving his constant touch.
She catches my eye and tells me
he loves me and that
he has gone grey waiting for me.
He feels like a father.
She feels like a mother.
They belong together,
they belong to me.
A holy trinity, all three.
And I, I feel like I’ve just had an audience
with the gods themselves.
My dad loved the idea of being different.
He would say "Make them remember you!" or "Let your light shine!"
He always told me to never do anything "half-ass"
He wanted me to work harder, reach higher, and see beyond the horizons of society.
He always said "never look down! That's when you'll fall!"
He always knew what to say but he ever knew how to follow his own advice.
" " "
Rain drops cling
in translucent patterns, liquid mosaics,
dotting the landscape through
fogged over windows
distorted movements, abstract lines
gathering in puddles
on a wooden sill…rest
Minute bodies of liquid,
seeking only forgiveness
in before felt sprinklings of love
dilute heartbreak currents,
washing yesterday’s happiness
down today’s curbs
Like a brittle autumn leaf
lonely on its journey,
cast aside, now forgotten
for the beauty it once shared
Blurring visions as
saturated thoughts dream
of the sunny days
once reflecting in your eyes
While I cry in unison
with nature’s sadness,
lost in the darkest clouds
of weathered affections
On my knees, pleading
the return of blue skies,
safely warm and dry
in your arms once more
" " "
I live in a constant fear of what I might lose tomorrow.
The thought of waking up one day and everything I thought was worth living for is just taken away like that.
I live in a constant fear of losing who I truly am while trying to chase my happiness.
I fear that one day I might look in the mirror and not recognise who I am.
To trust is to give yourself wholly to someone
You have no secrets
You have no wall in which you hide behind and cry
You have nothing to protect yourself from the times when your guards down
Your defenseless if they want to hurt you
You are weak if you trust some say
You let yourself open to someone
Which sometimes makes it hard to be brave
Why would you let this person into yourself?
Welcome them with open arms
Why let them have ammunition to hurt you with?
It's like you have given them a loaded gun
Why would you let them have that much power over you?
That is stupid
So stupid but humans are stupid
They let themselves trust
Let their love for another bring them to their knees
I was stupid enough to trust
That person let me down
Now I know that trust is stupid
I'm stupid for loving again
For letting my hopes get up
Because they always crash and burn
And it takes years for me to pick up all the tiny pieces of my heart
I know now I can't trust
I just can't anymore
Everyone in the world find it impossible to not hurt each other
To take the trust & break it
To exploit the trust that was bestowed to them
What people do
That's why I can't trust