Michael LoMonaco
Michael LoMonaco
7 hours ago

Self-esteem forms a comparison,
One that is typically a brutal report.

Giving yourself a low grade,
A rating which crushes confidence.

Analyzing tracts through superficiality,
Viewing self from a blurry lens.

Seeing ugliness when beauty shines likes a princess,
Detecting stupidity when the mind is as sharp as a knife.

The flaws you catch in the mirror are false deception,
Witnessing myths of your imagination.

This is what it feels like
on the days that feel like
lonely summer nights without you.

I wake groggily to the rays of light
seeping through your cupped hands
that play peek-a-boo with my broken windowsill.
The wind exhales chills down my spine
that inhale me to into the mattress
until midafternoon
when I can finally gasp for a drink.
When I’ve had my fill of toxins,
I can poison people in the hallways of my complex
with venomous small talk that produces
half glazed stare simplicity.
You know the one I’m talking about;
the kind of look that hangs on people
thinking about what to say
while you’re going on about
some nonsense you heard at
some place from
some pretty person.
They have a certain finish over their attention
that doesn’t quite compare to the varnish of your absence.

This is what it feels like
when summer rolls over the hills
like the ongoing thread of my oversized sweaters
on seventy-degree days
because I was always a little too good
at playing hide and seek growing up.

I feel like I get stuck in a loop sometimes.

I heard
somewhere from
some pretty person that
children don’t see scars on adults
because those people
never quite make it past getting their GED,
but here I am as an undergraduate student
mocking what little authority is left over my existence.
At the age of nineteen,
I understand that solitude is the most fulfilling companionship
I will ever browse for,
but I’ll never be able to buy us matching necklaces
at self checkout.

This is what it feels like
to cry in the middle of the day
when you haven’t paid the water bill in two months.
When I put my clothes on,
you aren’t there to watch me leave anymore
and I can’t turn around to grab your neck
and mount you again.
My lips started parting for a cigarette
when I was sixteen
and started parting for you
when I was eighteen
and now they are parting for a finger gun
aimed at the back of my throat after a meal.

I feel like I get stuck in a loop sometimes.

I heard
somewhere from
some pretty person that
I needed to be a size zero
to wrap my legs around you
and still be able to leave some room
for your opposition
when I’ve drank too much whiskey
on a Wednesday night,
but here I am as a size six
and I’m happily tipsy off your rejection
when I’m sober.

This is what it feels like
to exist off of your own
self-destruction.

#love   #poem   #self   #feelings   #poetry   #sadness   #emotions  

Growing up showing contempt for publications,
Disrespecting words of knowledge with passion.

Reluctant to pick up wisdom,
Unaware that literature can access the world.

Exploring a universe with each interesting page,
Taking you away from deficiencies in life.

Pursuing a tale filled with adventure,
Or learning about passionate facts,
A writing opens up all dimensions.

Let the mind discover galaxies,
Just by opening a book.

Mitch Prax
Mitch Prax
1 day ago

It’s only been two days
But it’s true, I miss you
I tell myself it’s just a faze
To stop myself from feeling blue
but spring has never felt colder
My bed's never felt so empty
Now, all I can do is wait for summer
To bask in your warmth and all your beauty

The journey is a predestined pattern,
One created for a righteous track.

Even when the road is rocky,
Virtue is still the main intention.

Walking on the test of faith,
As evil encourages corruption in life.

Defeating sin while flaws exists is difficult,
But a passable exam in the eyes of God.

Keep fighting wickedness with full resilience,
Even though a perfect score can’t be achieved,
And God will eventually thank you in his plan.

Sarah
Sarah
3 days ago

her spirit was so powerful,
I believed she controlled the weather.

her smile caused her eyes to crinkle and the smallest sliver of light shone through to brighten the sky.

her mouth created the most beautiful sounds while laughing and singing. It felt like the calm before a storm because for a short moment,
everything seemed perfect.

her tears in her dark hours caused monsoons and tsunamis. So much pent up emotion in one fragile person created the idea of a dam breaking when her world does too.

her rage that forms with the realization that no one can change the inevitable life brings, causes her to shake with fury. The dark sky breaks open with a momentary light. She makes lightning with her quick, angry ideas that are bursting out of her collapsing body.

her shaking hands are the slowing down of rough seas. The drying of puddles after a spring shower. She's sorry for the mess she has made but doesn't realize it's only natural.

it's in her nature, so that's why it happened in a cycle.
I stood in the eye of her hurricane and watched her fall in a downward spiral.

Written 6/14/15
#sad   #sadness   #happy   #nature   #woman   #emotions   #grief   #angry   #natural   #freeverse  

I dreamt of you last night
You were in the body of the love of my life
I remember so vividly calling out your name
Jericho
You and my former love have become one in my mind
A dangerous amalgamation
It's like you have given me Stockholm Syndrome
There is no reason for me to think of you anymore after the words you threw at my heart
Yet you've been stuck in my head like an annoyingly catchy song for over a week
Meanwhile seeing a former crush has opened up a whole other floodgate of feelings
While dealing with feelings from a current crush
Why must I wear my heart on my sleeve?
How can one person have so many emotions over 4 different people?
They are overtaking my heart and attempting to swallow me up
I feel like I am drowning in a sea of love
To quote The National
Which brings up memories of my former husband
And just like that 5 people each have a small piece of my broken battered heart
I've given out so many pieces
I should have nothing left
But they were returned in abused condition
Leaving me to put them back together ever so haphazardly
Always fumbling for a connection
I can't ever seem to hold onto.
I just wanna fall asleep
In someone's branches again .

One and Only
One and Only
6 days ago

I thought I could take it
and so I endured.
I thought I could make it
and so I went on.
Dismissing each thought
each farewell suggestion.
Little did I know
I was not that strong.

I've been good and I've been behaved.
I haven't had an idea like that for even more than days.
But somehow recently, I have been thinking,
planning once more,
my life which is fleeting.

I don't know why it's hard to tell others,
hard to tell those who you love and vice versa,
They tried asking when they seem to catch me,
but it doesn't seem that they take me seriously.
I'm just that extrovert who's had a bad day.
Doubtful it seems for me to wish myself away.
Some people have it worse and say I can't complain,
but this time it's different,
cause maybe you can handle it but this is my pain.

Stop calling me dumb,
Stop calling me intimidating,
Stop calling me walang hiya
please, stop calling me big,
It's not exactly a compliment,
so please stop saying it.
I thought you understood me
though maybe I'm at fault here,
for I could never show my feelings
as clear as my streaming tears.

I don't know how I can do this.. Most people seem to be fine leaving me alone.
#love   #feelings   #fear   #emotions   #sick   #rant   #insults   #rants  

I was definitely stuck,
With a combination of bad luck,
Having the urge to earn a buck.

This desire is an appetite,
One worth a gigantic fight,
Don’t care if it takes all night.

These dreams are hard to achieve,
But I still believe,
Willing to proceed.

Trying not to explode,
While breaking this difficult code,
Willing to do the workload,
All for this successful road.

AD Fox Spirit
AD Fox Spirit
6 days ago

I miss your kisses,
And the sweet bliss we shared.
I remember when we we're free,
I still cannot dismiss these feelings, or stop reminiscing on our past.

We loved a little to soon,
And said the word to loosely,
That was simply our mistake, hopefully we learned.

I still dream of caressing your skin,
And how you beamed when I did so.

Such simple little things, sometimes mean the world.

I cannot get rid of this love,
You were my sweet little dove,
And I will not willingly let you go.

My angel, I know I'll will not be your only one,
But let me be your last little love.

 
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