Teach me to be more confident and reliant on myself.
Teach me to be more caring and considerate of my health.
Teach me that I don't need you.
Teach me that I no longer love you.
Give me a reason to despise.
Give me a reason to cry.
Give me a reason to scream until my throat becomes dry.
Tell me you'll never forget then find me at the bottom of the bottle.
Tell me you still skip certain songs sometimes because they make you feel hollow.
Tell me that you miss me, so I can be the one to turn you away.
Tell me that you need me, so I can say I need some space.
Let me be in charge of this so I can show you how much it hurts.
Let me push you away so you can contemplate your worth.
Then please let me come back so I don't have to think like this.
I've learned what ever lesson you wanted me to.
Do I really love you?
Or am I desperate for attention.
I fear to be alone
But I fear too leave you too
I want you to be mine
But at the same time
when I have you
I forget how to love you
I crave your affection
I really do.
I just can't love like you used too love me.
Its a weird thing when you are constantly worried of dying
And then constantly worrie about not dying
I wake up, alive, and i ask myself why
But then at the same time i fear dying everytime i step up on my bike
Its a weird thing
Life is a weird thing
But i guess we have to deal with the hand we're dealt.
What once was
The way we thought that it did.
Become aware of how it has been,
And how it shall be again.
So when my mind
Concurs to you who
Loves to lie beneath my skin.
My truth divides
Truth and denial
At war within.
step right up to this broken machine
she'll take anyone
look at this queen
she's shiny and new with smiles so bright
every step she takes is light
her colours are more than a rainbow can boast
she has more than any
she has the most
they drift in the wind and fall from her fingers
her joy is infectious
she's contentment's dead ringer
this machine never stops
that's why its so popular
people will travel far
there is no other
none so dedicated to her job as this
she's a volunteer so surely she loves it
but a crisis strikes every once in a while
the machine won't admit it, she's in denial
but her colour store is personally supplied
if she told you it's abundant, surely she lied
this machine has colours she enjoys sparing
but to spend her whole life as this machine is daring
machines must be turned off
must be unplugged
this machine never does because help is her drug
she goes and she goes until she overheats
her colours start melting
they run through the streets
these runaway colours are scooped up and scrounged
meanwhile the machine is left on the ground
she rusts while it rains, there on the ground
no regard for the girl whose rainbow
seems to be gone
look how she lays so
curled up and crying but not from her loss
crying because her aid is the cost
with no regard for herself she whispers
"if I take a break, look at who suffers"
but the rainbow too must be regrown
it can only take time and care and sweet tones
encouraging words to let her know
she's not alone, she will never be thrown
from this world with contempt
because love exists
but love may not always come to you free
sometimes there is just one fee
it isn't much... just to ask
At two AM the refrigerator deliberately beckons me
screaming all of it's offerings, like a maniac banshee
I oft succumb to its wiles and to the treasures within
bending over painfully, perusing all the lowly shelved sins
Jimmy Dean sandwiches, frozen burritos, Swanson pot pies
minutes of radiation, oblivious of cost, forever on the thighs
Using my emotions, to justify all of my consumption
can't see my knees or toes, that's a pretty safe assumption
It's not that I couldn't go for a walk in the park
I prefer it here all alone, microwaving, in the dark
That's what it should be called "Weight Freedom" :D
each moment passes by,
and i can barely pretend to care.
i watch them pass with less
emotion than i watch the street below,
wondering when will my time
to live arrive?
each moment stretches out,
around me, and closes in,
but it's no different than yesterday
and the day before.
as the moments suffocate me,
they make me wonder:
when will my time
to live arrive?
I am burnt down to the wick
I am smothering in the ashes
of all the time lost waiting on you
I never thought I was afraid
of the dark, lost places
but I have to confess
this silence is unbearable
I am alone.
I can feel the weight of isolation
eating holes in my skin
I am ruined
mutilated by your indecision
Who will ever love me now?
Forged in the crucible of love and longing,
I have been made.
To say that I have lost,
Would be to greedy a statement.
To lose what most will never have.
Then feel regretful for the loss of it.
Is that greed?
Or is it love?
The humans and animals.
May never know.