You're always there, when I smile.
But not right now.
I can't stop myself from frowning now.
Smiling mouth with my deadened eyes
and quivering all alone in my mind.
I remember when you said
that if I need you, you'll be right there.
Why don't you love me
anymore? Was I sickening to the touch?
Why don't you love me
anymore? Did I scare your love away?
I need you back. You won't come back.
You won't return my love.
How can I obtain the love that you hold in your heart?
You're always there, when I laugh.
But you're gone now.
Screaming, crying in a storm of feelings.
Smiling until I get home,
is this some kind of sick joke?
I miss the ways you held my hand.
I love you and it hurts to see you.
How could it be, that I've fallen
for you, even though you
walked away? You should have stayed by my side.
After all you said you would.
Please don't leave. Why did you leave?
You promised you would always be there.
I'll be waiting if you want to return.
Months have gone by, but the pain remains
They said it’ll take time before it fades
Harder and harder I try not to think of you
But thoughts come back of you leaving on that plane
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love again
You have my heart, you took it away
I feel empty and lonely inside
Every hope and dream is shattered within
I don’t understand how you continue to hurt me
We haven’t had communication since
You would think I’d be ready to move on
The thought of you- us will never let me be
I wanted so badly to end up with a ring
To live together happy for eternity
You made me believe this could be real
You took it all from me, my everything
My family took you in as theirs
My brothers looked up to you, though they shouldn’t
It wasn’t more but false hope you gave
You took for granted all their care
You aren’t the same as you once were
But that’s what happens with time
Or is it because you hid the true you
Your mind was a mess, you were never sure
Now I’m the one feeling this way
You’re in my thoughts, my prayers, my dreams
I can’t escape the reality
You’ve done nothing but betray
Trapped in a mind so grey, so dark
Too empty, it leaves a trail of numb
In a shadow under emotions thumb
Waiting to be found
Spinning and caged
Down on the ground
Hot fire burning out by a skin so cold
Waiting, waiting to grow old
Alchemist of scenarios and doubts
Your happiness is no longer visible through the pool of misery through which you view the world and it's shouts
And at every sight
Shell of immovable clouds
You wanted more
A thousand hours
And here you lie
Lacking your usual shroud
Cast your rays
Your story is told
I'm nobody's token,
I'm a dog without a bone.
Two broken souls will find each other,
Hang on for life,
And find their lover.
But there will always be strife.
If broken recognizes broken,
And I am alone,
Will there be a time when,
I find my broken clone?
There's nobody around.
Is he someone I've already met?
Or have I just not found
Someone as broken as me yet?
Tears rolling down my face.
The emptiness is too much to handle.
I am alone in this terrible hurtful world.
No one cares about me as I once thought they did.
I am nothing to anyone, even to myself.
I have never despised myself so much.
I have never wanted everything to end so much.
This time, when I say it,
I want you to know it will not just be for attention.
The world has finally shut its doors,
And I stand outside, alone in the darkness, yearning for affection.
The gatekeepers snarl and snigger each time I get close,
And my mind races, it's roaring above my heart.
Instead of attempting to regain entry, it spits out hatred,
And pulls itself apart..
"I can do this on my own", it speaks out,
"Who needs love, care.... hope?"
"I don't need your pity, your crummy hands to hold me.
I can do this, I don't need anyone .. I can cope!"
And when my minds' voice bounces into the airy silence,
My heart grabs an opportunity to say:
"Hear me instead of these lies that my mind's feeding!
I've never truly wanted to be out here all alone.. I want to go home where loving arms take the darkness away.."
Copyright © All Rights Reserved Joanne Heraghty