/muffled collection of chattered gossip.

i may mutter, one last collection of words,
But my raspy breath may refuse them to be heard.
So I sit and ponder what to do,
On the bed, bloodshot eyes run through,
They pierce the soul of whom? and when,
Sad to the core, like a rotten apple in Eden.
The bed gleams white with an eerie glow,
But my skin runs as scarlet as winterly snow.
People crowd, crowd they do,
So much crowd, so little move.
They talk and chatter as a family affair,
Take no notice, I am absent from there.

(Like a painting in an art gallery I wait,
But like a painting in an art gallery
many underappreciate.
No one dares talk to me,
If I muttered I might break that silence, you see,
butthereis
nopoint.
)


I may mutter, one last collection of words,
But my raspy breath may refuse them to be heard.
So I sit and ponder what to do,
The line begins to flatten; through and through.
My head tilts, it aches, it does,
There is no voice from above.
But alas! I've found
I will return to the ground
I just hope my gravestone is not a sappy sound when read aloud,
!Fuck that crowd!

Using my strength, using my might,
I grab some coffee from Eve('s hand) on the right!
I may as well take caffeine and get hyped
In the split second before I sleep every day and night!
[Famous last coffee, my legacy]
Caffeine before sleep usually entices lack of,
nowiwillsleepforeternity.
(&Well;,

I could use the rest.)

SLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!

Caffei­ne before infinity. &
'ello MrFlatline.

#words   #death   #last   #political   #famous   #relgious  
Pamela Rae
Pamela Rae
3 hours ago

Oftentimes I feel imminently lost and alone
wandering through the thick of this place (my heart)
that I used to think of as home--
but then so much of late has been happening around me--
illness and death and politics I don't understand at all, you see
and sometimes the enormity of all which encompasses
my heart, my mind, my soul
tries to engulf, to suffocate to not let me go
and I find that my fears, my aches, my pain within
may devour every inch of my heart --
I hear the unending din
of white noise screaming all around, inside of me
and I catch a glimpse of seeing myself flee
and hiding in some quiet, dark, uninhabited space
my body crumpled in a heap, my hands covering my face
and I wonder ... what would become of me then?
If I ran away to hide, who then would win?
Giving up, running away truly is not a choice, I know
but now and then I wonder why all this pain won't just go
and leave me to live a life of joy and smiles and love again?
But stay it must, I suppose, and haunt me til the end
so I'll buck up and remember why I'm truly here
to give and share and to banish fear
and to share this love I carry inside of me each and every day
so, no, I won't be going far, far away--
but perhaps someday when the pain and suffering are all through
I will grasp the meaning of my life and be able to share it with you...
©Pamela Rae 03.30.2017

I try so hard to be positive, to not let it all get me down...but in quiet times it seems my heart feels like it's lost in a storm and I'm fighting to find my way to understanding and to grasp the meaning of it all... thank you for all your kind thoughts  and prayers through this journey as I share it with you.
#love   #heart   #pain   #illness   #death   #lost   #escape   #wander   #storm   #fears  
Miss Clofullia
Miss Clofullia
4 hours ago

Our parents will become orphans one day -
this is not something you normally choose.

In that moment,
some of them will suddenly find
their inner child,
wondering around life,
hopelessly,
and others
will permanently lose it
and bury it
alongside their parents.

All of these grown-up children
are wishing more and more,
with every day that passes,
to become grandparents
for OUR unborn children.

We will become orphans one day -
that's something you don't normally choose.

In that moment,
we'll become the first generation
of children that
don't have a past,
nor a future -
we will only live our present,
till the day we die..

Or, at least, that's what our mothers and fathers believe at this point about us.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWFeUNyfpmM]

Evan Hayes
Evan Hayes
10 hours ago

Death is not something to talk about
But here I am
Dead as I can be
Feared by damn
Near everything
I guess you can watch the sunset
As I wither like my grandfather's musket

Death is not to be taken lightly
Shaken tightly in my boots
Sin by shooting rightly at old coots
I see our old pictures and
We are sold fixtures in this life
You're not here
I watched myself die a little
Here in this room

I lay on my bed
Dead inside and out
Sin by my mind and wrought
With disgust with myself
I'm numb
And quite frankly broken
We can lay in my father's truck bed
And forget the prom, what a fuck head
I am

Gemini has died in me
Died without me
Gone living
Without me
I have tried to come to grips
Been at the tip
Of just leaving this town
I'm so hurt
Worst of all
I reject myself
From myself
I deserve nothing
But pain

I missed you of course
The last time I cried
I threw up
I kissed you, for the last time
I tried to chew up my feelings
And really forget everything
But how can you forget love
I want to live, but not like this
I'm so unhappy
And it's not your fault
But you certainly didn't help

You're smiling now
That's nice
I wish you smiled with me
I wish I smiled with me
All at once my world stopped
My heart has stopped
We are all so close to death
My heart could stop
And I would be forgotten
So easily
Why am I like this

I am just a collection
Of memories of you
Does everyone really want
To hear about my ex girlfriend
I remember you so vividly
You make it so easy
I have an aching in my chest that I've never felt before
And hope I never feel again

Look at me
Because I can't
Death is real
When I light up
For a smoke
I think of you
I stink of you
And drink to you
The big empty window
On the 5th floor
Now mocks me
Fuck off, me

I don't want to be here
I want to be with you
But you don't want to be with me
Right now
And that hurts less and less each day
But it still hurts

The feeling of being alone
Is what I have become
Alone every night of every day
My person is gone
My bedroom still smells of you
I want to learn nothing from this
Your absence screams at me
Nothingness seemed cool
Until I felt like nothing
Now I feel nothing
Irony is not cool
Death is not what I want

#ex   #sad   #death   #breakup  
Arthur Vaso
Arthur Vaso
14 hours ago

I live
I know not why
I breathe
I see the sky

My heart has long ago died

I am here for why?
Or faded to sky
Who cares?
A heart that does not fly

Changing universe

How?
















How do I keep on living?

How does one live, if one knows not how to die?

He just wanted to touch
the flower,
her yellow petals,
and the ruby rays of a dawning twilight

He just wanted to burn,
within flames of elation,
smelling her morning fragrance,
an essence of life

But I guess,
it was just a dream,
to fly into an outer space,
daring the laws of physics

And yet, glad
that he had followed his dream
on a long adventurous journey
as his heart faded
with no regrets

in the end, no regrets
#life   #death   #happy   #dreams   #old  
Arthur Vaso
Arthur Vaso
14 hours ago

Breathe, why
The sky, why
My heart, why
Living, why

The past, to die

I am not in sky
I am not at all
I am if at all
Underneath the leaf of fall

Seasons change

Why?

Why?
Saint Titus
Saint Titus
19 hours ago

High pitch community
From one single tone
Can go from home
To a killing floor

Made all the more harrowing
Toxic trauma of the mind

Freeze up they said

Yet we push on
And we pushed hard
We pushed it too far
Then let down our gard

And now the lights flicker from green to red
A premonition of bloodshed
Locked inside the voice of
A brother or a friend
Neither one is talking now

Survive it says
Static cuts through
And the line drops dead
Outside my head the night goes on
Cheery faces basking in the light
Permissive out of innocence

Enjoying spite out of spite
Who is right
It doesn't matter
My eyes burn bright
But no one can hear

Screams are echoed all around
But transaction leaves my words devoid
Bliss is heard amiss, above
We coveted and now we pay

The price of our sin

Eh
#parade   #death   #static   #human   #flash   #hubris   #lights   #element   #sedate   #intercom  

My father died today and it hit me like a tonne of bricks and plastered every wall that lines my frail frame.

It was a long time coming, and was to be expected due to my dad’s history of alcohol abuse, smoking habits and deep sadness inside, but at the same time upon hearing the words my whole body went into shock and I realised in a cruel and painful way that you can’t prepare for this; no matter how hard you try.

When I was first told the devastating news I was so, inexplicably, gut-wrenchingly sad, every part of me ached but then I was feeling guilt, should I have done more? Am I to blame for this? Then anger; why did he leave us? Why weren’t we enough? Then confusion, do these feelings make me selfish? And these emotions keep piling up on top of one another showing no mercy; I have so many unanswered questions such as what if and what could have been running through my mind so fast that I can hardly catch my breath. I didn’t get to say goodbye, but even if I had would it have made it easier? Harder? Or would it have remained the same?

It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, I feel like my heart keeps shattering over and over, and just when I think there are no more pieces left to break, I’m hit with that same sharp ache once again; an ache that should be familiar by now, but I can’t adjust to. My dad wasn’t perfect, and our relationship was far from that but he was a good man at heart, generous even when he had nothing and warm even when everything in him was cold, but he was just so troubled and nothing would have changed that, not even his five beautiful children, loving mother or grandchildren. I’ve never lost a close loved one before, so when I ask people about grief I hope for them to tell me something concrete, will it get better? If so, when? Is what I’m feeling right now normal? Is there a quick fix for this hole in my heart? But there is no answer, no one size fits all or tried and tested method, all I know is I am feeling empty yet flooded with emotions, and I’m trying to figure out how that can be.

- XK

sorry for any errors, my head is a mess.
#poet   #life   #sadness   #death   #loss   #thoughts   #writing   #grief   #writer  
Ritika Dev
Ritika Dev
20 hours ago

A wonderful blue, strong and bold
A marvelous place, with much to see
Our delightful oceans, and our sea

A marvelous world where so many lurk
Where we sharks, crustaceans, and octopi work
We live free, oh so carefree

The oceans hold strength, power, and control
Without them, our lives would surely fall
We must thrive in grand numbers,

Unlike humans, who take far more than they need,
We shan’t be corrupted by greed
They kill our oceans
They kill each other
We mustn't give in to the evil from above

We speak for the dead
Whose souls have turned to dust
With only carcasses left behind

Which all life will become, if we kill our great oceans
For if we kill them, we kill our Earth too
All creatures, all life goes with her too

Such is the future, unless our oceans are saved
From the greedy
Who are causing a destruction
That they themselves can never escape

For an assignment, a while ago.
#death   #sea   #fish   #oceans  
 
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