He just wanted to touch
her yellow petals,
and the ruby rays of a dawning twilight
He just wanted to burn,
within flames of elation,
smelling her morning fragrance,
an essence of life
But I guess,
it was just a dream,
to fly into an outer space,
daring the laws of physics
And yet, glad
that he had followed his dream
on a long adventurous journey
as his heart faded
with no regrets
I tried to be the father, that I didn't know
there for laughter, and the ball, to throw
birthdays and occasions, always in the stands
cheering wins, and failures, striving to understand
I wouldn't change a single hug, or smile that I received
giving support and encouragement, and, in him believed
it always seems to short a time, until he left the nest
all the emotions and feelings, unsure, if I passed the test
Shine we must, as their beacon's bright
gladly, singing songs, and asleep at night
Realizing only, in the waning afterglow
inspire all their nightly dreams
and daily dreams
He once argued with a teacher in elementary school, "Botswana, isn't a real place, my dad made it up in a story!".
With thoughts of you and I
Drifting through time.
We search and hope
To find each other
In our endless dreams.
We find an open field
Speckled with wild flowers,
None like we ever seen.
For this is how our love blooms.
To feel the warmth of the sun
As we kiss and make love.
Exploring and tasting,
Sighing and moaning.
Coming together as one.
Just as we always do
In each other’s arms.
Always and forever
Just like in our dreams.
Everyone tells you to never give up your dreams
But I am one of those dropouts
Of that philosophy it seems
I used to repeat that inspiration in my head as I drew
Pictures and pictures of things I decided were not good
At least not good enough to achieve my perfect future Where everyone is in awe of my work
And gushes about me over and over
I decided that my paintings would have to remain in the garbage
Where I believed they deserved to be
Because I had a shortage
Of belief in me
And what I thought I could be
I need money to survive
So I'll give up what I love
For a life of financial consistency
But whether or not my dreams ever come to fruition
I'm going to say what everyone else did
And tell my children and grandchildren
To never give up their dreams
While I throw away my last paintings and drawings in the trash
I pray that they will get what I never had
A dream that came true
And a job they love to do
To see another sky, another river, I
wanted to be as free as you always say that I am.
When just yesterday, a
letter stole my speech, a whisp
of the person I was moments before-- one full of
promise and expectation. I was now a
passenger whose flight was delayed. A woman
between hometown comfort, and hometown purgatory in
which I couldn’t locate Hope, until you, and a
faint voice within, whispered that dreams grow with a gust,
strengthened by adversity. Of
course, the wind
still disheveled my hair, and stripped away at walls that I
built up, tactfully, for rejection. But this too will disappear,
with a greater gust, bellowing high above me, like
A robust cloud of thickening smoke.
The Golden Shovel Reference
By the Staves
“I am a whisp of a woman, caught in a gust of wind, I disappear like smoke.”
Born in this world as a innocent cub
Born into a world of temptations and desires
I use to be so scared of rejection and chased perfection
I lost my vision of perfection when I was introduced to temptations
I have had countless dances with these temptations
They just made me feel so free from this pursuit of perfection
This chase has led me astray and introduced me to a world of gray
A world of gray filled with nothing but space and me
I have used every fiber in me to paint my world of gray
By drinking just to sleep when I didn't even believe in me
Running miles for people that wouldn't even get out of bed for me
Doing everything to fit in instead of trying to stand out
Pretending that everything is okay while I was internally bleeding
Giving people chances that didn't even deserve a second one
Having sex just to feel something
Now my world is no longer gray
Its turned into a beautiful shade of white
Ready for me to paint a masterpiece
Time to let this little light of mine shine
And get what is mine....
The way I see things
if I were Ted,
You'd be Robin.
All a series of broken strings.
I don't get a choice, not this time.
I'll always come back to you, no matter what.
Love is the best thing we do.
It’s our drive. To envy, lust and crime.
It's not love if I pick another.
It's not love. Not meant to be,
something silly. Forced upon, not by destiny.
You know it’s true. We've chemistry. You're not just a number.
No, it's not wise or safe to think of you -
Especially because we're not likely to ever happen.
Then why do I choose to torture myself?
Why do I aim at catching a bird, when it has already flew?
Is there a reason why I turn back?
For not trying to find a new soul to match
mine? I'm not afraid of the future.
I don't run back to the past. Waiting for my heart to crack.
Because it's love - It doesn't make sense.
I don't care if I get hurt. I don't mind beating myself up.
It's okay just looking at you and just be thinking -
How amazing you are - how wonderful must it be to be close to you, without any suspense.
You once said, that my face always brightens up
whenever I see you. And you're right.
That is that it because I see yours
brighter and more clearly than anything
Irrelevant of what you're wearing. Irrelevant of your makeup.
I don't want to part ways;
just these few months have been hell.
I want to take your hand and just hold it,
knowing it's mine for the rest of our days.
Though, I'm not clutching your hand.
Because I'm losing you. You're fading away.
I’m losing the real you. Not the idea of being with you.
And destructive as it may be, it is so damn grand.
What I’ve learnt from five great friends,
is that I can easily lose someone I love
someone who’s special. So I act.
I do something about it.
So that the possibility never ends.
Truth is, that I can’t promise that we’ll be together,
that you’ll be mine. That you’ll be in eternal happiness.
I can’t vow to be perfect. I vow that I’ll love you though.
When it’s sunny, overcast or stormy weather.
I get it why you’re scared. It’s okay to be afraid.
I, too, am frightened, lost, in between questions.
But why not think about tomorrow? The past is familiar
but as long as I’m with you, never in doubt, never betrayed.
Yet I must keep my calm. As I am thinking about tomorrow
when midnight has not even strike. Haste is not right.
If it has to happen, it’ll happen.
I don’t want to rush. So I’ll try and take it slow.
- And yes, I wrote this poem thinking of a certain bella,
taking lines from television. However, don’t discredit me
as I’ve meant every line written here, during this journey,
seeking the girl with the yellow umbrella.
I dreamt of you last night
You were in the body of the love of my life
I remember so vividly calling out your name
You and my former love have become one in my mind
A dangerous amalgamation
It's like you have given me Stockholm Syndrome
There is no reason for me to think of you anymore after the words you threw at my heart
Yet you've been stuck in my head like an annoyingly catchy song for over a week
Meanwhile seeing a former crush has opened up a whole other floodgate of feelings
While dealing with feelings from a current crush
Why must I wear my heart on my sleeve?
How can one person have so many emotions over 4 different people?
They are overtaking my heart and attempting to swallow me up
I feel like I am drowning in a sea of love
To quote The National
Which brings up memories of my former husband
And just like that 5 people each have a small piece of my broken battered heart
I've given out so many pieces
I should have nothing left
But they were returned in abused condition
Leaving me to put them back together ever so haphazardly
Always fumbling for a connection
I can't ever seem to hold onto.
I just wanna fall asleep
In someone's branches again .
Sleep my child
Please do not fear the monsters outside
You will live to see another sunrise
Don't hide from the darkness
It can't hurt you
And let your lucid dreams take you to somewhere we do not know
I'll be here
And I'll greet you again by the morning
Because the world will protect you
And you're safe until morning
The sun will still shine for you like the smile you always have
Like a mother loves her child
And know she does love you
From the world for a few hours
Let it take care of you
Because we all need time to refresh out mind
Drop your shoulders and open your fists
Allow your mind to go blank and
Because if you don't
The sun will no longer be as bright to me
The world won't be safe
And know that the world will still be here in the morning
Your eyes will open and your body will move again
Just breathe in this moment and
Allow yourself to sleep
And wake up tomorrow knowing you are loved
You are alive
Breathing, living, loving
Living in your dreams
And building a world you want to love
A world where you sleep
Knowing the world will protect you,
That there are people who love you
And knowing that you'll release another breath come morning
So sleep, my darling