Why am i waiting
To feel something
Like when I was young
Thoughts and memories
Accumulate inside my head
But still my heart is numb

I feel anguish
And sometimes I might feel some pride
But it's only surface deep
I watch my actions
As though I'm watching someone else
Making mistakes on repeat

Every day I'm
going through the motions
It's all work and it's no play
And when I find the time
To catch up with my old friends
I've got nothing to say.

Neural pathways
Digging grooves inside my brain
Habits getting more entrenched.
Grim predictions
I must resist this limbic friction
but I just don't have the strength.

When did my horizons
become so narrow?
Ambitions have slipped out of sight
The future is empty
Just body clinging onto soul
Going gentle into night.

I don't want to listen to music anymore, I'm tired.
What is self worth?
I've been trying but lack value
No one sticks around, so now I'm out too

they say love
is the outpouring
of everything
good within you

they say love
is the respect
of self value
always soft and kind

they say love
can bring out
the wisdom
of emotional maturity

they say love
is the recognition
of another soul
so valuable so true

why does love scare me so much?

were we really the same person or did we just try to convince each other because we both had broken souls that just wanted to be loved
i can’t stop thinking about that innocence years ago when we were just sad kids afraid to even move an inch closer
what i would give to go back if i knew what life would become, that it could get even tougher and colder and uglier
i would trade anything for a moment more of innocence with you
but i guess as we grew up, we had to adapt
and i’m glad at least i got to experience your skin on mine before the world collapsed

I hope I can fall asleep forever.

I have nothing more to pour
The universe has began to change
And what we all grew comfort to has become distant
Confusion of what and where one should go has beautified itself
Some are pouring, but I have nothing more to pour
I know of love and I know of hate, I know of regrets and I know of free will.
But I’m bare.
Empty.
With nothing more to pour
Gifted with the chance to be delusional of what my happiness will be
But cursed with having nothing more than that
I want to say I’m done, I want to say I have done my best,
But even these words I cannot trust.
I have nothing more to pour and yet life keeps me around
No more free shows I say but pleasing others just seems to be my way
I have nothing more to pour and this life will continue to grow
So why lie about purpose and hope
When without nothing to pour, life still grows.

I want to be
Your ex boyfriend's
Stuntman and do
All of the things
He never had
The courage to do
Like trust you