Life Death Hope Loss
A canvas of happiness and sorrow
The Aesthetic of existing
Beauty in the painting
Admiring the painter
Every stroke from birth to final light
We wake the morning
We die to the night
Wherever we go
The static plays a melody
The sound of increasing pretense
As the serpents die of their own poison
Drink from their own goblets
The play is over and the curtains close
Thank you for coming
We hope you enjoyed the show
In the street where a child has fell
Close by a crumbled bike
Through the tears come a prayer
The child is alive and well
Battle rage in the jungle war
While on the damp ground lay
In silence come a prayer
And life for many years more
Drugs and drink to survive the day
Life coming close to end
On the knees come a prayer
Then life turned a new way
Frail body from age tremble slight
A faint smile the face hold
To the light come a prayer
An old friend clasp the hand tight
his friend Joe
and his wife
Joe yakked on
how his boss
how the church
let him down
how his wife's
and his wife
said jack shit
Joe's soft wife
she was scared
by her eyes
that she'd be
Joe yakked on
you and me?
while Joe was
if you like
Joe talked on
I must go.
what I said
Joe walked on.
like a dark
while Joe was
out at work.
She watched her
as he walked
and soft her
in Joe's bed.
How strange is it, how weird it is
You bless me with your company
Only and only when you need me
You know I'm right, ain't talking crazy.
I bring it up cuz it just struck me..
Everytime I asked if you were free
If you had time to spend with me
Times when I needed you, like, really..
Oddly, mysteriously, inexplicably
You were caught up, you were busy..
I'd say okay, only to find you all cuddly
With strangers online, giggly and flirty..
If I were to do the same, abandon thee
You'd question my friendship, my integrity
Am I being possessive? Am I being needy?
Hey, I dunno.. Why don't you enlighten me?
You like to say, I'm crazy, albeit affectionately
That I undertand you more than your family
You'd said I'm your best friend, bosom buddy
Then why aren't you ever there, only for me?
Sing me a lullaby Aunty,
I can not sleep.
I wish to hear your beautiful voice.
You are the one, and my only.
If you were gone, a river I will weep,
You'll leave me with no choice.
I've been thinking about you a lot today. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of Matty, or maybe I just haven't had anything interesting to think about today. I've been thinking about what I did wrong. If what I did wrong was send our conversations to Caylen; or if it was how I'm so angry all the time... You always said you thought my anger was your fault. You thought everything was your fault. I reassured you that it wasn't. That none of my anger was caused by anything you did. I think you knew that. One of the last things I remember you saying was "I know. I'm just paying for what someone else did." I was just starting to trust you again after that whole Chassadie thing. I shouldn't have been so stupid. The thing is, I'm not mad at you, really, anymore. I'm more mad at me. At the fact that I let some guy who was just like Mark into my life. You were playing with me. I don't think intentionally; at least not at first. One thing I keep thinking about is when you told me you didn't take Caylen to the Navy Ball. And when I found out that you lied to me about it, I started asking you questions. And then you told me that she gave you a ride to base. But one thing that I thought of is, "How did she get on base?" Civilians can't get onto military bases. If she drove you to your building, how did she get in? Because apparently you were "too drunk" to do anything productive. You stayed with her that night, didn't you? I don't understand why you can't ever be honest with me. Nothing you say makes sense. It does at first, until you hang up and I have time to piece the truths and the lies together. I don't think you truly understand what you did. You ruined my friendship with Victoria. She doesn't know that, but the reason is because I tried to fill up the void you left in my chest with one of her friends and she got envious. You ruined my relationship with my dad. He called me saying you called the ETPD on me. But the thing is, I don't believe you did that willingly. Either she made you do it, or your mother made you do it. Or, on a whim, you were lying to me when you said you wanted to be my friend; that you would stay. But I don't quite believe that last bit there. So I hope one day you tell me the truth so I can get on with my life. So I can regain composure of my posture. Control my thoughts. So that I'm not wondering what the hell I did wrong again.