I look in the mirror and see my depressions reflection
I don't know how to live when my minds divided sections
how can I take this sadness and hide it so the world can't see
I've been living in darkness talking to myself in the streets
I ask myself " hi how are you doing?" no one replys so there must be something wrong with me
I'm my only friend and these thoughts of death are always haunting me
how can I be if I cannot see
if I cannot breath
I've abandoned the word believe
I'm forever doomed in routine
destined to be an alcoholic
all from family genes
these jeans of sadness are starting to rip at the seams
and though it seems at times I'm doing better and doing me
I'm really not it's all make believe
I wish I could change the past
I would I could alter my dreams
my life is filled with sadness
this is my reality
I wouldn't mind if my fate pushed me to a fatality
my mind is lost in space
my heart is floating, no gravity
every night I talk to me
I think I'm losing my sanity
I feel so alone
even though I have family
I don't need a friend, when I know what's lyes inside of me
I'm an outcast I don't fit in society
I've given up on being sobar,
I've given up on sobriety
all of my confidence is leaving
my body along with rest of me.
you need a loser in your life?
recook me I am the recipe
I am no good
please dont stand next to me
I thought I at least had a grip on who I wanted to be
there's a difference between want and a need..
this is the truth and honestly I am lost psychologically
there's a price for the time you waste
I'm paying for it with honesty
this world doesn't need another me
almost had a child but she lost the seed
I'm losing my soul, my body is for the world to keep.
I have lost my spirit, I needed someone to come and rescue me
I'll tell my reflection he can rest in peace.
There’s a certain heaviness to it,
the inherent darkness in a silent room,
damn near oppressive,
almost as if it’s crawling into you,
Then you remember her,
half curled on your chest, cradled in the nook of your arm,
wrapped around you.
A thin smile,
just barely exposing her thin, top row of teeth.
A faint glimmer in the inky blackness around you,
She looks up at you.
It’s an extreme cliché,
to call eyes a window to the soul,
but it’s fitting.
You look down at her and meet her eyes.
that childlike joy, curiosity mixed with tempered wisdom beyond her years,
all coalescing into beautiful, amber eyes,
makes that darkness feel a bit less heavy.
You see the corner of her lip trapped between her teeth,
thinking on what to say.
You’re doing the same.
Whatever words are spoken next decide an uncertain future,
a tipping point.
“I think I’m falling for you.” You want to say,
but you stay silent,
“I’m sorry,” she says almost mournfully.
That darkness comes creeping back,
weighing on you,
on your heart,
and it breaks you.
You like to think she heard it,
that breaking of hearts,
that she understands.
But she still lays there,
who are unfeeling and alone.
She loves others too much because
She loves herself too little
She cares way too much because
She thinks they couldn't care less
She cries over their joy because
She has none of her own
She sees beauty in everything because
She sees none in herself
She gives everyone her heart because
No person has given her their's
She gives away her love because
She keeps none for herself
She tells them they're needed because
She feels that she's not
She mends other's souls because
Her's is already in a knot
She's supports everyone because
She can't support herself
She saves the dying ones because
She's already dead inside
She helps people up because
She's already down
She helps others understand because
She does not know herself
She helps the tired find rest because
She cannot sleep at night
She says "have sweet dreams" because
She has none of her own
She pulls them out of the dark
Because that is her home.
Running through this city
Looking for a shelter
In someone's arms.
Trying to escape from this maze
From those hideous, scared forms
They see in the mirrors at the stores.
Running from themselves
Escaping from reality
In a illusion of happiness
They always try to reach.
Navegating through the darkness
While they try to find
Any sigh of light
Even in somebody's eyes.
Day burns down to night,
Burns the edge of my soul.
In the night I break into sparks of suns
and become fires in a dust of bones.
Night knifes. My breath swallows whole my tongue.
Turn back Reverse return,
In the night I see the real,
Concealed in the day's bright lie.
Eyes stitched shut. White teeth smile.
Sleep walk...s and talks
And feet mark time of day
[From the movie, 'The Invisible']
When my joy is lost, I smile because life has a lost and found.
When the power goes out, I smile because it's an adventure.
When I almost crash my car, I smile because it was just an almost.
When thunder crashes and I'm petrified with childhood fears, I hold my blankets tight and I am thankful the thunder is only a natural occurrence and not bombs crashing on my house.
When I get 2 hours of sleep because nightmares kept me awake, I laugh because I can always sleep another time.
When I forget what hope is, I smile because it's woven into my being so tightly that I can always feel it, even if I've forgotten what it is.
When I can't breathe and my world is spinning, I smile because I know I haven't died yet.
When I can no longer get out of bed because I am so sore from the pain of life, I smile because being late to school isn't the worst thing that can happen.
When everything is lost, I smile because I am lost too.
Demons in the night
Scaring you to the bone
Taking away the light
Forcing you to be alone
Praying on their victims
Who were peacefully sleeping
Leaving them sicken
And no longer in dreamland
A fire is crackling
The flames dancing
Your bravery is melting
You are alone
No longer able to remember
Your body is on autopilot
Hope is a fleeting ember
Fading away into the night