When what we see is real,
We sculpt perfection

Refined chimeras,  
Hunt us by night,

Masked behind shadows,
Of trees along the road to a cemetery

The lady in a white dress,
Bare feet, boiling skin

Her long dark hair
Slutty all over her face

And a butcher's knife,
Shining under a moonlight

That is not blood, right?
And why is she walking this way?

Am awake

A tapestry of mosaics,
Of Autumn leaves,

Floating down calm waters
rays of a morning sun

The lady in a black dress,
Out the river of youth

Her crystal skin,
With a radiant smile

Colourful eyes,
And wet golden hair,

Down her shoulders,
With splashing waters

As she walks towards me,
And lo,

Am awake,
This time,

For real
Am I happy or sad?

#dreams   #dark   #gothic   #nature   #beauty   #fantasy   #horror   #nightmares  
Mar 17

i think i see you in my nightmares. my therapist says i am insane. i say it is the heartache.

for once i wish to forget what it feels like to be forgotten, even if it means forgetting you. i wish i hated you while you loved me, so then i will know how it feels to be forgotten by me like i have been forgotten by you.

i scatter myself into piece like broken mirrors at my feet because it is better to be broken than to let them see me bleed. i tape myself back together and hope that they will never know what i have done.

i want to rip out my fucking hair because you are the reason i can’t breathe but you are also my air.

i hope you drown, sink to the ocean floor and let the fish swim among your bones.

it doesn’t matter if you stay or go. i promise this, i will still see you in my nightmares.

about nothing in particular
#wolf   #ocean   #nightmares  
Mar 20

I don't need to look into a mirror to see that I'm turning into you.
I already know that I am slowly deteriorating.
Nightmares plague me,
So horrible I am trembling and barely breathing when I wake.
There isn't a single person who makes me feel safe.
You always told me you were wary of everyone.
Including yourself.
The words that fall from my lips are formal, protected, carefully calculated.
My words sound like their coming from your mouth,
Like you have possessed me and will never let me free.
The wanderlust is the most painful.
I'm pulled by the sharp knife twisted into my gut.
Wanderlust makes me reckless. Wanderlust slowly kills me.
Tell me, darling,
Am I haunting you like you're haunting me?
The further we are apart, the more we see we are alike.
Before too long you'll look in the mirror.
You'll see my face instead of your own.

This poem doesn't flow the way I want it to. I can't seem to fix it.
Mar 14

if he is such an angel
then why do i see him
in my nightmares?

i know he rules over
sweet dreams and
fantasies, but he is
not in my dreams.
only in my memories.

so the moon rises
another night,
and i say to him,
hello there,
the angel from
my nightmares.

this is the eclipse

i don’t want you here
i want you gone
once i wrote of demons in mirrors
and i called them myself
but trading stares with that same pair of eyes
i should have looked past
to the monsters behind the iris
and above the neck

#in   #demons   #mental   #nightmare   #my   #head   #health   #voices   #nightmares   #trauma  

I step foot in the lobby
i was just in my bed
Moon ascended up high
devils touching my head
I was sleeping in sweats
but in here im well dressed ;
Shit is awfully odd
everyone looks at peace
All awaiting the call
to descend to the beast
Elevator comes down
people cramming inside
Some were not dressed as nice
and the doorman aint right ;
I think now i remember
i had wished death upon me ;
Sorry satan you mistaken i was speaking to Kami
try to leave from this place
I dont know how i came
elevator comes down
In my mind pouring rain ;
i get shoved in the box
Hits the bottom in seconds
as the doors open wide
sort of struggling in shock
i had shut both my eyes ;
when i opened them wide
I was still in my bed
sun ascended up high
Devils touching my head

Demmi Joe
Feb 26

I dream of a lot of scary things
I dream about being chased by murderers
and being haunted by ghosts.
One time I dreamt about us
and what couldv’e been
if only we had been stronger
and if only we had trust.
It was the scariest dream of all


In the darkest of nights I see you,
You are watching me, what should I do?
Are you looking for light,
Or simply keeping out of sight?
You are my shadow when there is no sun,
The reason why I up and run.
I could easily drown within your dark,
It’s exactly how you make your mark.
Restless sleep of nightmares awake,
There’s only so much that you can take.
The world may be yours through your eyes,
But eventually your darkness always dies.
Am I scared of you, because you’re strong?
No I am not, because I know you’re wrong.
Never again will you frighten your prey,
And that is all I have to ever say.

Perish forever sweet nigh'mares.

When my joy is lost, I smile because life has a lost and found.
When the power goes out, I smile because it's an adventure.
When I almost crash my car, I smile because it was just an almost.
When thunder crashes and I'm petrified with childhood fears, I hold my blankets tight and I am thankful the thunder is only a natural occurrence and not bombs crashing on my house.
When I get 2 hours of sleep because nightmares kept me awake, I laugh because I can always sleep another time.
When I forget what hope is, I smile because it's woven into my being so tightly that I can always feel it, even if I've forgotten what it is.
When I can't breathe and my world is spinning, I smile because I know I haven't died yet.
When I can no longer get out of bed because I am so sore from the pain of life, I smile because being late to school isn't the worst thing that can happen.
When everything is lost, I smile because I am lost too.

#pain   #sadness   #hope   #lost   #smile   #darkness   #optimism   #storms   #nightmares  

Dear Heart breaker,


I want to ask you
I have wanted to hear it from you
Who do I belong to?

Are you hopping around telling others;
"I do not know which of these lads, she belongs to"
when you, of all, clearly do

Nightmares haunt me by the clock.

Why deny me? Why give people the idea that I, am a bastard's daughter?

You have called me by many names, improper as they are meaningless. Hurt me too many times and then said "A child can never unlove a mother. She will always be perfection in her child's eyes"

Which is darn true...
So why did you?

I have to know Ma...
Why hurt me...
when you know already...
that I will always love you?

That I will always wish you back, for us to be together again, like old times. Why hurt me with all these lies and unforgivable gestures when you know that...
                            hating you
                                               hurts me more
                                                                         hurting you
                                                                                             kills me too

         Why hate me Mom?
                                           What have I done?
                                                                            Please give me answers.

         I know you always have them when it comes to me.

(C) StartOfMyEnd Jade.A
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