I think it was that moment
between the look and the kiss
that triggered the highlight reel
of a thousand seconds
broken up between some years,
filtered through a kaleidoscope,
vaguely narrating familiar tales of one
of the world's strangest phenomenons
by language of wet mouths,
pools of dead stars swallowing our irises,
and the sensations left behind from
the brushing of hands so subtle,
you could never tell whether it really happened,
or if it was just the anticipation;
and I guess the best excuse I got
for why I can't remember any of it,
is because I never really forgot about it.
Ihadurca/Ihadulca Il Imella is the main antagonist of the 1999 PlayStation game, Evil Zone, an all-time favorite of mine to this day. Episode 9 in her story-arc was titled "Memory is Like a Kaleidoscope", and it was always something that stuck with me as I grew up. Some years back, I started to really grasp on what it meant to me; how memories sometimes have this way of shifting every time you reflect on them as time passes.
You sometimes remember one detail, maybe forget another, but the feeling of the moment is always there, it just presents itself differently while essentially staying unchanged at its core. Much like how a kaleidoscope, as different as every shape is each time you peek in and turn or shake it, still uses the same beads and gems to make the shapes you see.
And well, that's kind of what it was like sharing that tender moment with that old flame last year, like observing a kaleidoscope of all the moments from six years ago, up to that night.
Some people settle
with comfort and
never grow to learn
with tired dim torches
afraid to run
in fear of losing
They are blind
to the knowledge that
their fire is fading
and soon will
There will come a time
when the dark envelopes the light
so don't be afraid to run
with your fire
for it may grow brighter
than you ever thought before
walk into the darkness
with their tired dim torches
without ever having known
They could have shined..
When I was eight.
I held a silver blade over my pale wrist.
But it told me to stop,
And so I slipped it away.
When I was fourteen.
I brought out that same blade,
Along with two others.
Silver, black, blue.
They told me to forget.
I hid them in the drawer of my wooden desk.
When I was eighteen.
Ready to end everything,
I brought out all five of them.
Silver, black, blue, white, green.
For all my deadly sins,
I deserved them.
Tears welled but were never shed.
They told me to rise up,
To continue to make memories.
Love has a due,
It fades without a clue,
On our way to endless love,
We stopped cause you feel numb,
You feel under and I'm Above,
I'm so insensitive I'm so dumb.
We had such a beautiful road together,
But we ended up in the last day of forever.
It's the purest pain I wonder,
To dis-remember all the things we gather.
Now I'm on the road back alone,
Thinking and seeing things that gone,
Why this things suddenly happen,
Why does it hurts again and again.
I stitched all the damage that I gained,
But the wound still get open,
Catching the rain of pain that hurts,
But still my heart is dry from thirst.
And now I'll be stopping this poem,
I should find my way back home,
I will forget all the pain on my own,
And come back here with a happy tone :D
I am drinking away your memory.
I sat outside your old window
The frosted glass
That made us feel
Like we were in our own
You and me
You were my addiction.
A force so powerful
Uprooting my breath from my lungs
I use cigarettes for that now
A nasty habit you were determined to kick
You've passed it along to me.
I am becoming addicted
To my own sadness
My own self pity
And every part of me is
But at least
I'm not crying anymore.
I am God
I AM WHO I AM
There are none like Me
The strength of My might is immeasurable
The breadth of My knowledge unknowable
My children I protect
My followers I love
None whom I take into My hand I forsake
Blessed are those, O Lord, who hear Your voice!
Be not absent from my mind!
But have patience and be of slow words
For Your servant, Lord, can only write haltingly
I give the dumb speech
To the blind I give sight
The deaf hear again with My touch
My children pass like breaths
But I am eternal
Speak to the God who listens
Oh merciful God, blessed be Your name!
Holy are You that takes the time to listen to my speech
My enemies are forfeit, my mockers destroyed
The God of Abraham, of Isaac, of Jacob, of Moses, of Noah
Graciously, mercifully listens to a babbler, a fool
Humble my heart O Lord
That my words might be pleasing to You
Listen to my prayer, O God
And hide Yourself not from my supplication!
Attend to me and answer me;
I am restless and distraught in my complaint
And must moan
Lord to Your servant David You would answer
Answer now my pleas, though my heart be crude and unfit
Lord do You see Your child?
He is tormented day and night by thoughts of You
Your hands molded him into being
His heart You placed in his chest and it was made to worship You
But he is attacked and harassed
Lord how he despairs so unjustly!
Deep into the mire has he sunk
He is trapped there in agony
And the prince of lies is his companion
Into his ears demons whisper day and night
Lord, do not abandon him!
You made him to love, to worship You!
His heart You love, his mind You made
What gifts You have blessed him with!
Then how now does he suffer?
Forsake me not, O Lord!
O my God, be not far from me!
Make haste to help me, O Lord! My salvation!
This heart bleeds and weeps at his suffering
In my insolence I thought it was I who could free him from his pain
But no, it is You!
God will you crush him too?
Destroy his oppressors and free his soul
He would worship and love You God, this I swear:
These eyes have seen, these ears have heard
All is in alignment, he is made to be your most devoted follower
Let him worship You Lord, for this is right
Forgive him his tresspasses, forgive him his sins
Let him not weep in despair
As he feels Your absence and is tortured still
Are You not his savior?
Are You not his redemption, his healer?
God, Your lover, Your bride weeps to see Your abandonment
She cries to see Your glory
Her pleading will never cease
Till Your mercy is shown
And he is freed from his suffering
And back into the tender care of Your loving arms
She will plead until You are glorified
And Your children love You as one
Hold back not Your glory
Love Your children
Forget them not in Your wrath, o Lord
May Your mercy come down like a cloud
And Your love as a rain
Amen and amen
Glory to You forever and ever, o God
Hello weary travelers .
to my living room
for in words
I have found life ...and purpose
in thought provoking
ego stroking words
that can if we're lucky
paint a thousand pictures
to hang proudly
along the walls
of any open mind.
as long as you like
come and go ...as you please
. The door has no lock
and there is always
fresh sweet tea for all
in the ice box .
My hope ...
is that my LIVING room
is where some will find
living ROOM inside themselves.
So please ...wipe your feet
Wipe your feet
you go outside. thanx.
None of us really Know--
One moment we're alive,
doing our routine, mundane orders
of this thing we call life
then moments later
our loved ones and others
are finding that suddenly
we are gone--
the vessel we used while here
but our spirits, our hearts, our minds
have moved on
anywhere that those left behind
can see or touch or physically feel--
and while we're busy finding love and acceptance
in our new and magnificent domain--
those left behind have to get on
with their daily lives once again
and try to fill the void that is left
where we once stood--
and even though they ache for us
and know we're doing good--
their hearts break just a little each day
as they realize that we truly have
gone far away--
yet, what a gift, a joy it would be
if only they knew that as long as they remember ME
I will always be ever near their hearts
and if they listen carefully
they'll hear me whisper my unending love
and know within their hearts that their new angel
is watching, still loving them from all around, and above...
©Pamela Rae 03.11.2017
(((hugs))) & ♥ to one and all here
and always wishes for good health and happiness and joy
to find each of you.
It's all a preparation for a blow you are intending on.
I've been sailing on high tides and land is near. Will you break the waves in halves or will you raise them to double their size?
Grow or destroy. That is the game. And you are unpredictable, like a sudden storm in the midst of March.
Unpredictable but Harmless.
Therefore, blow in my face spring's breeze. Let me close my eyes and feel your breath on my eyelashes.
I've forever told you you are beautiful, and you forever will be.
Hate. No. Love.
Repress. No. Express.
Forget. No. Remember.