Any romantic will tell you,
humans were made to love.*

For many years through dark eyes,
I seen the light of love.

Sweet nothings whispered in my ears,
I was told the secrets of love.

I inhaled and smelled
the sweetness of love.

We kissed and I savored
the flavor of love.

Only my heart could not feel.
So, I was unable to love.

Some days I feel so close
you feel like my skin.
Some days I feel so far
our distance will never end.

hugs, kisses, & kind words
don't reach your heart within.
I still try, aiming high despite
failing and missing over & again.

I apologize to my lovers & kin
sorry for now and back when,
I couldn't love you like I desired
because of this human sin.

My sleep warns me that I'm in trouble

but I wake up everyday like I'm fine

and everything is normal.

Can you
act out every word
you ever
promised
me?

What does one who care
really get?
Other than other people's burdens
amongst other sh*t!

seldoms rests

rarely is at peace.

my soul hardly ever sleeps.

But...

when it's quiet; I dream.

when it's noisey; I scream!

Guys are hot.
but std's burn,
and hell is scorching!

with sin,
I keep testing my father.

I fear one day

I'll ask for forgiveness,
& He won't bother.

As a child, I had it figured it out.
Until lust grew within me
Sin gave birth and *** came about.

Like a girl coming on her first menstuation,
blood on white sheets.
Or a boy having his first *******,
White fluid cream on dark sheets.

As an adult, I became impure.
Now, I know nothing.
Now, I am no longer sure.

Bad for my health
Worse for my recovery
I beg you, never let go of me.

The hold of black smoke
Smothers me. I choke
Release me. Heart trapped.

I promise not to relapse.

With every clumsy person who accidentally looked into my eyes.

With your cool sunglasses
And skinny pales *****
You sit behind the shade
Sour faces great for lemonade
And judge us all!

I fake drown to see your reaction
Off your high horse you fall
To my satisfaction, you're not a hero
And, to think people look up to you?
You're not even that tall!!

Drugs impair us
beyond repair
Lowly death
~Vs~ the highs of life
Does not compare
mind likes to travel
Body takes it there
remember this feeling
And for once in forever
Forget to care.

Only if love was limitless
Would I cross it's borders
Blurred lines of bliss
Chasing unicorns and rainbows
To taste your kiss.

In reality, it's you I miss
Instead I am a prisoner of fantasy
Enslaved to a restricted affair
If I escaped this world, would you still care?

In the next lifetime will you follow?
Could you want me there?
Because if it was up to me,
I'd Have you Any time. Any place. Anywhere.

Have you ever met a person
More broken than a million pieces?

I have, she's my mother.
Whom I love a billion reasons.

The boogeyman has a name
Indeed, he's real!
They call him Lust.
A haunting, I always feel.

One day I walked the long way home.

In the chill of October, all alone.
Tears had cooled, wind had blown.

Still, she knew something was wrong.
She asked, I answered. My hurt was known.

I saw his mugshot today, his soul was gone.

I look at my photos,
sometimes I see his face.

I close my eyes in fear,
Hoping to go to safer place.

There's no escaping those devilish eyes.
I've inherited this monster; soul ties.

No longer the drugs,
Or the boys.
Still however: lust & thrills of joy.

I have a new addiction.

One many can't see.
How do I rid this habit,
When it is me?

I am forever on the run...

After who I want to be...

and from who I've become...

sunset til' sunrise,

dusk til' dawn,

I run. I run and then some.

One day I looked in the mirror
And began to cry.

Not because I was ugly,
Neither because I was beautiful.

But, I seen a little girl
With the prettiest eyes
And the saddest smile.

Somewhere through her Hell
She managed to grow into me
Next to Heaven, it was the most amazing sight to see.

I break hearts by default.

I seek them. I find them. Devour them.

Then spit them out on paper.

I wipe my mouth, and roam cupids landing for more inspiration.

I'm forever this villain.

Accusations, I'm always facing.

I wonder is love
this volcanic eruption
of sensation in my lungs?
Butterflies falling to the pits
flying opposite of alive
drowning in my lava
so pretty when they die.

A passionate flame is born
sweeping them under like a raging storm
fire burning throughout my skin
sending ecstasy and shock waves within
if this is love, sweet God in Heaven
where has it been?

from dirt I come
whipped and cracked from the sun
rain flows and heals my wounds
when my fruit grows
I'll forget my troubles soon
still I love, still I rise,
giving blessings
to the the grass
I dry my own tears
and hide in my own fears.

nature is my mother
the moon is my brother
my father inhabits the sky
and he takes pleasure
in his little flower
that is me...
a brown rosebud
a baby from nothing
more than mud.

the darkest depths
and hell lows
we dangerously go
to be noticed
by the one we desire.

Some call it foolish,
or just plain crazy!
I just see it as a route
to the heart of the
one I admire.

I have so much to offer
inside of this prison
called a soul
how to get it out
is the mystery
I pry to know.

My angels
and demons
pull and strech
this skin,
their best efforts
to free me from within.

Sadly, the never win
they always lose
I choose to be free
but the power is not mine
it has never belonged to me.

Question,

what can make
such beautiful
souls corrupt?

Life answers.

You kissed me
and I caught a virus
called lust.
You ran through my
Fever aching head
causing a seizure
I awoke and you were dead.

I coughed up dust
and your power disappeared,
I panicked, I feared.
It was over, I knew.
I sneezed
and out
blew you.

The last supper
family, friends,
maybe lovers
gathered around
to pay last dues.

I watch from the corner
a smile on my face
nod my head
I miss you all too
but I am silent.

I am still,
I anxiously wait
as they pass around
my organs on a hefty platter
a genuis of a plate.

Finally able to pick my brain,
to feed my
hunger games,
and quench my
thirsty pains.

Life was hatred,
death was love
A mystery it truly was!
I sit with father
full with gladness
& glory from high above.

Love does
appear at first sight,
our eyes met
in the dark
at midnight.
your piercing window
ignited fire in my frozen soul
now your body,
your mind,
I wish to know.

is it bad
that I have more
lovers than
ex boyfriends?

is it bad
that I live right
love wrong
life of sin?

is it bad
that I want to smoother
you until you
can not breathe?

is it bad
if I ask you
to stay with me
and never leave?

is it bad
that I've wrote you this love letter
with the blood
I bleed?

is it bad
that you've judged me?
when it's really
help that I need!

She likes  the boys
& the boys like her.

She makes the dog growl
He makes the kitty purr!

Some call it mating
I call it an animal affair.

my lover asked a favor
I refused, his agony I savor

mouth drenched in gold
breathe ice cold

lips as gatekeepers
passion they hold

the power of a kiss
is a secret untold

never ask for what you want
Take it. Be bold!

I have missed
out on the thrills
of being a soft place
between a rock
and a hard place
which is a bad boy

I was afraid
of becoming a toy
a welcome mat,
stepped on repeatedly
covered in dirt
and worthlessness

because of fear
I found myself
held hostage to boring love
with good guys
who in the end
only proved
to be ugly lies

which led
to my beautiful cries
in the end,
I should have taken my chances
with the handsome devils
who were at least good at dancing!

to keep from going insane at times
I crawl back into my hard brown shell;
only there do I find peace
only then do I feel well.

She thought she was something

until she met a person

who made her something,

feel like nothing.

I recall a lover once
asking me to dance
I said no words
but I silently agreed.

they hesistated
I waited
lover smiled
I smirked
friends gathered
snickering and making lines
"so can you twerk?" one asked
"no, but I can slow wine"

at the moment I came alive
seducing them all
blowing their minds!

One day I fell from the sky
I survived
I did not die.
But when asked who I was
I responded "I'm a Angel"
It was a lie.

I
lost
my
love
when
he
found
my
heart

a good tear
is never wasted

it runs like a river
into a beaches ocean
where salty flavor is tasted.

a good tear
is never wasted

it drops to the ground
into a puddle of rain
brave reflections face it.

a good tear
is never wasted

it simply matures and moves on
making room for the other emotions
which have yet beautifully grown.
though they disappear
may their memories
forever be known!

he used me everyday
his favorite electric soul
power he did know
distance I did go...
abuse always did follow

one day he found me
drained, rusted,
& out of juice
our magnetic force
had finally come loose

he cried frantically
desperately fixing me up
with man made tools
It was simply to late
a dead lover was his fate

lucky he
able to revive me
with little life left
I vibrated with long pauses
I had to return with proper causes

told my boy, I'm no toy
now kiss my achy breaky heart
only then will I begin again,
only then will our love restart!