greedy eyes
never see enough
some call it beauty
others call it lust

greedy ego
can never boast enough
so many friends
very few to trust

greedy heart
can never love enough
giving it's goodness to all
even when it's tough

greedy spirit
can never have enough
complains at life, afraid to die;
it has to conquer more stuff!

Why try to belong
To something
You have never known?
Distant lands
Unwelcoming arms
I have gone.

hatred met
bitterness
darkness has grown.
Homeless in
a home is her
personal song
singing these truths
writing these wrongs.

Be yourself
Even if that person
Is a stranger
Not owning it
is a far more
Evil danger.

love does
not always
reciprocate
but never
replace it with
hate

I must learn closure
the correct way
so the next time I see
a person I've dismissed
they won't be bitter
they will  happily smile
and say "hey"
they will remind me
that I did exist to them,
then I can go about my day

for a brief
moment
a second of hope
a glimpse of happiness
life appears
simple, small, innocent,
& promising
like that of a child.
Then I grew up
and got lost
in it's
magnitute.

careful
what
you
look
for
you
may
just
find
it!

There is no feeling worse
than dying slowly
and being unable
to save yourself
no rescue, no help.

my soul cries aloud
screams stretch for miles
still no one hears
I'll eventually
drown in my tears.

because I was young
and beautiful
I thought I was
something;

boys lusted
girls admired
I had fun until
I grew tired

a wise old lady
with a smirk on her wrinkled face
pulled me aside
and put me in my place

she told me I was nothing without love
so I got out of her grandson's bed
to avoid tears;
I titled my head

when I came up there it was;
hoovering above
I realized, everything is nothing
until it finds love.

I hope she's happy
because I was not.

I hope she's honest
because I was not.

I hope she's sincere
because I was not.

I hope he understands her
I hope he respects her

I hope he values her
I hope he loves her

because he was unable
to do these things for me

three years of nothing
I sacrificed everything!

It takes two
to make a wrong.

but she has you
and I'm alone.

he left me
moved right along.

As a woman.
As an African American.
As a poet.
I can only hope to be,
As close as a
phenomenal
woman as she!

better he that is dead
than he alive
said someone
who still lives
said someone
who lies.

Rest in peace
is all I can say
as I attempt
to live better
if granted another
day.

I stood in line
for 23 years
waiting for love
once it was my turn
my palms began to burn.


rolling his eyes, as If I were late
cupid told me I had to wait,
that I would have my chance.
Then he hurried off
doing the ***** dance.

Like love, cupid has sh**ted on me!

I went to the store today
attempting to purchase
a clean mind
and a pure heart.
The cashier told me
"sorry we're out"
but was kind enough
to offer me a freebie
called a fresh start.

not sure if I am cold
like they believe
or simply numb,
from being treated coldly
for so **** long.

a pretty girl whose smile
is always in rare form
spectators judge
others intriqued
with the quiet storm.

"knock knock,
is anybody home?"
I AM HERE,
but my emotions
are long gone.

Life is a indescribable genre
like fiction which is full of lies
Or nonfiction which is true
As a poet, I understand this too
Still my eloquent heart refuses
To write about any topic
Other than you...

maybe we were never meant to be.

maybe you did once love me.

it's that 50% chance

of uncertainity

that fail my relationships

Miserably.

life is never as bad as it
seems.
suffering has not been
seen.
until one has experienced hell
overseas.

bathe me
since you long for intimacy
I'm here baby,
still you do not see

caress this skin
forgive this sin
give me passion
if you can

tell me I'm beautiful
if you dare
"look at me" said the mirror
I know you care!

turn off the lights
relax, don't fight
*and make love to
your body tonight

I have always been called
a natural beauty
never seen the purpose
to cover my flaws
here I AM
imperfections and ALL.
I wear it well too........
all except this painted smile
Oh ...............yes................I forgot...........about................you

I only wish
I would have kissed you.
Nothing like the little regrets
over little things
we were not brave enough to do.

On the hunt for love
i nearly died
i became precious prey
to violent predators
with my body
they had their way.

I slipped
through the grips
of fierce savages
but I did not escape
their attacks unscratched
burdens and battle wounds
now cover my back.

Still, I wiped my tears
and nurtured my burns
from the wild fire I grew
hard lessons i learned
back then I had faith
but unbelief happenened
and hate became my fate.

will always be in love
with what was...

the memory
of what we could be...

I, wanting you
you needing me....

i can not understand why things won't last
i can not let go of the hold that is my past

because I looked
for love in all the wrong places
I found you.

because I was decieved
by handsome faces
I saw you.

because he broke
my heart
in two,

with a smile
kind words
and hugs as glue,

you put me back together
but I'm forever clumsy
because I fell for you.

I close my eyes
to imagine love
and ex boyfriends appear
in my head
a little piece of lust
made up of gifts,
laughter,
time wasted,
and meaningless ***
is all I have to offer
at my very best.

every time you leave me
I think I love you less

this neglect has caused me
devlopmental stress.

every time you stray
my heart screams please stay!

But you never listen
I never get my way.

anxiety makes me want to cry
fear of someone harming you

distrust proudly says hello
as you happily say goodbye.

at least you always come back
like you promise...

but one day, you'll lie
worse case scenario, you'll die.

when my words are lost
like my weary soul
with nothing left to say
I part my lips
and pray!

Born to this life
naked, afraid, and shamed
will I ever know death
by any other name?
Besides being buried in the ground
with the same dirt
which I first came

as
days
       come to a close.
dreams
       prepare
to
      die.

i can taste your skin
although I've never had the pleasure
i've worshipped you
as an antique treasure

the wind teases me
with whiffs of your scent
savoring in this goodness
assures me this was meant

a heavenly body
laying besides mine
glistening gold
from citrus sunshsine

i can feel you here
although you are gone
never tell the secrets
which inhabit my home

I AM
just a poet.
young
naive
anxious
sensitive
fearful
and beautifully
uneducated.
Yet, eloquent
with words
as art.
Writing is the
red blood
which pumps through
my black heart.
So presumptuous *******,
before you judge me
have mercy
and remember
**"she is only but a ******* poet"

weekends are made of
passion,
pleasure,
and pain.

passion makes us do things
like fall in love with strangers
on a two day binge
doing unspeakable things
to one another
making our bodies cringe
moments of pleasure
we'll both soon forget
but living fast is fun
the best time spent!

Monday always forbids us
introducing the heartbreak game
you used my body
and I forgot your name

weekends are simply a fantasy
with their share of pain
"it was nice knowing you,
glad you came."

adore my beauty
before it grows old
look into my eyes
before they grow cold
undress your body
before I go blind
tell me you love me
without lying
kiss my lips
before they go dry
give me a reason to live
**before I die

exhausted with crying
obsessive thoughts of dying
these tears
will eventually
run my soul dry
in this drought called life
I am destined to die

If I had a dad
he would be
Langston Hughes.

Jazz, daughter of
Mr. handsome blues
or Sir mulatto smooth.

heads would turn
as I stroll
the streets
looking pretty
while dancing
with the winds beats.

at sunset we would meet
laugh and retreat
cool us, in the heat.

Rhyming,
Singing,
and tapping our
Happy feets!

LOVE is
priceless.
pennies are worth less
he said believe
have faith
so waters I will test.

a wish
so very close
grant me this favor
I need it the most.
my last penny is worth a try
grant me this feeling
before I die.

LOVE

the eve of evil
anguish anniversary
my sins remembered.
tossed and tormented
across the night
when will I win
this bitter fight?
may and june
comes too soon
during these times;
I cry to the moon
keep your madness
heal this loon!

what to do when your body starts to tingle?

take a cold shower.
turn on the fan.
drink some water.
turn off the R&B;
blow out the scented
incense.
look around and it will all start to make sense...

*" what to do when my body starts to tingle?"

place a pillow between your burning thighs and remember that you are single!

somtimes shy.
beautiful people make me weird;
the reasons why.

Poets!
People!
Is love the only topic
we know?
.....geez....

I became a statistic
and
it made me sick.
**(*****)

afraid to look into your eyes
I might just see your soul
afraid of intimacy
my secrets you will know

either way

something will happen
that was not intended
love is blind;
so don't be offended

I always
fall in love,
when I'm not
trapped
in lust.
once I break free
I'm reminded
of the deep, black, cold, and captivating hole
that is me.

tears begin to swell
as I look at the picture
of an innocent small gal.
sadness of the eyes
life in her smile.

"What an angel. Wow!"

"but she's dead now..."

shake my head  "how?"

little girl
I love you
and you should know
I will follow closely,
wherever you go.

I caress my scars*
and remember back afar....*
attacked in a fight
came out bloodied and bruised
I deserved that much
because him, I used.

attacked in battle
a piece of my soul I lost
sold good deeds to satan
death was surely the cost.

attacked in love
I could have died
instead I prayed
held my head above
tears of blood I cried.

I made a vow between
Him, this body, and myself
a piece of dignity I had left
broken, *****, and very low
"Lord, to the devils playground
will I never again go."

smiles
reality
I sometimes fake.

sleep
death
always late.

hurt soul
her soul
he's pleased to take.

one of these
mornings
I won't awake.

if so...

my soul.
my soul.
please do take!

to heaven
to paradise
I hope to make.

looking in the mirror
waiting for bruises to appear
asking myself
"How did I get here?"

never been the one
to afflict pain upon myself.

but I have caused to much harm
I am no longer a help
I too, may as well hurt.

what if
life is one sick game?
if I lose
my mind
the rules
and players
are to blame!