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Nov 2022 · 595
urban explorers
Nigdaw Nov 2022
I watch the rat boys
trip the light fantastic
across once well manicured floors
of forests of wood and panel
lined walls graffitied with
the signature **** and *****
language that would not
have been tolerated in such
hallowed halls, falls easily
from lips accented with Yorkshire drawl
appreciating architecture they can
(like the rest of us)
only dream could be their pad
their crib, their humble abode
with a taste for the gothic
or art nouveau
they are lookers, explorers
nosey little toads fuelled by
an unquenchable curiosity
to see what's behind that fence
that hedge or garden wall
if you find them in your house
you are a ghost, for they hunger
only for the derelict, the abandoned
time stopped in a moment preserved
About a group of urban explorers who I enjoy watching on You Tube.
Oct 2022 · 294
catching the light
Nigdaw Oct 2022
slowly I process them
like tracks on a record
giving nature a helping hand
to enhance the music of light
and as I sit and look at them
they sing to me of memories
of Welsh hills lit by God
brought home as a moment
I can play over and over
until they become the soundtrack
that always makes me feel
I'm alive
Oct 2022 · 1.5k
sculptor
Nigdaw Oct 2022
a sculptor
I chip away
making some form
from time
changing shape
then direction
sometimes the hero
others the villain
whatever it is
I leave behind
I know for sure
will never be finished
Oct 2022 · 1.4k
close
Nigdaw Oct 2022
close
like next to me
emotionally touching
I love you
close
like a door
slammed on an argument
a last word
finishing a relationship
ending a meeting
how funny the English language
so much room for misinterpretation
so much scope for joy
or crashing
disappointment
Oct 2022 · 1.3k
my ship
Nigdaw Oct 2022
my ship has sailed
I waited all my ****** life
for it to come in
and now I turn round
it's on the ****** horizon
heading into the metaphorical sunset
admittedly it was only a metaphorical ship
anyway
but none the less
I've missed it
Sep 2022 · 371
rejection slip
Nigdaw Sep 2022
"I cannot help you
with this publication"
it said
a closed door
a full stop
even an exclamation mark
you are swimming with the sharks
trying to run
with the wrong pack
basically you're a loser
your work just doesn't cut it
I recede back into
my protective shell of defeat
enclosing me
with the force field
of self denial and hate
here I am safe
nowhere to go but down
failure such an easy road
I travel with the crowd
all rejects of the elite
unwelcome in their kingdom
worse than unbelievers
we are the unbelieved in
Aug 2022 · 2.0k
police helicopter
Nigdaw Aug 2022
the clatter of machinery
invades my bedroom
as rotors defeat gravity
for as long as fuel allows
someone's on the run
headed for the woods
at the back of my house
why do they think the
darkness of trees and
undergrowth will hide
them from infrared's
all seeing eye, their
journey to freedom
is about to end dramatically
under spotlight
I've got to get up for work
in under four hours
Aug 2022 · 986
the dive
Nigdaw Aug 2022
I envy you
your suppleness of body
tuned muscular perfection
poised between
a creature of land
and a creature of water
shimmering with almost naked
beauty, you dive a perfect ten
into my imagination
Jul 2022 · 935
black leather soul
Nigdaw Jul 2022
I left my soul here somewhere
have you seen it?
black leather cover
some blank pages
but most scribbled
with illegible fountain pen ink
a desperate hand
searching for meaning out
of the darkness of light
it's not that important really
I just can't live without it
Jul 2022 · 1.2k
slugabed
Nigdaw Jul 2022
I never felt a part of it
had a plan of how to spend
this gift of 24 hours
so if it's ok
I'll leave the curtains drawn
and sleep on into the afternoon
let me know
if this is likely to happen again
Jun 2022 · 4.4k
Sunset
Nigdaw Jun 2022
bathed in light
I can almost touch
it feels alive around me
enveloping
I feel my ancestors fear
and respect
as I capture it
on digital SD card
Jun 2022 · 1.4k
song
Nigdaw Jun 2022
she’ll turn into her mother
one day
you can see it in her eyes
hear it in her sighs

so let’s lie in each other’s arms
and forget about the world
not worry about children
or names or gender
not worry about mortgages
on our dream castle
holidays we can’t afford
friends
who aren’t really friends
relatives
we only talk to
because they are relatives

hostile family gatherings

this is the melody of love
a song sung only once
until it’s a
slightly remembered tune
we can only just about hum
Jun 2022 · 584
crash test dummy
Nigdaw Jun 2022
I wield this body like a weapon
crash test dummy on a suicide mission
all journey and no destination
pulling fuses while the car is in motion
bodywork beat up but engine still functions
travelled to the moon and back
in miles but not realization
put here on this torture track
an illusion of freedom mixed with
fear and excitement
the windshield has gone
and the seatbelt is broken
May 2022 · 148
the view
Nigdaw May 2022
the view from here is astounding
I can see lives stretching to the horizon
trapped in metal boxes in queues
saving time in luxury leather lined
vehicles each as individually angry
as the next person they’ll never know
or attempt to speak to in their life
but will gesticulate to in their ire
cut up at another set of lights
all set to go red on their way to

their boxes full of possessions
that make them unique all
bought off Amazon or similar sites
tasteful bespoke mass produced
obsolescence built in high tech
that they will never fully understand
having never read the instructions,
lined up one after the other like
soldiers or arranged in some
semblance of randomness that
makes as much use of real estate
as law and profit will allow

they will all spend their lives
trying to escape on holidays
to un-spoilt golden beaches
where concrete hotels are built
to accommodate their dreams
with a view of some sand full of
lobster red beer swilling, fish and chip eating
homesick people who wonder
why the local population can’t speak
their language or understand their
culture, lie in rows of individually
claimed real estate with towels
marking their little piece of paradise

none of them can understand why
I jumped, fell, ended my life
I must have issues of mental health
to even contemplate a way out
of this wonderful world we created
that takes us our whole existence
to earn enough to in the end pay
for, yet here I am ironically standing
on the balcony of a luxury apartment
complex built for modern families
who are looking for the best in life
my end manufactured for me from the
same concrete and glass paradise is made
from, tomorrow they will put up netting
to stop anyone else from escaping
May 2022 · 1.2k
Leonardo and the biscuit
Nigdaw May 2022
she has produced a biscuit
that claims a Mona Lisa likeness
confectionary imbued with worth
far beyond a humble foodstuff
to be digested by a sweet tooth
novelty birthday gift consumed
likeness acknowledged in a minute
taste appreciated in seconds
party over

Leonardo lived with her as a mistress
never parting with his commission
of a merchant’s daughter
perfecting every stroke and nuance
haunted by that beguiling smile
she had him in her clutches forever
now the world lives for the minute
appreciates in seconds and moves on
there are no more banquets
just mere morsels
May 2022 · 394
pigeons
Nigdaw May 2022
take up valuable real estate
live in their own ****
birthing in their own faeces
we call them vermin
and hate them
because they are so much like us
May 2022 · 2.2k
skull
Nigdaw May 2022
I see your inside outside
smiling at me
topography of your personality
May 2022 · 2.9k
nicotine
Nigdaw May 2022
I smell on your clothes
the reek of addiction
yellowed fingers betray
your burning passion
May 2022 · 552
we just don't
Nigdaw May 2022
we don't share saliva anymore
tongues fighting in a mouth arena
we don't lie in our sweat anymore
our battle won ****** achieved
we don't stare those stares anymore
the ones that look into the soul

I know you and you know me
is that the end of the story
or is there more to tell
May 2022 · 723
devolution
Nigdaw May 2022
a fish was attracted to land
went to the trouble to grow
lungs, crawl panting on a sandy
beach, to use newly developed feet
so we could follow our own journey
back to foamy shores
to look out at our old home
on holidays and weekends
wondering why we bothered
to leave in the first place
Apr 2022 · 968
pen and ink
Nigdaw Apr 2022
she bought me more pens
from zoos and amusement
parks than I’ll ever need
for miles of thoughts
I’ve no time to travel
envisaged a desert of
white paper waiting
for the sky to rain
words turned to pros
and verse, you are a
writer dad she said
in need of inspiration
and this is all I have
to give your fertile mind
but she is wrong so wrong
my inspiration is her
my reason to carry on
belief in what I do
all the ink in the world
could not express just
how much I love her
Apr 2022 · 1.3k
mirage
Nigdaw Apr 2022
if you live in a desert
any mirage is beautiful
even knowing it as an illusion
making plans around
how it will change your life
make you happier
than you have ever been
when you arrive
it dissipates
so you can start looking
for the next one
Apr 2022 · 676
dark clouds
Nigdaw Apr 2022
she wants to find the
source of my unhappiness
as though it is a thing
we can search for like
a talisman and destroy

she wants to find the
source of my unhappiness
as though it’s a place
we can move from and
just not go there anymore

not even I understand
why it is I feel so sad
among my loved ones
my tribe, but every new
day there is always rain
Apr 2022 · 524
manipulation
Nigdaw Apr 2022
she is nice because
of some new desire
making him drinks
a nice lunch...

he's made her tea
in bed every morning
for years, simply
out of love for her
Apr 2022 · 812
creator
Nigdaw Apr 2022
Geppetto didn't make me
God did
no matter how broken I am
he's not fixing me
any time soon
and I never was a real boy
Apr 2022 · 801
question
Nigdaw Apr 2022
you had so much clay
to mould into
the perfect shape of existence
why did you punish so many
on their road to Damascus
Apr 2022 · 1.8k
Skid Row
Nigdaw Apr 2022
if ever you wondered what purgatory
looked like, it's here
whatever these poor ******* did
they have paid
in spades
here on forgotten streets
among the flotsam and jetsam
drifting
from the higher echelons of society
this is Skid Row
the lowest you can go
doorway to hell
Skid Row is everywhere
Apr 2022 · 933
birth
Nigdaw Apr 2022
I occupy this space
unconquered
unclaimed
just a matter of existence

this is where I shall begin
in this pool of life
displaced by so many others
until it is overflowing

I am beyond the gates of birth
released to a wild horizon
don't tame me
I'm exactly who I should be
Apr 2022 · 811
argument
Nigdaw Apr 2022
the dark brooding cloud
that hangs some way off
is the distance between us
supercell of anxiety
will it rain or just
dissipate
is the thunder threatening
or just the rumblings
of a fresh summer storm
after a heatwave

we both look at the forecast
for tomorrow
and with heavy hearts
see what the long range
predictions are
there may be some
patches of sunshine
in moments when we forgive and forget
the odd warm day
here and there
but we both know
winter is coming
and snow is on the horizon
Apr 2022 · 673
you can read me like a book
Nigdaw Apr 2022
you can see the forward
in my eyes
skin lined with the people
to so far thank for the ride
if you delve into the chapters
there's a need to sit down
this is no fiction nobody's clown
the story will end
right in front of your eyes
where I am standing
without my disguise
Not specifically about me, I just feel there is so much more to people, never judge a book by it's cover.
Apr 2022 · 854
apology
Nigdaw Apr 2022
I am sorry for the intermission
in your life that was me
do not adjust your set
normal service will be resumed
shortly
Apr 2022 · 426
death of an icon
Nigdaw Apr 2022
they reported my passing on Facebook
all most people could manage
was a sad emoji
Mar 2022 · 1.3k
taking the underground
Nigdaw Mar 2022
so the day is going well
which is never a good sign
time ticking past somnambulantly
inducing a soporific state
I find hard to shake
with rocking carriages
as I traverse to my travail
through millennia of archaeology
passing long extinct dinosaurs
turning magically to crude oil
Roman armies with Gladius drawn
ready for action two thousand
years on, still trying to conquer
the unconquerable realm
then an eco-warrior
of shabby description
yells my carbon footprint
is an abominable *******
it’s an electric train I holler
how much greener can I be fella
the Romans are looking friendlier
by the minute they only wanted
my freedom not justification of existence
the soporific state abates
the modern world is against me
now I’m running late
Mar 2022 · 780
abstract poetry
Nigdaw Mar 2022
your metre blackens the page
beautifully dancing fonts
caress the delicate surface
like skaters tracing their dance
across the ice in blades

an expression of genius perhaps

your gorgeous muse laughs
joyously titillating imagination
positively prostituting herself
to your phallus stylus *******
your fertile imagination
spawning verse birthing phrase

and I don’t understand
a single ******* thing you said
Mar 2022 · 577
censorship
Nigdaw Mar 2022
what is worse
a picture of a *****
or a picture of a gun
for some reason
we have it in our heads
a **** is wrong
but somewhere someone
is thinking how cool
it would be to shoot someone
Censorship wants to protect children on the internet from seeing pornographic images, guns war and death are acceptable though, even on the evening news.
Mar 2022 · 2.0k
arachnid
Nigdaw Mar 2022
he runs across the floor
eight legged little beastie
one of nature's nightmare tools
a necessary evil, clean-up module
I leave him alone, as much right as I
to this lonely landing in moonlight
Mar 2022 · 382
Ukraine
Nigdaw Mar 2022
Until the knife is removed
the wound will never heal
Feb 2022 · 2.7k
wishing I still smoked
Nigdaw Feb 2022
I wish I still smoked
**** yeah
It's the ritual
the need to make time
to die a little
opening a new pack
shiny cellophane
the lid flipped back
paper seal for freshness
pulled out to reveal
20 happy moments spent
inhaling, coughing, thinking
the soft packets
where you flicked the
cigarettes out like movie
stars and the Marlboro man
who are all dead now
roll ups, kit form bronchitis
liquorice flavour papers
combining childhood flavours
with adult life takers
the smell clinging to clothes
and hair dragon breath
but we all looked so ****** cool
so adult so grown up
so ****** clueless, *******
on our manly pacifiers
I wish I still smoked
**** yeah
just don't have the courage
some how
Feb 2022 · 733
prayer
Nigdaw Feb 2022
I offer my prayer
to the ancient Gods
of sun and wind and rain
for they are the only ones left
when all the others have failed
Feb 2022 · 1.3k
stolen moment
Nigdaw Feb 2022
they are all asleep
and I sneak under cover
of the lateness of the hour
to the comfort of my words
scrawled across a page in ink
from the nib of a fountain pen
they search for a target
I'll never achieve
on a journey through my head
reaching for perfection
I am tired by a world
always demanding more
than I'm prepared to give
always asking for more
than I could possibly have
but this moment is at least mine
stolen from the clock of life
Feb 2022 · 1.5k
anonymous
Nigdaw Feb 2022
I like that you don’t know my name
this dangerous liaison
smacks of a suicide mission
in this day and age
flying solo in the erotisphere
carries all kinds of penalties
especially with broken wings
that have left me unable to soar
crawling like a serpent
banished from Eden’s beauty
for all the sins I have performed
no resistance to temptation
always accepting any fruit proffered
by shadows that pass through the night
the rings getting darker under eyes
that have seen too much bed
and not enough honest rest
too much passion with no feeling
blank faces and sweated screaming
I like that you don’t know my name
so you won’t judge me far less trace me
for my part I promise to never call again
Feb 2022 · 627
psychic
Nigdaw Feb 2022
you dream the dream
of what's in their head
lost to the living
sacrificed to the dead
spirits rise within you
Ouija magic Ouija curse
they walk among us
hidden faces a veiled darkness
they walk among us
secrets half learnt
Nigdaw Feb 2022
Incubus Drive
is when me and the neighbours fall out
it's not just the volume
furniture moving bass
but I have to sing
full shout
I know all the words
you see
cos I played it
so many ******* times
it's ingrained on my beer brain
all my inhibitions
blown out
I'm on stage
in front of the microphone
air guitar
I'm no Brandon Boyd
but by Christ I'm on fire tonight
Feb 2022 · 119
castaway
Nigdaw Feb 2022
ideas trickle from my subconscious
with nothing to catch them
but a fountain pen
and notebook lined paper

they pool into an existence
like a small tide over which
I have no dominion whatsoever
spreading across the page

small seas of myself
without a moon to control them
slosh about until they somehow
make sense of each thought wave

then they begin their ebb and flow
haunting me with their sound
as they crash on an empty shore
where I'm a castaway of my words
Feb 2022 · 1.8k
makeup morning
Nigdaw Feb 2022
the cracks in the mirror
start to show
makeup morning
                              clown
becomes the show
unrecognisable face
made up to be
someone you know
still laughing
just not sure at what anymore
Feb 2022 · 1.8k
facial recognition
Nigdaw Feb 2022
there are days
when even your own phone
doesn't recognise you

stranger face

it's when you find out
who your real friends are

the ones who make an effort
to talk to you
Jan 2022 · 833
two wheeled demons
Nigdaw Jan 2022
I love the two wheeled demons
they are in my soul waiting
to let fly
all my inhibitions
I have studied them
coveted them
but the courage to be free
defeats me
as I see the smiling face of death
on the first hairpin bend
Jan 2022 · 938
addiction
Nigdaw Jan 2022
I set this train a' rolling
down tracks with no stations
knowing a wreck inevitable
of this wild and ridiculous ride
wind in my hair taut expression
flesh stretched across a face
expecting the outcome
Jan 2022 · 995
exhaust
Nigdaw Jan 2022
a kid
with the throaty sound
of a tuned engine underfoot
cuts through my sleep
deprived eardrums
an almost tuneful exhaust note
rasps under acceleration
rippling night air outside
God I wish I was young again
when that sound alone
under my command
made me feel alive
Jan 2022 · 943
destiny my home
Nigdaw Jan 2022
falling falling
through space
that is only mine
this is my tragedy
you're not welcome here
the husk of my life
thrown to the wind
wherever I land
is where fate intended
me to be
take your understanding
your emotions are your own
I am falling falling
destiny my home
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