So much locked within bubbling at the surface
Pinholes of strain attempt to release pressure
Its immensity can't be touched by a million such holes
Desire to discard the cloak grows with every breath
But the fear of being unveiled and naked prevents it
As the molehills burn and the fires are extinguished
Mountains emerge in silence, born of the forgotten ashes
Smoldering embers give rise to the unfathomable
Gargantuan by comparison and seemingly unstoppable
Can such enormity be reigned in,
Or will trying be a harsh lesson in futility?
Never give up or knowing when to do so
Holding tightly or letting go
To analyze or forget
No clear cut paths in the forest of self-destruction

Changing minds like running water
Future plans disappear in the mist
Venting the mind can weigh down others
Yet once they're gone, they don't exist

Saddened by fear of the unknown
Frightened for all that might be
Drowning in the sludge caused by maybe
Fighting to ignore what they see
Everyone has an opinion
Worries kept in closed fist
Tired of choking on the empty
Misunderstandings give way to be ******
Struggling to make sense of the senseless
The worst thoughts darken the mind
Discouraged by the time that's been wasted
Distraction would be quite a find

Blindsided by near tragedy
Bullied by unanswered questions
Elation tempered with doubt
Too frightened to be free
Best attempts continue to fail
Escaping to nothing
Nothing in return
Empty or just too full to feel
Irreplaceable time
Withering and wasted
Searching beyond hope
Looking for the good
Holding on to rainbows
Spontaneity dies slowly
Restless minds swim too fast
Shades of yellow in a fog
No memory of yesterday
Pulled back into now
Unable to process more emotion
Unstoppable floods
Undeniable bonds
Unwanted feelings
Unconditional everything
Emotional vampirism and parasitic tendencies
Leave nothing behind
Overwhelming need to help
Bound by limits
Pulled by love
Torn apart slowly
Unable to heal
Unable to deal
Left bone dry and used
No one to blame
No cycle to break
Taking your sorrow
Swallowing your pain
Carrying your suffering away from you
As you heal I disappear

Behind closed eyes lies the truth
Jumbled and broken in bits and pieces
Shattered dreams forgotten
Memories erased
Familiar feelings confound the soul
Fear sears the mind's eye
Faith can release it

Weight of the world
Broken shoulders and cracked spines
Long run consequences
Short run bliss
What's right for now
Or what's right for later
Good for one
Or good for others
Rubber arms cannot balance the sides
Today's frustration swallows tomorrow
Delinquent youth
Intolerant with age
Rules or freedom
Is there freedom within the rules
Is tomorrow forever tainted by mistakes from today
Perhaps tomorrow is tainted by things further in the past
Then again, could that be where true liberty lies
Letting go of bad choices
Living with the bed you made by accident
Do accidents really exist
Is there even a path
Mistakes that matter need not be ones own
Buried under a world of nothingness
It matters to no one but you

Tie-dyed psychedelic swirling thoughts
Mid-day nightmares tied in knots
Jagged edges of broken minds
Untamed beauty so unkind
Honey sweet and sappy places
Charcoal eyes on empty faces
Inside ugly seeps through perfection
Blocking daylights warm reflection
Chasing nothing standing still
Raining brimstone breaks the will
Held fast in place by testimony
Indecipherable real or phony
Undependable instincts and cloudy vision
Inhibits any and all decisions
Hand-mixed daydreams light and creamy
Candy coated happiness, all is dreamy

Floating
Hoping to catch an eye
Even the eye of a storm
Waiting
For someone else to do
Wishing
To be noticed
Not wanting to be judged
Longing
To have some course of action
Non-action is an action of choice
Looking
For someone else to see
To see importance in what has been left
Floating in mid air

Treasured moments lost in time
Relived in dreams or nightmares
To wake with a longing long since passed
To sleep and be swept away to what was once forgotten
Previous happiness is remembered as holy
No anger, no sadness, no discontent
It is, after all, a dream of what was
Imperfection is reality as it was back then
Dreams sift out the ugly and unpleasant
All that is left is the sparkle of diamond dust
Twinkling stars of a happy heart
It is not wise to judge today by yesterday
Or tomorrow by today
The good is to be wrapped up and kept warm
The tarnished should be left to melt into nothing
Each smile stored in a safe place to be called upon as needed
Today's treasured moments are tomorrow's dreams

Nails clawing through shirttails
Trying to hold on
Desperate not to let things change
Faceless people turn their backs
Glasses shatter half full
Only the empties remain

I give to you a garden
Complete in every way
A mixture for the senses
To ease the pain away

I give you all the flowers
That grow throughout the year
A blanket that is petal soft
To wipe away the tears

I give to you a rainbow
Colors so brilliant and bright
To brighten up your spirit
Through the darkest of the nights

A world of wonder awaits
Though it is not mine to give
I promise I will always try
As long as I shall live

Reflections of self in others
Painfully, reality slaps
Realization of needed change
More patience, more patience,
MORE PATIENCE
The residue of stinging words remains
Making it hard to breathe
There is no escaping self-induced consequences

Stepping out
On stepping stones
Cracked and ready to crumble
The slightest pressure or lightest weight
Bring the depths instantly closer
Plummeting to the unknown
Facing the unwanted
The sunny sky turns tunnel
Turns pinhead, turns black
Vertigo, no sign to guide
Nothing to lean on
No way to track the bubbles
As the drowning ensues
Searing pain, like lightening
Blinds or enlightens
A flash of what's to come
For an instant there is tomorrow
In that instant hope renews
A hint of up or down
A choice of direction
A path to glory
A way of life
And the sun will never be lost again

At 18 you are not who your parents perceive you to be
At 18 the mistakes you make are yours alone
At 18 you learn life's lessons can be brutal
At 18 you think a broken heart is a mortal wound
At 18 you don't know who you are
At 18 you have dreams

At 18 the world is yours
At 18 you CAN do anything
At 18 you can be who you want to be
At 18 you can make your own choices
At 18 setbacks do not defeat you
At 18 you are free

At 18 there is always time

Through the thunder nothing is heard
A shadow of a voice imprinted on the mind
The wind howls and masks their screams
Can one's own thoughts be trusted?
Not in search of, but finding oddities
Things that seem senseless
They fill the crevices left in dreams
There is no help for the silent
Mind tricks and sleight of hand
Say the words and life is lightened
One load at a time

Vacuum-sealed in cloudy plastic
Suffocating by design
No claws to tear through
No blades to slice
The coldness of the air seeps through
But no breath can be taken
Peek-a-boo I see you
Creepy clouded faces stare
Known yet quite veiled in circumstance
The harder the struggle
The weaker the fight
Light fades as breath strains
Wishing for pinholes

Tracing the thoughts with a fingertip
Lining the clouds with silver
Present feelings from past mistakes
Proof that change is good
Perspicuity from a lazy dream
Thoughts like jumping beans
Bouncing off of shady corners
Waking what lies in quiescence
Scratching light into the darkness
With a stretch and a yawn
Folding what was into what is
Forming what will be

Tiny pieces of you
Linger in my very being
Burning embers of brimstone
Sulfur fills each breath
I stop to smell the roses
They turn to ash at my touch
At you within me
Particles spread as I cough you up
Multiplying in the air
Dancing with joy
At their new-found freedom

Tiny pieces of you
Rotting my soul and consuming my spirit
Burning pinholes in my brain
Memories burned away
Shadow of pain still sore, still raw

Lingering, lingering, lingering

The black sky turns navy, turns blue
It is tomorrow
Today is yesterday
Yet it does not feel in the past
Still fresh, it lingers
It taints the morning with its unanswered questions
With its thoughts weighing heavily in the air
It is hard to breathe
Barely notice the rising sun
Roosters crow in the distance
Cold permeates the room
Seeping through the walls,
Like a ghost of Christmas
Chilled and Aged
Not as fine as wine
More than sour grapes
May the heavy head be cleared with the fog

The faded dreams roll in with the darkness

Like a whisper in the night

Transported to another time, another you

Surrounded by those who used to love you

By those you will always love

Heartbreak and odium upon awakening

Lost in the midst of then and now

Knowing what was meant to be is

Mourning all that wasn't

Preoccupied with the past, days seem heavy

Ridiculous waste of resources

Yet, it ebbs and flows like the tides

Creeping in, unwanted and unwelcome

Thankful always for innocent mistakes

Grateful that no one can read your mind

Missing bits of who you were

While trying to love who you grew into

Clouds roll in and thunder roars
Tears, they fall in rage
burning rivers down the face
Of the once innocent
Humanity ripped from souls
The heartless rise
The careless linger
What was once is no longer
What should be, never was
Ineffectual words
Counting down to nothing

It has been ages since eyes have fallen upon this place
Walls, once hard and cold, enveloping like a warm blanket
Soaked in intoxicating aromas
Enticed by the softness, the stillness
The slightest shift is alluring
No voice to be heard over the racing pulse of time
A deep breath and a sigh speak volumes
In silence and darkness it is left forlorn, desolate, and longing once again

Gray skies and broken rain
Sliding down the windshield
A lifeline ever-changing
Droplets, in contact they merge
Yet, some sit lonely, isolated
Only to be ****** into the paths of others
Left behind or swept away