I feel so different,
so out of time.

Good ‘Ol days expire like the milk
in a deadman’s refrigerator.

Time to grow up, time to leave it all behind.
Take this heavy load, 4 years to decide
the rest of my life.

Who will I be?
Do I know?
Do I want to know?
I don't think so….

Not to imply that life is a feast placed directly in front of the eyes
but it shouldn't be designed on the judgement
of a young adolescent who can’t tell love
from lust.

What if I don't want to grow up?
Who will save me?

Where is my Peter Pan?

I need someone to write me.



I know that it seems mad, but I’ve written her into my memory a thousand different ways and I never got the stain she left on my heart just right. at least I’ll just know that she's better than all those mindless love driven ramblings. No, I need someone to write me so I can see what i meant to them.
HOW COME I DID THAT FOR HER? SHE NEVER DID THAT FOR ME..

it’s not that hard to do i think.

a sentence,
a word,
a breath.
GIVE ME ANYTHING that strikes you as me.
a sense of purpose so i can believe in my life again. ive been trying to write myself but the **** pencil  
keeps breaking and i'm shaking too much from those pills taunting me from my desk drawer.

WRITE ME NOW,      i beg.
it seems the trees are my only friend and even those are dying. i can but belting loved by myself isn't enough
and these demons are getting stronger

I want rainy morning naps in sweaters and blankets. I want clumsy kisses in the doorway. I want a warmth from my chest and a happiness that radiates love. I want fingertips on the ridge of my back. I want that feeling in my veins. I want sunset kisses and long drives. I want a balance of love. I want hugs that tumble to the floor and laughing streaks under the covers. i want lips on my neck. I want love in my veins. I need someone..

I fear:
-not being able to give
-being all of a sudden ordinary
-the hours when i’m not with her
-not being enough
-losing her
-the letting go part
-for when she discovers I’m nothing but a skeleton
-a lack of purpose
-exploiting my weaknesses
-the contradicting thoughts that occupy my head some nights
-abandonment
-being anything less than worthy of her love
-being a no one
-being too big for my body

Sometimes, I escape into a fake place of mind, where for some reason, I associate flying with freedom. but that;s for the birds because if they could speak, I think they’d scream, “Please Father! Let me rest on this earth!” “ Let me rip off my wings and rest like the people do!” and they’d try to let themselves plummet to the ground, but God would catch them with a breath of wind from his lungs, and their wings would catch onto it and they’d be frozen, floating and immaculate, gliding forever. Yet, i sit wishing that I could glide off this earth and take her with me so her feet would never have to touch this wretched dirt anymore.
sometimes, I escape into a fake place in my mind, where, for any reason, I associate flying with freedom. but when solace finds me and looks me in the face to give me my wings, I will scream and cry and gouge out my eyes. because I will not surrender my soul to a place that I am questioning and gives me starry mirror as an answer. to a place where birds are forever doomed to a life of being tired. Just let me escape into that fake place, where for every reason, flying is freedom and where the birds can rest, or please just let me drown.

eventually, we will find out that we did not take enough pictures to last those six months…
we will discover that exhausting those few that we had together will hurt a little more than not taking any.
when we've fought enough over words that could not be resolved over airwaves one hundred miles apart, and could have been stopped from rolling off your tongue by taking them into mine and when the comfort of passion can calm my nerves is when the pictures will mean something again.
the exhaustion of memories is driving us to meaningless pieces of earth dust and it's polluting our fire souls to the precipice of insanity.

If my brain bled visible colors in an outwardly tangible spectrum, they’d be dampened maroons and lifeless oranges. They’d drip like pools of broken glass built for thoughtless reflections and a trivial life question based on why my lungs want the oxygen so bad...

sitting in the backseat watching their love.
pure,
clean,
together.
I stared into the stars and they stared at the road or at each other.
the Lumineers CD,
I wanted to sing along but
I didn’t want to sever the thread of silence and comfort tying them together.
As I watched her lean and put her head on his shoulder and he put his hand on her arm
I realized I missed R so much more than what I thought.
I wanted what they have.
Presence.
what a gift… taken for granted most times I think.
I laughed a little to myself when we were on the freeway and knowing that I was
fifteen minutes from your house and my heart
knew that we couldn’t stop.
I stared at the infinity wishing it could be as little as the space
they had between them in the driver’s and the passenger's seat
so when her and I kissed into infinity we could be together.
Sunsets can only be so long when you’re alone and in love. I’m reminded
of that almost every night.
and then her letter came.
I cried and held it and read it like the treasure it is and imagined what it’d be like to be
next to her sleeping and our cat
meowing like crazy because she sure as hell is not going to feed it.

I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence yet, but three hours after we ended our conversation at midnight, exactly 6 months from the last day I saw you. We were so naive and and and now, 6 months ago I should have kissed you. Maybe my feelings were rectified in the sirens for the tornado and the rain approaching my house. My heart was racing as I headed toward the basement, but not from eye contact, or physical contact, please let me touch her. I’m shaking from the detox of a love unlike myself. I’m not myself. and ****, I walked past a mirror and took a glance but the crazed animal looked back and I stopped breathing. It’s not me, It’s not me, GOD IT’S PROBABLY ME! So Jesus our Savior, let me drown in the fire, **** it. if i can’t have her and if I can’t have love, let the tornado consume me and her so I may have my heart race for a good reason one last time before I **** myself so I can actually die and stay dead rather than live on without a single ******* emotion in my head. **** this life, it’s been too long since I’ve seen her. and my eyes have lost their glow. How am I supposed to live with the storm within the animal I hold in my heart?

I remember when you told me.
I had to go back,
reread like I was editing a paper when
your final revision had been made.
My heart fell to the bottom of the ocean that held
the boat we sailed on.
My eyes still remember the salty water over hesitant moons and I
double over.
I crawl to the bathroom and say
“this can’t be true”
Dry heaving my feelings from my stomach and turned
to face a light.
Shield my eyes from the florescent lighting in
the operating room where
you were the surgeon and
I was the patient.
You ripped me one piece by piece but
I was under.
I couldn't see then but the scars from the
stitches made of your words reminded me
of the pain.
The medication, your eyes.
Seen once or twice a week over FaceTime
just enough to ease the hurt until-
the next time we saw each other and
prayed the distance would be removed.
but you didn't like the silence of the space vortex I tried to build around us.
So I kept my feet on the ground.
For you, of course.

please throw me into the fire.
I'm cold enough without your shade
and I may end up in the flames in the end.
so please friend, tell me what difference it would make.

she was the type of girl you'd see in a park,
singing to the dandelions while strumming a guitar.
she was the type of girl to fall asleep next to her guitar
on bed of grass at the bottom of a hill.
magic in her fingers, she'd press her light frame to the grass
and force the darkness from her lungs into the earth.
magic in her eyes, mistress of the night.
banisher of spirits into the vacuum of space where
the only thing promised is eternal and infinite blackness.
magic in her lips, she kissed the fallen leaves
turning them to amber hues when the seasons get too cool for her life to flourish.
magic rattling through her bones when the winter nights are cold,
harboring flowers in her veins, she’d bleed to let them live.
magic in her blood, letting it drip to the mud
turning it auburn and burgundy.
she was the magic that is life
and the beholder of all things good.

they say there's smog in L.A.
but have you taken a look in my brain?
that one day when you yanked me into that room,
knowing you, I was afraid to enter.
because Alex was in the next one over.
I was headed there to play music so we could drop a boulder on our emotions,
just for those ten minutes.
I was one year older,
but I went by you anyway.
he didn't say much
to me the rest of the day.
I said yes because the pressure on me was more than a TV-
crew stalking me and my heart.
my emotions were fleeting and then you started to proceed in asking.
I SAID YES because of the smog was bowing thicker and I almost suffocated under your gaze.
I wanted to make you happy,
BUT HAPPINESS IS NOT A STATUS THAT I CAN
-“check yes in this box”-
around my thoughts.
so believe me when I say, that day messed me up
but I was waiting for the day for you to
turn away to someone else.
I needed to be me for once…

and so I told you,
again and again.
and only to your surprising dismay you realized that
I MAY NOT BE WHAT MY SHELL APPEARS TO BE.
that the pain in your voice caused me hell- I haven't slept well.
but you make ME out to be another girl,
leaving for a guy.
NOT EVERYONE IS THAT WAY.
had the connection been real
had the affection and your lips on my neck felt real
and made me FEEL SOMETHING,
then maybe I'd have stayed.
but no, so I'm the one to blame,
and honey… love is a two way game, and in this one
the winning cards weren't shuffled for you.
you said you UNDERSTOOD me and the way we'd be.
pain, it's visible.
IF you care,
you didn't stop hurting me there.
I SAW YOUR HURT because I was feeling it too.
you didn't dare take a look at me though. at any of me.
ME.
MY SHELL MAY LOOK LIKE IT’S DOING WELL.
but most days it held a near death entity.

so I'm an ex now…
okay.
I still hurt, but there's nothing I can say to make you believe
my pain is also valid.

I guess I never mattered...

and she was my light
she was my star, and sometimes stars die.
yet when stars die, they become a fountain of new light and color.
and she was my sun
she gave me warmth, she gave me life.
and she was the giver to everyone and their lost souls
because her eyes were my only salvation that banished the evil
and when her fingers brushed against my skin
my fear melted into the oblivion we've starved ourselves into.
and I was not worthy of her love.
and my heart is still cold and
my eyes are still shut behind lenses to dim her light
but why would anyone **** their savior?
forgive me father, I know not what I do.
but her spark is still there
in the midst of it all
a brewing cosmic explosion
a dynamic fusion of all her hurt

sketchbooks are supposed to be for sketching,
but sometimes my thoughts come out in words or color.the shapes in my mind don't form worldly things and my brain can't comprehend itself.I am a dormant volcano full of anxiety and too much love for this world.I find comfort in the nothing that consumes me, for that it all I am.Dust, an insignificant particle in the eyelashes of society,I still pity myself and hope I disturb a tear just for my sorry existence, but it dries up in the barren desert of lies being fed to the masses.Sick of the monsters within. It's 1AM now and I’m the only one with a conscious thought of blood staining my veins with life. Oxygenated life.Held by the elements that we hold inside of us.I yearn for the release of sleep that will slingshot me around the sun again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until the earth's pulse flatlines, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until we are destroyed by creation, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, life to death, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until death yields to creation, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again until it all stops….

I closed up inside.
started forming my armor.
Because when the night rolls around,
I got two things on my mind.
one is itself and the other is my body.
I wish I could tell you which is scarier.
sometimes it's the voices,
sometimes it's the mirror.
neither will help me see any clearer.
So I chain myself up.
inside and out.
I start with my heart, work towards my eyes until I'm blind.
pass the time
till the scars fade off the clock
till the sun rises
till we go around again.

I closed up inside.
started forming my armor.
Because when the night rolls around,
I got two things on my mind.
one is itself and the other is my body.
I wish I could tell you which is scarier.
sometimes it's the voices,
sometimes it's the mirror.
neither will help me see any clearer.
So I chain myself up.
inside and out.
I start with my heart, work towards my eyes until I'm blind.
pass the time
till the scars fade off the clock
till the sun rises
till we go around again.

You say I'm temperamental, but that it's just developmental.
The way my brain claims to be insane,
with a lost else of hope, and a gained sense of pain.
I'm done with that game, I'm done with this ****.
You think I'm an open book, I've had enough of it.
“you're just a teen”, and that “you're as see through as a screen”
and that with gleaming eyes, you've never seen me cry, about the things you'd deny,
because you never even tried.
Just one second blurring by, cutting through time like the cuts on my friends’ wrists.
and yes, that apostrophe goes AFTER the s.
I know my grammar, that's no error.
The blood trickles down and pools in the wells of “get well” cards
next to the hospital bed where she lies.
Drowning her mind, making sheets into tides, and after all this time,
I've left with nothing but this rhyme.
The makeshift raft, crafted by my weary hands
and the salty burn of the liquid now staining my cheeks.
15 years is plenty, thanks.
and, you.  have the audacity to tell me I don’t know **** about this earth.
Well, pardon me, but, I've seen your tomorrow in the eyes of today,
because rising scientists, actors and actresses,
but not enough to stress the BI-ness of those who you thought you knew.
Tell me about the bible, and how,
the binary that sweeps through your Facebook feed,
is touched more than the book you were raised on.
Your hypocrisy is dwindling away,
until the truth will be left.
so, sorry that I'm angry, and
no. I'm not depressed.
Just leave me alone with my loneliness.
Allow me to clean up your mess.

“You'll feel better in the morning”

Just a reminder that I'm miserable now
spawning reasons not to wake up in the morning.
I don't know how to fix me.
I'm a disappointment,
I make decisions that make other wary of each breathe I take.
I can't figure it out.
The morning is a sick continuation of my idiotic composure of bones and tissue.
my failure to others.

“You'll feel better in the morning”

Empty promises.
As if I can be repaired with a few pieces of tape and a few embraces.
I promised myself with every change
comes a new appreciation
and a dream people will like me.
I guess both that and the statement are wrong.

TW; Suicide/self harm



came home,
couldn't deal.
stuck note in envelope,
licked the seal.
placed on the bed,
one last chance to clear the head.
too late.
gather the pills,
enough to make the ****.
dry swallow them all,
crouch against the wall.
slide out the knife,
that’s hidden all through life.
though the tears,
cut away the years,
trim the life strings,
don't feel the stings.
blacking out now,
not knowing how
survival was this long
praying to die.
please don't cry.
it'll be fine.
it'll be better now.
heart slows.
breathing ceases.
I pull you under.
goodnight.

Muscles ache,
another night kicking myself over
something I said.
or should have.
Anxiety eating at the marrow of my bone,
my blood slows.
To see your face again would be a
happy torture to my dying heart.

A few pulses from the shock,
an emotional AED
fusing life into my small vessel.

The candle of light in my lungs getting too smoky for themselves.
Suffocating.

My brain like a time bomb
ticking with thoughts of deprivation
just seconds from explosion.

My body is a sinking ship,
but the captain no longer lives in my skull.

The burning sensation after a kiss,
Pretty sure the burning isn’t supposed to hurt.

Please lend me your ear.

A gut feeling overthrowing my heart with its sour acid
A lurking anxiety attack at every moment our eyes meet

Please lend me your ear.

The anxiety attack blurring vision and lungs,.
The autopilot with no training.

Please lend me your ear.

A forced embrace, at the expense of my weakness to tell you we should have been over.
An uncomfortable exchange of false love

Lend me your ear

You’ll never know the pain of a forced lie
An unspoken truth chaining me to the edge of a cliff called insanity.

Lend me your ear

For it’s your ignorance keeping me from jumping.

I departed the plane of my mind and passed by the baggage claim,
I did not want to carry my baggage anymore

How you you know when you’re in too deep?
Is it when you get home and try to sleep,
and the dreams stop tumbling through your mind,
and on the other side,
all of it is dark?
Is it when people try to touch you,
to wake you, because you haven’t moved a muscle in hours,
but your skin just lights on fire where they press their fingertips.
If it is true, and this is what it's like,
than an eternity under the ground is how this must be.
I never had a dreamless sleep,
and now I’m not sure what to be afraid of.
The fact that I wanted to stay there,
In that dark,
With that evil that consumes my mind.
Where the only pain I felt was liberating,
And I could float on. Forever.
Or when I snapped back into the realm of the worldly,
My memories flooded back to me.
Vivid.
Everything perfect, with a cherry on top.
All the people, all the love.
That the sleep I was drowning myself in was temporary
but I wanted it for eternity.
That I chose dark over light.
That’s what death feels like.

It was a snow,
The type of snow that looks like glitter on the pavement.
My arms outstretched in the chilled air, hoping to catch myself.
But I fell ******* the ice, almost as hard as I fell for her.

Excuse the title
But then again, don't
**** the cliches that my friends told me it wasn't gonna work
**** the 100 miles of **** that made me like this
**** the indescribable pain that mocks me in the early hours between midnight and the sunrise
**** the irreplaceable promises and words I spent on you
**** the ignorant ***** that don't ******* understand me and you
**** my existence for falling for a person that I didn’t even doubt the slightest bit
**** the blinder that my infatuation feasted itself in front of
**** those nights where I cried myself into oblivion over the fear that the trust and love had not been returned
**** the time that those tears meant something
**** the night you told me
**** the promises I made to myself
**** my sexuality
My gender
My body
Spirit
Entity
Leave me the **** alone
I'm too fragile to be ****** with.
I'm never gonna find love because I'm a love sick blind pansexual genderfluid mess that can't see anything and I waste my life on **** that's never gonna work out because I am a stone that had all the jagged edges worn away by her, leaving the gullible curves to be tossed into the river to drown.
But that feeling of breathlessness could never equate to what my lungs did after seeing you

When my tears stop falling over the “I’m sorrys”
When you’re asleep and i’m dying to be calling you
When it’s 3am and I haven't slept because I'm dehydrated and craving you
When I can have no worrys and have complete trust
When that ******* pixie dust does it’s job and
When the 11:11 wishes come true
When I don't have to lie awake and alone
When I don't have to shield my heart from destruction
When these walls can fall down
When I can trust in love
When I believe it's enough
When I can hold you
When 100 miles becomes 0
When you see me
When her and I become we
When we can watch the sunset in each other's arms and
When the promises are kept
When I see you
When?

broken and beaten, I've been traded.
I never was good at bartering
and I get attached to the hearts I acquire.
Yet I remain EXPENDABLE.
and I don't UNDERSTAND it.
the DRAMA of it all.
I'm tired of being traded as a lesser possession to the
temptations of previous sins.
WHEN can I become the manager of my ****** possessions and
learn to control my heart's quick inspired inevitable failure?

i've got cobwebs
i've got cobwebs dusted around my soul
of words i'd wished that you'd never told
and i'm tiptoeing around them
like i'm blind and can't see them
because that is the way i know how to love

when jesus saved the men that no one knew
he ignored the cobwebs in their hearts
and he tiptoed around them standing up straight
until they put the cross on his back and let him fall
he tripped on the cobwebs
but that was the way he was made to love

when you left and became a ghost
you'd draped your cremains inside of my soul
and they turned into dust and cobwebs
but i was told that forgetting you was how i should love

the universe shakes me awake with an ache in my chest
and for a moment i think it's just my ribs getting stuck again except
I'm not having trouble breathing
like i sometimes wish

i look in the mirror and know I'm not alone
it's four AM
and not a soul stirs
not even my own
i think that's why my chest hurts

mine's dead
i think
and now the spirit it leaves paints itself gold
stroke by stroke
"FALSEHOODS" i scream in the mirror
"falsehoods" the reflection whispers

and i weep
a broken fragment trying to make itself new and worthy
but what a lie
the lies we tell ourselves
and the lies they tell themselves.
nothing is worthy
but hush, just paint them gold

she said she missed me
I said I missed the way I felt
she said she regrets ******* up
I said I don't give a ****
she said she sees I've found my happiness
I said "yeah, with someone else"
she said I'm glad you're happy
I said I'm sorry that you're not
she said I've lost all my friends
I said I'm sorry but that's okay
she said she's been looking for happiness
I asked if she'd found it
she said she didn't

MAYBE THE REASON WHY PEOPLE CAN'T
FIND HAPPINESS IS BECAUSE THEY NEVER
BOTHERED TO LOOK FOR IT IN THEMSELVES

drip...
      drip...
             drip...
a leaky faucet that someone didn't quite finish closing off
a cry for help when the ties of the rope aren't tight enough to hold your weight in lies and sadness.
so a slow drip will suffice
but you'll wish to expedite this pain by drowning yourself
but someone didn't quite finish closing you off
so you'll die
drop by drop.

and you used to love the water
the way it was refreshing and cleansing
and reminded you of the feelings we had
I left you on edge
I left you unhinged
I left you not quite closed off

I left you loose and you still poured out for me
I left you with hope and you drip on...

The sun is much colder when you’re alone but the moonlight is warm at the end of the day when my bones creak from exhaustion.
Human interaction wears me out and I can’t hear myself over others. I want to ******* smash my head against the wall and no one leaves me alone I just want the and no one else at this. I take my time to recharge alone because I haven't taken time for myself yet today.
EVERYONE SHOULD SHUT THE **** UP FOR TWO SECONDS.
UNDERSTAND ME PLEASE WHEN I SAY THAT I WANT TO DIE FOR THE REASON THAT THAT'S THE ONLY ESCAPE FROM THIS EARTH THAT I HAVE.

I thought God was calling me until I realized my phone was dead and
my brain was just reverberating the ringtone that was ingrained in my head next to your name.
I'm so ******* lame, because
it was just the static along with the 100 miles with no signals.
a you showed me what love was when I thought my savior had left me.
I thought you were the one, darling..
only to have you smash my heart as much as my ******* phone screen.
it's okay though,
I have my network to back me up after you left me.
so more more dial tones.

i feel very extra sometimes…
    
    i feel very used sometimes…

            i feel like a dandelion when it wears its’ coat of fluff…
        
    people pick me up and admire then

******* away, forgetting about

me until i plant my seeds for the next bloom…

            more and more and more of me spread,
            
    too many places i am in now.

i’ve been blown too far, so i cannot
    
    find myself among the flowers.  i am just

            a **** that only people with childish innocence

    would bother gazing upon and

and i wish that i could just die.
    
                i feel very extra sometimes
                                and i wither with grief.

111016

to my dear heart.
    
    Are you still there? I do miss you so very much. this vacancy hasn’t been taken and I’m not looking to fill it with anyone else’s. (but if we’re being real, who would want to give me their heart anyway, I’d probably break it)


to my love.
    
    where did you go? it’s so very cold without you. I don’t seem to feel as much anymore and I’m yearning for a feeling. something. (other than this superglue sadness) I still don’t know how to get this sadness off my shoulder, you were the one that always helped. Please come back. (being honest, i miss you more than the others)


to the glimmer behind my eyes.

    what killed you? was it that illogical mess that controls the rest of you. was it that demon named anxiety feasting away in the night that kept your eyes glued to the ceiling where light never crept. (but let’s be logical. you have the light unless it it’s the sun’s first or last breath, and you can’t bear that anymore either)


to my brain.

what the **** are you doing? I know you’re bad with chemistry, but please figure out the imbalances. it’s too much of something or not enough of another and it’s getting me more and more ****** up everyday. I’m not suppose to be this sad, do you know that?
I’m not supposed to be this sad.
there’s no reason (though, sadness is your muse and she is the most beautiful disaster)


to myself- as a whole entity.

    I hope you know it’ll be okay at some point. I hope you find some source of happiness, love, warmth. I hope you find that someone that __________.


to death.

    this tunnel is too long to have no light at the end.

there’s a coldness in your eyes
and it’s coming from your heart

I can tell when you hear the songs you feel hollow
the echos of the words bounce around in your bones and
paralyze the warmth of arms
.

every way out of this is just out of your reach and it’s fading fast
you stretch and kick but it’s too far. the strain is unbearable
you slowly fade into a gray hole.
inescapable  

you’re lost to yourself

you’ve become numb
a slate of nothing

the rain no longer satisfies your feeble body and the unquenchable melancholy death

it’s pulling you deeper in that unforgiving hole
in the deep dark pit of your stomach where love once inhabited


the hurt is you.


you've been overcome and the devil of regrets and all his evil own your broken beaten soul

his caffeine kisses below gray eyes
pulled me out from my body and into the light.
our tongues danced behind our fragile lips and
tiny love bites graced time
marking seconds and our bodies intertwined
lying on a teenager’s bed.
and his arms fit perfectly in the arch of my back
and my arms grasped his shoulders because
he was the only thing I was holding on for.
-

I am a child of the stars
Conceived from stardust
And sketched from the kisses of Orion.

I am a child of Jupiter
Formulated from the amber streaks that pinch my frame together
And the unknown beneath the surface.

I am the child of the Milky Way
From the exploding stars that burrowed in my eyes and my heart
And the nebulas that are trying to piece themselves together.

I am a part of the sky that happened to fall down and bruise my skin with dirt
From the bones under the grass
And the charcoal smudges speckling my back.

I am a child of the black hole
Whispered into my ear and filled my brain with darkness
And rests in the bottom of my stomach.

I am a child of the sun
That puts the warmth in my body
And fight the darkness in my head.

I am the child of the stars
Conceived from stardust.


Watch me shine.

sometimes people tell me that
my cheeks get red and bumpy after
my tears have dropped down them.
And sometimes it looks like the sun has kissed me in my eyes and
overpowered the darkness behind.
And sometimes it leaves freckles on my cheeks and I like them.
so I cry a little longer.
holding on to the beauty behind the salty streams and
the external effect to the internal intent of these sun tears that
freckle my cheeks.