Why Am I Laughing, I'm Feeling So Manic, I Think I'm Unscrewed,
I Need A Mechanic.

I Crash Into Barriers, I'm Grinding Up Metal,
Dust In The Sky & It Lands Where I Settle.

I'm Feeling Fine, I'm Ten Out Of Nine, I'm Making No Sense,
Don't Climb Up The Vine.

I'm Feeling Like Grime, I'm Spent Out Of Time, Life Makes No Sense, We Climb While We Grind.

Now I Just Pine, I Walk A Thin Line,
I'm Looking For Signs While Theirs Sweat Down My Spine.

I'm Looking For Me In The Mist Of Despair,
I'm Looking For Reason When I Didn't Care,
I Found My Feet Now I'm Climbing Upstairs,
I Woke Up From Sleep Now I ****** Nightmares.

After school
We'd go to yours,
Cuddle up in bed,
Breathless from head.

Bathed in your scent
& warmed to my core.
But guilt and shame battle within,
I suppose in you it came to win.

We'd smoke **** kickback
& roll around in the sheets,
Wash away sweat from each other's bodies in the shower.

But back at school you'd ignore me,
You'd laugh when your friends cornered me and called me ***.

You'd avoid eye contact while sending sweet texts,
I guess all was cool, my name on your phone book reads Harriet.

When I bumped into you at lunch, my food ended up on the floor, in the bathroom I fell to the floor locked the door and let tears pour.

Back at yours, on the same streets we've lived on for years.
"Old friends" I guess I should ignore,
Your treatment of me doesn't change.

Why can't I shake you,
Lost in fantasy,
The possibility of us.
The thought that you might love me.

We'd burn one down but this time you took my virginity,
The agony washed away by pleasure, still lost in my fantasy.

But you rolled off me,
Face contorted with disgust,
You'd barely gone cold inside me before you returned to being cold with me.

Fall into the Sea
And swim eternally
With me

The ebb and flow.
We swim gracefully
Through the sepentine

Fish and mammal alike
We evade sight.
Currents pulled soft hearts tight.

Maybe we could Blood
And let the Blood
Bleed.

Yes, we want to sleep,
Let the dreams seap in
Till we're sleeping deep.

How we want to cry
And let the tears drain us,
To the sand the sun stains us,
Till we're less than rust.

Till we're nothing more than thought
And less than caught
Ever something more than naught.

Never severed from blood
Wether below above
I can't send my love.
Mediums Water never Mud.

  -

Said he wants to bang me,
Told him find a noose
You can touch me when you hang me.

Grubby paws
Watch for my claws
Cause I can take your all


I can take you to the cosmic,
But you and your microcosm
I'll swipe you out like
A Microorganism.

Then I might actually ******.

My chest is half full
Shimmering with love
Spilling compassion by the heartful.

My mind is my own
These voices are mine too
Threads of thought tough like sinew.

Unravel the knots so people can find you
Chaos can hinder weaken and blind you
Remember yourself be kind and be gentle.

Remember yourself and your morals be mindful.

Droplets speckled across thick green leaves,
The moon riding high almost at her peak,
The ground was soft and dewy,
While the grass entwined my feet.

There was  a time when I'd feel the beat below, the steady heart of the Earth.

Breeze wing beaten to my face by the wide wings of the Sky.

My aura was alight with Fire and my Spirit was adrift like flotsam In the Ocean of my Soul.

Felt like I was stranded, salty, searing in the Sun.

Like a tree that has been petrified by lightning.

My mind a forest bowed by gale force wind.

I was raw, undone, unraveled while unravelling more with reckless abandon.

But think of the forest, think of the woods, think of creation and the nature of all things growing.

I need to remember the Moonlit Grove.

Nature so suple, divine and in spaces evergreen,
Life was a simple fragment made wholly meaningful In this moment,
I'm In awe of this complex marriage between living, growing and giving life after your own.

Where the doplets were speckled across thick green leaves,
The moon riding high - climaxingly luminous at her peak.
The ground was soft and dewy in it's rejuvenating embrace
While the grass entwined my feet and the moonlight kissed my face.

I'm Running Out Of Time
I'm Burning On The Inside
I'm Running From My Fears
They Never Seem To Subside.

The Hourglass Is Nearly Done
The Light Inside Is Nearly Spent
In The End It Was For Fun
In The End It Was All Meant.

I Am Nowhere Near Perfection,
From The Start I Knew Rejection,
I Know I'm My Own Reflection,
Diseased Inside I Hide With Deflection.  

I Am Rotting Living Flesh,
I Am Living On A Bless,
I'll Hide Inside If I Feel Stressed,
Deafened By My Pounding Chest.

All the fuel you poured on me,
I wouldn't  burn,
In just the same way you will not learn.

You didn't just take me,
You tamed me.
A lion like fire
You chiselled me to size.

I'm left prim,
but still no ones prize
And I despise how
My eyes turned from gold
To green.

How I went from a sight
To being unseen.
How you made me cold,
Feel deranged and act mean.
How I dimmed before a light I thought was brighter.

Now on a path much lighter,
How thought and remembrances
Make my heart that much tighter.
But in life to live one must be a fighter.

I can burn
Like the sun,
Learn the universe
And become one.

I can move beyond
All that's bound me,
I can be fond
Someone else found me.

I remember the last time we ******,
It was hateful and thick with unspoken words,
I remember meeting him and thinking nothing,
But I guess nothing became something for you.

Maybe I'm bitter but jealousy died,
**** on that ***** I hope he's a ride,
You know I don't hate you I hate that you lied,
I would have taken my leave while retaining my pride.

But you didn't respect me enough
To tell me you found a new love
It would've been **** but I'd have picked myself up
I found out by seeing you deep in him... ****.

I could've cried for a day but I didn't,
I took my stuff and waved good riddance,
I could've disappeared for a year and hidden,
I wouldn't give in to weakness... that is forbidden.

I've seen you together in town,
You're a team and i cannot frown,
Swam from my feeling 'cause I cannot drown,
I'll find my one or I will be found.

Truth speaks,
Hell (.)
But the Currency is deafening.

People barely care
They're never not *******
or ever really listening.

But a grave we dug
No matter how grave,
When mud thuds I hope
We're snug.

What we made and
From that there's no reckoning.

A dark and dreary lane
But we saw and saught this
Figure beckoning.

Looking for release
And we only found
Another prison to lease.

Soon to be future
That has passed,
A shame for mud
But we couldn't last.

Discordant notes crescendo and Harmonise at the point of ******.

The music of gods, exquisite to ones ears. Yet quite maddening for their minds.

Discordant notes crescendo and Harmonise at the point of ******.

How this phenomenon occurs is a mystery. All things that oppose each other converge at the point of Life.

Discordant notes crescendo and Harmonise at the point of ******

Fake, snake
He's in the grass
I'm a rake.

Broke.
The embers I stoke
On your soul I ****.

Saught you
Left with naught,
In a net caught.

Strings pulled taut
In the fire wrought,
But I love you.

I treat you like this,
You treat me like ****
But still it's you I miss.

I treat you like rolatyty,
No loyalty no love.
As far as the stars above.

The clock indicates time.
But endlessly eternally lost,
Swallowed in a black hole.

One of my own making,
My own doubts and fears collide
Cataclysmically, a Vortex to all near.

Leaving me barren, battered and bruised.
Gave my all but still got used.
I effervesce...
No. I sublimate.

All my doubts I hope to
Eliminate.
Fears to strength I'll
Stimulate.

Give me back my soul,
Build me,  
But I'll make myself whole.

When you held me,
Half you made me
And from truth you severed me
But to lies you tethered me.

Like a storm you'll weather me,
Savour the taste of your saviour.
And lost I lost all favour.

I'm Wasting Away, I'm Less Than I Was,
Wanted To Stay, What Was The Cause?
Won't Let Me Play, I'm Left On All Fours,
The Screens Going Grey, He Left Me On Pause.

What Is This Game, Who Are You Gaming?
Giving Me Blame How My Body Is Shaming,
Fall In A Slumber Like I Am A Shaman,
You'll Talk About *** But My *** Doesn't Shame Me.

Empowered I Flowered When I Lost Virginity,
I Was Made Iron I Lost My Fragility,
I Am Like Fire I'll Burn Through Infinity,
Mind Is Made Fluid It Moves With Agility.

Don't Pick At My Petals Or Pull At The Stalk,
I Know A Demon & He Has A Fork,
I Seen A Body Outlined In White Chalk,
Passed A Thin Line How Far Did You Walk?

I was at the end of my wits
My stress blocked the light
It was a solar eclipse
Or a ******* blight.

Now when I wake I thank God for every fight,
Now when I cry I value every tear as a sight,
Never flowing often cause I'm iron when you ******* bite,
Never knowing me I'm moving on 'cause my futures bright.

Put me in a box in the corner for the coroner,
Like a maidenhead only take never honour her,
Left me on standby now it's blank on my monitor,
Treat me like a princess then you treat me like a foreigner.

Put me in a fix that you'll fix then you'll mix my drinks,
Tell me what I think how I think that my opinion stinks,
Fill my head with **** utter **** and then control choice,
Fill my head with panic pure worry then you take my voice.

I was at the end of my wits,
Moon hides the sun eclipse,
I was done getting hit
Which you "never ever did."

Which you "never ever did"
So I never ever hid
So I'm glad to be rid
I hope you never have a kid.

See me on the flip side
Meet me on the hill side
When you see through bruised eyes.

Let me know how it feels,
Only when in your mind:
You didn't care when in mine it festered.

The sea couldn't wash away,
The stain was oily on my skin,
How fragile we're only paper thin.

Saw the sea on the flip side,
Horizon painted pink shades
And green when it met the sea side.

Feel free when you see
All what's seen is part unseen
Truths perspective subjective.

Let me know how it feels,
Only when in your mind:
You didn't care when in mine it festered.

You wanted options.
I gave you one.
I guess games get
Hard when you can't
Have fun.

I wanted one thing,
Something simple
But not a ******* care
Only person you see is yourself
I swear.

You couldn't wait a day,
Just one,
Before again you betray!
Dogs rut in the mud
No matter what
You say.

Having A Day In The Sun On The Town,
Reclaiming My Throne & Shining My Crown,
Been Down In The Dumps & Hunted By Hounds,
No Sound In The Mire Or Light To Surround.

You Make Your Own Gold From The Metal You Smelt,
You Strategise With Cards You've Been Dealt,
Moving The Pieces The Pawns Have Been Used,
Using Your Cards Up It's Like Their Abused.

Know No Ones Holy I'm ******* With Him,
Satan My Husband The Original Sin,
I'm Deformed Further Than The Children Of The Nephilim,
An Imbalance To Gaia I Defy The Globes Spin.

Using The Energy Built From Within,
I've Lead A Whole Glaring These ******* Won't Win,
I'm More Than My Instincts & Meaningless Sin,
Gin Mothers Ruin In Tears You Will Swim.

You thought me flora to be arranged.
In the muck with the fauna,
Let me be deranged.

Let me run wild, be feral.

Let me run skyclad amidst the
Trees.
Don't bind me to your reality.
Don't imprison me in your
Model of Patriarchy.

Let me dance to the moon
And sing wildly in the wind.
Encaged I'll be left enraged -
Combusting from within.

I Just Wanted A Husband & A Nice House With Kids & A Cat.
All I See Heartache Debt & A Destitute Shack With A Rat.

But I Swear I Won't Care,
About Fair If You're There.
A Pair In The Sun Won't Shy From The Glare,
Stars In The Night All The Light That We Share.

Made Houses In Our Minds,
Filled With Warmth From Our Hearts.
Made Love Right In A Field,
We Were Watched By The Stars.

Pennies Never Rubbed, Just One *** To **** In, Just One Blanket We're In, Heated With Our Kissing,
Nothing Could Be Missing.

We May Never Have Anything,
But With You I'll Have Everything,
With Fire Fly Filled Evenings,
We Are Fire Fuelled Beings.

With Desire Edged Nights
& Passion Born Fights,
We Tire In The Others Embrace,
A Line Of Kisses On The Others Face.

Satiate your need,
Take a bite
Just feed.
Life pour from me like
A river.

Just breathe life into
Death again,
You fell, left rotted,
Rose from the ashes
And left Death besotted.

Phoenix, fly and
Burn free like fire.
Tame your flame
But freed to burst
Forth from the frame.

Airing my ire I was born in the fire,
A Phoenix flying higher with wings that never tire,
I wish I could touch but the glory was too much,
It seared my skin and such feathers iridescent in my clutch.

Swallowing pride I won't wallow inside,
All of my life I could never decide,
To live for myself or let my time slide,
A war in the skin where my spirit resides.

Now in my skin I'm not hollow like tin,
More battles to win I won't sink I can swim,
I won't burn in my sin or burden my kin,
My soul will not dim the darkness I rescind.

Misery loves company,
I guess that's why
I love you.

How sad,
Never could be or
Ever have been

Severed so Bad

Genetics counts as 1,
But reality holts at 2,
I guess that's why by 3
-I fear I may hate you -

Or hate that I love you.

Words came so easy
Now dry dead and decayed
On the roof of my mouth.
So close but never spoken,
Truth never allowed.

But these words burn
To be said out loud.
I wish you'd care or
Even been there,
But I guess I'm where
I'm fated.
Never satisfied
But validated.

Life's what I craft
and what I'll live,
Laughed at Fears tears,
Strifes what He'd give.

I will be
Looking for me,
Freed from this bind
Liberating my broken mind.
A long time coming
Pisces, never cruel to be unkind.

The anger I feel in my mind it is scathing,
The people are blind to why we need saving,
We're treated like toys they treat us like play things,
Step out of line then you'll need a tasing.

Your body they own it the truth is disturbing,
Your thoughts are they free do you think it's unnerving,
Your programs and apps is it purpose they're serving,
It's distraction & misdirection these servers are preserving.

It's crap & it's chaos,
Distract from your pay loss,
So what is inflation,
Media only serve sensation.

Your devices are listening,
While people ignore,
Our devices keep listening,
What's left in store.

Sold off for a pittance,
Waved off like good riddance,
A commodity to be used,
This odyssey leaves us bruised.

You Can ****** & Rob People All ******* Day, Its Okay They're Called Politicians.
Keep Chugging ****, You Won't See  & Its Good 'Cause You Can't Afford An Optician.
When You Get Low We'll Kick You In The Bones, I'm Sorry We Deported Your Physician.
They Hope You Get Sick & They'll Hit You With A Brick,
But They Call That Universal Credit.
-When Their Caught Out Trust The BBC To (.) Off With Their Heads & Dead It. We Have Ears & Memory Too We Really Know You Said It, Snakes Caught In Skins You Belong In The Bin, No More Mice Cause I Already Fed It.

Being the brunt of a cruel joke
Is like a spear through your soul,
Burning you burn & the fires they stoke
Desecrating innocence turns diamonds back to coal.

All the potential but these animals feast on it
All of the tears but these creatures get of on it,
All of the pain but these demons remain by it
All of the innocence lost & consumed by Id.

Making their egos so threadbare
Superego overworked it is dead there,
Creating a creature of dread fear
The cycle continues instead here.

It's sad that the unseen are left to wither,
Cold & hungry they're left out to shiver,
Welfare is corrupt & the Government is morally bankrupt,
The system is fixed & not for the people,
Some people are predators propagating evil.

It's bitterly disgusting how people don't care,
It's a joke beyond proportions there's plenty to share,
But if they cannot charge them then assets left spare,
Human misery and the  disproportion is laid bare,
People bogged down in the depths of despair,
There's no accountability like they should stay there.

It's a game for these vultures,
It's just life for the rest,
Stress induced ulcers,
There's a press on our chests,
They sell this as culture,
Where work is the best.

But wages have fallen we're slaves to our debt,
Chemical inebriation just anything to forget,
It's survival of the richest while poverty grows,
A decline in intellect so nobody knows,
A deadline of people living on the breadline
But just read the headlines misinformation shows.

Vile Old Creatures, Predators & Leeches, Feeding Off Youth & Destroying Innocence,
Blind To The Goddess, To Her Purity & Her Imminence.

She Will Cut Down These Rotted Old Weeds,
She Will DeadHead The Fruit Of Misdeeds,
Walk Them To Tartarus Then Take Her Leave.

O Protector Of Children & Mother Of Magick,
Maiden Of Life & A Bard Of The Tragic,
Crone Our True Warrior Give Us Our Knowledge,
So We May Rise Up & Prove What's Alleged.

Give Us Our Truth & Expose The Ruse,
We Have The Proof So Don't Blow
Your Fuse,
Hell Is Your Home & You Should Return,
Inferno & Fire I Hope That You Burn.

As arrogant as Zues
Yet you hold no throne.
Ambitious like Apollo
But you hold no light, foresight,
You find yourself blind.

Endless and stormy
You challenge Poseidon,
Endless and Gloomy
You find Heart and Home (Hearth)
In Hades.

Styx couldn't Hate,
Lethe found what was
Left to late.
Caught in the Current
Water burns like Lava.

Demeter couldn't nurture me
How I withered before harvest.
Prosephonie found light in the darkness and led me through.
Hecate told me tales of time and time before Chaos began.
She found a spark where my soul was left essenceless.

Though Styx couldn't cross me,
And remembrance my curse left by Lethe.
I found the light my Goddesses gave me,
And I praise these names
as they continue to save me.

To be continued

My Mouth Is So Wet Yes I'm Salivating,
Towards The Queens Honey We're Gravitating,
We're So Close Feel That Heat On Your Face,
The Truth Is Morose Because They'll Take Your Place.

One Will Fall Down So That Others Can Rise,
Others Throw Stones Just To Quicken The Ride,
But Their The Same Ones Filling Churches With Cries,
Their The Same Ones Feeling Wholesome Inside.

They Will Line Up To Mourn With Fake Tears,
From The Cradle To Kissing Coffins With Snake Sneers,
They Will Line Up To Ensure That You're Dead,
Covering Smiles Their Faces Like Lead.

Millions Ravaging Bones,
Smarter Ones Fight Over Thrones,
Ashes Still Warm When The Crowns Over Thrown,
Death Rolls In Graves At The Seeds We Have Sown.

Call me, Death.
To steal your breathe.
Running ice through veins
Don't call me invain.

Reaper, is he a keeper.
Or will you take him too.
Can I fall in love
Or will another door close.

Mr. Grim, please let me have him.
I can't see his eyes turn dull,
Skin turn grey.
I can't survive another loss.

Death, stealer of breath.
Let me have this one
Let me have Life this time -
Times never enough in your presence.

More or less
I think I'm just lost
Maybe just less
Further from what's best.

Who knows,
****, who can tell me.
You know what,
**** who can tell me!

I've been compared to that
And made to feel mad
Compared to tat
And made to feel sad.

But worse than that,
I've been left like
A dog end.
Only dogs want the end
And care to pretend.

Snubbed out,
Words unknown to me
Are dubbed now.

Only hope I learn
Tired of this burn
Extinguished I release my rage.  
Tired of this cage,
Tear away loss from my page.

But who knows?
Maybe another day-
I'll nurse my pain
Till the tears drain
And I may remain.

Remain. Sane.

Call me when you can hear me,
Visit when you can see,
Touch me when you can feel me,
Inhale and you can scent me but
Come to me when less petrified.

You've held me and dropped me,
Cold on the ground used up.

*** toy, Doll!

I wanted to be so much more.
Bit on the side, the other "woman!"

But I wanted to be so much more. Cold, used up, on the floor again reduced to be your faithful *****?

Call me when you comprehend my words,
Lay with me when you can finally see me,
You can touch me all over when you feel me,
Become intoxicated when you finally smell me,
Like Galatea I come to life in your arms, don't leave me petrified.

Respire,
I'm made of Fire.
From the soul
To the flesh.

Then In turn the soil,
Any who breath leave -
A timer, we're set to spoil.
So I won't walk with hesitation.

I'll live life without reservation,
Follow the brick road I chose.
My life's mine not a Gamble
Neither a game i can't lose.

If I chose right
Turn to what's good,
Turn to the light
I won't bruise.

But past hurt
And present optimism fuse.
The futures bright
But only if fate and ourselves
Choose right.

Burn and burn brighter
Learn and become a fighter.

Fire,
Life's Fury fueled
From respiration.
Live and don't burn out
Before expiration.

Cutting Your Head Off It's Not On Your Shoulders,
Stamping & Kicking & Pulverising Your Boulders.

Sick & So Twisted Pure Evil Inside,
Demons Take Form In The Flesh You Reside,
You Could Take The Reins But You'd Never Decide,
Lacking Control So There's No Need To Revive.

Let His Soul Sink As His Frame Rots Away,
Malleable In Death As Energies Like Clay,

Reformed & Reworked & Reinvoked When We're Made,
Spirits Impression From The Past Will Fade,
Resurrections Reincarnation Like The Phoenix's Way,
We Can All Leave Buy It Takes Steel To Stay

It's An Energetic Drain,
It's A Wound Without Pain,
A Haemorrhage From Within,
An Ailment Born Of Sin.

I Can't Quite Keep From Wasting Away,
His Eyes Weep He Knows I Can't Stay,
The More I Took The More I Paid,
All Was Taken Without Fair Trade.

I Was Growing An Absence Inside,
I Had To Take Leave So The Soul Could Revive,
Make A Room To Breath So I Could Decide,
Wear My Heart On My Sleeve Or To Never Confide.

Love Is Just That,
There's No Figures Or Stats,
While I Trust Him,
I Won't Let Him Dim.

I'll Dig Through The Dirt,
I'll Heal Away Hurt,
I'll Reform Till I'm Whole,
Pressure Makes Diamonds From Coal.

Tossed and tossed aside,
You held me - cast me away,
In the swell, lost in the sway.

Fate has a cutthroat way
And we are held in her say.
And she plays, while our price we pay.

She Calculates while in
Endeavours lust we are lost.
She sees while we disindergrate.

My hates only love I can't
Intergrate.
I'm more than what was left
And I know more than what was
Right.

I'll just scream
Sing
And cry.

I won't die,
Fall
I'll fly.

I'll be more than what
Was left.
Life from ashes not left bereft.

Roses In Caskets,
Flesh On The Market,
Suitors In Baskets,
My Hearts A Dark Tar Pit.

Weakness In Bones,
Like A Sickness In Clones,
I Am A Dinosaur
I Don't Throw Stones.

Meteors & Stars,
I Was On Mars,
To Think This Would Last,
It's Written In Your Past.

But We're Both A Bit Toxic,
The Boat We Both Rocked It,
A Strain In The Others Coccyx,
A Third Pilot In The Cockpit.

Roses In Graves,
A Heart Up For Saves,
Dinosaur (.) But I'm Only So Strong,
I Need A Second Cause Life Is To Long.

Social degeneration
A gift
Of our generation.
Moral degradation
And
Spiritual incineration.

We burn and rage
With more than
Is beyond our age,
We set the stage
And watch as the
World burns like
Dried sage.

No history books,
Let alone words
To fill a page.

I never meant to miss out on you
Never meant to fly over you
But am I meant to be with you.

Never did I ever
Come back just to sever
Replay repeat the same
Restart rehash the shame.

Blame
Because you blame me
How I went and left
Because I wasn't the same see.

Glad and thrilled,
Feeling eternally filled.
Was I sad when Life
Had stilled.

Sunk to fast,
The Oceans pressure,
Never would last.

Was I sad when Life
Had killed?

Life took Love
And Love took me,
Narcosis...
But just a breathe
Beneath the sea.

Deluded and panick filled:
I did not see
that I reaped the Reaper and
The death of me.
~

My Soul Reflects The Darker Shades,
Once Was Full But All Soon Fades,
My Soul When Formed Was Pure & Bright,
Reality Soon Flicked Off The Light.

My Garden Grows & Withers In Time,
Mountains Mount There More To Climb,
The Skies Will Grey & Lighten Too,
The Stuff Of Life Will Frighten You.

If Spirit Dies It Can Be Reborn I Cut Mine Out Like A Coat To Be Shorn.

Was Never A Sheep It Wasn't My Form,  
Angels Could Weep We Transformed To A Storm,
Demons Still Seek So I Have To Inform.

Seraphim Sing To The World & The Calm:
" In Life You Need Learn, Or You're Not Our Concern.
Inferno You Should Burn, If From The Light You Would Turn. "

So Each Day I Take A Note,
Of What I've Learned & What I've Wrote,
Of Every Deed That's Destined To Float,
Of Every Bird & Every Boat.