Tasteless senseless retarding my senses
Toxic neurotic and my flesh feels necrotic
I cannot stand the weight of this hate
Ears closed shut while you berate I can't take
Body was a temple now you pray at another
Our bodies used to tangle now eachother we just smother
We both knew we were drifting our values in life shifting
How you follow love to swallow till your sense of worth's hollow
I wallowed with sorrow seeking the light of tomorrow
Now worlds apart I can't help but wonder
If we could restart before we fell under
Would anything change or was this just the way
How the fates had arranged us caught in their sway.
I feel like I'm a sailor I've been sailing these tsunamis
Broke my bonds and bound the jailer I've faced the hoards and fared these armies
Bared the wash and stayed the pull
Made my peace amongst it all
I walk on glass like penguins tread thin ice
You're green like grass and greed has grabbed you by your vice
I wont lie I've lost myself inside your eyes
But the truth called out and sounded a sour note screaming through your lies.
Then my ire desire it spawns into fire
This pyre apocalyptic but something I sired
Swallow it all then in the lava you're mired
Ash in the wind your spirit is all but expired
Now I've found myself plummeting to the ground
Foundations built on lies quake till they all fall down
My outlook was paper thin formed from adolescence weak putrescence
I'll meet the ground and find innocence with rebirth creating harmony amongst dissonance.
Existed in the air
Resisted with the sea
Persisted by the ground
The fire was inside me.
A swelling mass of emotions welling up from the core
Indistinct Unclear and Confusing
Fire meets Ice and it's Fusing
Truly Infernal but as paradise posing
Find the light the door is closing
Find yourself you're close to losing
Finding yourself is cutting and bruising
Missing it all is not worth choosing
Fire spinning spider I dance between the weeves
Ice inside my heart its pours out when I breath
Earth I taste when a thousand thoughts fall like leaves
Air when I'm all I'm in awe I believe.
Living gives time for forgiveness
Each day a struggle each day a blessing
You can't keep giving you can't keep stressing
While you find you don't think of relenting.
The crow beating at my window breathed a breath of life,
But the darkness at my door I'd adore before I became the night,
I was choking. Suffocating. Bedeviled in the chasm.
If I could simply tell myself to stay strong,
If only I could say I belong then maybe I wouldn't feel so wrong,
Maybe I wouldn't have cuddled destruction like a bomb,
But here is now and these thoughts must move on.
I love who I am and you will never change that,
I accept who you are and I won't change that,
But when I was lost I would've done anything to change that,
Discovered myself from my ashes now I'm content I became that.
Bless me, Because I really bless me,
Even the bowels of despair can't digest me,
So if in this I stuttered then respect me,
While I'm making this pain clear will you reject me?
In the night your feelings weigh you down
Thoughts scream a banshees wail
Heart pulsing like a rabbit now
Can't console or calm down
Suffocating in myself
Aura dyed itself pale.
Falling down can be a sail
But the boat dips down don't fool yourself
The rush in your ears makes it hard to hear
The worry from ones to which you hold yourself dear
Descending to hell while you feel yourself sear.
I cuddle infernos so to the heat I feel near
I muddle my mind so fog can seem clear
I settle for nothing while the world is set on fire
I bottle my ire while the breath of death respires.
In the night
Some people outgrow growth and embrace decay
The love they had once is now all but flayed
So a veneer of ice is all that's displayed
It's hard to heal when one is betrayed.
Some people take and destroy what they want
When their cold it's not their accountability that haunts
It's their hatred of others how self imposed abandonment taunts
It's a regime of hedonism that leaves a soul gaunt.
Some people can heal and reveal that living is choosing
That to get up and live is beautiful even when losing
It's a battle in a war and the essence of life is bruising
That the beauty is in the battle is the reason life is confusing.
I would hold my grudges like I kept my secrets,
I would smile while dying just to pretend,
That I was okay and above it I could ascend,
I thought the weight was too heavy for me to contend.
I would wallow in despair and swallow hateful tears,
I learned that secrets are like cancers metastasising through humanity,
Hatred is a product of imbalanced duality,
And if we are to move forward we must outgrow insanity.