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girlinflames Aug 30
I’m going to live
in a small apartment,
letting go of everything
we built together.

And it hurts—
it’s not easy.
It stings like running a marathon
and, just as I thought
I was near the finish line,
realizing I’d taken the wrong exit
and now have to go
all the way back.

I’m too tired
to start over with someone else.

But I shouldn’t think about that now.
I should start over
for me.
girlinflames Aug 13
I was never addicted.
I was always starved for affection—
That pleasure I tried to find
Here, in my core,
Was only an attempt to rescue
The girl in her old bed
In that house filled with
Violence,
Neglect.

Where no one ever told her a story
Before she fell asleep,
Where no one ever said
“Good night,
Sleep with God.”

Today,
She’s feeling her way along the walls
Of her cold house,
Trying to find
The path back home.

—It was always about
Feeling loved.
girlinflames Aug 13
Sometimes
you have to go—
take that step,
despite the fear,
despite the uncertainty,
and discover
that in the end,
we always survive
to tell the story.
girlinflames Aug 15
I’ve noticed
you haven’t written poetry in a while —
at least, not published any.
You’ve gone quiet.

And yet, without words,
you’re still poetic.
It’s stronger than you.

You only ever wrote about our love.
Now that I’m gone,
you’ve lost your inspiration.

Thank you —
I’m flattered.

But please,
go back to writing.
I’m still here.
I miss your poems
making my heart skip beats
every morning.
girlinflames Aug 11
So many lives
I could be living,
and yet I’m still chained
to the one
that didn’t work out.
girlinflames Sep 19
your love
plays guitar
but hides in a harmonica case

your lies
sweet to them
poison to me

if regret could ****
i would be gone
only my perfume
left in the wind

a ghost you chase
never knowing
we ended
before we began
girlinflames Aug 11
This week’s reading
began with a card called Hope
It was exactly what I needed today
girlinflames Aug 19
Is my freedom,
my desire,
nothing more
than you?
girlinflames Aug 14
If a heart can tremble,
mine is trembling now.

That thing about the law of attraction—
well,
I imagined my divorce,
imagined myself radiant,
dancing wildly,
happy,
without you.

Look at us —
everything’s falling apart now.

We don’t talk anymore.
We’ve become roommates.
Apartment 403,
welcome.

He works,
I stay home —
that’s the dynamic.

I asked what would become of us,
what you wanted me to do,
and I found myself longing
for you to actually tell me what to do.

If you said, die,
I would die.
Just please —
not in a painful way.
girlinflames Aug 13
With each passing day,
I realize I am not alone
in the universe
that there is something greater than me,
greater than everything,
and that this everything
dwells within me.
girlinflames Aug 15
You told me
to gather all my things
and leave.

I did.
I didn’t hesitate.

It was as if you had opened
the cage door
that had been keeping me trapped.

I guess I’m sorry
it wasn’t me
who said it first.
But I’m glad—
because this time,
I didn’t let the chance
slip away.
girlinflames Sep 19
you left today
tomorrow is uncertain
the day after
already too late

i tell myself
you are poison
take this chalice away

but memory betrays me—
the wine
the heat
my body in yours

and the truth—
i fell
you didn’t
Pay attention to your prayers.
To what you ask for.

You may ask for joy,
for peace,
for love—

but do you know the price?

Sometimes,
it costs leaving behind
the very things
you love the most.
girlinflames Aug 11
One day
Two days
Three days
Four months
A year has passed
And the emptiness is still here
girlinflames Aug 19
Your eyes say forever,
your silence says fleeting.
You chain me with your touch,
yet leave me doubting
what name to give this fever.

I would surrender—
life, body, soul—
if this were love.
But if it is only desire,
then I am nothing more
than a flame you’ll let burn out.

Still, I stay,
hoping you’ll call it love.
girlinflames Aug 12
For so long,
I thought something was wrong
with being empty inside.
But I’ve made peace with my emptiness—
a flute only makes music
when its soul is open wide.
girlinflames Aug 17
There is a goddess in me—
long asleep.

She woke.
I fed her.
I listened to her voice.
She sang the most beautiful songs to me.

But then I put her back to sleep
and forgot her.

Now she has awakened again,
and she sees—
if it were up to me,
nothing would change.

I believe this goddess
is the lost child within me,
braver than I am,
pushing me toward the choices
I was so afraid to make.

Living
was one of them.
girlinflames Aug 11
The life we built together
feels centuries away
I can’t remember it anymore
but I know it existed
Sometimes
I’m startled
I no longer have you
Sometimes
it makes me desperate
Sometimes
it makes me
incredibly happy
girlinflames Aug 17
Sometimes I look toward the horizon
and there is nothing—
only a line.

And it scares me.

Because nothing
can be just nothing,
or it can be everything.

And the line
can be just a line,
or it can be the beginning
of a journey—
not the arrival.
girlinflames Aug 28
Lately,
my husband has been bothering me—
a lot.

He’s always moving,
in bed,
on the couch,
never still.

It irritates me.
But I’ve realized—
moving
is something the living do.

Which tells me
I’m more dead
than alive.
girlinflames Aug 15
You were a mirror
I needed to see myself clearly.

Yes, you had your part in the story.
Whether you came from heaven
or from hell—
it’s all right.
Your purpose was fulfilled.

I didn’t choose
to marry the wrong man.
I let myself
live the marriage
in the wrong way—
unconsciously.

By showing me
I deserved more,
you weren’t necessarily saying
he was wrong for me—
but that I had been
treating myself wrong
all along.
Do you crave attention?
Is that why you play the influencer—
not because you have something to give,
but because something is missing.

Applause.
Adoration.
Affection.
Love.

But you cannot fake influence,
you cannot pretend to be what you are not.
Makeup fades.
And at the end of the day,
when the mirror stares back,
you still hate yourself—
and everyone has already forgotten
Sometimes,
when I finish a poem,
when I’ve polished it,
I see a white light
surrounding it—
not because it’s perfect,
not because it deserves an award,
but because it is mine.

I cry
reading my own words.
Sometimes I feel
it isn’t me writing at all,
but someone else takes the wheel,
gathers my emotions,
seals them in a shell,
lets them ripen,
until a precious pearl
emerges before me.

And that is why I cry.
Because this pearl
is too beautiful,
and it was born
from my own heart.
girlinflames Aug 11
I found out you moved on,
you’re with another woman.

I felt nothing.

I thought I would cry,
tear my hair out over you—
but I think I love myself now.

My weekly therapy sessions worked.
girlinflames Aug 11
Wholeness
That must be the word
If it’s not, that’s fine
I couldn’t care less
I know what I feel, and I can’t deny it
My verses are not for you
They’re for me
Period.
If you understand, congratulations
If not, I’m sorry
Go find a book—one with over a thousand words
Even better if it’s self-help
I need only a few words to say what I want
My therapy is in the verses
I owe nothing to anyone
Liberating
That could be the word too
Doesn’t matter to me
I simply cross my legs in the hammock
and spot a new world of possibilities
waiting for me
girlinflames Aug 11
I don’t want crumbs
I want gold
wheat
honey
the finest and rarest in this world
I am not cheap
My mental health has cost me dearly
My tears
are priceless
I’d like to see you pay for them all
I cried for everyone
But I cried most for myself
for letting me cry for those who didn’t deserve it
for giving space
and letting them destroy my peace
I owe nothing to anyone anymore
Yet everyone owes me
Starting with the one who writes to you now
I owe myself
a great deal of love
girlinflames Aug 14
It feels right,
but it’s wrong.

The house looks the same—
and yet it doesn’t.

I’m a visitor here.

The house is the same.
I’m the one
who changed.
girlinflames Aug 20
Sometimes
Poetry comes
Like a slap
Across my face.

It keeps bothering me,
Begging to be written.

And I go,
“Ok… here we go.”
I’m channeling now.
girlinflames Aug 19
I’m writing this
knowing you’ll never read it.
I don’t even know if you you regconize me.

But sometimes
I play our song —
that beat only we would recognize,
the one you sent me in the middle of the night
when we were teenagers,
buried among countless other songs,
but this one stayed,
etched in my heart.

In our dreams,
I hold our baby in my arms
and hum it as a lullaby.
It’s perfect for that.

As I sway softly to the music,
my heart warms and aches,
as if, in some other universe,
this dream wasn’t a dream at all
but a truth.

I love you — you know that.
Or maybe the love I have to give
was never enough for you.
Or maybe it was.
I’m not sure anymore.

We are confused, inconsistent,
like the shift between seasons.
You never know whether to bring a coat or an umbrella,
so we linger in the in-between.

Either way,
the song is saved in my favorite playlist.
I know it’s in yours too.
It’s proof that what we felt for each other
was real.
The soul says:
I don’t want to carry
this pain alone anymore.

I want to translate it.

And so poetry
becomes a bridge of healing—

what once was pain
becomes self-expression.
girlinflames Aug 29
Once there was a square ball.
Wait—what?
Do square ***** even exist?

She didn’t like being square.
All her friends were round—
free to roll anywhere,
kicked, tossed,
thrown into the air,
feeling that rush in their hollow bellies.

Why couldn’t she be round too?

People left her in some corner,
stuffing her with all kinds of things.
She hated it.

One day,
a round ball saw her sad face.

Why so sad?

I wish I were round like you,
she said,
and burst into tears.

The round ***** laughed.
Since when does a box want to be a ball?
And they rolled away with their laughter.

A box?

The round ball explained:
If you became a ball,
people would kick you,
throw you,
use you until you were worn.
But a box—
a box keeps things safe.
Important things.
Have you looked inside yourself?

Yes, said the square ball.
Just a bunch of old stuff.

The round ball laughed again.
Old stuff? Those are memories.
Letters, photos, little gifts—
pieces of love and longing.
When people miss someone,
they open you,
and you give them back their heart.

The square ball looked inside.
She remembered tears—
both joy and sadness—
whenever her memories were touched.

So I’m a box? she asked.
Born to hold important things?

Of course.
You’re an incredible box.
I wish I were you.

And the round ball rolled away.

The square ball looked inside herself once more—
and no longer wished to be anything
but a box.
girlinflames Aug 11
Seeing you happy,
traveling to a place
we once planned to go,
leaves a bitter taste
and makes my stomach tremble.
I wish I were there with you.
I feel I’ve lost so much
I feel I’ve lost
us.
girlinflames Aug 29
I’ve been thinking lately—
I don’t understand how it can be:
literature so full of ornate words,
classical music tangled in
odd notes and fractured rhythms,
bitter wine too dry for
an untrained palate,

and a forest—
dense with trees and shrubs,
all intertwined,
chaotic yet each in its own place.

At first, there is no beauty in these things.
You must train for it—
breathe deeply—
to see that in all this bitterness,
this strangeness,
this confusion,
there lies beauty.

Not beauty in itself,
but in the knowing—
that you must live through it
to move past the first impressions,
and reach that moment of enchantment
that steals your breath,
when your heart beats differently
because it has caught a treasure
most eyes would miss.

The bad wine turns good
once you swallow it.
The forest becomes a clearing
when you walk through it.
The symphony becomes melody
once you learn to respect
the time of things.

Yes—appreciation is
respecting the time of things.

Sometimes you must read a text
and let it settle into you.
Sometimes you must listen to music
and let the notes caress you
until your eyes fill with tears.
Sometimes you must taste
the “bad” wine
to dismantle your own walls.
girlinflames Sep 18
I accept it.
You’re doing everything
to dim my image,
to rise above,
to play the victim,
to show the world
how much you suffered,
how cruel I must have been.

As if I, too,
hadn’t wept,
hadn’t begged,
hadn’t broken
and rebuilt myself
just to make us work—
two puzzle pieces
that never truly fit.

It seems you need this
more than I do.
Some people must turn you
into the villain
so they can crown themselves
the hero of their own lives.

So I accept it.
I will be
the villain of our story.
girlinflames Aug 11
They told me
that the more time passes
after a breakup
the more we tend to think
poorly of our ex-partners
I don’t want to think badly of you
But with each of our misencounters
I find more reasons to believe
I was married to a madman
girlinflames Aug 11
"Are you on ***?"
"I'm talking to you nicely and you come at me with rudeness"
This… is you
reacting to the version of me
that sets boundaries
girlinflames Aug 11
I had already understood
that it was about choosing
what made me feel good
but
what if what made me feel good
wasn’t what God wanted for me?
For so long
I chained myself to this doubt
this anxiety
I came to the conclusion
that I was no saint
that the ticket to hell
was free
while the ticket to heaven
cost me far too much
So maybe
I should try my luck
live whatever life could give me at its best
Because only in the end
would I know
if God would have mercy on me
girlinflames Sep 8
The clock ticking,
The hours running—
Like sand through my fingers.

I hope
I am the hand,
Not the time
Passing by.
girlinflames Sep 17
I’m tired of romances.
Maybe I’m just tired of myself.

From now on, I’ll write
free, light,
and unchained.

I’ve spent too long
reading,
rereading,
thinking I needed more time.
Fool.
Idiot.

Pleased to meet you.

As a woman,
I can be as many as I choose.
I can tell as many stories as I want.
And God help those
who don’t want to listen—
it won’t be easy to stop me now.

Light.
Darkness.
Prose.
And poetry.
All in one body.
Amen.

But I’m tired of romances—
or maybe
of happy endings.

It’s never been like that.
It never will be.

Stop fooling yourselves—
the bad boy doesn’t end up
with the good girl.
We like the contrast,
that’s why we read those stories.

The truth?
The bad boy ends up with the foolish girl—
and she’s not just foolish,
she’s twisted enough
to crave his filthy mouth
and his alpha swagger.
girlinflames Aug 17
Honestly,
I don’t think you deserve
all these verses of mine.

I’m so tired
of myself.
girlinflames Aug 11
I think I need to wash my soul
All the water I drink every day
makes no difference
I’m not sure if I’m writing poetry or music
I guess it doesn’t matter
Right now I just need to let it out
I read the other day that it takes maturity to be happy
So please
don’t give me happiness
give me maturity
Because I don’t know how to be happy
I’m still a child
I need to grow
girlinflames Aug 11
I need to publish myself
To make myself known
For me
I need to know
that I exist
girlinflames Aug 11
In my mind
I’ve slept with so many men
My fingers have felt my own texture so many times
My belly has felt so many *******
That maybe feeling so much
Has made me feel nothing at all
I’m grateful
because you told me
I had to take responsibility—
"my friend".

I’m grateful
because you called him
“the park maniac”
and made me laugh
when all I wanted was to cry.

I’m grateful
because you said,
“Now I get off this roller coaster
and leave you on your own.”

I’m grateful
because you reminded me
I deserve more—
a life filled with happiness.

Thank you, both of you.
You are my best friends.
girlinflames Aug 31
From: Me
To: My Inner Child

Hello, my dear.
How are you?
I hope you’re well—
because I am not.

You’ve always been here,
speaking to me,
showing me signs
I refused to see.

Now I see.
Now I want to keep you close again.

I’m in tears—
it’s been so long
since we last spoke.

I think I grew up
and left you behind,
abandoned
the way everyone else did.

I’m sorry.
Will you forgive me?

I’ve done so many wrong things
to you
and to myself—
things I’d never
do to a child
if I were truly responsible.

So tonight—
if you’re willing—
let’s spend time together.

Do you remember
first grade,
when every afternoon
you’d run to the ballet studio
just to watch the girls
in their pink tights,
gentle and graceful,
warming up for class—
and you’d stand at the door,
dreaming of being one of them?

I remember.

Our mother said
we could never be ballerinas—
our feet weren’t right,
our toenails always ingrown.

So what could we do?
Dance in secret,
alone in the bedroom,
with Barbie
and the Twelve Dancing Princesses.

So tonight—
will you dance with me?

Let’s be ballerinas for one night.
Let’s be what we always dreamed to be.

Will you take my hand
for this dance?

With love,
Me.
girlinflames Aug 15
Poetry was an accident in my life.
I wasn’t looking
for this way to express myself.

I admit I like it.
I don’t write every day—
only when I’m truly inspired.
I should write more often;
it’s good for me.

It’s just hard…
Sometimes living passively
feels more pleasurable
than actually doing something with life.

When I write,
I want to be honest.
I want people to feel uncomfortable
when they read my words—
because reading all this
is too much.

Because standing so close
to someone else’s vulnerability
feels strange.

I want to be sincere
in every, every
single word,
because I feel I’m too big
for anyone to hold.
I can’t even hold myself.

And I want, in the future,
to read my own words
and feel uncomfortable
with myself—
because by then,
I’ll be someone new.
Now that I have clarity,
lucidity—
I see it was impossible
for us to continue together.

It’s a fact,
undeniable.

Your world is too small for me.
I am expansive,
vast,
I fill rooms
and lives.

In your world,
the same stories repeat,
the same people
with the same problems.

And there is nothing wrong
with living that life.

But my soul
asks for something else.
girlinflames Sep 21
you will see his eyes
and think it is love

but the danger is
we stay
when we should leave

a stone
turns into a mountain

do not give
your love
to empty hands
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