That's what's gonna **** me,
Stress;
A little
Less;
The middle of a
Mess;
I should really stop saying
Yes;
'Cause that's what's gonna **** me,
And now I'm dead.
But let's
Keep this
To myself.

Crank up the volume,

So you can't hear a thing,
So nothing can get through,

And nothing can get out,

And you can't hear yourself,
And then you fall asleep.

Isn't that just the best thing,

That you could feel?
Wherever you are,

That peace and quiet?

Because when the music's loud
Your thoughts are silent.

You know when you create this image in your head
Even though you don't want to
Because you're afraid of how you'll feel when that image completely shatters?
And you know that it will because that's just not how things are.
It's how things could be,
But probably not how they will be.

Calm but confused,
Does that make any sense?
Frantic delusion,
Should that make me tense?

Would you be worried
If you got lost,
In a forest of
Rattled thoughts?

I'm walking straight
But I've already fallen twice
This is me in life;
A slip and slide.

I could tell you to back off
But I'd rather
Watch you chase me around
For a little longer
My pride, my ego, my arrogance
All want to be flattered and fed
And buttered
And I can just watch from my bed -
My bedroom door
Or window
Wrapped up in blankets
Too hard to ignore
Your jokes and your riddles
Your mistakes in the middle
It's like I'm laughing
At nothing
Even though I don't feel the same
I don't your need your help
Cause you don't get it
No ones get it
My self-esteem needed a boost
And you were the boost for a while
When I say I don't need anyone
I mean it, I don't just smile
And walk away
I want to walk away from your disturbing stares
You don't need to stay
And watch me glare
At the people around me
At my life and my mistakes,
At flaws and my imperfections
At my stupid cliches
That's it
I don't want to be a cliche
So stop chasing me
My pride can take it
I don't want to hear from you
I don't want to see you
I needed you once
And now I don't need you
Sometimes I just need me
Not someone who wants me dead
Sometimes I just need me
Not a stalker stuck in my head

One or the other,
I don't know.
I've stopped caring.

Like a burning candle,
I melt.
Disappear right before your eyes.
Gone before you even notice.
                              That flicker you see
                                  The moment of hesitation
      Is me almost not wanting to leave
                 Almost
                                            I'll burn you
 Within a few seconds
                                       I'll burn down myself
     Within another
             Touch me and
                                          All you'll feel is pain
                                                            ­       I'm cold at first
                   But only because I'm so dangerous
                I'll hurt you,
Which is something I just don't want to do.

It burns your bones
Burns your soul

Leaves you cold
But still somehow whole

Lights up your heart
To get rid of the dark

Flames lick your skin
You see the Devil's grin

Turns you inside out
To blacken the outside now

You can see it in your eyes
When the water dries

When your tears start to sting
Know you're tired of crying

It's destiny's date
There is no escape

When fire meets fate.

Do you ever just think about how you ended up thinking about something, and then try and retrace your thoughts?
.
.
.
Why am I trying to figure out how I thought about this?
.
.
.
Ohhhh. That's how I ended up thinking about this.
.
.
.
Why can't I remember? Ugh.
.
.
.
Why did I think about this?
.
.
.
I need to write something for HP. It's been a while.
.
.
.
I need to sleep.

Villains aren’t just people.
The mind is a villain all on its own.

Those were the happier times
Moments where I felt alive
Sad days, slow days
Muddled in between
Those happier times

Where I lied through my teeth
To get between you and me
When I spoke in cursive
And told you to hurt me
So you wouldn't know
If it was me to blame
For the games you played

Those happier times
Where we couldn't tell
If we were sad and confused
Or elated as hell
Would be
If it met me

Those were the happier times
Where I could remember your face
Without wanting to
Jump off a cliff

Everyone has scars they want to protect.
Even though scars aren't secrets.
They can be seen.

But because everyone can see them,
They'll want to know
The story
Behind your scars,
Which are secrets.

One is questioned,
The other is unknown.

So which is the secret?

The story?

Or the scar?

Which would we rather hide?

~

Twists and turns,
Soon fade away.
When you find yourself
On a straight road.

Only one car,
Next to you.
A stranger.
Someone you don't know.

The light is coming,
Taking it along.
All that's left is you,
So you're alone.

In the middle
Of nowhere,
Now you don't know
Where to go.

Suddenly
Everything is coming your way.
You're in the wrong lane,
But you try not to let it show.

At a crossroads.
What will you choose?
Forwards, backwards,
Why not just go after your shadow?

You're waiting.
Overthinking.
Worrying.
But now you have to let go.

Because of the twists and turns.
They come back slowly.
You had a one-way path,
But you missed your chance.

~

I took the time
To get it right
Can't afford mistakes
Can't afford to play the game
Gotta be perfect
Can't rid of this need
To be perfect
It's like this drug
Pumping through my blood
Cover it up
No bruises
All hidden
Excuses
It's like this drug
In my blood
This need
I can't get rid of
To be perfect
I tried my best
It's not worth it
But they want it
And I want it too
So I'll do it
I'll be perfect

NOT!

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I think "I don't know. Am I?",
But instead I say "I'm okay."
It doesn't matter if I'm not
Because that's all I'll ever say.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I force on a smile and nod,
But I'm not okay.
My eyes constantly water,
And my head always pounds,
While my thoughts become dark.

Somehow they can't see it.
See me flinch everytime I move.
Why would they?
I'm excellent at hiding things.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
"I'm okay." Is my reply.
But guess what.
I lied.

Today is the day I rebel
Against everything
I've ever known and felt

Today is the day I cut off
My feelings from my head
So they don't interfere

But maybe I wanna wait
Till tomorrow,
So I can say bye.

Ghoulish screams
Ghouls in dreams
Touching words
Touch that hurts
Shredded heart
Shredding part
You break
I break

Red oceans
Death omens
Darkened skies
Dark inside
Sharp blades
Short days
You don't
I don't

Dreaded lies
Dreadful eyes
Haunted smiles
Haunting cries
No place like
No one kind
You die
I might

I'm on my knees
Begging for me
I'm on the edge
I can't see
How far out
I can reach

I'm on my knees
By your feet
Your leg kicks
You're in the deep
It's all you
It wasn't me

I'm on my knees
I shouldn't be
You went too far
Farther than me
Why is stone
As tough as me

I'm on my knees
I can't believe
Blood is my sweat
I'm not me
This isn't real
Because stone doesn't bleed

Picture Perfect
Black and white
Ruin it
It's alright

I can make another one

Picture perfect
Colours bright
Ruin it
It's alright

I could take another shot

Picture perfect
Everything combined
Ruin it
It's alright

I'll do it again till I get it right
Because
One of these days
I'll get it right.

A perfect picture.
Showing
A slightly less
Perfect life.

Everything just comes and goes
Like lightning
But I can still hear the sounds
Like thunder

Everything just comes and goes
Like a butterfly
But I can still hear the sounds
Of its wings

Everything just comes and goes
Like a headache
But I can still hear the sound
Of the hammer in my head

I'm not crazy. Yet.

I wish I was trapped in a storm
It's better than being trapped in my head

I wish I couldn't hear myself think
My thoughts consume me, I'm about to sink

I wish I couldn't feel
I'd rather be numb, a feeling so surreal

I wish it was loud, and noisy
Lost in the silence, it's scary and empty

I wish they'd stop fighting
Maybe then I'd start smiling