Heaven rains down.
Hell rises up.
At dawn, they begin
Their search for dusk.
We mind.
We matter.
We run.
We scatter.
In the war between
All the higher powers,
All we are is,
Collateral damage.

It burns your bones
Burns your soul

Leaves you cold
But still somehow whole

Lights up your heart
To get rid of the dark

Flames lick your skin
You see the Devil's grin

Turns you inside out
To blacken the outside now

You can see it in your eyes
When the water dries

When your tears start to sting
Know you're tired of crying

It's destiny's date
There is no escape

When fire meets fate.

I could tell you to back off
But I'd rather
Watch you chase me around
For a little longer
My pride, my ego, my arrogance
All want to be flattered and fed
And buttered
And I can just watch from my bed -
My bedroom door
Or window
Wrapped up in blankets
Too hard to ignore
Your jokes and your riddles
Your mistakes in the middle
It's like I'm laughing
At nothing
Even though I don't feel the same
I don't your need your help
Cause you don't get it
No ones get it
My self-esteem needed a boost
And you were the boost for a while
When I say I don't need anyone
I mean it, I don't just smile
And walk away
I want to walk away from your disturbing stares
You don't need to stay
And watch me glare
At the people around me
At my life and my mistakes,
At flaws and my imperfections
At my stupid cliches
That's it
I don't want to be a cliche
So stop chasing me
My pride can take it
I don't want to hear from you
I don't want to see you
I needed you once
And now I don't need you
Sometimes I just need me
Not someone who wants me dead
Sometimes I just need me
Not a stalker stuck in my head

One or the other,
I don't know.
I've stopped caring.

Calm but confused,
Does that make any sense?
Frantic delusion,
Should that make me tense?

Would you be worried
If you got lost,
In a forest of
Rattled thoughts?

I'm walking straight
But I've already fallen twice
This is me in life;
A slip and slide.

Villains aren’t just people.
The mind is a villain all on its own.

Do you ever just think about how you ended up thinking about something, and then try and retrace your thoughts?
.
.
.
Why am I trying to figure out how I thought about this?
.
.
.
Ohhhh. That's how I ended up thinking about this.
.
.
.
Why can't I remember? Ugh.
.
.
.
Why did I think about this?
.
.
.
I need to write something for HP. It's been a while.
.
.
.
I need to sleep.

Everyone has scars they want to protect.
Even though scars aren't secrets.
They can be seen.

But because everyone can see them,
They'll want to know
The story
Behind your scars,
Which are secrets.

One is questioned,
The other is unknown.

So which is the secret?

The story?

Or the scar?

Which would we rather hide?

~

Twists and turns,
Soon fade away.
When you find yourself
On a straight road.

Only one car,
Next to you.
A stranger.
Someone you don't know.

The light is coming,
Taking it along.
All that's left is you,
So you're alone.

In the middle
Of nowhere,
Now you don't know
Where to go.

Suddenly
Everything is coming your way.
You're in the wrong lane,
But you try not to let it show.

At a crossroads.
What will you choose?
Forwards, backwards,
Why not just go after your shadow?

You're waiting.
Overthinking.
Worrying.
But now you have to let go.

Because of the twists and turns.
They come back slowly.
You had a one-way path,
But you missed your chance.

~

Today is the day I rebel
Against everything
I've ever known and felt

Today is the day I cut off
My feelings from my head
So they don't interfere

But maybe I wanna wait
Till tomorrow,
So I can say bye.

There is a man in my closet
He comes out at night
Crawls over to my bed
Turns out every light

There is a man in my closet
He caresses my skin
Holds me gently
And the warmth seeps in

There is a man in my closet
He reaches into my throat
Fiddles around for hours
Just to pull out the day I was born

He howls with my mother
Sways in her tears
Weeps with my father
And it tells me it wasn't real

He rips it to shreds
Lets me watch the day fall apart
Says I made it all up
Because I can't stand the dark

The man in my closet
Doesn't like to imagine
A world without me
But wonders what would happen

If I didn't dream
Of smiling on a swing set
Or have the memory
Of hiding in my closet

Where I dreamt up the man
Who let me paint with words
Watched as I stepped out
And boldly touched the world

A time where I was pink
And every day was golden
When my hands would touch the ground
And somebody would still want to hold them

When I could stand atop a hill
And want to climb higher
The man would reach into his pocket
And pull out a ladder

But lately he retreats further
To a corner in my closet
With all the shame and guilt
He knows it's haunted

By painful apologies
Unnecessary remnants
Ones he wishes I would burn
So we could stop reminiscing

Again he reaches into my throat
Pulls out another day
One where I was lonely
One where I wish I had said

Please don't leave me
Please stay the way you are
Pink and golden
He'll catch you from afar

Now that dear man
Is only trying to keep me golden
Amidst all the clothes in my closet
For me, he'll fold them

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I think "I don't know. Am I?",
But instead I say "I'm okay."
It doesn't matter if I'm not
Because that's all I'll ever say.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I force on a smile and nod,
But I'm not okay.
My eyes constantly water,
And my head always pounds,
While my thoughts become dark.

Somehow they can't see it.
See me flinch everytime I move.
Why would they?
I'm excellent at hiding things.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
"I'm okay." Is my reply.
But guess what.
I lied.

I took the time
To get it right
Can't afford mistakes
Can't afford to play the game
Gotta be perfect
Can't rid of this need
To be perfect
It's like this drug
Pumping through my blood
Cover it up
No bruises
All hidden
Excuses
It's like this drug
In my blood
This need
I can't get rid of
To be perfect
I tried my best
It's not worth it
But they want it
And I want it too
So I'll do it
I'll be perfect

NOT!

It started again.
The feelings. The bleeding.
The indents in my skin.
The waiting. The staring.
At the clock to move an inch.
The wanting to hide under my desk. In a corner.
Under the sink.
In the dark. In the closet.
A place where I could think.
About anything but how
I'm still pretending.
It feels like a performance everyone bought tickets for.
Expecting greatness.
An unlimited audience.
A constant improvisation. No rehearsal.
Some rehearsal. But unnecessary.
Because I change direction based on reactions.
To make sure the audience stick around.
Come for another viewing.
I need them to like me.
To come back.
Otherwise the show ends.
And I can't have that.
Because I'm an attention-seeking, narcissistic *****.
Or the main character. Or both.
No matter how much I hate it, the show must go on.

I'm on my knees
Begging for me
I'm on the edge
I can't see
How far out
I can reach

I'm on my knees
By your feet
Your leg kicks
You're in the deep
It's all you
It wasn't me

I'm on my knees
I shouldn't be
You went too far
Farther than me
Why is stone
As tough as me

I'm on my knees
I can't believe
Blood is my sweat
I'm not me
This isn't real
Because stone doesn't bleed

Picture Perfect
Black and white
Ruin it
It's alright

I can make another one

Picture perfect
Colours bright
Ruin it
It's alright

I could take another shot

Picture perfect
Everything combined
Ruin it
It's alright

I'll do it again till I get it right
Because
One of these days
I'll get it right.

A perfect picture.
Showing
A slightly less
Perfect life.

Simple words of wisdom
Are usually complex riddles.

Simple words of advice
Are usually no help.

Simple words of a song
Are usually meant for someone.

Simple words of a poet
Usually, mean more than you see.

So simple words,
Are never really very simple.

I wish I was trapped in a storm
It's better than being trapped in my head

I wish I couldn't hear myself think
My thoughts consume me, I'm about to sink

I wish I couldn't feel
I'd rather be numb, a feeling so surreal

I wish it was loud, and noisy
Lost in the silence, it's scary and empty

I wish they'd stop fighting
Maybe then I'd start smiling

I ruin everything.
Including me.
I can't be better.
I can't raise the bar.
I've already destroyed it.

I put up pictures on my wall...
Black and white
Just like this
Life
But then I
Realized
That none of them
Were
Black and
White
Or the lonely
Type
Just
Shades of grey
Side by side
And then I
Realized
That even I
Look
Better
In
Grey.

A rope has two ends, a story has two sides.
But we only see one.