Cheated and defeated –
my mistakes, themselves, repeated...
A monster made of gluttony;
I’ve no option but to feed it.
I saw the writing on the walls,
But, my feeble eyes had failed to read it.
Still... I’m not convinced that this warning,
Was chosen by my eyes, not to be heeded.
Perhaps my head was the catalyst
A byproduct of an acid trip;
Had split this world in two.
Some for me, and some for you.
Maybe . . . this warning wasn’t meant for me.
Maybe . . . it’s for the second half of two.
“Ye kind-hearted shall not go forth”
… is what I believe it said,
But I can’t be too certain.
After all, I’ve lost my head.
Which brings up some emotions -
Or maybe, they’re allusions?
But, I can’t tell through the hallucinations
If these are real or illusory movements.
So the fish hook pulled me deeper . . .
All the while, stretching skin.
I knew not about the rabbit hole
to which I just dove in.
It seemed a lot more like an alley when I first took a glance,
Once I took a second step, I guess I chose to dance.
Oh, what a performance it’s been!
And we haven’t yet hit intermission!
Although, I’m not sure when that is…
As I seem to have lost my vision.
The Queen of Hearts shouted,
“Off with his head!”
But without a brain to notice,
I couldn’t hear what she had said.
She said it before the guillotine dropped…
So was my brain already gone
When my head hit the block?
I’m not sure where to find the pieces.
I didn't know I fell apart.
I didn’t know
I was a headless servant
To the heartless
Queen of Hearts.
Now, without a head,
I’m trying to piece it back together.
And I’m worried that this rabbit hole
just may have me trapped here forever.
So, I’ll trace my steps backward, to try to find my "forward."
But as I set my pace faster, I find I'm moving slower.
Things turn upside down, when you’re this far down . . .
And the carousel just spins – around and around.
Gaining speed, with increasing malice
I hopped right on
And chose a different path than Alice.
Here we arrive again at choice, but was it one at all?
This is when I found the Hatter – where the bounds of logic fall.
He asked me why I was there.
He said, “My boy, have you gone mad?”
And as I searched for reason,
I concluded that I had.
Standing on the ceiling,
we both watched the world, twirling.
Sipping from our cups,
between the stirs of sterling.
We chatted over tea, and while I was now content with spinning . . .
My content grew simultaneous
with the Cheshire Cat’s grinning.
He looked at me and said,
“Upside down, yet, you seem alright?”
I responded with a “Hm…”
and my spinning turned to flight.
I flew from the table and
As I questioned if I was stable,
I grasped for the air.
And for the first time . . .
I was able.
Apart from the question, I now knew that I was mad,
Because I gripped a fist of air,
knowing full-well it can’t be grabbed.
I swung through the air…
maybe I flew . . . I’m not sure.
But as I passed over ground, I surveyed it for Her.
I looked for Alice as my guide,
but someone took her place:
The "heartless" Queen of Hearts
and her over-sized face.
Was it the face? Or just the head?
What’s ahead without a face?
It seems I lost the bounds of logic
upon my fall from grace.
Was I flying?
Or was I falling?
It seems that orbit was my calling . . .
Where, as high as I fly,
the paradox of orbit keeps me falling.
Maybe I’ll stay out here, where it’s quiet by the stars
And there’s no signs to read;
no catalysts for scars.
But did I ever escape?
Am I still in the hole?
I found among these fragments
the completion to my soul.
Somewhere between falling and flying,
I told the truth while I was lying
And found my equilibrium
between the living and the dying.
"Bad Luck: In a Wakeful Contradiction" is now available on Amazon in paperback!