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Nov 2018 · 357
Sarah Isma Nov 2018
I shouldn’t complain my loneliness,
because it is all self-applied,
The feelings i want to nourish,
They were all made up of such lies,
For it was i who imagined to be yours,
And it was i who longed to be loved,
The joy of wanting a partner,
I pretend to smile at you through a mirror,
I was foolish enough to let these emotions get to my head,
Although in some aspects I don’t think we have ever properly met,
In the distance of your glory all that i see,
Was another fate that was just not meant to be.
I guess i enjoy spending my saturday nights occasionally watching romantic comedies and reading jane austen, just squeezing my lonely heart unconsciously in pain, why do i enjoy it? I have no idea, but I can’t complain about it too much, if I’m able to dig this unnecessary thoughs up, then i should be able to fill back.
Aug 2018 · 2.9k
Sarah Isma Aug 2018
Now there goes another friend,
Who decided she was better off on another land,
She flew without saying goodbye,
Because if she said she’d miss me
it’ll be a lie,
It was heartbreaking to see,
When someone you love start to leave,
But there is nothing i can do,
When our something isn’t meant to be,
I watch with sullen eyes,
And i choke my tears behind,
Because i don’t understand,
Just how some people can be so unkind,
But that’s just the way the world works,
And these unkind things
will continue to lurk,
Not giving a **** about who then,
would get really, truly hurt.
2/8/18, i was cut off by a friend. She wouldn’t tell me why, she left without a proper goodbye. We said our thanks for beings friends, even if it was just for a little while. Id be lying if it didnt hurt, bit i cant change or beg for her to stay, because as much as i want her to, she wouldn’t want it to. Maybe we’ll see again in the future, maybe not.

... im used to it now, but this time i guess I shouldn’t be too attached. They leave, and i have to adapt.
Aug 2018 · 702
Our first hello(w)
Sarah Isma Aug 2018
‪and soon we all would forget,‬
These petty little thoughts,
When our mind wanders,
In places that shouldn’t be brought up,
Like in a memory we
Were walking down the streets
Of a gloomy Thursday evening
As we spent hours and hours
Just talking about our desires
Oh we went on and on
About our dreams and disasters
We had so much to aspire,
But that was already months ago,
As now i sat on my floor,
So i laid my head on my pillow,
And my heart starts to feel,
A little bit hollow,
My eyes start to see,
The dark sky outside my window,
I didn’t realize how time could be so shallow,
Taking my precious moments away,
God, why am i feeling so mellow?
Oh how I wanted you back, boy,
Back to where we said our very first hello
Ive spent a year in college and lets just say i couldnt escape the reality of acidentally falling in love with someone, and now he’s graduated but i still got a year to go but it seems forever. And its only been a few months since i last saw him, since we had our talks, our quirky exchange, i wish at least he would know how i felt about him when i thought we could just be friends but... i guess i was lying to myself big time.
(This is also a song originally, its melody reminds me so much of him because he plays the guitar so well and i can only keep up with my ukulele :)
Jul 2018 · 452
Sarah Isma Jul 2018
i was fine,
until you came,
then my world fell from its frame,
though you never talked to me,
nor even spared a glance at me,
so i guessed,
you never cared that much about me,
as weeks were flying by,
and i thought of saying goodbyes,
i wanted to walk away
from your life,
but for some god forsaken reason,
you said: hi, how’s your day?
i thought it was **** but said:
now it’s kinda okay...
back to our story where,
we could have been,
something special,
something sweet,
a pair to be cute to mention
but that’s just me,
in my fantasy,
because i know,
you’re with that girl,
who’s prettier...
than me.
this was actually a song i made, it had a tune and melody but now when it’s in written form i can’t shake off the rhythm and the sound of my ukulele when i read it. however it is, im satisfied with how this piece turns out, a short story about my college love life. Kudos to you, boy.
Jul 2018 · 1.3k
Turning out to be me
Sarah Isma Jul 2018
i would like to thank my parents,
for raising the best liar,
for teaching me to not give in to my desires,
for showing me that this world is an open fire,
that i am just walking through the shooting grounds,
that i am just trying to make it past the bounds,
that for some reason i showed you my accomplishments,
but in the end you ask if that’s ever going to be enough
they say strict parents raise the best liars, and for once i realize that it’s true. It’s become a thing, a sort of addiction, that lies easily flow through, and deceit seems to be my best personality. I’ll change, i’ll try, and i hope someday i’m able to tell them the little truth hidden behind this huge lie.
May 2018 · 9.7k
My Name
Sarah Isma May 2018
Day by day you'd pass me by,
and at a time i'd think
it's a norm seeing you smile
I said hi but today
you replied with my name
For a second then,
i never realized that my heart would beat
a little bit faster than it usually did,
I never thought
How good it sounded coming from you
and i never realized
how everyday was like that after,
i'd be falling slowly,
a little bit deeper than i should be,
deeper in love with you
of course there is this boy, in which i think may become a series, where we met and i thought he was handsome but i thought id never get anywhere with him but as time goes by he started talking to me, and acknowledge me and until one day, he said my name, far from the crowd- just to make me say hi to him back. I feel like im starting to swim in dangerous waters now
May 2018 · 378
Sarah Isma May 2018
This is the end of our childhood
and loss of innocence,
A kid grown but stuck young in the state of mind,
We are responsible yet reckless,
We are bright but almost always
never right,
We are so free yet chained to these
**** awful lies.
i'm still not over the capability of myself knowing that i- can't ever go back to when things were as they was. I have to move on, grow up and leave things behind. I can't be in my own paradise forever because... i just CANT
May 2018 · 38.1k
Plane en route to adulthood
Sarah Isma May 2018
I’ve now grown and I turned out alright
But one day I came to realize
That this was not a smooth flight
And the scary things that I saw
Is the reason why I held on to my seat so tight
Now here are the few things
That made me hate this horrible, terrible ride
        The fact once you realize
that your parents are sometimes never right.
To see that they are flawed beings, with broken wings and ****** mistakes.
To realize the truths and the smiles they fake,
Growing up to see only the image portrayed- was only for your sake.
They hide the tears and shower us with laughters
They told us joyful stories and happily ever afters,
But just as soon as i grow
Only now that I understand they were telling their own dreams,
        That had slipped right out their fingers
So ask me what’s the saddest part growing up?
To see the hollow sadness from the two people,
who once i thought was happiest.
i never really knew how much things could effect parents, the slightest action i could now see their subtle response- i understand now. Its just the fire in them burning out, only dim enough for them to keep me going- so i don't burn out too.
Dec 2017 · 425
why it never worked
Sarah Isma Dec 2017
If the two poeple love each other
The’ll create their own fire
Of burning love, of powerful trust, of intense faith… and of hope,
And sometimes when the fire is ignited and they shine in ablaze of love and affection
The end always results in them of burning each other… and what makes of love always hurt…
But the question remains: would you burn for love?
Take risks and fall for them
and trust that they will catch you?
and that even if they don’t catch you, would you still fall again?

That’s what love does,
it breaks us, burns us
but just keep that hope and faith inside of you
Because you will be okay
and get back up and try again and again and again
and once you’ve met the one
then you will understand
why it never worked
with anyone else
you hate him, you hate him so much because every right he's done has always been wrong and you're much better off without him.. and months have passed and it's been quiet, you met Someone Else and it was calm. It became much calmer day after day until your acclaimed love finally burnt out... or was it alive ever? Someone Else left, and you kept wondering if this is it for you, that being alone is what you need... then you saw him again, just across the street to your house, and he has a *** of white lilies in his hand because he knows that's your favorite and you think to yourself. Maybe crazy is what it is and i hate him but that... that is why you love him, because he cares, and you understand why no one else was ever gonna replace him.

this is an old one i found in my book, i wished i still had that much faith.
Nov 2017 · 364
Sarah Isma Nov 2017
I sometimes forget
that parents were once teenagers too,
Ones that would sometimes break rules and casually say *******,
I sometimes forget
that parents also dream,
Ones that would imagine breathing at the top and proudly be in their realm,
I sometimes forget,
that parents have feelings,
Ones that would lie awake at night and thinking they're horrible beings,
I sometimes forget,
that parents get scared,
Ones that would fear if they aren't able to get food on the table and unprepared.
I sometimes forget,
that i take my parents for granted,
that life had never really given them what they wanted,
and think that ****,
I could never not love my beautiful parents.
it’s um, it’s quite a common thing don’t you think? They were kids before they we’re our parents, we often forget that. I could never pay them back of what they have given me but i swear i will try my best to give them what they deserve.
Nov 2017 · 597
like adele
Sarah Isma Nov 2017
I've always loved adele,
her music, the tones and melodies,
the way the words in her lyrics work so well,
I was fifteen,
she was my soul,
until my family sat silent in the car,
and a tear goes down my mother's cheek,
and my father's hands gripped the steering wheel,
that's when adele came on,
and how fire was set to the rain,
i had never really understood the pain,
but i know one thing,
adele was singing about going away,
and my mother had her ticket ready for the next plane,
and in that moment i realized,
love, no matter in marriage,
love is just such a foolish game.
-i promised myself i won't let it blind me,
and for i will never be truly the same.
"But there's a side to you
That I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say
They were never true, never true
And the games you play
You would always win, always win" -set fire to the rain, adele
this much i knew how my parents are burning and how it left scars on all of us, and not just them.
Nov 2017 · 182
You Are
Sarah Isma Nov 2017
what a coward you are,
you say yourself a man yet you can't walk across the room to get your own clothes,
you hardly take care, your disheveled hair you say it's a style,
might i misheard you but i swear it's not it,
you hide behind mum for whenever things get rough,
ah but still you break her heart,
and i am angry,
angry that she lets you break her heart piece upon piece,
shred her money dollar after dollar,
and tear this house brick after brick,
you are a selfish man indeed,
as for once i thought i could count on you and look up as if you are my own hero,
a brother who i could admire,
but no,
as the day you've swung your fist at me,
the day you've dared to hold a knife in front of me-
swearing one day that you'd **** me,
you are not a man,
and you have never been my brother,
you are vile,
i see either death could only change you otherwise.
this is... very personal. A piece for something i hate, though i wish things would change.
Jan 2017 · 438
Your Promises
Sarah Isma Jan 2017
Could you cover me,
From the blinding lies
The deafening silence
And swallowing darkness?

Will you hold me
So I won't fall,
Break into pieces
And shatter my already fragile heart?

Lastly can you promise me,
to say you won't promise me these lies again,
So I won't fall for another heart break,
And the risk is just too much to take
because you've had
Too many
Second chances
He's not worth it this time, I know that much now.
Jan 2017 · 1.6k
Yellow Dress
Sarah Isma Jan 2017
She's pretty
In that yellow dress
She wears the one
Just like mine
The flowers designed
Makes her eyes shine
So I sat behind
Because I know
And the people know
And he knows
That she wears that dress
Better than I ever did.
It's not always fair in life and I learned that the hard way
Nov 2016 · 706
Sarah Isma Nov 2016
one, two
one, two
Train yourself, steady,
one, two...
Whenever you feel like everything is ending
Take one, two...
Whenever you think that nothing is working
Take one, two steps back and
Because it's one thing to suffocate on fear,
But another to realize that you can take
one, two, three steps back and...
And figure out you still have enough air to change the atmosphere.
i've been at the top of my limits lately and i thought of falling over at most times at for once I id fall and turned into a pool of chaos. Everything didn't seem right and all i thought to do was cry. and I did. And I took a deep breath, and realized that it's not *over*. Try getting back up, you'd never know what you can handle until you actually handle it. Take my steps, one, two... breathe.
Oct 2016 · 451
A Call #1
Sarah Isma Oct 2016
Can you hear me?
Ha, of course you can
but you don't listen.
Thank you for caring.
Someone is always there to hear and nod their heads when I'm talking to them, but it's not like I don't know what they think, that they'd rather be somewhere else. Sorry for interrupting.
Oct 2016 · 498
Just Am
Sarah Isma Oct 2016
That's just it
you get it, you get what I mean
but at the same time
you don't
I know where I stand right now
but i just don't know if i can hold up anymore
that all these responsibilities are just a part of life
you said
That we'd make it through together
but that was all a lie
Because I saw you shatter
and break
and fall into pieces.
If the person I look up to the most is actually the weakest
then I'll prove it to you
that from now on I will try my best
to be your strongest.
I had a rough day and I had someone to comfort me when I was at my lowest and he made me smile in my sleep. I didn't think that only then I'd woke up at 2am to find him crying outside my bedroom door. I didn't sleep after that, and I never really found out why I was never there for him, because I thought nothing would've break him. I guess we're all human.
Sep 2016 · 820
Being Kid
Sarah Isma Sep 2016
I don't think
that I have a voice
I mean,
I have one, I'm not mute.
But, everyone keeps ignoring me
and brush off my words,
it kind of makes me wonder,
If i even have a voice.
Sometimes I just need someone to hear me out,
At least respond to my hellos
And maybe then
I'd know that I'm not actually mute
It's probably not just me, but i bet every kid stuck in an adult body feels the same way.

— The End —