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Feb 2020 · 236
Grief
Kartikeya Jain Feb 2020
Grief doesn't have an expiry date.
So if it hits you in the guts
everytime you hear her name,
grieve and feel every emotion
it evokes in you.
You have every right to
not disregard it.
Kartikeya Jain Jul 2018
Perhaps,
the grass will never know
the joy of flowing in the wind.
It's too stubborn to let go.
It's too arrogant to know
that the earth holds it,
not the other way round.
Jun 2018 · 453
Her body
Kartikeya Jain Jun 2018
Her body.
the only wonder
of the world
I wanted to visit.
the smudged mascara,
the rosy moist lips,
the sheets on the floor,
the only mess
I ever wanted to create.
Oh, my heart!
May 2018 · 510
The way you loved me
Kartikeya Jain May 2018
There's nothing
that a bottle of
whiskey couldn't
make me forget

except
the way you loved me.
May 2018 · 791
Erasing her memory
Kartikeya Jain May 2018
How do you forget
the first time
she smiled for you
the first time
she held your hand
the first time
she cried in your arms
the first time
you looked at each other
and froze in the moment
the first time
you knew what love was.

Can the moon
erase the sun
off its memory?
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
For you,
I would die
a thousand deaths
if you
would just let me
live one
with you.
Apr 2018 · 370
Carving in my heart
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And I do not intend to
carve your name on stones
and make you my god
but I do intend to
carve it in a corner
of my heart so that
whenever blood would
rush through my veins
you are the first thing
my heart would remind me of.
Apr 2018 · 1.4k
My sunshine
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And did I tell you
about how the
sunflowers
you painted on my skin
crave for you
every morning
yet the winter
never ends.

Where are you, my sunshine?
Apr 2018 · 288
The less the better
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
The less the better.

hatred.
pain.
distance between
your lips and mine.
Apr 2018 · 368
Greater wars
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And tomorrow
when you wake up
do not be afraid
to embrace the
empty side of your bed
and tell your heart
there are greater wars
to be won.
Apr 2018 · 270
You were my only wish
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And I had no need
for wishing upon
falling stars
because you are all
I wished for
and you are here.
Apr 2018 · 442
Only you know yourself
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Never apologize for
being who you are.
Only you know the
depth of the ocean
you took a dive in.
Apr 2018 · 415
Made of water
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Bruised.
Beaten.
Thrashed.
Yet,
you remained soft.
I think you
are made of water.
Apr 2018 · 278
The night never ends
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Imagine.
You. Me.
The stars.
You humming
your favorite song.
No air between us.
The night never ends.
Apr 2018 · 645
Time to turn the page
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Have you ever stared
at a blank piece of paper
for so long
it starts turning into
a concert of unanswered questions
posed by a teenager
who is awakened
about his sexuality
which was long repressed
under the secrets
he was asked to keep
the things he had to hide
the pain he slid under the carpet
with a smile on his face
he was no snitch
he liked keeping
the paper blank
he was a good boy
who could keep things with him
the boy was in deep sleep,
that boy, he was in deep sleep,
and now he is awake
he knows what he lost
he knows what's good and
what's bad
he knows
the world will question him
why he didn't speak earlier
why now
why now
why now
the world will eat him up
but he knows at this point
nothing matters to him more
than what he lost
than what is ahead
give me my childhood
give me my childhood
give me my childhood
he screams
he stutters
he cries
I am done
I am awake
I am free
it's time to color this page black
it's time to turn the page.
Apr 2018 · 326
Music to my ears
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Every morning
I wake up to
my songs entangled
in her hair
and she flicks them
like how strong waves
fall into the ocean.
M U S I C to my ears.
Apr 2018 · 256
She keeps my poems alive
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
When spring arrives
she brings my poems
to life.
What's this love
that even in fall
when death arrives
she becomes a part of me
and my poems never die.
Apr 2018 · 283
Let her go
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And there is
no point in
swimming in a water
that's too deep for you.

Let her go.
Apr 2018 · 266
In search of me
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
You,
the wave of a
calm ocean.
I,
the ground beneath
the surface.
Oh how you pull
the sand apart
in search of me.
Apr 2018 · 242
We meet in the fallen night
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
You,
the sunset of a
roaring mountain.
I flow
like valleys
for your last glimpse
as we meet in
the fallen night.
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
you deserve love
served on a
bed of roses,
do not, I repeat,
do not
settle for the thorns.
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
these bones that you carry
buried under deep sorrow
that a child feels upon
losing his favorite toy
the euphoria of silence
that a woman feels upon
the loss of her love
the creeping insomnia
that a painter feels upon
losing faith in his art
the music plays like fire in his ear
that a poet feels upon
the loss of words
someone holding him down by the hair
that a mother feels upon
the loss of her child
she screams there is no greater pain
these bones that you carry
you were only supposed to bury.
Apr 2018 · 249
Nothing between you and me
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Come near.
Let me set the
winds aside.
Let me stop the time.
Let me calm the oceans.
Let me look at you
for once
where there's nothing
between you and me
but our
Ice cold breaths.
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
In every nook,
In every corner,
In every person,
I kept searching for her.
Oh this ******* urge
to be home.
Apr 2018 · 475
Sacrifice is pity, not love
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Giving others
the roses of your life
while holding them
by the thorns
is sacrifice
and
sacrifice is pity, not love.
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Until her scars
are ingrained
on the texture
of your skin,
Until her pain
flows through
the cracks of
your bones,
do not tell me
you love her.
do not tell me
she is your home.
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Would you believe me
If I told you
everytime you
said a wish
upon a loose eyelash,
it flew and became a bird?

-would you let your dreams fly?
Apr 2018 · 235
Will you wait for love?
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Love will touch you.
If not today,
then tomorrow.
It only asks you to
Wait.
Apr 2018 · 356
Borne off massacres
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And she was a city
borne off massacres
stuck on the idea that
only love could heal her.
Apr 2018 · 328
That's how tragedies start
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Imagine.
You.
Young in love.
Nothing to lose
but your heart.
That's how tragedies start.
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
What if
I promise
to find you
in each dimension
and love you the same,
would you still tell me
I'm not enough?
Apr 2018 · 352
How flowers bloom
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
rub sunshine in your heart
bathe your soul in the ocean
sing songs for your bones
feed the moon to your eyes

That's how flowers bloom.
Apr 2018 · 1.0k
Wearing her
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Every once
in a while
I would take
off my body
and wear her.
I never looked better.
Apr 2018 · 217
War with self
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
And love someone
only until
you have to go to war
with your own self.
Apr 2018 · 258
How love leaves
Kartikeya Jain Apr 2018
Do you
DO YOU
also look at
the petals of flowers
fall one by one
and think
that's how
love leaves?
Mar 2018 · 726
Three little words
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
Darling,
you're much more than
those three little words.
Mar 2018 · 1.1k
Crying is Okay
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
Do you see
the generation today,
my generation struggling
emotionally
having jarred into their heads
that it's not okay to cry
that it's not good to cry
that it's going to be alright
if you would just stop crying
if you would just wipe the tears off
that crying is for the weak (oh my son is not weak)
that crying wouldn't help
that crying is for the enemies
my generation
was served a lie on the platter
and we gulped it down
our throats without a thought
so that if we ever choke with tears
we'd gulp the lie over and over again
but mothers and fathers
look yourselves in the eye
and tell me if shedding a few tears
didn't turn down your grief
and tell me if shedding a few tears
made you any less a man
made you any less a woman
made you any less a human
Mothers and fathers
look your children in the eye
and tell them
crying is just another emotion
that has the ability
to sit down with your heart
in moments of grief
and be the friend
it needs the most.
tell them
crying is for the strong
crying is for those who feel
crying is for everyone
tell them
crying is okay.
crying is good.
Mar 2018 · 245
Never give up on love
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
Listen to me,
Never give up on love.
Even if you break down to a point where
you can hear the cracks in your bones
yearning for the sunshine because they've been in the dark too long.
Even if you break down to a point where
your can hear your lungs gasping for breath and all they wanna do is take a walk in the ocean.
Even if you break down to a point where your poems only speak the language of pain because they've been taken away from the moon.
I want you to keep
your hand on your heart
and repeat
there's always love
there's always love
there's always love
until you give up on the idea
that you can give up on love.
Mar 2018 · 273
Only her smile
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
And what I see in her
is beyond the moon
for she doesn't need rain
to form rainbows
but only her smile.
Mar 2018 · 466
I was my peace
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
Once
I used to stay
on the second floor
of a worn out building
which had only half a window
and a small view of the
nearby quiet street
which had one tea stall
where worked Raju,
the boy in striped pajamas.
There wasn't a day
when he wouldn't smile
or sing his favorite
Kishore Kumar songs.
There wasn't a day
when he wouldn't get
beaten up by the owner of the shop
for breaking a glass or two
when he would bring back
the empty ones spellbound
by the tunes of Lalita aunty,
the 70 year old classical singer
living on the ground floor.
There wasn't a day
when he slept on a nice warm bed
instead of the footpath
adjoining the shop.
I would always wonder
about the secret of his happiness
and everytime I would ask him
he would laugh and tell me,
some other time.
Time passed and
I moved to another city
trying to find my peace
between changing jobs
and finding love
and all this time
I would wonder
what made Raju so happy
so one day I went back there,
handing Raju a 10 Rs. Note
and told him,
today I'm not here for the tea,
I am here for the secret.
Before Raju could say
some other time
I told him
not this time.
Raju smiled, sat beside me, and
said - "I am content with what I have. My mother loves me. I am helping my sister study to become a doctor. There's not been a day that I didn't have food to eat. I have all I need - family and love. I am sure you'll find your peace one day."
After that day,
I stopped searching for peace
in all the places it wasn't there
because it was always inside me.
I was my peace.
Mar 2018 · 254
It's only human to be human
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
One day
I met a man
tall, lanky, and grey.
He would smile
if someone looked at him,
his hands moving
in every direction
when he would talk,
his legs shivering
from the weight
of his shoulders.
He would fidget
with his clothes
trying to perfect them,
scratching his beard
picking it apart
hair by hair,
sweating his heart out
sitting in an
air-conditioned room,
but his eyes,
his eyes had something.
As if,
they were tired
from the all grief
he had been carrying
not shedding any
part of it
as if a mannequin
came to life,
As if,
his eyes were tired
of the weight of
the tears he had been
carrying all this time.
He learned all his life,
how to be a good man,
how to be a good son
how to be a good friend,
but one thing he couldn't learn,
how to face his grief.
One thing he couldn't learn
is how to be more human.
Because it's only human
to grieve, cry, and then
be able to feel other things.
It's only human
to be human.
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
This morning
I woke up
and thought
all my poetries
were over
but then I saw her
smiling in her sleep
and there it was,
love, yet again.
Mar 2018 · 244
Never your home
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
If her love
doesn't make you stay
maybe,
it was never your home.
Mar 2018 · 272
In your love
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
Everyday,
moment by moment,
I grow strong
in your love.
It is a reminder that
once
I was weak.
Mar 2018 · 338
A girl made of flowers
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
One day
I met a girl
bloomy and tall
she wore sunshine
in her eyes
her hair prisoners
of the wind
and when she smiled
the moon arrived
yet when she cried
her tears resembled
petals, soft and purple
I think she was
made of flowers.
Mar 2018 · 388
She's fire
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
And everytime
I put my arms
around her,
I burn.

- Oh, she's fire.
Mar 2018 · 373
Closest to love
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
And when you leave
I want you to
put your lips onto mine
one last time.
It is the closest
I'll ever feel to love again.
Mar 2018 · 242
She is the storm
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
On some days,
she is the calm
amidst the storm.
On some days,
she is the storm.
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
Trauma made you
what you are.
But do not let trauma define
who you are.
Mar 2018 · 393
Rumi's land
Kartikeya Jain Mar 2018
And I always wonder
about the land
Rumi talked about.
I have a feeling
we met there.
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