I wont be *******
Won't stay where happiness is lost
Will be free from anger soup
Finding my escape route

I stay won't stay angry
I just want to be emotionally free
All the fussing and fighting
Ain't that much it's providing

Because I know I can't stay *******
No way
Not today

So much of me is hard to see
Through all this debris
Thoughts that told me
No substance will ever control me
Thinkin' I'm finer than wine
So why not drink it all the time

So much of me is hard to see
Through slurred words
And fallen battles
Insecurities whittled down
To just shakes and rattles

So much of me is hard to see
Through lovers quarrels
Soon sadness feels normal
Then one comes by
To put that twinkle back in your eye
To give you back your WHY

So much of me is hard to see
Through it all I ask politely,
"Please help me."

Do what it takes
Make the best of your s*#t cake

Do what it takes
Break what you break
Even your own hearts

Yes, you do what it takes
So you don't shake
Away
From another full day

Do what it takes

This empire's time
Is now to be built
Drop all the games
Forgive all the guilt

Distractions
Inactions
All the illogical, "The fact is this."

These are the days of
Witches who ride lions
With marvelous wardrobes

These are the times my empire rose

Be strong
Do whatever suits you even if it's wrong

Make your choices
Hold them firm
Soon  you will learn

Who you need to be
Yourself
Boldly

Every night
Sleeping with the fears
Every morning
Pillow soaked with tears

I can't survive
Unless you're next to me

**** yourself for me
Let yourself be free
Let yourself go
Only you and I will know

These are the places we will go
The places that that hurt
Degrading your worth
Don't you know you are not worth it

You will never be enough without it
Use it
Abuse it

Never quit.

Baked: cherry lives
Cobbled: peaches of swallow
Marrow of bone
Sad cries to follow

Watermelon water works
My heartsong is calling to ease the hurt
But these grape escapes
I often take
Get me running wild and late

Oh cherry lives
And peaches of swallow

Cherry lives
And peaches of swallow

Fruits of labor
Won't always bring high favor
Works of mind
Moreover do they matter
Skulls so thick
Like Granny Smiths

Cherry lives
And peaches of swallow

I feel close to losing
Him because I'm to tough too be with
I am sorry and I'll miss him
But I won't fight him.

Because love  hates to fight
Unless it's for something that's right

So let go of your
Ego
or Let go of Him

Yeah I am wrong sometimes but who isnt at times

So scared
With unfounded fears
Filling me
I don't want to **** myself
So win back myself
My future for my greed
Focus full force
I need all 18 holes
On this golf course

Help Yourself
Do nothing else
But Self Care

Give knowledge a fair shake
Give it the time it takes
Wake-up early and refuse to be late
Lend yourself
To eating well
Speaking with purpose
And believing you are
Stronger than the fail
Be kind
And remember to exercise

Help yourself
Then help everyone else

I barely feel useful
Fat and Not Beautiful
Anymore
***** I'm Verging on Poor
All I Know is I Gotta'
Do Better
Do What it Takes,
Whateva'

I Am Done Feeling
Useless and Unbeautiful

Look to the light
Learn how to live right
Trust this system of
Love, peace, patience and tolerance
Lead with it
No need to **** with it
You can't, not possible

All you can do is be better than
You thought possible
So look to the light
Learn from your mistakes
Know how to live right

Fight Like It's Over
Fight Like Your Losses
Will Always Be Your Wins

Forgive Yourself
For The Pain
Do Not Refrain
Instead
You Fight Like It's Over

Solemnly Swear That You
Will Make This
Worth While
So Fight Like It's Over

With little will
Will I commit
A crime that
equals a **** Who has the  will to permit
**** ME
will me to die before  I am able to find my thrill
In this  life before
i **** **** ****.
do you have the will?

****** ME
Make Me See
Who I should be.
Who unsheaths me
For I ain't Free until The ****** Od life has
MADE ME

Love life and toials with Stife
Deals with Strife
Say, "**** all." to life

Human Kindness
Will
NEVER Find Us
If We Do Not Put
PAIN
Behind Us
RIOT
&
YELL.

When Will it In
No One Can Tell

Not beautiful enough
Not brave enough
Not smart enough
I'm just so tired

Of not feeling

I am not enough
Anxiety keeps me in tangles
My heart is loud

Feeling still

In mangles

If I'm sounding shrill
It's time
To breathe
So deep
A **** so strong

Heart beat
Help me
From this Gran Mal Seize

Give me something

Something

I need release

It's in my fantasy

I feel like I'm not enough
And in enough time
You'll fall into love
With someone else.

On the train
On me
To exhale
To believe
For a change to come
For tomorrow

Waiting
Is dependent

On action
On Circumstances

Which one are you
Waiting
On
?

Take the time
To be better then fine

Be happy and content
Doing saddest with intent

Play with the rainbows
Bend over backwards

Where oh where has my confidence gone
Self worth absent
Peace of mind is hardest to find
Compare and contrast
Quite the blast


Blast to my security
The one inside of me
These consistent kicks tc confidence
Needs to STOP hindering my thought process
DROP the ego, give it a rest
And ROLL in The Red Carpet and jewels

For the Self-Worth Gala
As it begins
So I too may begin
To win from within

Clearly I see
That my diligent Ego
Ran Me into Me
Mad cop versus Good Cop

Clearly I seek
A real life
Where Me is a fan of Me again
Where I am not my undoing
Instead, I am my best asset
My best friend.

Grow the friend up
Friend find her within

You were this
You did that
You were an Active addict

Now you're car-full
From your foolishness

Now Fix her
The friendship from within

Be respect
Give up ego
Stop fronting
Acting like Migos

SHOW THAT CONSISTENT KINDNESS

It is the time

Yes, Indeed
My Melanin
Is rich, deep
Dark
Yet, not from within

Phat bottomed
Men, it's the hardest
To stop them
From gawking
And talking

I don't twerk
I work
Hard
Far
And Smart

So please do not be alarmed
For Yes, I am Black,
But Love is the only thing
That'll ever throw you
Off guard

Yes, what you see
Is indeed that you feed

Weakness
Meekness
Beatnik
It's not a tale

It's my silk
Screen Scale

It's not a green light
Too hard to fight
Red, Green
back to yellow

Wished of being yellow

It's like I'm just  a big kid
Who won't behave
I know I'm broken in this way

I am not the marrying kind
And I'm not fine
I don't need
Nor do I need to ever be
The One

Kicked out
Undone
Undid it again

You used to be my
Kin
My friend
But now look at what you did

You threw out all the
Faith
Said, "Find a new place."

So Yes, you want space
I will find my place

But you,
My now unfriend
Your shrill ways to get your fill
Will never mend
Never heal
Make you better
Safer
Smarter

Your shrill will be
Our end

I ain't mad

Your new shoes mood
Left me
Dishonored & bruised

To OUT on the street
Car comfy I'll sleep

While you act like
I've peaked

Enjoy your IN-crowd vibe
Look alive
I choose to
Rise
Thrive
Love derived

Because my unfriend
This will I got does not bend.

Hey little fiddle
I drink too much
You smoke too little

I met your mom
And your dad
Your little sister is EMOtional
Groundhogs day sad

I talk without reason
Left a bad man
For his treason

Let go of obscurity
To find the one thing I gotta be

Me

So hey little fiddle
Your moods swing from
Happy
Sad
Mad
American Rag-Tag
Glad

So play your notes
Take your tallies
I'll count votes

Hey little fiddle
Check out this finger
For you, right here
In the middle

It's not too crowded
Yet far too late in the day
For everyone to
React this way
It's not a sadness
It's a melancholy gladness

All this busy body bustle

STOP
   CLOSE lids
      And  just LISTEN

Don't Fret
Twist,
Wriggle,
Or shake
It's all you can take

You are not numb
Over blown or undone
You are One of Billions
In this crowd

Its about all I can take
This woolly MAMMOTH
Extinction at stake

You make me SICK
which flaw will I pick

Your upturned SMILE
with sadness drawn across
for miles

Your metallic
sanguine thick SICK

You are platinum
Numb
White gold WITHERED
Dumb

Metal breaks what
Sticks and STONES
Make

It's like we aren't even existing
It's like endless Insisting
To be alone
To postpone

All the
Heartbreak
How much more should I
Take

Back from love
Swirled into
Reality
It's what I was Supposed
To be

Prepared

Unlike rare steak
Pink inside
Full of just enough
Pride

Unprepared for the
Heartbreak
How much should I take

So you say PINK is the color of BLUE
Blue meaning me and You
Blood and tears sweat sadness from fears
I am full
Yet we are empty
Maybe it's just me

I'm a pink period monster
Who death had begun her

Death of Innocence
'Death of Silence
Death of Normalcy

Because between you and me
We can be free
PINK, red
Ice BLUE to undead

I am Heaven
I am Peace
Life Love
Fear
Hurt
Pain
Sadness

I am Sadistically Committed to Being Peacefully Happy

you yell at me for nothing
Making me feel something
Crass
and rude
Because of your moons

You have too many
Too much sip off the Henny

Yes I must confess
I am on the verge of being
Houseless

No, not homeless
Just without permanent residence
It is hardly a bother or source of much sadness
Once one remembers home resides
Inside filled with Love, Light
Times of Remembrance

I have not a  Chip
My heart tends to beat Skip

Bitten lower lip Quivers
Shaken bow Sharp Arrows
Archer Aimed Deadshot Insane

Sadness seams ripped to Smiles I Delivered
None the less soul shook to shiver
Sharpen up that attitude
For briefest of care for the endless brood

I do have some cracks
Spackle specked front to back
Sorrow shallowly sunk skin deep
Toddler to Teen to  Twenty-nineteen
Tirelessly testing Me

Broken Little Pieces
Have indeed befallen Me
But Here is the Trick to Treat
My Broken Little Pieces
Like Stem Cells
Not to be rid of
Instead held aside
to review
to reflect

For a Better You
Lies within even the Broken View

So Cracked, Chipped, or Broken
These are the Ingenium Gems Unspoken
Pressure Pressed, Stress and all the Mess
We Push, Plead, FIGHT  aloud
Broken Little Pieces

Mine Make Me Proud

My Motions are on E Again
No Ecstasy  
Free from Elation
End of Day
Bad Boss Back to Screaming

Loco is his Motion

It looks like I still need to take
Take a break
Take some time
Some time off
OFFicially me,  yes mine, My
My, ***, oh My
My sit down
Fix you crooked mouth
TIME
Time to take that Frown
Turn it UP-side-Down
To make it a Smile
That will LAST a a while.