I don't want anyone ever to hold me the way you do
     You make me feel okay, whole, through and through
           I don't want anyone to know my ****** expressions and voice like you
               I don't want anyone to know my family the way you do
                       I don't want anyone to understands my thoughts and reasons
                              I don't want anyone to understands my weird meanings
                                       I don't want anyone to ever know why I do what I do

I don't want anyone to know because that's something between me and you.
       I don't want anyone to make me laugh and be so mad at the same time.
               I don't want anyone else. No one knows who how much I want you to be mine
                      I don't know why part of me keeps ******-well lying!
                                I don't know why I can't give up! Is it because I'm trying to keep the thoughts of us together intact? A beautiful fantasy?! Doesn't matter! I still end up I finding myself trying!

I don't want to trust anyone the way I trust you.
         I don't want to love another the way I love you!

Her hair messy, plastered over her face by tears.
Her eyes red and puffy.
Her mouth open and screaming.
Her voice raw with pain.
Her throat dry and on fire.
Her arms feel anchored to her sides.
Her knuckles are ****** and swollen.
Her heart and her mind are bleeding with hope.
Her stomach feels like a can that's been crushed.
Her legs--think they're still there, she can't feel them.

I will not tell you anything that is wrong
My ****** expressions and tones will not betray
I will keep this up, I don't know for how long
I guess I'll keep doing this till you see I'm okay
Deep down I think you think I'm a lot to handle and I'm sorry.
I'm going to be the worlds most fake person and see where it gets me.

Do you actually have to have a reason to **** yourself? Why do you have to explain your reasons? What if you have none? Why would I tell you if I wanted to **** my self.

    Y o u   w o u l d   s t o p   m e

If you move on with someone else can I ask you of one small favour?

Delete me from your memory.

Delete me from your mind.

Delete my touch

Delete my laugh

Delete the taste of my lips

Delete the smell of my shampoo

Delete the tones of my voice and all my ****** expressions you've memorized.

Delete all my hopes and dreams.

I bared my soul to you. I need it back.. You moved on so I have to..in some way... Somehow.. Do the impossible and.. move on.. So please. Don't let me hurt anymore. Delete me.

I'm scared you'll run away If I tell you what is wrong
You can not promise you will stay
There's a pattern and I'm starting to catch on
You see, you'll act like you care
Everyone always does
But when you are needed you won't ever be there
So I turn to my drinks to feel that familiar buzz.

Being unwanted isn't new to me. Infact I was shocked to find myself on the verge of tears when I found out you don't want nor care about me. I hate what you do to me. I hate that you're my weakness and you don't give a ****. I hate that nothing I do fazes you. I hate you.

Dear Brain, what the **** were you thinking?!

Sincerely, Heart

Bob is my darkest shadow and only friend.
Bob is sometimes a bully that when I'm in bed at night sits on my chest making me feel as if im suffocating.
Bob makes me think things which --give it time-- I will believe.
Bob is the reason that I push people away and lie my *** off so even the most stubborn ones will leave.
Bob is also the reason I have one hand on my stomach clutching at the skin as if somehow that will make my stomach stop twisting and closing in on itself. The other hand on my mouth trying to muffle the sounds of my sobbing and the gasps as I run out of air and start choking on my tears.
Bob is my depression.
Bob is in no way my friend. But I can't get rid of Bob.

The morning I don't wake up,
Is the day you need to see
that you need to be brave
you never needed me.
Wipe those green eyes, the ones I came to know
I will always love you
please except I had to go.
Carry on your life I'll always be there watching as your dreams come true

Trying to write when your high is like throwing rocks into a lake and trying to remember what shape and color they were and how far you threw them.

She picked herself up and built her walls higher than ever before. But she added a door. A door that will either save her or **** her. Her heart is scared to trust but her gut is to confused to say anything. She is terrified but Inlove.

My dam is full and its about to break, it reached capacity this morning. Slowly for the past 3 months it's been filling up with emotions I never shared, my thoughts I never spoke and my actions in which I'm not sure if I should or shouldn't have done. Scared and helpless on what to do now; What is there to be done? No one to get supplies and help fix it. Do I even want to fix it? Why fix anything when theres no one that will need saving. The man who helped build this dam is working for a new girl now. As the **** breaks ill be standing on top, drinking liquor while painting pictures on my arm in red with a silver pencil.

Some dogs are big
Some dogs are small
Some dogs love to dig
Some dogs prefer their ball
Some dogs fight
Some dogs attack
Some dogs some dogs bite
Others have your back