Intzaar karte karte thak gaya Use vakt laga aaneme Ha mai vahi ruk gaya Use vakt laga aane me log last call pe recall karte rahe Use vakt lag Gaya call uthane me Subah saikado call dekh Kar msg aaya Kya baat hai, Kisine jabab diya, Vakt rahe to aa Jana janaje me Ro ro ke thak gayee, Mujhe sakhane me Kya Fark padata, log busy the jalane me Intzaar karte karte thak gaya Use vakt laga aane me
napowrimo day 5: “tanka 1” tanka is an ancient japanese poetic form, popular long before haiku, that mimics the first three lines of tanka. it’s structure is syllabic: 5,7,5,7,7, and doesn’t rhyme. traditionally it was written as one unbroken line, however americans prefer to write in 5 lines. the first three lines traditionally pose a question or conflict that the last two lines answer. in this poem i’ve inverted that structure. there, now you know more about tanka then you ever conceived you might!
You ask me if I want you out of my life, if you should go My only response is a stifled sob At this moment all I can do is cry. My head is at it again telling me what to do which is not much really. I am a prisoner inside of this body and when I am like this I hand all controls over like an obidiant child. I learnt long ago not to fight or argue because that only hurts people and by people I mean my thoughts and when I say thoughts I mean me. When I am like this I sit and I wait there’s nothing I can do nothing anyone can do except wait.
If I talk to you when I’m like this if I express my thoughts nothing will go right and I will just get hurt
When I'm alone I shake, I push people away and I hide from the world because I'm afraid I'm going to brake.
When I'm alone I think. I think so much that when I try to remember what I was originally thinking about I can't.
When I'm alone I don't let anyone talk to me. Then I hate myself for being such a burden to them. Why am I like this? Talk to me.
When I'm alone I can't take a shower. Because that involves moving. Doing something I don't want to do.
When I'm alone for too long I shut down. I turn off my iPod so you can't talk to me. I turn off my tv. I turn off my lights as if that will turn off my brain and I lay there. Not moving. Not thinking. No emotion just.... Laying in the pitch black, a corpse that breathes.
When I'm alone it's like going through withdrawal. Doctor says therapy but I say I like being happy. It's worth the pain.
When I'm with you I forget about this. I'm happy, I'm laughing and talking. I am addicted to you. You are my drug.
Loving you will **** me, but It's a price I will pay. To watch and see how it unravels, and what we say. Maybe we'll adopt some kids and be happy, Or i'll move on and get married some day. Perhaps, without you my love, I'll never know joy. All I know for certain is loving you will **** me someday.