When I think of happiness I think of yellow, but not just yellow. When I think of happiness I see tulips buzzing to life from all the bees that sang to them. I see rainbows and butterflies over a vast country land on a beautiful sunny day with horses neighing their hello's. The sight gives me a goofy feeling. This happiness, It's now tugging at the corner of lips, pulling them towards my ears until my cheeks hurt and then a sound of squealing as I reach a full blown excited-happiness overload
My heart is wrapped, suffocating in a thorn vine,
held prisoner by doubt in the darkest part of my mind;
Ambushed by my feelings and thoughts
it beats with purpose
Pounding, thrashing out as hard as it possibly can
knowing no bounds against my conscience
to win this endless battle.
She picked herself up and built her walls higher than ever before. But she added a door. A door that will either save her or kill her. Her heart is scared to trust but her gut is to confused to say anything. She is terrified but Inlove.
Love Waking up and texting him "Morninggg"
hoping your the first person to text him
Love Not being able to sleep until you know
he's safe in his room and not dead somewhere
because he loves to stay out late
Love Packing food not for you; no, for him
incase he hasn't eaten or for your sake gets
gets hangry eek!
Love Hoping, praying he starts the conversation
with you because you feel like you're always starting
them and bothering him because he's busy
Love Needing a hug from him and only him
(you wouldn't dare hug another guy) and only
feeling better when he hugs you because it's him
and he knows how you like your hugs
Love Explaining something with your hands flying
everywhere, speaking so fast you don't even stop to
think if he can understand you but this happens
a lot so you keep going and as your talking his face
changes to something of amusement and that makes
Love Not being able to hide anything from him
because he knows your facial expressions and the tones
of your voice all to well, yet you don't want to hide
but you also don't want to tell him what's wrong either..
Love A sudden loss of appetite just by thinking of him because
when I think of him I want to cry. I want to hate myself
more if even possible at this point, for leaving him out of
anger and stress because I push people away when I can't
think. But right now? It's all I can do. Is think.
An ache in my chest as if my heart is nailing boards into it, trying, using everything it possibly can find to help keep it intact, preparing, getting ready for the final break. The break that will not so easily if not ever, be fixed. like dropping a diamond on a granite
floor--that shatter, is what I might accidentally have made happen. I am the reason I will be dead. I am the reason my heart will be no more.
I don't want anyone ever to hold me the way you do
You make me feel okay, whole, through and through
I don't want anyone to know my facial expressions and voice like you
I don't want anyone to know my family the way you do
I don't want anyone to understands my thoughts and reasons
I don't want anyone to understands my weird meanings
I don't want anyone to ever know why I do what I do
I don't want anyone to know because that's something between me and you.
I don't want anyone to make me laugh and be so mad at the same time.
I don't want anyone else. No one knows who how much I want you to be mine
I don't know why part of me keeps bloody-well lying!
I don't know why I can't give up! Is it because I'm trying to keep the thoughts of us together intact? A beautiful fantasy?! Doesn't matter! I still end up I finding myself trying!
I don't want to trust anyone the way I trust you.
I don't want to love another the way I love you!
Her hair messy, plastered over her face by tears.
Her eyes red and puffy.
Her mouth open and screaming.
Her voice raw with pain.
Her throat dry and on fire.
Her arms feel anchored to her sides.
Her knuckles are bloody and swollen.
Her heart and her mind are bleeding with hope.
Her stomach feels like a can that's been crushed.
Her legs--think they're still there, she can't feel them.