they say that "a good friend feels good for the soul but a fake friend is a toxic drain"
i had the faith to say
that my best friend was loyal,
that my best friend was trustworthy,
that my best friend had a pure heart and soul,
that my best friend would never talk about me behind my back.
i believed that i could trust you with anything
yet, i had been played.
little did i know that
my life was wrapped in a **** lie.
we went from talking
until 2 am,
to 2 hours a day,
to 2 minutes a day,
to 2 days ago,
to not speaking at all.
my heart aches to watch my you leave me so suddenly
however, they say that
everything happens for a reason.
my mind tells me one thing but my heart tells me another;
either i try to regain our friendship and get hurt again
or completely remove you from my life.
one day i miss you dearly,
another day i have nothing but hatred towards you.
at the end of the day,
you had betrayed me.
you led me into a revolving door of disloyalty and constant lies
where i was trapped.
nobody hurt me the way that you hurt me.
i constantly ponder to myself..
was i lying to myself that we were true friends just to sense happiness?
i would sit and smile,
pretending that everything was okay
but eventually i revealed what was really underneath
my fake smile.
you left me crying myself to sleep at night.
i had to lie in my bed,
and sob quietly
so no one could hear me.
then the next day,
i acted like i was completely okay.
two years of our friendship and time thrown in the garbage...
"the one i thought i trusted
ended up being the one who stabbed me in the back,
lied and became that person who they said they wouldn't be.
i've been so different and i've been at my worst
because I've had people use me,
lie to me,
stab me in the back,
and put me down to the dumps"
surprisingly, you were the one who quoted this.
you were the one who truly left me hanging
and put me down.
i feel so stupid because i let my naive and innocent side of myself take over me.
my introverted self gave you the freedom to do whatever you wanted with my life.
i was willing to do anything for you,
as long as i pleased you.
i went too far where i let you manipulate me
as if i were your puppet
where you easily controlled me through your fingertips.
every friend i made,
every person i spoke to,
every person i sat with,
whatever i posted on social media,
was according to your will and orders.
you taught me a life lesson:
i learnt that no one could
ever manoeuvre me the way that you did.
from my number one to the one i can't even look at.
our friendship slipped out of our fingers
all due to betrayal...