My mistakes left deep marks on your heart
Each mistake has left a scar
Maybe this time I went too far
Maybe we were cursed from the start

My mistakes seem to follow a broken pattern
I feel neglected so infidelity happened
It left a dent in our beautiful passion
I pushed away my most beloved companion

My mistakes have left me bruised and broken
I know I've hurt you with my selfish actions
I'll do anything for a reconnection
Let me show you that you are still my ocean

The sound of starting over is all that I can hear

I needed to lose you in order to see clear

I know I was the one to leave and now I want to come back

Sometimes you need to lose it all to value what you have

The sound of starting over is like a brand new song

We wrote the lyrics perfectly but got the chords all wrong

The sound of starting over is the soundtrack of our love

I needed to lose you to know that you're my better half

When I see my best friend
I am reminded of the emptiness
When I take my last breath
I hope he knows
I would have been more than just his best friend

There is no help for this kind of pain
There is no understanding a heart this broken
There is no answer but eternal darkness
There is no conclusion other than escape
Somebody rescue me from this place

He couldn't love me because I was empty
So I injected myself with poison
Until I was overflowing

He couldn't love me because I was toxic
So I slashed my skin
Draining the poisonous blood out of my body

He couldn't love me because I was too unstable
So I took all my meds with a bottle of tequila
I felt my life fade away

At my funeral
He finally loved me
Simply because
I was gone

The blade feels cool against my skin
This place is so dark but strangely familiar
I pray for the courage within
To press down hard
To commit that fatal sin

The blade feels like home
The most morbid honesty I've ever known
Pain is something I can understand
Blood is a friend that I could keep around

The blade feels cool against my skin
This place is so dark but it's my reality
The blade feels cool against my skin
The blade will set me free

The darkness covers me like a shroud
All I can taste is rejection in my mouth
The two men that I love both let me down
Until the darkness covered all my expectations
Till I was drowning in the truth of all that I am lacking

The darkness covers me like a shroud
The blade used to help me
It used to release the pain
Now when I look at my razor blade train track scars
All I see is a body that I am trapped in
With no way out
No escape

The darkness covers me like a shroud
I dream of slashing my wrists until I completely bleed out
But I know my courage doesn't stretch that far
I pray one day it will stretch that far

The darkness covers me like a shroud
The two men that I love have shut me out
So now I'm dreaming of my final chapter
I'm designing myself an escape route

I know that you'll find someone eventually
I know that it will make this broken heart bleed
I know that you will love her forever
Instead of for just one night
I know you will not leave her unrequited

I know you'll find someone eventually
I'll pretend I'm happy for you
I'll never reveal the reality
I'll hug her, smile and pretend to be her friend
I'll hide my emotions so I don't lose you completely

I know that you'll find someone eventually
She'll be everything I'm not and more
She will give you her heart and you will give her yours
She'll be everything that you've been looking for

I know that you will someone eventually
I know that someone will never be me

I tasted the money in my mouth
A bitter transaction
A disgusting sensation
All problems can be solved with cash
What is your price?
What a sordid question
I tasted the money in my mouth
The sour taste of consumerism

I am more than I have ever been
I can hear somebody singing
Is that the sound of peace?
Is that the sound of a woman growing?

I am the girl inside the woman
I am the woman inside the girl
I was born into a world of men
I grew braver than ten of them

I am more than I have ever been
I am the strength inside the struggle
I am the hope inside the horror
I am the phoenix flying free

I am more than I have ever been
I was a prisoner, now I am queen
I can hear the sound of peace
I can hear the sound of a woman growing

Crucify me
You know that you want to

Hang me up
Next to all of my mistakes

While you hammer in those nails
I wonder

Will they crucify you with me?

Your intelligence is divine
Oh, what a beautiful mind

Your words are verbal medicine
Oh, there is no comparison

The formation of your ideas
Create a scintillating souvenir

Your intelligence is divine
Oh, what a beautiful mind

He tried to sing me a song called respect
I told him not to waste his breath

If he respected me at all
He wouldn't be trying to play god

I am a female by birth
The same way that he is a male
Sometimes this ****** is a curse
When he thinks that my body is for sale

I am not a female by choice
That decision was made for me
He tries to oppress my voice
Yet I rise above the cruel inequality

I am a female by birth
I am learning to live with it
This male dominating world
Will never crush my spirit

I am a female with poetic prowess
I am a female crafted in stoic strength

He crossed the line
Entering my life
He ignored my resistance signs
Avoiding all my female land mines
There were no explosions
There was no protection
He crossed the line
Desecrating my sacred shrine

I raced towards the finish line
Your golden trophy my constant drive
When I reached the end
I must confess
Your trophy was a golden lie

Truth has a tendency to be mistaken
Love is both as invisible and valuable as oxygen
Peace just happens to be friends with both of them

She begs him to stop
Her throat raw and aching
She scratches at his face
Her strength rapidly fading

The realisation is sudden
It hits her painfully enhanced
All control is lost
He's the one in command

She automatically retreats
Into the back recesses of her subconsciousness
Her body is no longer hers
She trusted the wrong man and this is the consequence

Her beauty is profound
Leaving me blinded and tongue tied

Her grace is majestic
Inspiring me to learn her secret language

Her intelligence is a sacrament
Enticing me to be baptised and take off my disguise

Her gaze is soul searching
Precipitating my inevitable spiritual rebirthing

Her beauty is profound
Leaving me enraptured and spell bound

Tiled Walls
Body Sore
Memories from the night before

Bathtub
***** stains
Bruises on your throat are a dead give away

Empty bottles
****** wrapper
You were sure before but full of regret after

Bathroom
Past noon
Time to put your mask on and face the news

Strength can come in many forms
Sometimes invisible
Sometimes tangible

Strength can be a phoenix feather
Strength can be a lotus flower
Growth from the ashes
Growth from the peaceful waters

Strength can come in many forms
A feather or a flower
Both lead you home

If you don't value the truth
How can you decipher what is lies?
If you sell off your integrity
You'll be hollow inside
Value what is true and you will live a fulfilled life

You bit into my flesh so hard that you drew blood

The pain was sadistically satisfying

The wound was so impressive it was ugly

I knew that you were hurting me but harm was all I knew

So I turned to you and said,

"What more can you do?"

Her *******, voluptuous and heavy
His breathing, shallow and fast
Their bodies entangled in a mess of lost limbs
Two lovers keeping themselves warm through the winter

His arms, tattooed and tough
Her neck, ringed with bruises from a former abuser
A night of frenzied madness somehow construed as passion
An escape from a life of mundane expectations

Her voice, soft and melodious
His touch, gentle yet commanding
Their short term union causing long term confusion
Two lovers present in the magic of the moment

You split my soul in seven
Like a real life horcrux
My soul is attached to objects
That we have both grown to love

You split my soul in seven
Like you are a real life Voldemort
Tragically forgetting
That death indeed can be a blessing
Ascending us to heaven

You split my soul in seven
Like a real life horcrux
Now I am bound for eternity
Pondering your sickening depravity

Some things are inevitable
Some things are out of our control
The day your spouse cheats on you
The day your parent leaves this world
These are things we do not have a hold on

We like to think we call the shots
We like to think we are in command
Don't be fooled into thinking that you can play God
Life is a game of luck and random chance
You do not get to pick your hand
We are not the designer of this plan

Some things are inevitable
The grave is one of those
The first step to peace is finding release
So take a deep breath and let go

This punishment is getting loathsome
At what point do I stop drinking this poison?

I kept looking across at you tonight
Whenever you made some silly comment
Whenever I heard that mischievous laugh

All that I kept thinking was
"I could have lost you"
"This could all be in the past"

My heart was filled with gratitude
I made a silent vow
To never stop appreciating your friendship
To always keep you around

You wanted to dance with me
With bare feet
On broken glass
With no music
When I was a paraplegic

You wanted to do the impossible
Just to laugh probability in the face
You wanted to dance with me
In the middle of the pouring rain
But I don't like your chances
I don't believe in fate

It was snowing in the frost of my heart
Your smile melted the icy shards
Warming me with your intrinsic laugh
Just like that,
I was brand new
Amazing what a smile can do

i was standing at the edge of a very long fall
only to find i never existed at all

lets just cut the *******
lets just call this what it is
this is a beautiful vase
fallen into the abyss  
broken into pieces

we are trying to find the glue
the tape
anything to put us back in place
what if there is no fix?
what if this is it?

lets just cut the *******
and call a ***** a *****
i tried to dig myself an escape
i ended up digging myself a grave

so bury me here on this beautiful beach
where we met so many years ago
lets just call this what it is
the end of a very long road

your delicate frame was bent
in the act of beseeching contrition

like remorse was a mask to be worn
like penitence was a role to play

my opulent frame was bent
in the act of torturous punishment

like sadism was a game to be mastered
like a grudge could be beautiful art

your delicate frame was bent
in the act of  beseeching contrition

like mercy was a place we had visited together
like absolution was a time that you had marked in your calendar

my opulent frame was bent
in the act of humorous revelation

like it had taken you a year to realise
that there will be no reprieve here

this universe is too small for the both of us
no matter how far i run
you are still too close

this destruction is too devastating
it permeates through to my core
so forgive me as i cut this poisonous cord

Some people throw treasure in the trash
It's easy to do that when you don't know what you have
You were a treasure yet I threw you in the trash

It's not over until it's over
If that is true
Then I'm pretty sure that we are
Pretty ******* over

Cold was the winter air when you broke the news to me

Anger was the first emotion that I remember feeling

Grey was the colour that everything turned, like all the colours had been evaporated

Gone were all the dreams that we ever created

Cold was the winter air when you broke the news to me

I don't believe in best friends
But I believe in you
You paint my sky cerulean blue
You give me hope to hold onto
You make my broken heart feel brand new
I don't believe in best friends
But if I did my best friend would be you

We played game in the attic
Forever avoiding the basement
We were always happiest
Believing that we were above everyone else

I miss you
Not your body but your friendship
Not your kisses but your laughter
Not your touch but your kindness
I miss you

I am paralysed with fear
What if we are never friends again?
I am paralysed with fear
What if I've ****** up in the worst way ever?

This thing was beautiful
This thing was magnificent
This thing was magical
A magical mess

This thing broke his heart
This thing damaged our trust
This thing almost tore us apart
I'm trying to fix this up

This thing has hurt my self confidence
This thing has made me so selfish
This thing stole my innocence
Actions have consequences

I've always been the odd one out
Luna Lovegood stole my heart
This is my odd ball shout out

Is a cheater always a cheater?
Do you cheat then wear that brand forever?
What if you're remorseful and want to change?
What if you never cheat again?

Is a cheater always a cheater?
I've always been a fidelity believer
I also believe that leopards can change their spots
But I cheated so I'm a cheater forevermore

Forever is an awfully long time
You don't really consider that when you are making your wedding vows
All you see is roses and the person that you love now
Forever is an awfully long time

Forgiveness builds my faith

Answers aren't always obvious but they are there all the same

I've spent a lifetime learning how to be faithful

Trusting in what is invisible

Heaven is ultimately why I stick with it

You asked me for the truth
So I told you the truth
Babe, it aint my fault
That you don't like what I told you

You asked me for the truth
So I told you the truth
Babe, you should know that honesty
Is the only thing I can do

I don't hate you
I just don't like your face

I don't hate you
I just think you are a disgrace

I don't hate you
I just don't agree with your choices

I don't hate you
I'm just trying hard to avoid you

Yesterday I found myself dreaming
Yesterday I found myself thinking
Yesterday I found myself wondering
Yesterday I found myself pondering
Would I be the person that I am
If I were a man?

She is a fearless female
Unapologetically unafraid
She is a lyrical lioness
She broke out of her cage
She has the words to heal
She has the strength to fight
She is a fearless female
She is walking in the light