i want to laugh with you until my face turn red like a tomato and my eyes start watering.......
memoona kazmi

and whenever i get sad,
i want to put my head on your shoulder and explain my problems to u.....
memoona kazmi

i want to take your cold hands in mine
and rub them until they get warm.......
memoona kazmi

i love loneliness,
why?
because when i am alone i can completely focus on you....
memoona kazmi

i want you to look at me,
the way augustus looks at hazel grace...
memoona kazmi

you are both ,
my wound and my band aid........

if i am going to be a poet,
you will be my poetry.......

i want to be girl decoit,
to steal all your sadness and fill your life with happiness......

i wish i had a vanishing cloak,
to hide you from all the sadness of this world.

i want to hug you the way,
winnie the pooh hugs the piglet

i wish i had a super glue,
to stick that lovely smile of yours permanently on your face

and when your name appears in the notification bar of my phone,
my face shines brighter than the screen of my phone

and when you whisper love in my ears,
i promise i can fight the whole world for that.....

you came out of nowhere,
took me somewhere,
and now you are everywhere......

sometimes i feel like you are a part of my soul,
which GOD just forgot to put in my body.......

and sometimes you just have to let them go,
not because you are  not strong enough to fight for them,
but because they wont even try to win you

at the age of 15 ,
she thought everything is good,
love is amazing,
at age of 18.
having her heart broken by some guy,
she thought,
love was just ****,
at the age of 30,
she knows ,
love always comes with a little bit of sufferings,
its us who are not brave enough to face the challenges of love,
and make it worth fighting for,
a little pain and one heart break thought her so much.......

they say its hard,
to find true love,
they are erroneous,
for i found true love,
when i wrapped my hand,
around his finger,
when i had a warm kiss,
on my head,
when i heard him saying,
no matter what you do,
i'll be there for you,
so when they say,
it's hard to find true love,
for a girl it maybe hard,
but as a daughter,
you are born with it...

next time you see her,
don't tell her,
how much you love her eyes ,
or how much you love her body,
don't tell her how much you love her hairs,
or don't whisper her beauty in her ears,
just tell her,
how much you love her soul,
wild and free,
tell her how much you crave for her,
tell her you are a gypsy,
seeking for a shelter,
and her soul is your only asylum,
don't tell her what a pretty gem she is,
tell her what a precious gem she is......

and when i said my last goodbye,
a little piece of my soul,
broke from me,
and flew in infinity,
i wanted you to,
hold me from my shoulder and shake me,
shake me till i change my decision,
i wanted you to remind me,
of all the roses you left in my room,
i wanted to listen your ,
"please dont go"
i wanted you to grab my hand,
and say,
you would never let me go,
i wanted you to shout out aloud to the world,
you will never ever let me leave you,
but you didnt even made a single gesture,
to stop me,
from walking away,
so i just chose to walk away,
because i knew at that moment,
that my absence will not effect you,
because my presence never did......

i know you fell for my eyes,
you said they looked like,
a never ending fountain of love,
i know you fell for my hairs,
and told me they were like,
a waterfall cascading from heaven,
i know you fell for my smile,
you said it makes you,
stop thinking about the whole world,
i know you fell for,
all my curves and all my edges,
and said i was an ultimate creation of GOD,
but somewhere between that,
i realized,
you never fell for me,
the real me,
that's why,
now that i am broken and sad,
you can't see........
-memoona kazmi

and when you no longer see me,
in the hurly burly world of yours,
or hear my voice,
in the screaming noises of yours,
or no longer see my shadow,
in the darkness of night,
pick my notebook up,
and ponder over it's every word,
go through it's every page,
caress every line of my poetry,
and when you realize it was all about you,
hush.....
dont even dare to say,
that you could have loved me,
never say that,
because you should have,
when i was alive,
coz now it's of no use,
to blow the trumpets of love,
on lump raised,
called my grave.......

As the teeny tiny
droplets fall from
the window of heavens,
purifying every soul,
showering its blessing,
providing water to the,
thirsty cracked land,
wetting my cheeks,
oh how lucky are those clouds,
to throw away their burden,
to make it rain,
and oh how hard it is,
for me,
to keep all,
the blistering tears
inside my eyes………………

i am afraid,
that when i'll open my eyes,
i will be alone again,
you will be nowhere,
near me,
i'll be be left alone,
in the menacing darkness,
to fight all my demons,
on my own,
allowing all the stars,
and the moons to laugh on me,
i am afraid,
that you will leave me ,
shivering in the cold nights,
i am afraid,
that you will blow,
the flower of my love,
as the dried up dandelion fuzz,
i am afraid,
that you will leave the candle,
burning in my room,
die in the wax coffin of it's own,
you will leave every question in my head,
unquestioned,
i am afraid,
afraid of loosing you...........

i thought you were only a chapter,
in the book of my life,
realized that at your last goodbye,
without knowing,
you will always be the beginning of every page,
and ending of my every story,
you will be behind every door,
that i'll try to open,
try to close,
you will be thread sewing my book,
the glue sticking my book pages together,
i thought your part in my life was over,
you'll go your way,
i'll be on mine,
how insane was i,
not having even a single notion,
that on every path of my life,
i'll have your silhouette,
tracing me like a nightmare,
accompanying me,
trailing me away from light......

if she kisses you,
with her eyes open,
it means she's not there yet,
she's not lost into it,
the enchanting garden of love,
is yet to be reached by her,
the demon against love are still to be fought,
the potion of love,
is yet to be drunk,
and if her eyes are still open,
when you move your fingers,
in her hairs,
and if she still can't feel your heat,
she isn't yours to keep.........

a tear fell on my guitar tonight,
even the strings were amazed,
to see the deserted eyes rain,
the strings started dancing,
along my tears,
singing and playing a soothing tune,
and watching you lay happy everynight,
without even a single thought on your mind,
i am thinking,
how is it possible,
for someone,
not to get even scent of a single flower,
after planting a garden of tears for others....

i asked her,
aren't you afraid of being alone,
she whispered in my ears,
i am afraid of being part of crowd,
having infinite eyes staring at you,
having thousands of tongues sharpened,
to slit your pride into million little pieces,
having thousands of fingers pointing toward you,
having others taking decisions,
that you were supposed to take,
and since that day,
i have fear of being in crowd,
running through my veins,
so i am wandering,
alone,
in this sweet,
soothing dark,
alone

i am sorry,
i am sorry that i just couldn't,
make sense out of it all,
i didn't realize,
that you wanted me ,
to call that sand castle,
buckingham palace of yours,
i am sorry
that i was such a fool,
for saving you from drowning,
without knowing,
you were the fish,
surviving in that ***** water,
i am sorry that i wanted to,
save you from darkness,
without getting a notion,
that darkness was what
you have been craving for,
i am just sorry that i could understand,
that your tongue addicted ,
to that cheap vine of lies,
had no taste for the holy water of truth...
_memoona kazmi

with my fever burning at 104,
i have no friend to call,
to make me feel better,
to make me feel home,
pity tis for me,
i am sick and home alone

i am never going to be happy again,
so don't try to tell me,
i will be the happiest,
when i already know,
i can't get that,
don't make me believe that,
everyone loves me,
when i know,
they don't love me,
so dont try to convince me that,
everything will change,
i will start smiling again...

now kindly read from bottom to top

i am letting go of myself,
hold me close,
at this time,
i need nothing else,
just pull me closer,
let the whistling wind,
carry the sound of you promises,
to my ears,
let them echo in eternity,
tell me all your dreams,
tell me you are here,
i am letting go of myself,
just hold me close

you left space in me,
which i cannot fill,
that ephemeral relation with you,
was enough to destroy everything of mine,
while sitting alone in my room,
i hear you calling my name,
how stupid of me,
still expecting from you,
didn't know,
you were the puzzle,
i didn't have the complete pieces of,
never really knew,
it was only a game,
and i was amazing at losing in it.....

hey stranger,where are you now?
i thought we shared something,
thinking,laughter,ideas,smile,
or maybe something else,
maybe it was love,
but stupid me,
didn't realize,
afterall,
you were just a strangers.........

i love to write,
why?
well maybe because,
when i see everyone judging me,
by my past,
i feel my pen,
writing all my mistakes,
as a burning phoenix,
when i see the world,
laughing on my pain,
my pages accept my sadness,
when i feel alone and empty,
my writing hold me close,
kiss me on my head,
wipe my tears off,
and stays there for me.....

in the tsunami of self loathing,
i am not going to swim,
i am sitting numb,
staring at the walls,
questioning myself,
why am i this way?
why can't i be what they want me to be?
why can't i?
i hear the waves of ocean of detestation,
crashing on my mind,
destructing my trueself,
shaking the buildings of my self confidence,
i can feel the water filled inside my lungs,
and this time,
i am not swimming,
i am not trying to save myself,
i am drowning,
and i don't want anyone,
to save me from drowning,
coz i know,
they can save me from demons,
but no one can save me from myself....

after you,
i can't hear the chants,
of nightingales that once sat,
on the branches of the tree,
outside my window,
i don't see any flower,
bloom in red,
i can't feel rain,
falling on me,
i can't smell the petrichor it left,
in other word,
after you,
o have lost my senses,
i have lost myself....

what did you say honey,
you want to be immortal,
come,fall in love with me,
and live in my poetry forever.....

in an encounter,
with your enemy,
when you have chance to punish me,
never punish them,
just forgive them,
coz no punishment,
is more fatal,
than repenting,
make them curse,
every second of their life,
the time they hurt you..

the tall tree,
that once stood so firm,
so proud of its strength,
it is flung down,
next to my eyes,
in front of me,
it's wreathed old roots,
that once used to be,
strong enough to hold him,
are now feeble as they could be,
it's brown leaves,
with a touch of orange hue,
with blend of yellow,
are the ones,
that once were so green and lush,
it's branches that once,
were a home to a thousand blue birds,
are no more mothers,
they now are strile,
idea gleam on the curtain of my mind,
with the tree that once was ceaselessly young,
is now dead,
what are we proud of?????

we all are in a journey,
a journey of self,
journey of forage,
we all are craving for us,
craving for real us,
and the journey,
seems to continue,
until we find someone,
on the same path,
with same notion,
the one we can communicate,
not through words,
but by silence
by eyes,
and that moment
we realize,
they aren't any other person,
they were the parts of our own soul,
split up by GOD,
to keep us in a journey,
journey of self.....

if they throw rocks at you,
it's time,
you pick those rocks up,
and make walls out of those rocks,
to keep such people out.......

in the world full of,
james and lily potters,
will you be my severus snape?????

and when you no longer,
see me,
just close the blinds,
of those mesmerizing eyes,
shut all the noises out,
breathe the revitalizing air,
inside your lungs,
and dwell in yourself,
that's where my paradise is,
that's where i'll always be,
you will always find me,
in your thoughts,
in your mind,
in your heart...

it's getting dark again,
the place which once was so glimmering,
everything is being veiled,
by the menacing darkness,
i can see the shadows,
getting darker,
and i curse,
i curse that moment,
when i thought,
it's always going to be the same,
it will always be,
a bright shiny day,
i curse that time,
when i made myself,
believe that,
sun will never set,
now that it is drenched in blood,
and now that i see my room,
that was once so happy,
lying dead in the silence,
i curse myself,
for being alone now,
and being with you then.....

and when you,
are forced,
to put on a smile,
be buried in graves,
of your own words,
every minute feels like,
scratching your nails,
on rough,
hard rocks,
it feels as if,
your head will burst,
as if,
you will start bleeding,
it all happens,
apparently,
you stand there,
still,firm and straight,
but only you know,
that inside,
you are screaming,
shouting,pleading,
for aid,
but how come they know,
you are hurt,
they are blind,
blind from the real eyes,
blind from all the pain.......

Most people see me,
As the oh-so-happy girl,
As I smile a lot,
As I laugh on even silly things a lot,
As I have a super funny sense of humour,
But behind the curtains,
Only I know,
What it feels like,
To be buried alive,
In the grave of your own words,
Grave of your own unexpressed feelings,
Of unsaid truths,
Only I know,
How hard it is,
For me,
To hold onto my sails,
In the sea of whirlpools,
Storms,strong winds,and destruction everywhere,
Only I have seen,
The dark wicked faces,
Of the demons,
I battle everyday,
How I hear them,
Laughing t me,
Teasing me,
Only I know,
How it feels like,
When you can feel,
The sharp,
Knife like words,
Piercing your heart,
Poisoning your ears,
And when I get tired of hiding it all,
I put on a smile,
On my face,
Just to make them,
Focus more on my lips,
And less on my wet eyes…………

It’s a shame for me,
To claim,
That I live in,
An independent state,
When all I see around me,
Are salves
Slaves of fate,
Slave of greed,
Slaves of lies,
It is a disgrace for me,
To say,
That I live in a.
Peaceful state,
Where  everyday,when I wake up,
All I see are the bodies,
Of innocents hanging,
Hanging on the branches,
Branches of banyan,
Branches of trees,
It is so degrading.
For me to say,
I belong to a loving state,
When I see my people,
Being discriminated,
On basis of colour, sect,religion,
And I feel ashamed,
When I see a headless body,
Of an innocent child,
Who had only learnt to smile……………

struggling childhood,
infinite smiles,
dashing youth,
amazing life,
the wrinkled eyes had,
treasure of memories to share,
but none in the old house had ears to hear,
so the treasure was buried,
deep under the soil,
with the wrinkled eyes....