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Feb 2016 · 557
rush into madeness
a force so fierce that I have no defense
my rushing thousand thoughts makes me tense
convulsing into delusion  and madness
overtaken by unending sadness

how can love that used to make me high
now make my whole soul sigh
into the breach i plunge unknown
and all my front is blown

i stand naked and trembling
still my mind is rumbling
my only hope and solution comes deep inside of me
a loving Higher Power that helps me simply be
Stream of consciousness.
Feb 2016 · 724
home for sale
our dream was lovely
now we awaken
to reality
of love
*lost
Jan 2016 · 969
sitting meditation (10w)
Jan 2016 · 448
death (10w)
death whispers my name
and I whisper back
without fear
Jan 2016 · 734
heart aflame (10w)
love ignites
a flame
in this
icy heart of mine
Jan 2016 · 474
first day (12w)
my heart aches. 

first day waking up without you and our daughter.
Jan 2016 · 1.3k
anger (11w)
anger simmers quietly
until I find the strength
to let go
First written on my Tumblr page: wolf-jedi.tumblr.com
Jan 2016 · 600
now (11w)
the infinite now surrounds me
on the cusp of new beginnings
First written on my Tumblr page at wolf-jedi.tumblr.com. As I approach the new year I am grateful,  eventhough in a few days I will move out of my home. I am grateful because I am not walking through this alone.
Dec 2015 · 588
grateful for each day
I am grateful for the breath of life flowing through me

Grateful I am no longer waking up each day hating life and praying to die

Each day sober  is truly a gift even when I go through discomfort

Grateful for today with all its joys and sadness
Dec 2015 · 846
walking among humans
i was dazed and in a fog
sometimes reality seems so unreal
am i me?  

i put one foot in front of the other
trying to fake it till i make it
pretending to walk among humans
feeling a little tired and disconnected
Dec 2015 · 749
smoke
wisps of smoke rise like prayers
to the sky

may hope overcome fear and hate
in the darkest of nights

i pray for you my friend who feel lost and alone
may you find your way home
prayer for anyone who feel lost and alone
Dec 2015 · 494
desperation (10w)
grasping at straws
lost and alone

in desperation
I pray
Gift of desperation, when I finally hit bottom I reached out to a Higher Power for help.  Help came in the form of others who went through the hell of their own making, and who found freedom walking the spiritual path.
Dec 2015 · 3.2k
night terrors
I will hold you close
and turn on the light
My daughter had night terrors due to pain from teething.  I had to turn on the light for her to see me and calm down.
Nov 2015 · 741
spiritual life (10w)
today, as i walk this path
I am not alone
I am "trudging this road of happy destiny" with other brothers and sisters, who are also living one day at a time.
Nov 2015 · 550
inside job (10w)
peace flows like a river
when I open my heart
Nov 2015 · 846
Bitterness
you say you love me
But all I experience is contempt

Love is presence embodied
by patience and understanding

all I taste is bitterness
Originally posted by me on:
http://wolf-jedi.tumblr.com/post/133624179242/bitterness
Nov 2015 · 634
life & death
each breath is precious
each breath i die a little

i am grateful for my life
i am grateful for being mortal

each moment is precious, because it never happens again
each moment is a gift, because i am a "spiritual being having a human experience."
Quote is from Catholic Priest and theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ.
Nov 2015 · 1.2k
the gift of you (10w)
your life is such a blessing
it brings me joy
For my daughter Winnie,  who turned 1 on Nov. 11.
Nov 2015 · 553
stay with me
just a little bit longer
linger in my arms
as our breaths sync in rhythm
and our bodies lie heart to heart
stay with me
just a little bit longer
as the everything else fades away
for a few moments
the only thing that matters is
our hearts beating as one
Nov 2015 · 1.8k
embrace
life and death intertwined in a mysterious embrace
meaning embedded in the flesh and carved into the soul

beauty finds a way even in suffering and in the end
we all become one
originally written on https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wolf-jedi
Nov 2015 · 478
smooth like jazz
words ramble out
like notes through Mile's horn
or smooth strokes on the keys by Bill

poetry and jazz collide as a rhythm of sound and beats
echo through my heart and soul

love of music and words fuses inside of me
and comes out as cacophonous mix of sound
inspired by music of miles davis and bill evans
Nov 2015 · 416
rain (10w)
water falling from the sky
to wash away my shame
Nov 2015 · 557
last call
vague thoughts
muddled with desire
surging me into nothing

searching for meaning
in meaningless small talk
desperate for connection

lost, only to be found,
then discarded
what a loss?

all of life's dramas
acted and reenacted,
before last call.  

more time to drown
our sorrows away
into oblivion
a poem about feeling disconnected and yearning for connection.  i spent most of my teenage and 20s feeling this way.  Grateful now that I no longer exist this way, at least on most days.
Nov 2015 · 7.1k
little seed of hope
let your little seed of hope grow
nurture and protect it
and someday you will
recover
from a hopeless state of
mind and body


if i can do it
so can you
Dedicated to all those struggling with addiction and those walking the path of recovery.  Phrase "a hopeless state of mind and body" is not my own.  I am quoting 12th step literature.
Oct 2015 · 979
hopeless
everything looked and felt so hopeless
never would have thought 4 years a go
that my life would be so full

grateful i wake up most days grateful to be alive,
where as before i woke everyday praying for
God to **** me

i just needed a spiritual awakening to tweak my perspective
from hopelessness to hope
constant criticism to gratitude
Oct 2015 · 692
late night (10w)
never enough time
to do everything
say everything
just be
reflections on presence, and doing enough. written while on call as a chaplain.
Oct 2015 · 567
life in motion
bodies move
           my heart beats
                   my breath becomes short

sometimes life always seems in motion
                    moving too fast for me to catch up
                                    strange that i am trying to catch up
                                                                ­                                  to my own life

as i slowly become aware of my breath
my life begins to slow down
i am still in motion,
but my head is quiet and my heart is at peace.

i am grounded in the inner cell of my heart,
and now i can go about doing the will of my Creator
with a heart at ease.
Written while doing my on call at at hospital as a chaplain.
Oct 2015 · 699
futility
i try and try
and all i get is
accusations

i cannot live your life
for you

but i can live my life by principles,
even if you disagree with my path
Sep 2015 · 502
little voice (20w)
a soft little voice
rises out of the dark oblivion

do I listen to this voice,
break open my shell?
Written to all those who struggle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. You are not alone.
Sep 2015 · 370
loss
sorrow washes over me
as I mourn the loss of childhood,
but then sadness turns into a smile
as I remember that I get to let my kid be a kid
Sep 2015 · 676
scars
my open wounds have finally
turned into scars

the past sometimes linger
and leave scars on the inside

my heart shines love and compassion
upon myself and the little boy I once was

today i carry my scars not with shame,
but with love knowing that it's all part of life
growing pains
Sep 2015 · 590
soft (10w)
your soft purrs lull
me into peace
friend for life
For my cat Hermione.
Sep 2015 · 903
into my arms
your small body sinks into my arms
I will hold you as long as I am able
I promise to hold you close and safe
until you awaken to run away to explore
my little adventurer I love you,
let the beating of my heart soothe you to sleep
i will hold you through toothaches and heartaches
For my daughter Winnie,  who is turning 10 months tomorrow.
Sep 2015 · 1.7k
back home (10w)
home never seems more sweeter
then when on the road.
Sep 2015 · 779
the sea (20w)
waves crash and pound the
hard earth till it softens

soft caress of the mysterious moon
and the vast ocean
Written while on vacation at the beach with my family. My daughter's first experience of the ocean.
Sep 2015 · 12.3k
woven by poetry
you may not know me
face to face,
but you and I have connected
heart to heart through words.

Our lives are woven together by
the tapestry of words,
and into a living breathing poetry.

you and I are no longer strangers,
but fellow poets and sojourners
on this journey of creation.
Sep 2015 · 670
sick
your cries break my heart
and I hold you close until
you whimper into sleep

my gentle swaying and rhythm of my heart
guide you to sleep

my daughter,  I hope someday you
discover that the Divine Presence
holds you safe and close like I do

There will be times
I will not be with you
But remember that God
is always with you
Reflections on how the Divine Presence is like a loving parent that holds us safe.   My wife and I have been giving our daughter extra tender loving care as she gets over her first fever from a little virus.
Aug 2015 · 726
a day in the life
holding your hands as you walk
i hold you steady

your wobbly legs will grow strong
and someday you will not need me to walk

remember i will love you just the same,
whether i am holding you now or
when i let you run and make your mistakes
as an adult
poem for my daughter Winnie, who is 9 months and learning to walk.
Aug 2015 · 567
laughter (20w)
your laughter bursts through
all my insecurities

your smile reminds me why
I love you

my heart laughs with you
for my wife
Aug 2015 · 641
night time (10w)
sun sets
thoughts quiet
breaths slow
body rests
heart awakes
Aug 2015 · 544
the spoken word
creation came into existence when the Divine
spoke the world into existence

in pueblo mythology,
Spider Woman weaves the world together
with her words.

the spoken word is a powerful thing,
words heal, break, mend, soothe, hurt, and console.

words can woven into lies that grow out of proportion,
or speak the simple honest truth.

sometimes the best action to take for me is
holding my tongue,
until i am absolutely moved by my inner convictions
to speak.  easier said than done.  

i write, and i used to preach from pulpits.  
today, i speak the truth in safe spaces to share, in my home,
to my daughter learning to speak, and mostly to my Higher Power.

it is true freedom to be able to finally after all these years,
be able to do what i say, and walk the walk.
musings on speech as my daughter practices sounding out words.
Aug 2015 · 736
to my followers (10w)
we are strangers
yet our lives are
woven by poetry
Gratitude for all the folks that have encouraged me on this community and support my creative process.  Thank you.
Aug 2015 · 1.6k
nap (10w)
little babe
when you nap
i get a little breather
musings as i write while my 9 months old daughter naps. knock on wood.  :)
Aug 2015 · 1.2k
cafe (10w)
hustle and bustle
voices rising
into a symphony of noise
written at lamplighter cafe
Aug 2015 · 2.3k
a grateful heart
it's hard sometimes to be grateful
the very things and people i am grateful for
slowly wear on me, when I am not centered

as i breathe and slow down to listen to my heart
something shifts and i can open up to life with
a grateful heart

i quickly forget that there was a time in my life
where i used to wake up praying everyday
for God to **** me

today I wake up most days with a grateful heart
I give thanks for the day and
turn my thoughts to someone else I can help

i am trying to not just be grateful with words,
but  put it into action.
Aug 2015 · 1.4k
cat (10w)
a creature of mystery
of utter profundity
lazily exuding love
written while our cat Hermione cuddles up next to me on the couch. a poem written appreciation of my cat, cats everywhere, and to the people that love these mysterious enigmas.
Aug 2015 · 1.7k
summer time
i want to roam those gentle mountains
free from the clamors of city life
nothin' but the sound of cicadas
and the feelin' of a summer breeze

i have the summer time login' for yester years
childhood memories grow sweeter each year
a poem about growing up in the mountains of appalachia
Aug 2015 · 933
burn
the divine flame burns
even in cold dark rainy nights
10w
Jul 2015 · 690
our love is not a drug
Your love is not a drug
that binds me into self

My love for you is not the delusion
of chemical dependency that holds me
hostage

Our love frees and helps us grow
A love spoken and lived with
commitment and honesty

In order to be daily open to this love
we continue to discard old notions that
keep us imprisoned in ourselves
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
silence that binds
there is a holy silence that binds
souls together

a silence that takes up room
a palpable presence

not like the empty silence that destroys
and splits people apart

a holy silence that warms hearts
and connects long lost lovers

silence of the *divine mystery
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