Sometimes
I wish you would
Fade away
And take these feelings
With you

Why am I scared
To make us
More than friends?

I'm glad I stayed today,
because now,
I'll be here tomorrow.

It is only until Death comes knocking at our door
that we realize we have never left the house.

I string up my hammock for two,
and lay in it alone,
listening to the trees whisper to one another.
How I long to hear their songs
and giggle to their stories
of centuries past and times forgotten.
The wind rocks me close to her *****
while the sun shines down on the children
hoping from flower to flower and between blades of grass.
But my eyes grow heavy, and I struggle to stay.
Then I hear them,
laughingly say,
rest now child;
all is well.

A road less traveled
is one I follow
as a child of loss
and sorrow.
I weave a path
of smoke and ash
to burn the memories
of days past.

May we meet again.
Someday not too far.
To give us time to heal,
and feel once again.
On a sunny day with wet grass.
By lakes of crystal and trees of brass.
Through burrowed Mountains we shall run,
to reach peaks of power and fortitude.
Where we two will be one,
once again whole and full,
and no longer looking to the shadows
for food.
But until that time...
let us wander a bit more,
until we are ready to come home.

I am ashamed.
I have failed so many times.
I no longer believe.
Believe in myself,
in my world,
in my dreams.
This weight on my heart,
so deep and dark,
slowly crushing me from within.
It's so hard to escape,
to breathe.
So frustrating.
Sleepless nights,
stressing.
Second guessing everything;
Everyone.
Feelings I can't control...
or defeat.
A drop away from drowning;
Suffocating.
I need help.
So many hands extended,
but some wither; some fake.
Unsure of who to trust,
which hand to take.
Head pounding,
heart racing,
four am panic attacks.
I don't want to let my parents down,
but I already have.
They haven't said it,
but I can see it,
feel it.
No explanations needed.
It's not all in my head!
It can't be.
But what if it is?
What do I do?
I'm lost.
But not all those who wander are lost...
right?
I've been wandering for so long,
When will I be found?

I lie to your face so I can lie to my soul.
Pretending that it's you I must deceive.
When really it is myself who can't seem
to see the truth and believe.
Because if I see the truth and acknowledge it,
I will prove to myself that I'm just a fake.
Hiding behind words of fantasy
to escape my reality.

Before my time is up,
and this moment in life passes,
I want you in every fiber of my being.
So when this body withers,
and ash is dust once more,
I want my soul to be
slowly consumed by yours.

What once was,
will never be again,
but maybe that is how
it was always meant to be.

I wish you said yes.
I'm glad you said no.

And even though our moment has passed,
like a photograph stopping time for all eternity,
the sweet pain of the memory will stay with me,
always.

I am an Inspiration.
By being,
I am paving a pathway.
For some to follow,
to duplicate,
to improve.
But overtime,
pathways erode.
The cracks slowly become noticeable.
And the path, not as even as it once was,
breaks away,
piece by piece.
What was reliability,
is now uncertainty.
Do I step,
unsure of sound ground?
Questioning, yet I continue down this path.
Because I learn,
I learn everyday.
A path is imperfect.
There are no two alike.
Similarities maybe,
but an individual path,
for a single walker.
What once was,
will never be again.
Acceptance,
and learned inspiration
springs determination.
To not let an eroding path,
erode the soul that forged it.

I'm weird because I like it.
I'm weird because I'm cool.
In my novel, movie and musical,
I am both the Stars and the Moon.
The only outcast present,
is your attitude and you.
So when you try to judge me,
the world is judging you.

Pounding, pounding,
gravel, grass.
Concrete,
soil,
mulch,
my path.
Where should I go?
Stall,
decide,
hesitate,
choose.
I am alone, there is time.
My body says left so left I go.
My goal in mind, pick up the pace,
concentrate, relax,
breathe,
run,
escape.

Nature is my mother, my father man,
together or apart my life in their hands.
Each owns thought shape my being,
deciding, deciding, am I ready yet?
To face the world and reflect it’s thoughts.
Why am I here? Who am I? What is this box?
Never knowing the answer, but seeing through my soul.
How do they know? Why can they see me? Will I ever be told?
Then they decide who I will finally be.
Whether to hurt or protect? We shall finally see.
But I warn you,
before,
you decide that you can,
define me, refine me, change me by hand.
That I am you and you are me,
and without due care,
you might untimely see,
us shatter.

Let me ask what your heart truly desires.

A question you've never been asked.

Take a minute, don’t rush your answer.

I can wait forever if you can't.

But all I want to know,

one thing before I go,

is,

can you see me in your future?

Sharing things you've never shared before?

Loving like you’ll never love again?

Wanting like you've never wanted more?

Can you see me in your future?

Selfish me, wanting all your answers,

desires you've hid away from the world,

a world where you feel all alone.

But even though you've sealed your heart up tight,

locked the doors and threw away the keys,

still I’ll ask you,

can you see me in your future?

Even with my own battered heart,

shattered from several tossed remarks,

I ask, will I be enough?

Enough to start your heart again?

To unlock your doors and open wide,

the heart you hide away inside?

What could it hurt?

The thought of you and I?

Because for me,

I can see you in my future.

I tiptoe across the wooden floor avoiding all the creaks.
Moonlight streaming through open windows of a silent summer night,
casting shadows over rumpled sheets of a well-used king size bed.
I hear the water running in the bathroom across the hall,
grabbing clothing strewed around the room I move with ninja speed.
Hunting for the elusive pair of ******* I just can’t seem to find.
Forget it, time is almost running out, I need to leave before that door opens.
Rushing now I grab my stash and head for the front door,
lightly hopping, stealthily propping as I pull on piece by piece.
Last, my shoes, I grab as I unlock the front door,
grab my keys, leave the note and run out barefoot.
“It was fun, I had to run, see you again someday,”
get in my car, start the engine, drive, drive away.

Knowing how to paint is key, so they say,
When to brush and stroke, or erase it away.
But some painters out there just cannot paint,
They keep adding and adding; makes me faint!
Without knowledge or a care for the rest,
These women slather on makeup with zest!
Some demonic possession is at work;
Like some creature in the dark on the lurk,
Waiting for a victim who they can jump,
To ****** and caress and um, ****…
But enough of these victims, these lost men,
It is these creatures of “virtue,” these women!
Who capture the eye of peers with disdain,
Who then suffer in agony and pain!
Let us look at this process at it’s core;
But not to the point where it is a bore!
How the blank canvas of a womans face,
Is slowly and precisely won through race,
Of multiple brushes dabbing at paint,
Trying to turn a sinner to a saint!
The fine brush used to paint plump lips bright red,
And pale powders of primer of the dead.
To seize the image of porcelain death,
To mimic the perfection of Queen Beth.
The slight graze of the check with some faint pink,
And the strong tracing of the blackest ink!
On the lids and the lash of the blind eye,
Who fails to see that their face is a lie.
But for me that is surely not the case,
For in the mirror that is not my face!

A thousand words are in my soul,

a thousand words I can't control.

A thousand words I ache to say,

a thousand words I locked away.

A thousand words that are true,

a thousand words just for you.

A thousand words I can't deny,

a thousand words that make me cry.

A thousand words that lay in wait,

a thousand words a day too late.

A thousand words never said,

a thousand words from the dead.

When you fall in love you feel as if your heart is about to explode,

as if it can't take another moment in your chest.

You feel as if the world is more vivid, colours sharper, tastes sweeter,

anything is possible if you just try.

You feel as if your skin is tight, your heart racing, mouth dry,

waiting for a look or a touch.

The panic you feel is indescribable, incomprehensible,

because he is the One.

But when you see him with someone else,

it's as if your heart is about to shatter,

not able to withstand the constant tearing and breaking that has begun.

You feel as if darkness has surrounded your world, making you dumb,

blind and deaf,

nothing left, no sun.

You feel your body crumble, heart stop, mouth quiver,

on a heartbreaking, convulsing cry.

The pain you feel is unbearable, undeniable,

because he was the One.