I was wondering through the streets,
ghettos of lonely moments. You calved
out every moment that was ours and
laid it naked in front of my eyes.

You never thought of feelings only the
pain was like hooks on my broken dreams
of us. And what was now dead leafs falling
like stones on my numbness now felt.

How could something so beautiful corrode
in moments that were meant to blossom.
but now are lingering in emotional eclipses
not seen in light but enveloped in nothingness.

**"I love you, but can  unspent coals of love ever be
reignited or do they forever stay static and cold,

I will not crave the admiration of others on the reflexes
of what I verse, incomplete metaphors  are a valuation
of what you perceive in what is collected in the vaults
of my indiscriminate imaginings.

I will throw a penny in the fountain of what I spill in
unprecedented flurries. Would you catch what I scatter
into the pond of vacant words. Would you catch what
I throw? or watch the ripples of what it could become.

I will always throw a stone in to the white to see what
splashes on the verges of mind. I'm more deep than I
know, how many coins will you throw to see my depth.
Will all sink not  showing the shimmer of my words.

I cut down the last tree,
   and ate the last apple...

I  wore the snake as a noose...


******* gravity...
  


                 I fell hollow and empty...

Humanity
the killer of
a planet that
brought them life,
watch her bleed.

Humanity swims upstream,
Like a nurturing moment.

Ever wanting to be more, but
Finding the struggle hard.

Seeding the streams of life,
With those that sank below.

But we swim, and keep on
Up the stream to find our goal.

The waters become calmer as
We are now within our moment.

We were many but some welcomed
The quiet and peace that came.

We were humanity swimming,
always fighting going upstream.

But with all journeys some unexpected
Happenings come around the bend.

As we swam never seeing what was
Ahead, humanities enviable end.

We had submerged ourselves, but it
Was our time to now fall.

Screams were heard in the distance,
But we swam over the edge of life.

The waterfall of extinction had come,
And we fell, all to the silence below.

Humankind it says it all in those few
Letters, we are human.

One individual but stronger together.
We are kind but never seem to care,
Our strength is together not apart.

Humankind is a birth right and our
Legacy let us show all people what
We are as one the same humankind.

Banal breathes,
why must I pressure myself
to do cornfed motions,
                           that serve as life...

I held you in,
tried to suffocate your existence.
But self preservation
          is an inhalation of regrets.

We rob the planet, feeding it our exhaust,
                    a carbon footprint
better off with out..

Sometimes the day to day
                                  bland reasoning,
  out ways the necessity of us.

A humind day,
tears of heat
drip  from my
eye brows, clothes
soak up the
water, as if
a rain cloud
had opened above
and singled me out.

We're all food
For thought
Our minds
Hunger the words.

I hunger for the perfect word
to finish my line, to consume
many words to make the
sentence I desire.
  
I wish to eat through the
letters one by one, to rearrange
them till they fulfill my need, a
sentence must be made the
perfect one.
  
I must quench this hunger,
for I must be fulfilled. This
poem with words, the lines
perfectly posed to make it
a uniquely written poem.

Life bleeding from my view unheard is my pleading
Teeth seeding my skin in clotted drips where they feeding
I hive of onyx death, I face and uncertain last breath
A tattered drape hangs precariously my only escape.

I was the prey, not bled dry awaiting I was on display
Craving decayed my death moment now delayed
My sight began to fade, death was what I  portrayed
But as flesh torn and I wept rouge tears afresh.

Let me pass, let my life not torn, last thoughts of my wife
Her brunette hair her skin so soft I will never forget
I screamed in laughter,each weakened not what it seemed
Dead blood in my veins, only limited a moment remains.

Their folly of hunger as each faded, greed was now traded.
I reached out droplets rained, my movements strained.
Light eroded twilight as flesh tainted now slowly corroded
I myself now untainted I fell those now just an empty shell

Light shone through as a window opened to my delight
All was awash, charred ash fell like snow, I was still on guard
Scars were my honour all were expelled, now her necklace held.
She had feed on me, hunger had poisoned her soul now freed.

I am the bear
that walks tall
I am the proud,
the hunter for the
young I care for
my small.

I am the fish that
glides through the
ocean it is my playground
under the stars, I
am the prey and
predator at the same time.

I am man the hunter, I
have  those above
me in my sights. I hunt for
pleasure not for the need
I think I am on top of the
food chain, but my day will
come as the hunter will one
day be the hunted and my
time on top will be gone...

Life is a suicide
                    Note.


For when you die,


                Everyone reads

your last words..


My last vocals read by anothet would
            invite

       All those I hate.
Just to tell those greedy **** losers



          "*******, your broke,

#money grabbing mother *******...

Then those I love those I respect would be watching it live,
       Giggling thinking dark sense of
                        Humoured ******....

I love you all, but those hyena *******

      Can choke on my ashes...

Collect on the husks of my thoughts,
                    like maggots feeding  on the
memories buried deep.

Then reword what you had consumed,
defamation of dead reflections
                          now wrote in decayed ink.. 

Your feeding on me,
and I'll never know as my words are cobwebs
                                                     of dead thought.

I am

love

I am

hate

I am

sorrow

I am

happiness

I am  

greed

I am

charity

I am  

  fed to much

I am

starving

I am

humanity

I am

my self.

We ponder the issues of pigmentation on the
realms of our vision that have institutionalized
our wording in this closer but further apart world
of one, two, three too many to mention on the diversity
of our species. We ponder that alluding question,
do you not like me for the pigmentation of my skin.

But then I think beneath the pigmentations of the white man,
"white man, do we look white? no where like an
un-cooked sausage is that racists when I say it myself?
but you utter the wording of not what we are humanity,
but the epidermis layer that defines each of us.

But we view with a narrow band, we are not
born blind we see each as neutral not defined by what
we are seen. But words contaminate are thoughts to what
we know as adults we see. But reflections are more than what is
seen, look upon ourselves for when we pass upon to others.

But the reality of our existence is questioned when life is
voided and our skin is but dust. Inside we are the same for
what is a skeleton the core of our being "White, Not other
than what our pigments designate our skin to be. We are all
the same inside there is nothing that can dismiss that, all are
as one humanity bleached of all outer dictations singular
as one we are all the same inside.

My heart is a vessel on waves of feelings,
that are turbulent beyond comprehension.

Swells encompass my being, sometimes I think
to release the lifeboat of emptiness.

But when all seems lost and unforgivable,
A gentle surge lifts upon my emotions.

I am a vessel on a ocean of conative affection
sailing upon the rough as well as the love.

Consumed within
                                I smoulder in
fortitude but on edges of my
                 contempt I am a furnace of depleted tears
that incinerate my being to ashes...

I'm drowning yet I stand in no water,
civilization is the curse of my existence
it weights upon every aspect of me.
Do this, don't do that, I am man I am free.

But they do not listen for greed is upon fake
prophets that only think of what they can
accumulate before the reaper kisses there soul
and all that is left is regrets and nothing more.

"Spin the wheel your fate is there's to play,

Be one with the world, live life, don't do as
your told freedom is your chosen choice.
We are now like hen pecking in out squalid
corner, when really we shouldn't be drowning

In my mind I feel, breath, think.

But I may touch upon things but
Never feeling them there.

I breath but I exhale nothing
But pure emptiness.

I think enough has been said.

Ventriloquist thoughts permeate from
Myself, actions not of my own.
I am but a puppet on strings of red,
  .
My mouth is sewn shut in silence, yet
Speech infringes upon the molecules
Of air, I am spoken with no sound.

I am awake, lethargic are my moments,
Cognitive relapses as I feel I am neither
Myself in this fractured place my mind.

Listen to what I read as these are not the words
Of me they are the words of those above my
Thoughts echoing inside. Those of no substance
Just faint images of voices dead in my head.

They want to feel as I do to touch upon the
Surroundings but they aren't caporal. No the
Opposite they wish to linger in the background.
Venomous  perception they spit inwards to me.

"Little boy, little man, listen we speak,
"Do our shadow dance as we speak,
"Puppet on stings, as we whisper and you speak,

You look at me but my eyes see many things,
It is not only one that looks, but many scream.
Behind this onyx pupils hear their shrieks,  I
Look upon you as many not singular as you think.

"Whistle in the wind,
"Silence is our voice inside me,
"We will voice ourselves in seclusions need,  

Pretty little things the fireflies that light up my mind,
They spin webs of delusion's dance and sing. I will
Not listen to their lies as I dance upon the air, watch
Me dance upon the current, then I stop and quietness sings.

I am a whisper in a room of echoes.

My chamber may be vacant but I still look
at the pictures on the wall.

Windows see everything but only light enters.

Would I touch upon the emotions that are
lost within a pond of ripples, that no
stone has been thrown upon, they are silent.

I'm still me but I am lost in a prison of my seclusion.

I asked a thief
           to steal my heart,
            but was rejected.

For the thief said
      it had been already stolen.

Misconstruing what I meant,
   I wanted it stolen back..
But the thief said, what was given
                             cant be taken back.

Looking into my eyes,
        pulling something from beneath.
Giving me theirs, on this night you
                                have stolen mine.

That which I wanted stolen,
                          given freely back.
The thief no longer a heart taker,
    now proving there the love of my life.

I whispered to the void of flame
that danced upon unspoken words.
Why do you cremate upon the air
devouring it in gluttonous need.

As it spoke in odours of cremated
wax like tears falling but never
descending to the depths of needing
only frozen awaiting more to follow.

I wanted answers to this flickering
candle of life that shone before me,
but it wasn't finite, time weaved its
being to descend in tears never caught.

But I asked once again to why it consumed
yet it was a giver of light, and in those
fragile moments it flickered and where it
burnt  now neither warmth or light gave out.

Only wisps of smoke danced in the after image
of what had been, but in those white clouds
that clung to the air words spoke to me.
Then all was silent as tears fell no more.

*"Life is but flickers of time if we burn bright
let it be for the right reasons before we go out,

So who ever birthed this version of
mans needing to blame another...
regrettably we seem to blame another...
but when it was stitched into the verse..
to many cooks cooking to many in verse..

But then he slipped in free will, will
he let us grow our own apples but
now he let us choke on our will
to eat what we sewed, then we said, but...

Shoved in the cold, but still our path
was pre-written, but his spelling missed its path.
Now who can sink and swim, I'm not a fish?
but now those pre-written, drowning food for fish.

I'm confused and insecure, that I'm but a string
that just pulled, now tie in this piece of string?
What I'm just tied in a story not of my own.
But then I unknotted myself my stories my own.

I found that a path isn't just one but a crossroads
of my design. How many paths are crossroads,
how many fall between dead ends I don't care,
my life is my own, no abandonment issues to care.

I'll eat every dam apple, I want to eat to be me,
sulk to my freedom of thought ill always be me.
I'll walk this collection of glances, and look up seeing
the universe clearly, it a life of chaos that I'm seeing.

Normality cursed me upon open eyes,
I enjoyed the lucid madness, as what
Was seen in the maddening times that
Was better to the normality of  boring now.

I used to chase the florescent thoughts
That floated around, giggling at the touch
As it tickled senses in my deepest doors.
She danced with me in imaginary dance.

I was like a bunny jumping, swaying around
Giggling to ones self for invisible feet would
I be standing upon, never realizing I was tripping
Over my own size tens, what a humours trip.

Madness is an inviting friend, alone, but so many
Voices around madness has its purpose, as I have
Thoughts not my own, I laugh, at incoherent  moments
Are they mine, there's, or yours never alone.

Could I bleed ink on the page my words
Would tell sorrows of my soul.

Tears hidden in plain sight hidden in white.

Take my blood take it upon yourself and
Write from the heart bleed it from your soul.

I'll never **** with her,
           she's more lethal..
   than a James bond villain…

Her legs have more power
  than a Fukushima releasing
             her poison between
     my hips.

I'm a rod and she's
the water containing my
          explosion...

but she evaporated,
             never watching...

Realising,

that what I release is like a virus.


           Contaminating the womb
of creative contagion...


You'll float in the abortion of my
         chock hold of words...


You'll never be born, still born words,
                     I'll burn you in a shallow grave.
And you'll realise that I'm never  to be ****** with.


My words were like a machete of gunfire cutting
            you up before you even knew pain.

I'm a nationwide hunt, and you'll be buried
                                                       in my words,
shallow rhymes, given a urinated burial...
  
                           I'm relieved your here and not in my view.

I can feel the earth beneath my feet,
knowing that I will be dust in the wind.

                  I can see the sky in the darkness where
whispers of galaxies breath wanting to
be heard. listen, listen, listen, see it...

The road of continuation till it stops,
        I can feel it on my skin, touch the wind..
But everything ends. I believe in the knowledge
of truth of what was proven in sight.

Can you touch the air, I cant taste it in my lungs.
I would silence the ignorance and say there is
    only one path in life and that is death...
its a river that ends...
No flowers just moment that began and ended..
                   A memory in others living on..

My words are asphyxiating
           I cant understand
the weight upon me.

I didn't deserve this,
                   you kneel on
          me like a ill treated dog..


Do I bark, no..
                 I plead for your humanity,
but you just stare with emotionless eyes..

Who cares if I cant breathe, me..
           my family, a daughter ill never see,
                       but you just ignore...
Its not fair that I'll never hold her again,
              close to my slowing breath...

Could anyone help me, they just sleep..
   until I cant breath...

       Who cares if I cant breathe...
the flickering of racism shown
                   to burn brighter than my last breath..


I matter, I lived, i died. but know that i couldn't  breathe...
                                      and it matters, Mum.....

All the moments that were versed like stitching
upon our existence halted when you were
silenced in verse from the form of my sight.

But love maybe fickle, but friendship is one
that guides us past the sadness of life's swaying
road trips. We may stop for a moment but life cares on.  

Even though I stand over you eclipsed in stillness I
throw a rose on you now vacant thoughts. I remember
you as a star, I cant see you but I know you shine brightly.

What is life without ice cream,
          for with every spoonful
troubles melt, tears dry up.

No matter your tastes,
                ice-cream is life's
answer to every problem.

And all you need is a spoon
                                  or a fork,
some are freaky like that.

I cleaved a fountain pen
into my throat and wrote
what my feeling truly felt.

As I bled profusely, my
thoughts haemorrhaged
and I was sweating then bleak.

My heart was limited in its
repercussions, as beats failed
upon my body and mind.

I shed my emotions in blood
and then I was still. As my
musing died so did my heart.

the voices scratch at the paint work
Of my soul, these voice howling
in my mind gazing at the stars of
Confusion above my head.

Can a thought swim in tongues
Of obscuring waves, sink or swim
With no buoyancy as voices pull
At my body and at my mind.

I walk on puzzlement, shards of
Thought bleed under foot. I read
My last moments of sanity as they
Evaporate and all now I have left.

I walked you to the door it arched
like your back every time  
                                        we touched.


But we never found our way to that
                                          exit of tonight.
No we never reached
that undesired destination.
                           Ending what had begun
even before the first steps
                                        through the door..

Instead we climbed upon each other breaths,
a stairway of seduction seemed to cling
          to our looks,
          as if I where the spider in your web.


I could have drove you home tonight.

But we rode a different road.
We never stopped at the red lights
              as we turned off our headlights off,
and guided each other in the darkness
                                                      to mornings light.

I couldn't find the pocket knife
in my pocket, I wanted to etch
                 us in eternity forever.
Our names growing in time but
that was never meant to happen.


I planted seeds that never grew,
one was for me the other for you.
Wanting us to blossom over time
        but all that flourished was
time that never really grew.

How could you never see the space
             that was between us separate.
Even though we were inseparable
          we were couldn't reach to
                                  touch the other.

I planted seeds that couldn't  grow,
one was for me the other for you.
Wanting us to blossom over time
        but all that flourished was
time that stood between what grew.

But when I look at you
      and your gaze back at me.
I know that it doesn't take
                         words etched
or for a flower to blossom
to show the connection between us is real.
I couldn't find my pocket knife,
so I kissed you and love grew from that
to what we are and this is us me and you.

Why wouldn't the moments stay
with us, it passed like we weren't
even in the same time zone.
when I wanted you the phone was
                                                     silent.

"This is the answer phone of my life leave a message,

But you never got back to me?
               Are we still that message on a tree,
               one never etched but meant to be.

If I ever cut you,
  
           all that would seep,

was your tears of forgiveness.

I am not cognitive of the realism
of where my feet tread upon this
illumination of understanding.

Am I standing on solid matter below
my lingering movements or is this a
focal point of a mind perplexingly confused.

I jump, listen to that which is speaks
in unheard volume, can you hear
it scream with each mentioned movement

Step inside my reasoning,  and listen
to the fractured fusion of a cradled
maddening tip toeing inside.

*"I cut the ground and wait for it to bleed in pain,

Icy he was the favourite play thing
of winter, abused by so many touched
in inappropriate ways. Said to be pure
but always ****** on in so many ways.

Parents dropped him from a height.
Screams echoed from the heavens till
he was broken in to fearful pieces below,
his aguish was individual tears descending .

But he found no peace in the solitude
of lingering white, as throw in jest upon
all manners of objects till he either was
silent or just broke regrettably apart.

Icy had feeling but all that was left
after he was used, All a puddle of
misused emotions that were more suited
for a drain and he evaporated silently away.

My view of the world
           through rose tinted glasses.

I hope that we can pick up roses
      hand them to each other
rather than point weapons upon
                       brothers & sisters.
But a rose is a sour beauty
for even thorns can bleed
              deeper than a dull sword.

We must speak to each other find
             solace in others humanity.
For words can heal rifts that started
                 long before we were born.
But syllables latching on to the misgivings
                      of insecurities can wound.
Like papercuts on the mind,
        speaking to the shallow cradles swinging
        in a hateful wind of whispers flawed.

I wear glasses that I take of every now
          and then, I have a idealistically flawed
view seeing the potential of us.
But knowing we can fall harder
                                      than when can get up.