You are the only friend to me
But I always seem to hurt you
The wrong thing is simply stated
Just never seem to learn
Can't act properly
If I push you away
I can let go

Hate to see pain in your eyes
But I subconsciously pretend not to see
Because I'm afraid of the truth
I'm a coward behind this mask

Deep within me
Is a dark desire
To turn to the black
And walk away

It feels like I don't belong
I want to let go
A foolish vision,
for the so-called future.

Will it keep in tack?
Or just utterly fall apart?
What will it take-
to keep this together?!

These fake hopes
Should never come to mind
They should have never evolved.

I knew all along,
it would not last
Yet, I idiotically held on
I want to feel something too

Sorry just won't cut it this time
But I will state it to you again
Because I mean it.

With all my withered being
You are my only friend
And I thank you,
but you can't save me

We made a special pact,

for friendship forever

Always stand with me

I asked

I swore myself

to never leave behind

to never forget

Bit by bit,

we  f  e   l   l

Distanced in mere steps

Gone with the wind,

vanished.

Despair bloomed within the

icy shock

No plans of coming back

You glanced away

This is where I draw the line

Shattered secrets cannot

Sympathize with my heart

Nor can a faded memoir

of what used to be...

A fake promise was

all it was in the end.

You and I were the closest of friends,

Not a drop of blood was needed between us

Bonded with time, each day was simple bliss

Acting out our ridiculous jokes,

laughing, giggles;

time paused in our eyes

Years flit by, reality half-heartedly drifts

Memories rejoice to themselves yet,

are misplaced and unconscious.

The blooming rose wilts and rots away,

as of who were once were.

Ignorant thoughts blinds the sight

Too late to regret.

What pretty pity, the past is over.

Childhood is a crazed faded dream-

I should have known better.

Your true colors are crystal clear,

who ever told you to go?

I was only a stepping stone to you, wasn't I?

My Missing Friend,

Why did you betray me?

The darkness, as well as the drying roses

The quiet and sad moaning,

of people and lost souls

Fresh graveyard dirt and the fading scent of lilies.

Salty tears, as they cascade down faces

The heart aches and throbs.

As I stood in shock.

The realization smacked me across the face.

They couldn't see who I was,

Only the plastic smile I pasted.

Forgotten, like a broken shadow.

Panicable misery
Affects boldly
In a massive dosage
N**ever to lose strength and simple to cycle

Hell reaches all
A** suffering of souls that is eternal
Tainted in heart
Evil lurks inside us all

The lies you chose to spew

Was proof of your green-eyed character

I don't believe you had malice in your being

Only a selfish desire for attention

You'd go so far as to manipulate-

to quench private desires

In turn, harming those who once loved you

Too bad you're blinded by the past,

to witness the damage

that still eats  away...

Here I think to myself

What has happened in this short amount of time apart?

Your clement smile lights up the room in my head

Drifting and floating away from one another,

What is there to chase?

Loyalty of the heart is slowly tucked away

False favorable mechanics of what it once was

Chances are truly fatal.

We all seem to disintegrate.

Hesitating laughs, and depressing fatigue comes over

What can I possibly accomplish if--

I can't comprehend all of this?!

All we appear to do is distrust one another.

I only feel our friendship sink even further away...

Can you imagine?

Puffy cotton clouds absorbing the gray-blue sky

A slight chill crawling down one's back

Wishing to possess a voice

Staring out at space--

waiting, desiring to act out

Scars of the past will linger

Some words will escape these lips

This time nothing is holding me back

Some of us will never be able to see

'Cause they look at the world with their eyes shut

Pretending not to know,

is the same as

lying to yourself.

Love is confusion
Traveling blindly in a pitch dark maze
Perhaps it causes personal craze
Sometimes it can form an elated cloud
Swell up one's chest and to stand proud

A green beast may lurk, waiting and mad
The tiny child within crying and sad
At times it tears emotionally and is hard
Almost like attempting to perfectly tape together a shredded card

Love is an unknown mystery
A convoluted chunk of human history
Even when time erodes, it can remain the same
Could that mean it is lame?
Love is a solution

Even the strongest of skin
Will weaken in time
Wasting this breathe--
Surviving alone.
Why is it so easy to destroy?
But so difficult to repair?
I seem to simply repeat the same idiotic mistake
Suppress the inner conflict
Hide the pain in me
So, I can pretend it doesn't phase me
Since I don't know what love is.

Never was doubtful of your condescending ways.
Pricked in suffering
Words of loathsome intentions
A naive foolish tool was I
You act as though nothing occurred
Your false innocence will be forgotten,
because I'm finished with you
I have no desire to-
Keep tainted memories alive
Slip through the cracks-
and don't ever come back

I only sense my own dead words
They are scattered across the floor
Trampled to ***** bits
By the folks who said they once cared
I've sewn and tossed the urge to speak
Why am I in this sea of despair?

Heart torn up-lungs filled with fire
How can one breathe, even gasp?
Love in mind trickles through fingers
Falling inward, support pulverized
Is there a point to it all?

Hate...Oh great-the end is near
Why must I have to die?
Goodbye to all
For love is to fall...
Happiness is battered
And hope is  left shattered

A thousand lies, don't deny it
A million screams taunting inside
The impulses of blood shed
The feeling of total dread
Fake smiles I give,
real tears you let live

Oh, the consuming of pain
The suffering leaves nothing to gain
Poison reacts; sins slash
Fading affection is grasping all tension

My heart beats and we are in defeat
I am faithless, yet oddly not defenseless.
Why should I crawl?
**** it, I don't wanna fall!

Please don't leave me here.
Is this freakin' prison?
Oh please-just listen.

A thousand lies, a million screams
I hope you can go it alone
Since there is no home
Forever broken, so they might die.
Why,
should we all lie?

I won't let this hope shatter
I won't let this life break
You just won't leave me breathe
The shadows of the night
They embrace the darkness you fight

You and I, won't stay long, but
by the end of this song,
your soul will be gone.

Please don't let this be our last goodbye

I don't want this all to be a lie
Memories are lost, what is the cost?
Is there more, left of this rattled core?

I won't let this be.
This is not me.

Where is your heart?
Or has it all fallen apart?
The world has lost its way
The light has long faded away

Lies have been forsaken-but nothing has been taken.
Everything vanished in the veins,
only your battered core still remains.

We all cried, but
the you we knew
has DIED.

I didn't ask for this.

Secrets don't always hold together

It wasn't okay in the end,

like you stated it would be

I knew deep down

There's nothing to miss

Couldn't bring myself to,

shatter the beautiful images,

you once held dear

I was deprived of logic

Shouldn't have to exist

So wash away my sky.

Yes, We've been through a LOT. (Underline a LOT)

Some of us have fought

Together, we still stand

United as a band

Living isn't for eternity

But, allow this journey

Room for friendship and free thought.

Time for those wounds to mend
Where is all that fear-hiding?
Let the time be, and for it to bend
Why must we be in a massive quarrel?
She started to flee;
We began to run
Why oh why must it be after me?
Fate himself released a gun

The path itself unfolded
To the dismay of our human hearts
The knots of life once again, reholded
What has erased those starts?

Unexpected happenings in the light
Now is best to face life,
and take our last flight.

I look through the window and saw nothing
What I used to see was the world as it was, free.
The bleeding of the heart, wanting..desiring.
Through the horrid abuse-screams and confusion echoed.
Left standing defenseless, shadows choked me 'till I was senseless.
Lied to self, preaching that I was strong, but it fact I was wrong.
My insecure reflection shows the pecking tension
Rage is no longer bound in a cage.
Vengeance-in a sea of despair, awoken
Forever broken
Delicate ceramic figurines shattered, blood is splattered.
Dimming of glee, waltz into the darkness
Here's your token into the window,
whom's frame remains cracked and unmendable

Sometimes fear stems from not understanding

Blame is but a gift in a hateful society

Lack of encouragement leads many astray

The river streams in one direction

But forces some to struggle against the current.

How does one break out of line-

if it is enforced with barbwire?

Embrace the injures life inflicts and

rush through stomping on brittle pavement.

Ignore the trembles in your chest cavity and brave a smile

Negativity surrounds you like an endless sea,

but divert your gaze to brighter portions of the sky.

Fear is another form of ignorance,

only if allowed to cloak judgment.

The person I once was, I could no longer recognize.
Doses of rising burns never seem to envelope within.
Stupidity took hold, oh what a sad pity.
I took authority of all the forgotten mistakes.
The memories stirring within tension.
Reacting, consuming of all fears.
Failure. Insanity in mind-I thought I left behind.
Confusion rapidly defeated me.
My soul is bleeding, binding me utterly faithless.
Why must I feel this pain?
I rather cry to the acid rain.
All shunned me, I was casted aside.
I forfeited myself, somehow I realized-
I was sacrificed.

Don’t dwell in the past
Or life will never seem to last
Live for today, die some other day
Life will not have meaning if you cannot move on

Follow the path of your heart
Don’t bother to leave that part
Only truth will uncover lies
So, better yet- don’t say goodbye

Try not to drown in the pain
Forgiving might wash it away in rain
Only time will whisper what occurs next

The past is over, and future’s growth remains in its grain.

The world I once knew is gone.
I was cowering behind a wall of lies.
Time seemed to envelope within
Illusions of silent love, shattered.
The torture of time crawling, breaks my being.

A thousand screams kept in
If I smiled just for now, no one would know.
A crippled blood bathed heart laid within me
Attempted again and again to seal the cracks,
but detestment seeped in.

Confusion and anger clouded my mind.
Time to vanish, surely it is my only choice?

As I turned to the darkness- I paused.
Will I regret…? Or will I fall apart, only to forget once more?
Flickers of thoughts flowed softly in mist,
As I sink in, taking my final breath…

My Choice is clear.
Love was void in my short existence.
Death welcomed me into its comforting arms.

No matter how hard you try
You fail once again,
Suffer and stand,
Gracing yourself with anger
To leave your final chapter on a cliff-hanger.

Smash, face first into the ground
Gulp down frail shouts
Suppress it, no one should hear your pitiful anguish.
It’s your problem, your agony alone.

Plague your emotional state so strongly that physical illness occurs
Death doesn’t have a quiet blanket to cloak you
Fate chuckles at your struggles and blindness.

Mute yourself, no reason to interact- they cannot see you
Why spill tears, for it eases nothing.
Life in false rage and sturdy your mourning heart.

Hide yourself from the foolish world surrounding you.

A wound reopens when you least expect it
Be it through running
Being clumsy
Or though repeating a simple mistake
Should my lack of intelligence
Be a punishable crime?
Was my trusting nature just not meant for existing?
I realize through your glazed stare
You lack remorse.
Being alone was a terrifying choice,
Perhaps I should have harden the shell.
The shell has far to many cracks that fail to mend properly.
Deformity should be eradicated

Have your lost the will to fight?
The trembling in your arms and legs
Itch for a confession
Beg for a change.
The shrieking in your noggin,
Rattles your every thought
Your stomach sinks, knowing
So, you attempt to bury your simple desires.
Hoping for a less convoluted existence.
Is this what makes us alive?

Waiting for an opportunity to start...
Is equal to drowning in a ocean of excuses
Grab the horns of fate!
Throw caution to the wind
Clutch to your feeble life-vest,
and paddle to shore
The sand will crunch under your feet,
but as the hidden shards of glass cut up your soles-
You need to patch yourself up,
and continue walking...

Encountering suffering in a multitude of events,
does not soften the blow,
for the future
Numbness in this case becomes,
a coping mechanism.
Without much realization,
the same barriers crumble
and faulty shells,
attempt to stand.
The cloudy filled bottle,
has more then a few cracks
Leaks sprung, unprepared-
because issues,
lacked in solutions.

Careless teeth shred the facade that safeguarded this being

Glaring at this human loudspeaker

It only knows how to HURT

It doesn't know of LOVE

But, it cannot become NUMB

For HATE only reflects back

Just Pretend to Smile.

Under a simple smile
Screeching thoughts occur
Here is the dark calling out
Behind this blinding mask
For the light is a rare sight
It was a trap.
Couldn’t see through.
I never was really running from fear

I wasn’t hiding from the darkness,
But rather cowering from the lashes
It dangerously crippled me
Tearing down who I was inside
I don’t have the will to say,
The things you need to hear
Because I know I will be wasting my breath anyway
A gaze of pity
Is something I no longer give.

When the sun goes down
All darkness seems to hold
Now the light is to fold

So give this life some sort of reason
So we can all stay and move on to the next…

The text within, remains unopen
The last path stays, unbroken
The voice left unheard

So give this life some sort of reason,
So we can all survive

And the darkness starts to learn
And the light is to return

So give my life, all the reason to live

And fall into the dream

The look of disappointment in your eyes,
Watch as the time goes on; bye.
The shedding of tears, feeling of fears
The misery of broken hope, begging to find a method to cope.

You may try to place the blame,
Walls crash, unhidden shame
The rain cries, as my heart slowly dies
Internally torn from the thinking in my mind
There isn’t a thing to find.

All that is left is one’s sorrow
What more could one even borrow?
Drown in blood, nothing for it to flood

Only seen as a simple tool.
Guess this would mean I am the lonely fool
Don’t come my way.
Don’t dare to stay.
The last part of hell, fell.
You never leave me be, in fact;
You only used me.

Live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow
The next sunset or sunrise, just might never come
Don’t even bother with all that sorrow
Just don’t let your tears burn

Spend your time on earth the best it can be!
Give your care to everyone, so it won’t fade
Try to smile, just for me.
The warmth of your heart will destroy the dark shade

Don’t let your family dissipate, far away
Your life is needed for all
You need them more and more each day
I won’t let you fall

So breathe your last breath, let me be.
So, in another life,
We can be FREE.