the ocean watches and it knows.
it knows of the mermaid who sings
of loneliness and strong tides,
she dreams of a sailor in constant travel.
her heart runs deeper than treacherous trenches,
her saltwater love for him overflowing.
she hears his song from deep beneath
and sings her heart out like he would listen.

the ocean watches and it knows.
it knows of the sailor who
has danced from coast to coast,
he braves the sea storms,
the continuous thunder,
because somewhere in the middle of the sea
he hears a lovely mermaid song
as if she were calling out to him.
so on sunny days, leaning by the starboard,
he hums a gentle tune in response.

the ocean watches and it knows.
it knows of the sailor who waits for his ocean darling,
it knows of the mermaid who longs for her land lover,
and beyond everything it knows that
the currents shall bring them together someday.

these good days never end with a spark like they start
what was once resounding laughter fades into hushed tones
favorite crass comments said as jests are forgotten
endless conversations diminish to hazy thoughts left unsaid
different hands that fit together forget one another's touch
and these days disappear like the moon does at dawn

these good days never end with a spark - they dwindle slowly
but at least there is time for one to wave goodbye to them

I walked through avenues
Finding a quiet place
As the weather disappointed
Rain gets me down sometimes.

And somewhere, you sat all alone
Coffee and ash trays and months old issues
Of the New York Times.
New York City, the mess you were hopelessly in love with.

I dropped loose change
You helped me pick up every coin
And I was taken by surprise.
I was wise,
Wise enough to know not to speak to strangers
But I couldn’t help and dive
Into the thrill of your danger.

All it took was a single glance
You reeled me in, and then there I was
Seated in front of you, my coffee becoming cold
As I listened to your strange, revolutionary thoughts

And I was young, devil-may-care
You were charming, disillusioned.
But the pieces of the puzzle of you and me
Slowly turned out to fit together
Once the hours passed and we watched the sun set for the first time.

Then this went on for days, an unspoken agreement
Like a connivance between secret lovers.
Each day we sat in that same, dim corner
You showed me your little journal, photos
Of the foreign lands you once wandered,
Even taught me I could dream big things for myself.

And again and again, we watched the clouds move and the stars swirl
Through foggy glass windows.
We never left that dying coffee shop
Because you and I lit it up
With the way we were so curious, so eager
To listen to each other.

Leaves turned golden, snowstorms came, and flowers bloomed
Yet there we spoke, on and on
Until we unmasked each other,
Painfully honest. Truthfully beautiful.

Darling, does anyone ever tell you how lovely you are?

Then one day, I came in a summer dress
The cafe seemed darker than ever
And I was left with the ghost of you
Hunched over your cup of coffee,
Waiting for me so you could tell your stories.

A teller of tales gone astray. A lonely spectator.

And now, you are but a story too.
The most beautiful kind.
Would you send me a post card sometime?

You were the sun, I was a flower
I looked up to you to learn, you set me free to bud
You kept me warm through windy spring nights
You taught me to grow through golden leaves falling
After storms, you crept from behind the clouds to help me dry
When snow fell, I was buried beneath the ice and you brought me back again
But once the summer came, you blazed so bright I couldn’t see

The sweltering sun, my sweet sun
I took your light, your love, and I blossomed
Then I grew, only to realize you would always be far up there
I took too much and waited, wilted and grey in the end.

somewhere in hollywood along route 66
stood a cheap motel—
an asylum
for rockstars and their groupies,
artists and and poets and strangelings alike.
the morning only saw its residents,
drunken and drowsy,
and its black-tiled pools as dark as the night;
yet the nights were its prime
when the artists would gather
in the name of music, dance, recklessness.
the syringes would pierce their skin
and the alcohol like ocean waves
washed out the most of them,
and events too unspeakable were the norm.
the motel never attained 5-star ratings,
but it become the playground
for fleeting moments, wild nights,
brewing grounds for creation.
these nights were so loud and colorful,
but only remembered in hazy visions
and muffled sounds.

and so all those nights end here, today:
at the south of The Strip
where some modern, ordinary hotel now stands
once used to be the mess
that the likes of Jim Morrison
and Tom Waits called home.
its guests would have burnt it down,
but they would've wasted their money,
and who has the time anyway?

ladies and gentlemen, the tropicana motel—
a stop over where
wild minds and wild hearts would meet
and eventually go their way,
the place where these legends
of music and madness
came to play.

You came into the picture ever so calmly
With enchanting words of meandering poetry
With your wandering eyes, you told stories of cities and skies
And the way you traveled quickly to avoid all goodbyes

In the midst of all the cars and city lights
And with six strings and the moon
You sang your way into my heart
And I think I may have fallen too soon

Your presence was warmth in a cold winter haze
You were a calm sunset in the blue
It made me want to hold your hand
It made me want to be there for you

But I have heard tales of your adventures
And how you come and go to places without a trace
You pack your bags and disappear
You end up as an illusion of saving grace

So the seasons will change, the tides will turn
We will forget what we're living for
But your song will forever ring in my ears
My wandering troubadour

we love in laughter and in tears
in song and in speech
in sighs and in swoons
endlessly and honestly
simply and strongly
with open arms and bright eyes
for as long as we can.
when we love,
things fall into place with each other.
when we love,
we see nothing in this world but one another.

i only ever feel the weight of my heart
when i look at his face,
when i hear his laughter,
when i listen to his song—
i know i'm in love
with wonderment and fascination,
but with those feelings,
shouldn't the heart feel light?
indeed it might,
but here's the catch:
i carry the weight
of knowing
i'll never get this love back.

i spent my childhood
with a conch shell in hand,
i'd be near the sea
even on land

for when i'd press
it to my ear
i'd hear the ocean
loud and clear

and that's when i realised:
i could have the world in my hands
if i believed enough
i could get to distant lands

i. I wish the world would stop screaming for a few minutes
I hear the cars rush by, people talking, buildings swaying
Please calm down, I can only take so much
Let me close my eyes and sleep.

I'll tuck you into bed
Keep the night light turned on, tell you fairytales to color dreams like when you were young
To make the world as calm as I can
As long as you don't let go.

ii. My mind is always at war, I don't know why
I fight with myself, suffocated by my own chaos
I never can tell if I'm wrong or right
I wish I could say it's Everybody
But it's probably just me.

Soldier on
But I'll be there to heal your wounds
Catch the grenades, take all the bullets
Anything to silence the thoughts
That keep you up at night.

iii. Somebody help me, I can't see?
Take my hand and show me the way
Every face I see is a blur
When they talk to me, it's static sound
I feel like nobody will ever come around.

I'll never let you go, that's a promise
I'll show you the road to freedom
There we can drive, speed away as far as you want to
And bring with us the people who care
You are never alone

iv. I feel the world again, it's heavier
Settling on my shoulders, I can't breathe
But I close my eyes, I hear the sea dancing
It tells me to let go, wind in my hair, let the waves carry me away
And I decide, maybe this time I'll come along
I feel weightless, the sun kissing my skin
Perhaps this is goodbye.

Wait for me, I'll lift the world for you
Ease the pain you've known
The sorrow you cannot explain
Don't fade away, don't give in
Remember the way the flowers bloom after storms
You'll be alright, even when everything says you won't
Please listen to me.

lol

i got a second hand film camera
a pentax k-1000
already it was slightly rusted
and stained in some parts
but i didn't mind
it made me think about its story
and the stories of the ones who've owned it before—
where has this camera gone?
what has it seen?
did the previous photographers behind it
love it as much as i do now?
whose very hands have twisted the lens,
fixed the camera's focus,
and pressed the shutter button?
who else has meticulously loaded and unloaded film into it,
time and time again?

and more importantly,
will i be able to capture wonders of life
through its lenses
in the same way others might have done before me?

neon lights and punctual trains
24/7 restaurants
right next to karaoke bars
bright colorful photobooths
filled with cute drunk girls
a million pedestrian lanes
where bikes cross over
music booming through sound systems
when you walk on the streets
convenience stores filled with the lonely
apartments rising high like pretty figurines
and the businessmen merge
with the young wild souls
as they all move and go
in a city that knows
of its past and present,
of the future ahead of others;
this is tokyo
in all its electric motion.

I found you in the rising sun
As your light poured into the hollow cracks of who I was

I found you in the warmth of the fireside
As you slowly took away the aching chill of the cold

I found you in the birds that flew through the clouds
As your freedom took me on your wings and showed me new sights

I found you in the waves that slid through the shore and pulled back
As you made all the sorrow flow away so quietly

I found you in the trains that sped by so quickly
As times of happiness rushed by whenever you were around

I found you in the stars that twinkled above me
As you showed me that in darkness, there is still light to be seen

I find you in the most beautiful of places
And I hope that somehow, you find me too

Dear Children,

You do not deserve to live in fear.

You do not deserve to lift your hands in surrender when you have done no wrong,
To hide in fright at the sight of the ones who claim authority,
To come home to your houses destroyed,
To have your playmates beaten before your very eyes,
To have mom and dad abused for beliefs they do not live by,
To have your neighbors shot for reasons you do not understand,
To struggle falling asleep when the sound of bombs and gunshots fill the airwaves,
To have military planes speed above you instead of kites,
To have your brothers and sisters hold you close as you tremble and sob,
To have danger and war as all you know.

But children, please remember that what you see and know isn't all there is to the world.

Somewhere out there, perhaps quite far for now, beautiful places await you
Where there is love in the arms that will welcome you,
Gentleness in the touch of strangers,
Parks to sit under blue skies and watch the clouds pass,
Homes where you will be safe and sound,
Quiet nights where you can sleep at ease, the stars watching over you,
And no more war and what you have known all your life.


For now, I only hope that the barren lands you walk on barefoot will begin to grow greener pastures,
I hope flowers grow amidst the rubble and destruction,
I hope the sounds of war will be softened with lullabies,
I hope you will soon be able to play street games and watch sun set,
I hope you will snuggle between your parents at night to sleep soundly,
I hope you will be able to fly kites and build dreams,
I hope you will never grow to become angry and miserable all your days,
I hope you will never feel at fault for things you have never done.

And I wish that you remain hopeful for the day you will be free to wander to better places, away from the turmoil you've come to know, the way you deserve to.

i suppose nature has not yet kissed
the moon rocks and space dust
on the surface of your home,
so if i flung some flowers to where you are,
would you notice this earth girl calling?
and would you, in return,
send me some space dust in a jar
so we could defy the laws of gravity
and let our love go beyond the stars?

I used to see the world in black and white,
A heart so tender, foolish fright,
My thoughts locked me in, I was afraid to dance,
Until you came, wild dreams and all.

You strut through sidewalks full of pretense and ambition,
Ink stained hands, wondrous eyes, smoke in the night,
I'll never forget your glimmering mind, devilish flare,
A prince who lost himself in city lights.

The pages of who you are were torn and faded,
I saw you pale in the dark, tears flowing from self-hatred,
Then the next second, arrogant and charming, you ran along,
Far from the way I tried to mend you.

I came too close to your flames,
You crept into my side at midnight then disappeared before dawn,
You drowned me with you then fought to bring us back to the surface
And tore me into pieces just as you did to yourself.

But through you, I've learned to see,
I'm illuminated with your visions, I sing your delirious songs,
Your colors poured into the scars on my skin,
But I've also learned how it feels to be alone at night.

I hate to admit I need you, I don't want you to leave anymore.
I circle back, dying to understand who you are,
You're alive in my eyes, the most beautiful but deadly of stars,
Yet the longer I gaze at you, I am blinded by the light.

i only feel alive in the subway.
it is the only place
(speeding, busy, noisy, beautiful in all its glory)
i feel some tinge of hope -
hopes that somehow
we could forget all that had happened
when we fell in love as most people do.
perhaps,
in some station, on any line,
you would happen to walk inside the train
and sit across me
and then we could fall in love again
the way strangers on trains do
fleeting, but at least painless.

scream into the void
run into the night
stop these voices
fix this broken heart
listen to this voice hoarse from screaming
heal these bruises
forgive these sins
wipe these tears
close these wounds
lift the weight
get me out of this mess
get me out of my head.

the world turns quickly;
you and i are on different highways,
you are meant to be on silver screens
and i am meant to live normally, never to be seen

i could keep falling for your eyes,
i could keep admiring your pretty soul,
but this is the truth,
hidden in between the lines of my longing:
*i can't love you forever
but i'm going to love you for a long time

in the city is a maze
where two lovers meet
in their dreams and daze
secrets hide beneath linen sheets

a kiss on the cheek
and two hands intertwined
two souls found solace
they never thought they'd find

and it's the kind of love
that's quiet and profound
they don't need much
but for one another to be around

maybe it's the weather
maybe it's because i'm turning a year older
but whatever it is, there is something
that gobbles me up from inside
and my bones get weaker and
my chest feels heavy and
i want to die

sunday to sunday i crawl to cling on to life
and i scrape my knees on the sidewalk
i think of tiny things that could possibly
change my tainted view of living,
i think about you.

needless to say, you were an anomaly to me
nights and nights i scrutinized the case of your being
you were the stuff of high school dreams, wishes made in lonely desperation
and suddenly here you were, so close i could see you

i had thought i cracked the code and you were no longer a mystery
you had become a book i read a million times over
but no matter how many words you wrote down just for me
i could never comprehend the meaning between the lines of who you were

for days and days i longed to listen to what went on in your mind
but it turns out you had always been the one listening to what went on in mine

Your gaze on someone else
while mine's always been yours
Numb my feelings, mute my heart
I don't want to feel for you anymore.

I wish the clocks would stop
As the world would turn in silence
A moment frozen in time

For as I watch the trains speed past me
And the people shuffling here and there
I fear that all of life's beauties may pass me by
Before I begin to notice


Like a deer in the headlights
Time has left me behind
And I can no longer follow

of all the lives i could have lived,
i am glad i happen
to be in the same lifetime as yours.

but again here comes the world,
with all its silly ironies—
its vastness that sets people apart
miles and miles;
our paths crossing
is quite out of the picture.

i know this.
you don't.
i think of you.
you don't.

but why do i keep waiting for you
as if i'd suddenly find you outside,
standing by my door
and waiting for me too?

I want to see the world
But I'm afraid of growing old.
I want to dance in the falling snow
But I'm afraid of the winter cold.
I want to set sail on flowing tides
But I'm afraid stormy seas will unfold.
I want to walk through busy, lively streets
But I'm afraid I'll get lost with no hand to hold.
I long to live, to feel the world in my bones
But I've yet to learn to be brave and bold.

you always say you were never good with words,
but it's your wide eyes
and strong hands, soft touch,
that speak to me in hushed tones

as for me, my heart goes wild
with mad love and adoration for you,
so much that when i try to speak
the words stumble and i am tongue tied

so it always ends with you
and me
and the quiet
and the way we both lack a way with words,
yet the comfortable silence we share
amplifies the light of love
bursting in our hearts

i miss the aching cold of autumn and spring.
the winds would blow at any time of day and
although my skin would crack
and my knees would shiver,
i remember the way i would see my own breath
right in front of me whenever i'd laugh,
i remember walking around, burning my tongue
with the heat of the delicious street food,
i remember tucking my hands in my oversized coat
as i sat in the train and sped by little houses–

the happiness i felt in those days kept my little heart warm.

It comes in waves
From the shore, your eyes look heavenward
The wind blows through the hollowness
The water comes in, creeping between your toes
As you don't know what is to come.

It comes in waves
At times, it is calm, cloudy skies and the breeze anew
Wisps of foam form the prettiest of shapes
The ocean is a calm mirror, reflecting the universe
It is silent, all is alright.

It comes in waves
The currents get stronger at times
The sunlight burns your skin so slightly
You move left and right, struggling to stand still
But it's enough to get by...

But the waters are unpredictable.

It comes in waves
Suddenly, huge tides arise
Colossal monsters of blue gliding towards you

You did not see them coming.

Your feet are buried beneath the dense sand
The day is darkness so sudden, no salvation in sight
You try to run, but instead you are fallen
Watching the tidal waves topple over you,
Consuming you,
Suffocating you,
Drowning you.

And there's no escaping.

why should i have to carry the weight of the world
when i break under the weight
of my own being?

We wandered with no direction,
No boundaries in the grass land of dreams and cloudy skies,
No end in sight.

Running from the city's chaos
Towards home in each other's youthful freedom,
We let the wind carry us while our arms were wide open,
Welcoming the horizon and all adventure beyond it.


The only worry in our spinning, restless thoughts
Was removing the grass that stuck to the sun kissed fabric of what we wore
Whenever we sat on the ground to watch the world go by,
Because all was well, it was alright
In that wonder of land
Our Wonderland.

And although these moments, in all of its glory,
Are left to photographs and hidden journals
The still feeling thrives, wild and alive,
As the stars shine.

it's a pleasure to see
the way you move
when your bones can't settle
because running through them
is the pulse of music, the dance of life
it's a pleasure to watch you
lose yourself in what you love
to see you know the words to every song
and be so nonchalant
as if you don't hold all the magic in the world
it's a pleasure to see you be passionate
when the fire burns in your soul
and you are starry-eyed all of a sudden
as you speak about what you love,
and you climb every mountain
to do what you find comfort in
it's a pleasure to feel the way you love
your heart is open in every edge
and you would give it to anyone if you could

it's a pleasure to see you be
for you are a wonder in every sense

i'm certain my heart is beating,
i can feel it leap in my chest
but i don't know what exactly for.
ask me what gets it racing,
what makes my stomach turn and my chest heave,
and i will not be able to tell you
a single answer.
but i can tell you a strange fact:
i have learned to fall in love
a million times a day.
my heart has grown bigger by tenfold
to take in pieces of the world
and all of its people,
for it cannot bear to spend a single second idle.
my heart is here—held out and admittedly quite vulnerable—
for anyone and anything to take because
i thrive on living to love,
and this is what keeps my heart beating.

Kisses between conversations,
Red roses and dark chocolate,
Beautiful gowns and flashing lights,
Fierce, wild, reckless love,
This was their life.

Residing in the sleepless city,
Showered with money, fame, and splendour:
The golden boy and the magical girl.
They had it all, they did,
Youth and life to them was forever.

Yet on one silent morning
As the sun rose,
They staggered home, slightly drunk,
Coming from some grand party in Long Island.

They look outside to the sea of buildings.
She pointed out the newspaper vendor below,
He pointed out the lady sweeping the street,
They watched a little happy family stroll along the sidewalk.

Then together, they asked themselves silently:
*What now?

perhaps he sits down on his bed
eyes heavy from a long day's work

after the bustle of being
and the brightness of lights
and the noise of people
i suppose it gets lonely

maybe he wants someone to listen
maybe he looks to the sky
wishing that somebody out there
would listen

but little does he know
that somewhere not too far away,
someone sits by the windowsill
wanting to offer an ear
willing to give time
and would do anything to be the one
he would run to

for him i write
but my hands are never able to catch up
with my thoughts
and my thoughts for him are messy,
they spread far out
so quickly and suddenly
when my heart is bursting—
such love is not meant to be kept to one's self
so my feelings run and run
i never know where they go
or where they're meant to be

but i hope they somehow find
their way to you.

i feel like i am being held by the throat
and my eyes drip with tears
and my chest feels heavy
and i don't know what to do
because all i want is to be where you are

i've heard stories like legends about you
they say you are wildfire;
danger, trouble, sweltering heat that hurts.
you set yourself ablaze in hearts that are bound to turn to ashes
and these ashes, you take and merely blow away into the wind.

yet in the dark of night,
i saw your light
and not knowing i needed it so much,
i followed your fires even if the stars told me to turn away
and when i was close enough, i did not see the horror i always heard of
but instead, i found you, in all your radiance, in your sunlit smiles

i am in love with your light, but i've been told to never play with fire

as i inch closer and closer to you
i feel your flames
blazing, dancing, scorching my skin, blinding me
but still, you light the way home

i wish my love was enough
to pay the sea so its waves
could take me to where you are
i wish my love was strong enough
to move mountains and planets
to make our universes align
i wish i could love you enough
to end the growing miles between us

yesterdays are a day away
until more yesterdays arrive
and the old yesterdays go farther
and they turn to yesteryears
as new days come
and the first of yesterdays are all too far away
because time is a silly little thing
and we look forward to better days

Stuck in a dream of sun and sea,
I knew those days would matter so much to me.
Your head on my lap, my heart in your hands,
as we buried our worries beneath the sand.

What a wonder it was,
that the world didn't seem to mind
Our undivided attention
And all our stolen time.

Yet it was only time that seemed to be
Our only downfall, our enemy.
For time has the strongest heart
Enough to tear the greatest lovers apart.

Today, I look for you still
in the pages I read, in sheets as soft as silk.
You seem to live in every part
Of anything that matters to my heart.

And as the end of our old days came near,
I didn't count the minutes, I never feared.
I didn't bother to listen to the clock tick,
but to even think of you leaving made me feel sick.

Now we are years apart,
I could never even dream to call you mine.
Maybe if I prayed hard enough,
we would have had more time.

under the bridge
i'll find the hazy cigarette dream you live:
you love like you've never been hurt before
do they return to you what you give?

you're so beautiful, so bright
i love being in your light
but look—
you are burning
and i hope you'll never fade
is there a way i can help?
do i put the fire out for you,
do you want me to?
map the way,
send me a smoke signal,
and i will follow.

i will be an asterism
in the constellation of your being
as long as if it means
you'll finally allow yourself
to glow
the way i see you

your heart is a room
with wide windows where the sunlight pours in
so perfectly it kisses your face,
the wind blows through the curtains
gently whispering of its constant love
through all the seasons,
it is warm and it is bright,
it is where one can run to in the night
when the stars make their way to shine
right on top of it
as you whisper your secrets;
its walls will listen, it understands, it will never judge.
your heart is a room
where one can snuggle in so perfectly
and wonder: "where has this place been all my life?"
it is a room that has welcomed
so many people—relentlessly and willingly,
it is in the way you love so limitlessly.

your heart is a room, a safe place
with walls built on love and grace,
and i am glad to have found it.

deep in the forests,
in dead-silent houses,
in deep blue seabeds,
in dusty shelves
and empty streets,
you shall be light
you will rebuild yourself
among silence
you will do all the things you want to
and be all the things you wish you could
you will be fire
blazing brighter than you
ever thought you would.