Tears made of blood falling down her cheeks. Help her.

A knight pretending he
Is imperfect,
Surrendering the bind
For softeness and
Passing his earthly
Emptiness to the
Sleepy sea.

A surreal muse for
This rejected girl;
Emotionally abandoned
And feeling discarded.
A knight armed
With charm
Was gifted to me.

Me plus you,
Minus compassion,
Multiplied by tension,
Divided by a figurative wall.

The equation
Doesn't add up,
Throwing off my
Equilibrium.

Without showing
The work on this,
How am I to
Find the solution?

"Black Man Murders White Cop!"
"White Man Shoots Up Black Church!"
"School Shooter Targets Christians!"
Media paints the canvas of
The world in black and white.

The canvas is torn and taped
Back together; the cracks filled
In and covered up, like they were
Never there. Ignorance is bliss, and
What isn't seen isn't there, right?

Unfortunately, the thirst for
Hatred erased all of the
Colors of the rainbow, and
Pitted the remaining, black and
White, against each other.

It's impossible to paint the entire
World in one color and expect
It to be beautiful, unique, diverse.
One cannot just take away the colors
That are vital to such a masterpiece.

Here we go again:
I get the choice between
fight or flight, but I
chose to remain frozen.

Icebergs congeal in
my bloodstream. I'm freezing on
the inside, erupting
molten lava from my pores.

Uncontrollable magma
falls from igneous eyelashes;
swallowing the inferno
like a glass of apple cider

that's traveled down the wrong pipe.
Coping with emotion
is something that my self
cannot handle.

Buried to my neck in blues,
Melancholy threatens to swallow
Me whole like a whale
Out in the deep, blue sea.

Apathy waits on the porch,
Holding a mask that looks
Like a reflection. I’m too
Afraid to answer the door.

I don't think you truly get it.
Your anger seeps from your body
Like poisonous fumes,
Polluting the air around us.
Nuclear fuse sparked by
Minor inconvenience,
With the carelessness of
Politicians when it comes to the
Lives at stake from your meltdown.
Anger; the heat that doesn't physically
Burn, but you can feel that fire
In the knots in your stomach.
Anger; the (sometimes) silent fighter.
Fists met with doors, walls, structures
All designed to crumble, just like you have.
Anger; you are quick to embrace her,
Like a lost lover, she'll bring chaos.
Maybe you miss the wilderness.
You could roam and growl as you so pleased,
But you have been caged for too long.
I don't think you truly get it,
How frightening you have become.

I heard your voice for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t sound right.
No, it didn’t feel right.

I spoke your name for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t taste right
Rolling off my tongue.

I heard you cry for the
First time in a while,
And it still tore my
Soul from my body.

I heard you laugh, and
****, it was still comforting.
It’s been a while, but
It made me laugh, too.

And ******* it, I’m
So sorry for what I did to you,
And the things I didn’t do;
The emotion I kept from you.

A dark emptiness hesitates;
Autumn sparks a flame into the sky.
The creeping winter brings me
Chills, and the ravens of the snow
Appear far too early.

Keep Father Cold away for just a little longer.
These brittle bones can’t handle bitter cold
Until these wounds are cauterized and
I feel the warmth in my blood again.
Give me time to hibernate.

I've cast a hundred
Smiles at strangers and
Loved ones and no
Smile back has ever meant
More to me than yours.

I've gazed into a dozen
Pairs of eyes, trying to
Spark my clairvoyance.
I'd yet to see the future
Until I dove into yours.

I've poured all my love
To only a few, and none
Have nourished my soul like you;
Like a fresh breath after April showers,
And I am in full bloom.

All the wild inside me
Didn’t know what to do
When this adventurous heart
Made a home out of you.

I saw myself a caged
Beast, newly set free
When the universe
Gifted you to me.

A true blessing;
I swear you’re divine.
You make everything
Feel like springtime.

Cool, collected,
Constantly blooming.
Your love, the nectar
I’m ever consuming.

I feel like a stranger
In my home,
In my body;
Invisible and wearing
A sheet over my head.

Unheard by all
Worldly ears,
I’m sure the universe
Turns a blind eye
To my prayers.

I like to relate
Myself to bamboo;
Hollow but strong-
Willed. Lanky and
Filled with watery wisdom.

But quiet,
Oh so quiet.
A deadly weapon
And a shield
Against unlistening ears.

"Come over tonight,
I'm craving your love.
I'm begging for your touch,
I'm hungry for your kiss.
Baby, wont you come over?"

You put on his favorite perfume:
The purple bottle of Vera ****,
the one with the cap shaped
like a crown. Tonight, you're
hoping to be his princess.

Once you arrive, you walk right in.
He doesn't greet you at the door,
but that's okay. He never has.
You come to his room, he doesn't say
a word, only strips you of your coat,

your Victoria's Secret lingerie, and
your dignity. You go through the
motions of what seems like making love.
But you know you're putting passion into
something that is incapable of giving it back.

Your kiss is full of want,
his has no feeling.
Every touch becomes more caring,
but from him, its only a game.
You know that he doesn't want anything more.

When he falls asleep, you're left to
lie in the sweat, shame, and disgust.
You thought it was different this time,
but its never different. You can't refuse
his sensual offers, the stealthy ways of

getting all that he wants from you.
It isn't your fault, but it is.
Your constant requirement of love
makes it impossible to refuse him.
"Baby, wont you come over?"

Tear into these sweet
Autumn memories;
Break the girl silent,
Desperate,
Bitter.
Bind fall tightly at the wrists,
Restraint or protection?

The shrouded but
Shining collapse,
Rhythmic and raging,
A heavenly surrender
From a sinful woman.
Desperate,
bitter,
Just in time for winter.

Sparking that fire in you
Is a rarity; taboo;
Once in a blue moon.

I miss the feeling of being higher
Above all else, the only desire,
More special than any prior.

But it’s clear I’m just a factor;
And on this stage, we’re just actors
Waiting for a red carpet disaster.

I miss writing about you,
Immortality for just us two;
But I want to be remembered, too.

I wish I could care less,
Be a little more fearless
To lose that of which I’m blessed.

He breaks my heart
And peels my eyes
Open to the world,
No, I’m not a broken girl.

He’s the reminder
That my mask can be removed;
I don’t have to hide,
In him, I confide.

Emotional chaos
Disguised as playing victim.
He called out my delusion,
It was no intrusion.

He softens my feelings
But hardens my spine;
He nurtures me to health
And teaches me of my wealth.

Yes he breaks my heart,
He tears it wide open
So that the rivers may flow again.
He makes me feel whole again.

I wish you liked to
Do things confined within these
Familiar walls.
My interaction meter
Is full, and I just want you

Somehow I already know
how it ends,
even before it begins.
Call it some type of
clairvoyance.

But you were unexpected;
you weren't part of the plan.

I chased you from the
comfort of the only path I knew,
and now all that I know
is how lost I'd be
without you.

She'll wake up at noon and
Dread getting out of bed.
At one, she'll get up and
Pretend that she's "just tired".
At two, her stomach is begging
For food, but she's too fat to eat.
She'll work out at three for her
Dream body, but it's only bones.
Her mother will come home from
Work at four and say she looks sick.
Dad comes home at five and
He'll say that she needs some meat on her.
The smell of a well cooked meal will
Flood her nostrils at six. Her stomach growls.
At seven, she'll give in and eat
With her family, but only a little.
Her little brother calls her fat
At eight 'o' clock; it'll make her cry.
When everyone heads to bed at nine,
She'll sneak to the bathroom to throw up.
At ten, she'll go back to bed
And cry because she isn't good enough.
She'll get a text message at eleven,
And she'll hope it's from the boy she loves.
When she's getting bullied at midnight,
She'll cut her wrists to feel better.
At one in the morning, she'll sob
Into her pillow until her heart tears
On into two a.m.
At three, she'll lie awake,
Unable to cry anymore.
She'll try to bandage her
Too damaged wrists at four;
And at five, she'll realize
That she doesn't care anymore.
At six a.m., she'll find a pen
And paper to write a letter.
She'll cry so hard that she'll
Have to start over at seven.
A knock at the door, a reminder
For school, will startle her at eight.
She will make up an excuse at
Nine for why she needs to go in late.
Her mother will leave for work
At ten, and she'll place her note conveniently.
Her mother with receive a call from
The school at eleven, she'll rush home angrily.
She'll burst into her daughters room at
Noon to find her motionless; a minute too late.

I stalked our horoscopes;
I deciphered the coffee grounds.
I even took the time piecing
the broken mirror back together
to read between the cracks,
in hopes I'd receive a sign.

The Universe told me to
stop searching the unknown
for answers I already know.
My coffee grounds suggested
that I needed to sleep, and
the shattered mirror crooned:
"Put yourself back together
before you try to mend another."

My most harmful flaw
Is the insecurity within
Myself.

I am not unhappy
With myself, but
I am not content.

I love a boy with
All that I am,
And I'm terrified.

Even though he tells me
Daily not to worry about him,
I worry every second.

Because I've been hurt
So much before, it's hard
To trust the now.

I'm jealous of every
Girl that he's ever
Looked at.

I envy every girl
That has ever laid their
Eyes on him.

I'm not perfect,
But he is,
And he deserves better.

I push people away
And cry when
I'm all alone.

The boy I love
Can read me like a book,
This is the first time this has happened.

I won't sing for him
Because my voice will
Falter in front of such perfection.

I can't say I'm happy
With who I am, but I'm
Happy with who I'm with.

I can't make his
Dreams come true,
But I'll try my best.

My heart has the delicacy of lace,
and is as intricate as the patterns of my brain.
His hands are rough and soft at the same time,
and his eyes are as unforgettable as the sunset at sea.

And my God, he could crush me.

When I'm with him, he's the only one I see;
the world is empty in the moments we spend together.
Late at night, I picture him on my side;
holding me, kissing me, loving me like I'm the only girl.

And my God, he could crush me.

To be without him could destroy me.
My porcelain heart could shatter like thin glass.
My mind could be set ablaze and simply
collapse as my body melts and my lungs turn to ash.

Yes, he could crush me.

But, I've decorated my love for him in bows and
ribbons, and handed it to him on a diamond platter,
in exchange for his beautiful heart. Cautiously, he
gave it to me, and I realized we felt the same.

My God, he could crush me.
But, I could crush him, too.
The thing is that the
thoughts have never crossed our minds.

Disconnected wires and
Missed communications
Linger between the sheets
Like secrets cried out to
The bare walls of a home.
Standards float high
Above our heads
Like the dragonfly.

My own reflection
Slithers out of my
Skin to stare me
In the face and fib,
The most intimate
Kind of betrayal;
She is a quiet,
Cozen serpent.

Broken mirror,
I know you don’t
Want me, you
Won’t touch me.
Jagged edges too sharp
For affection, too tender
For your logic. I get
It; apathetic.

Vulnerability and
Exposed emotion;
I hide in shame,
Naked under white light.
You are too good to
Feel such things.
I get it;
Halfhearted.

Detached from you,
From body and mind,
Limb from limb.
Bare bone dare show its
Face to you, while
I cover myself with
I want. Uncertainty
Occupies my blood.

Cradled in the dream catcher,
I am in epiphany.
Tangled, but floating freely;
In a place no one can see me.

Convinced I’m the witch doctor,
Sent to Earth with two healing hands:
One to nurture fellow man,
The other to tend kindly to the land.

Two fish and the archer
Stand beside the sun and the moon,
And I am between the two
Dancing with memory and deja vu.

The yin yang fish swim infinity
Around me and whisper in my ear
Soul secrets to hold dear,
Prediction for every day of the year.

The yarn floor caves in, I
Free fall through the black hole,
Feeling exhausted but full,
With promise of being made whole.

We laugh and stumble
Through crowded streets,
Your eyes on the lights
And mine on you.

A soft, sweet kiss
From ***-stained lips;
The pulse of the city
Flowing through neon veins.

Intoxicated by the music,
                   My love,
                     Maybe even
                       The double *** and coke.

Cracking jokes in an
Eggshell shower; spilling
Our future on to the floor
For the universe to take note.

Insignificance comes in waves,
and then departure is imminent.
Not gravity, but pressure, keeps
us on these tracks; tension pulling
and pushing with the force of a magnet.

Hope is the host and we are the
leeches, latching on and bleeding dry.
Emotional rollercoaster;
Riding blind and oblivious to
the hill looming ahead. We always
loathed the risk, but we enjoyed the thrill.

This imbalance, it comes in waves;
when weakness is most accessible.
Free fall from the top of the world with
no forewarning, no safety device.
Just breathless lungs from a fearful swan dive.

In a way, you are the host and
I, your parasitic lover. Your
affection is my safe haven;
your love like a salve for the wounded.
Today, I feel myself drowning, but
don't fret, this submersion comes in waves.

I think I've soaked in far too
Many emotions today.
The sponge bleeds into
My own conscience and
I am ****** too deep.

I'm overwhelmed.
Someone else's tears
Well up behind eyelids
That should belong to me,
Or maybe they don't.

Someone else's fear
Leaves icy trails on
The skin that clothes
My ivory bones,
Or our bones.

Someone else's madness
Crept into my veins
And set them ablaze with a
Fury so bright it blindsided
The guardian of my mind.

Red, green, melancholy
Blues, they fill my head
Like a clouded rainbow.
Blue bleeds the deepest and
I need some type of shine.

I've had
         Just a
                 Little
                       Too
                             Much today.

Dizzy rainbow after
the aural
Downpour; drained to the
Ditches.

My eyes transmute to dark, forest tones.

(Isn't the forest supposed to be beautiful?)

She's beautiful; nothing at all like me.

I make acrimonious convictions about her, and

Sadly,  it provides me so much relief.

I shouldn't preoccupy myself with such maliciousness,

I am desirous of who you are.

Love me like your favorite novel,
The one with the crinkled corners and
Worn out spine; the one that reminds
You of yourself through the words of
An author.

Love me like your favorite song,
The one you took the time to learn
Each and every lyric and chord; the one
That spoke to your heart and gave
You hope.

Love me like your first memory,
The one that seems like it happened
Just yesterday; the one that you hold
On to the strongest and remember
The longest.

Love me like today's our last and
Tomorrow is non-exsistent. Love me
Like I'm all you have left. Love me
Like I've dreamed, like I've been told in
Fairy tales.

Desolate and barren,
The canyons call to me
Like the coyote calling the moon.
It feels so familiar,
Feels just like home.

Lugubrious and dwelling,
This weight cannot leave my
Chest until I relieve it;
And I can’t succeed,
Not this time.

Swallowed up into a sea,
I forfeit to a controlled fate.
Yes, I feel the downward spiral.
Yes, I sense the impending disaster.
No, I cannot bring myself to change it.

Here, I fall so short.
I never claimed to be an angel;
In fact, the Devil loves me.
I take his demons and allow
Them shelter within me.

Yes, I know the damage done.
Yes, I will never stop the spiral.
No, I cannot bring myself to change,
And that is where I continue
To
         f
              a
                     l
                          l
                                 short.

You sound like pen on
Paper, and to you, I sound
Like wind chimes tinkling
In the breeze on our journey.
You and I, we’re made for this