I see this space, unraveled eyes.  
The tight ropes that sing when plucked.
The wisdom embedded in the halls of failed yesterdays.
The smiles that preach endless laughter
to the unsuspecting mourning soul.
Falling sparks of ever winter moonlight
beckoning all who see

not for greater glory, ambition, or power. 
 Just the wisdom in old tears, the wealth of blood, the anchor of friendship, and the honor of holding the future accountable.

I miss the wind of them.
Those raspberry pancake
words.
The giggly syrup floods
in monster truck style.
The no's and the pouts,
the boxing bouts.
The random dinosaur
I love you,
from cookie filled smiles.

I found a book of poems
in a beautiful heart wood chest
And written across its sturdy lid
Was the word "hope", like sunday best

Upon this book of poems
Lay a velvatine writting pen
And vials of ink from distilled life
For writing letters to her friend

When I went to read her words
 I discovered the lock on it
The key she gave that opened her room
Was never the key that would fit

So I put her poems back
I was nothing more than a guest
And with the blood that ran from my eyes
Next to "hope", I wrote the word "less".

I found myself
Staring into an ancient rythym
The mustang narrowed its eyes within my ribs and pounded on.

Waves of machine thunder
Broke against my mind,
Washed away with my consciousness,
And played there
Like spent dandelions upon an autumn breeze.

In that maelstrom of indigos and ether, lightening split the void
And I just fell...
My layers and lies, suddenly too thin to keep,
Fell away exposing the wilds of my dreams. Refracting my every wonder unto the waters of time that spilled there in eternal complexity.

And then?  she simply blinked.

In the realm of the now
I find you all false
Posting and hosting lies
Don't bother to check
What the heck
Infinite alabis

The frightening fiction
Compounded and stacked
If even a few believe
So many, our youth
Mistook as the truth
And so thousands have been decieved

The internet is power
Through fact and fiction
So be careful what you say
History written
Stupidity smitten
Even the brightest minds are clay

I left you behind.
I had too,
the pain was crushing me.
I couldn't breath anymore.

I could see naught
but the spectrum of iron and ash.

It struck me so profoundly,
As if I had seen the impossible lines
In gods ancient hands.
A resonating slap across the soul.

I could not be you anymore.
But I left you her picture,
a beautiful, broken path
and I crawled away.

I cried everyday.
At first in every regard,
and then mostly inward.
I became as a black veil
as the cathedral I build to her
slowly melted away
in the acids of anger and pain.

Around the ruin
I dug a mote
and I filled it with sarcastic regret
and I set it ablaze with volcanic irony
the hate of how I was.

I built a Castle from my own remains,
a dread and lifeless thing.
Stone by stone,
Quarried from the shell
of what I thought love would be
Each splashed with a crimson
"never again" and set soundly
against all who would come calling.

I have lived here ever since.
Walls lined with exquisite paintings.
Markers of siege I withstood
each a beautiful face, lost but never forgotten.

Everyday I sit at a simple table
covered in the jigsaw mess of it,
a broken song I wish to sing
but I am missing so many pieces
and I left the box with you.

Every ****** night
before I go to bed
I look in the silver reflection
beset by patina and time
and I peer back at the familiar
seventeen year old boy there
who has yet to fall in love with her,
to be wrapped in the glory
of her soul
and I tell the dreams in his eyes
the very essence of him
the wayward pieces of me
I am sorry, I am so very sorry,

But I had to leave you behind.

Everything is shaped like
The world tree
But when she is around
I tend to notice
The flowery ends

Burn this fabric
the weave of the grandest way
we wrap our secret selves in
and write little patterns
that somehow pushes apart
from the comfort of speech
to break the truth
into lie-able bits
that everyone can approve of
because they are pretty
then you will be hollow
with the desire
to tug on the dangling strings
that always itch
the nose of conscience
to be rid of the ******
the mold you have been force in
and you will unravel when it hurts
and you will unravel when it is quiet
you will become bare
just shape
just like everything else
and when you find
peace in your own decimation
a single flower will grow
behind your lifes eye
a memory of when you took root
in the self
a lense to see your life
as you mean to live it

I am folded and dog eared.
banging off the walls
of your corroded arteries
one of countless fliers
so black and red
with a smirk
and a few choice words
faded by avalanche fire
just a paper boy
and his paper life
blowing about the entrails
of this card board
cutout cell.

The center seat stinks
can't move my knees, crushed and hot
such a landfill spot

Pain is measured in the battlefields
We have crossed
The walls we have climbed
And the ghosts
We leave behind

So is love.

I know you
burning me
like a black river
from the eyes of time.

Your foggy vision,
a monk with no feet.
I can feel you
but I cannot find.

So sit there then,
sit there and pray.
It's all you have left,
It's all you ever were.

Where do you
want me to be?
What can I give you
that you won't bleed all over?

Only the truth.
Only the past.

My secrets are mine.

Only the wind and the wheel
will ever show you
but you are too busy looking for tomorrow to feel today.
To much vision to see what's now.

I have not moved past you
rather, I have shed you.
Like beer from a bottle.
Making someone happy

at least for now.

Music again.
It always comes to music.
Always good, in its misty perfection.
It is the bridge to your yestermind.
The smiles in the way far back.
Even for the lost. the dying.
The electric guitar in my veins.
Stinging strings ripping my soul.
Not for damage but for greater growth!
The cancer everyone needs.
Like bubonic symphonic coos
from metal head doves
of golden fired mustering.
A parade down mirrored streets.
Gliding like fireflies
across all the paths that are you.
Dead on
right on
cried on
thoroughly you.
uncontrollably you.
Fathom the fullness of chasing something
that resides entirely in your soul?
An alchemy of pox - e, moxie,
and all things cobalt blue.
The moon light see of answers.
Only an ear away.

The soft fire
That hides
Behind a womans smile
And invites you with her eyes
To say silly stupid things.

The rythym of
Her high strung hips
Dances with the shadows
That blink about the night
As wind and song receed

The gentleness of voice
As she hums a tiny tune
To the little nothings
That live about
The forests of my soul

The crystal reflections
Glide across your eyes
Whispering secrets
And fairy lies To hide
the curse of lost forevers

Oh wash the weariness
From my bones
And let me tell you
How the fire loves the night
Let me show you

For He who's hands are Gods
Drifts wearily
amungst the drugs of men
Crouching the trash heaps
Blending life with death
He does not hope nor linger
To he, time is the wind,
And is of no consequence
Its length,
or your breath

So 16 bit, I beg of you
Every time I switch you on
Galvanize time 'till I am dust
Adventures perilous and long

I shall carry your body
Across misty mountian ways
Wrapped with
linen and holly

And lament the crooked paths
Of the leather footed thieves
With restless
dirks and brandy

The earth shelters your secret
Under water weathered stone
And i'm left
ever wanting

While grieving and broken breaths
Sing through outlawed ancient pipes
They focus
grief so grandly

One more lonely kiss goodbye
Upon painted wordless lips
A last wish
whispers wholy

But shouting and sullen eyes
Scream my naked barren name
While grinding
Dreams to nothing

The universes' grand practical joke.
A relentless blood blister between
the fingers of space and time.
A bag full of 1 sided die.
oh to BREAK the rules to this game!
To be explorers again,
to be human again.

Hey,
I dont really know you
But I've seen you everywhere
Always miraculously
Walking in the rain.

I know you feel
Like your the only one
With real problems
And that it somehow
Makes you feel special

I know your father died
I know you did too
And you've been haunting life
Like a little grey dream
Ever since

I know that you think
The least of yourself
And that maybe
You aren't worth the time
To understand

But you talk anyway
With your eyes
With your lost shoulders
With the subtle smirk
And a lazy three fingered wave

And so I listen
I know you need help
With the shattered bits
The lines on your wrists
But you won't ask

And I sure as hell
Won't leave you here.

A simple embrace.
Dragonflies across my skin.
Starlight flashes within my heart.

Within your eyes
falling petals carrying secrets,
fluttering like raven shadows,
dancing with a violet moon.

Written in vermilion whispers across my weary soul,
"I will carry you"
the rest is
silence.

Knowing
Intimately
Just how much
I can live without
And still feel
whole

We are connected You and I
like silver thread spanning memories.
Time wafts across those razor paths
In spiral waves of spiders planning.
With mundane approach we collide and stride
The ways of countless others.
Some we fix, and some go broke,
knocked about by alley cat whims.

Sometimes,
to open ones heart
we must first close our eyes.
Finally, we just might see
that our lives were never really about
the mirror, the pocket, the haircut, or the scales
but the starry breath that's given outwards
subtly illuminating the forgotten spaces
between the marks on the rule of life.
Counted simply in smiles, lost and lonely.
And who should stumble upon this
wisdom so battered and worn?
So old that the language it was first written in
has almost evaporated wholly,
bathed in the fires of what we have become.
Only the humble, the found,
the owl minded fool may tell.

the question clung to the temples
of the newly born revenant
who still played in concert with her heart
though the music that they made there
had gone quieter over the years.
and just now
In her fleeting embrace
he saw in her eyes not the past
but the future
like stepping out into the winter
after an evening by an oakwood fire
and his fear drank his blood
for he had already carved her name
into the stones of time
that line the path of his life
and when it was finally time to sit down
he didn't want to take off his shoes
alone.

Poetry or death
Its a tough job but someone
'S gotta do it

I am summoned
With others
All walks and sheens
Colors and creeds
All the same
But never met

We shiver
In Various stages of boredom
Half lidded eyes
Opened suddenly in disgusted salute
To the wet hacking of a dying old miser
Or that disembodied voice
A wraith
Whos pleasant words
Drip with the undeniable fear
Of wasting away
On this cheap throne I've been displaced to,
Or being brought to bare
In some jade kings court.
Made to don a jesters hat
But told to keep the bells silent
And our emotions, our humanity still
While being forced to feed on the horrors
Of civilization so that we may better
Judge the complexity of one life
In a time frame whos picture within
Is too small to be anything but abstract.

This drought of the living time
An infinity to my blood
My bones even twitch at it nervously
Begging for the freedom
Of the common fools
 as we twelve,
The demi gods,
must choose what to do with the remnants
of one desiples plate
of under decided decisions
In a life that most have never known
And even fewer wouldn't trade
a half buried pile of cat turds for.

I guess he didn't know
that we are free
as long as we Bow low enough
Not to be seen

And so we sit low
Staring at a message
A countdown
A simple marker to represent
The life we give in the hopes of
Being let back into what ever cells
We have built for ourselves

Hey buy me a Mac
And a soda pop fizzin
Suprise *** for your body
If you were in prison

Its easy, its cheap
Its a kardashian wife
It will fill you up a while
And shave years off your life

Whats even in it?
Not even god really knows
You gotta get sherlock holmes
To deduce what you chose

Hey kids have some more
They dont want you to finish
Mow it, chow it, and don't stop
till your shaped like grimace

Every combo
Has a number one through six
But they are all number twos
If you can catch my drift

What did you expect
They turned your smile to a frown
Just like the rest of the world
place is ran by a clown

Looks so inviting
Mac's appeal, is so discreet
But they're more about the land



And you are what you eat

Where may I roam,
that the bullet graze
across my hunched over heart
will cease to glow hot
fanned
By the lonely headwinds
of what new lovers
used to say.

a
Gilded
Box
Where numbers go
in
And love comes
Out

In my mind.
Feels like a long sunset kiss
on a peach tea porch
overlooked
by the breezy evening sea.
Love is Music

The moon is wept
Like an autumn dream
In sight of the sun
She shines and gleams
And opens the night
Along its seams
All above my lady


The stars are shy
When the clouds grow bold
With trillions of tears
The nights on hold
The knives in the wind
Are sharp and cold
And I am with my lady


The fires within
Will go out one day
And I hope I've found
True love to say
In the ear of death
"I'd rather stay"
And be home, beside my lady

I watched the moments of silver haired lifers.
In a garden of forgotten
and overgrown things.

I could not help but notice the rust of it,
the splinters of it
how thirsty it all was.
Like an old coat of paint
on an old field plow

He would bring her a queen's many flowers
in a wheelbarrow sarcastically too small
stopping and going like Morse code words
always looking three steps away
from 5 O'Clock lemonade
and a porch swing pipe.

But not that stubborn barrow.

It moved with him, supporting that beauty.
A brave thing, a tested thing, a balanced thing.

Through the days they slowly wore
a rut through that garden.
An arching scar left by an underfed tire
All for the smiles of passersby
and the twinkle in an old mothers eyes.

I felt the words on the wind just then
"I hope to find love like theirs one day"
I whispered back
"I hope to find love like that wheelbarrow"
...
one day.

The snows across your broken heart
are the ashes of mine
cremated in the fires of abondon

the cozy embers
behind your gaze
flicker in deaths breath
and Ignite me
with a longing facination
Your snow owl eyes
Hunt mine by the winter moon
Inviting me closer
and closer

I will not look away...

Can you remember the time
When the lonely winters wind
Went searching through our coats
For our skin
As the stars sang a silver song
A billion violins
Scattered across the depths
Of the indigo sky

One pair of gloves to share
Our naked hands trembling
Laced together and set
To fight against the cold
The only fire for miles
Was what burned
In the depths of us
Fueled by the dancing wisps
In our eyes
Bound by the ancient rythmn
Of the northern waves
Washing our souls
Back
Into the dreaming sea.

Sketch your love for me.
She produced her stencil box
fresh with only three.

Seeking the humblest
of answers
To the grandest of inquiries
on the outside

by looking
in the deepest reflections
of what makes us worthy
to be called human

on the inside

Dont spend so much time
Pillowing the truth
That you cant tell
What you lay your head upon
When you finally
Sleep at night.

Standing accused
Only seven winters to my name
Moused by my fathers presence.
The very fear of it
Pressing the notion of gallows
Into the wooden casing
of our Iowa doorworks.

Challenging the gateway,
The neighborhood
John wayne gacey
Barely hiding his knives
Behind bruise cloaked eyes.
His corner man?
The no **** taking mother?

There were words
Little parental valkyrie fighting
In the air, encircling my head
With clashing shield and spear.
And finally the question.

Why did you do it?

All stared at the tiny
Self proclaimed savior of worms, snakes, and birds.

You see,

Bill was attempting to make an end.
The end of yet another small life.
And so when seeing bill peddling
Toward the beginnings of a robin
Upon surely what was that robins ending.
Seven winters brave flew across
The grand expanse of 7th st
Slamming into the animal antichrist,
Scooping up that prey,
And retreating to the stanktity*
That was our garage.

While that poured from my mind,
Like a voiceless demigod
Left to statue in the garden
Of inexperience.

Only this escaped,
A horse and cracked,
Solid stab at the truth.
"Because my heart told me to"
Behind the then untamed fiery youth
In my fathers eyes, the fury...
Was the golden pride
Only found
Singular ever
In that one
place.