It's starting
It's killing
Again and again
It's hurting

Circling inside
Mixing alive
Can't settle
No one can meddle

It's numbing
Blood dripping
Open flesh
Guilted mess

Tears stopping
Head rising
Masking savior
I'm a survivor

i was also once told
about the tale of night and sea

the sea so blue and captivating
calm, peaceful, and very charming
the night was drawn to his unique beauty
stealing glimpses became her duty

day will come and then will end
then darkness of night will then blend
sky filled with stars, a full moon
the night emerges and starts at noon

holding on for hours and hours
sharing peaceful warmth and tides
sea met night time and it felt right
embracing each other with all their might

but time is cruel and they both knew
the day will come, it will do
night cries tears of dull dead stars
leaving the waving sea with scars

Here is what I know,

I have known you from the start
Flashing brown eyes built a spark
Lighting what I thought was dark
I knew those stares left a mark

Here is what I see,

I have seen our own words link
Sharing stories as we drink
These stories made me think
Did you see how fast we sync?

Here is what I feel,

*I have felt your hands so fine
As we walk along this line
When they unconsciously intertwined
I was struck and you were mine

I can feel the wind
I can see the leaves
I can hear the whispers*

The emotions it brings
The truths I am seeing
The lies I am hearing

No other can feel
Neither can it see nor hear
The focus is me
It is what I see

You were the book in the past which I swore to write a sequel with
A wedding, a house, a kid, a garden filled with roses and tulips
But then I realized I deserve a new page to write my own story
I close the book and re-read it once again

*

"Just one more," I said with my heart
The last part of me who don't want to let go
But I know I need to walk forward
With one final petal, with one final blow

You
I* wanted
I wanted that instant
When I closed my eyes and you whispered
You would always protect and guide me in a distant
But I
I didn't expect
I didn't expect this
I thought the promises were really true
I thought that one day you will ******* a kiss
That the rose and the little prince would be me and you
And I
I still remember
I remember how it was
When in my heart you're still on the list
That having you had been one of my top priorities
But I discovered then that believing in your words is just
Same as hoping for the reality of something that does not exist
III
III
III
III
IIIIII

Because
Even From The Start
You Were Just A Hoax

In the middle of the sea
Five petals on my thigh

In the middle of the sea
Four leaflets on its side

In the middle of the sea
Three roses floating by

In the middle of the sea
Two hands waving bye

In the middle of the sea
One girl cries and die

Been thinking ..
Would I really express this feeling?

Well...
We've already started
So better just let it go and be written..

Before this had happen
I didn't know the little hole will grow and I'll be weaken
I've known you as a sweet little admirer
A boy that I thought will make my life better

With you
I'd experience almost all the "first time"
It's great before because I  thought our feelings really rhyme

But the world seems like they see it in the other direction
People judging, thinking what we're doing was a wrong notion
I don't care at first of course
But..
When my father told me what I'm feeling is wrong
I've rethink and had second thoughts if this should be stopped
If our love will stay forever or it will eventually rot
But you'd confirmed we're not doing something wrong
Cause you confronted and told him your love for me is strong

And you know?
Because of that my heart leapt with joy
Your love felt like it really replaced the void
In my heart which would really explode
If you ever lived me alone in the cold

Days, months, years passed by..
We've been together for a very long time
A perfect relationship, they'll say
And I won't deny, I'd also have thought it in that way

But seems there is something wrong
I've noticed the changes
When I seek your help and start to cry
You'll just look at me with a sigh
A sigh that started the spaces you've built
To ruin the things we've created with it

It is not accidentally built though
The barrier?
I've heard that you really do need space
From my dramas and doesn't need to see me a few days

That is the time..
The time I knew it would all stop
The time I knew you're already tired
The time I discovered you've found the girl who is really right

I've loved you.
Yes I do
Until now I can't deny
The feelings I have between you and I

You know the secrets..
The things I've shared with you even before we met
I'm not afraid though you'll spread and tell it to others
Because I know..
Even if you've stopped caring..
You can still be my sweet little friend

Now that I've had released it
Thank you dear friend for being there
And I want to tell you I'm not mad
At you or her, I'm not holding any grudge

As life goes..
It is normal that people change
It is normal that the feelings will fade
What isn't good is if you've not done anything
To change the things you know that doesn't have a meaning

Fairytales builds the hope seen on children's eyes
Those stories control their minds, filling it with lies
If I learned one thing from my childhood
It is to stop believing, it doesn't cause any good

everything in life is changing
so how could we find
a stable answer
to a changing thing

there's so many layers of uncertainty
but what we can do
for sure
is live the best lives
we can
within our means
and be fearless
and loving
because we will be back
someday
after all the chaos and darkness
we will be back

She had clouds around her head

Building up with a threat

Storm was coming so she fled

With a parasol and her death

Man,

I started having him and you
To both I'm loyal and really true
We all did promise to always stay
And I didn't thought you would betray

But then you grinned and ran away
And then I'm stunned, you never say
You did not treasure him enough
That you hit him hard like you're really tough

Just never ever come back now
You *******-lying-cow
You'll never hold him then compel
Or else I'll drag you into the pits of hell

In my 16 years of existence
I've learned that everything isn't always that hard
I've learned that base on experience
Probably the hardest stage of everything
Is asking when, where, and how to start

¤
\••/
[]
||
~~~

*...i have a picture in my head
me on top of a hill
shining, glimmering city lights
i am standing still
on top of these wondrous sites
and it all seemed real...

Once upon a time, you were one of my dreams

The ideal man of my world, my own little prince

*

Solving the equations inside my core

For so long, I thought the answer was you

But then a pebble happened to strucked my door

That's how I know this is too good to be true

It's ironic how badly I want them to forgive me





But I can't even forgive myself

In order to have a good flight...
You first need to know falling
So if you're flying freely at the sky...
Failing won't cause fear, darling

Learn to feel pain even though it makes you sick
In life happiness is much easier to be used to
But once you learn how to appreciate the true value of pain
You will realize how much it can really help you

Which shape do you prefer?*

I choose to be a circle

It's true that I have different sides
So I guess you are now asking why
I always believe in limitation of different kinds
For me a circle being infinite is a lie

Just like how often life can lie
It will let you taste a bit of happiness
But it will slap you hard that you will fly
Because life is that good of an actress
It will break your heart then say goodbye

I saw the stone that you threw
The one with shattered frame
You cut the leaves into two
For me, it’s just the same

You poked my eye with a burning stick
And then you smiled again
You dropped my heart but never pick
That‘s when it’s not the same