i tried ignoring everything i had for you
and i had a million reasons to continue to
to keep ignoring what i've always knew
but you said one word and it all blew

When a stroke killed their own
A shadow from afar
Left a tiny gray spark
Kid hanging from his feet
Begging for mercy
Begging for life
Blood bursting out of his veins
While wings of murderer spread in delight
While his face, paralyzed with fear
And others crying in panic

His heart stopped beating
His lungs ran out of air
His body stopped fighting
And nobody tried to dare

inch by inch
i feel the fire around you
its not warmth but rage and hate

inch by inch
i felt ice burning my fingers
while i tried to hold and touch your soul

inch by inch
i moved further away from you
from cold and glares
from hateful stares

inch by inch you looked at her
inch by inch you left

2/4
Our worlds experienced tangency
Once, we met and then you're gone
And somehow, that was fine

3/4
Our worlds are asymptotic
You are so close and if i can just reach out
Maybe it would have cleared the doubt

4/4
Our worlds formed a circle
We are half-arcs filling each other

A raven was searching for her voice
She used to hunt and prey
It is what she was taught
She'll flap her wings so high
Scavenging every one
She wants to badly impress everybody
Nobody appreciates
She didn't stop

Then she met a falcon
Same intelligence, same speed
But falcon knows how to have fun
Raven can't understand
How can someone be victorious but also happy
He taught her how to
He shared with her a playful nature

They laugh for a long time
They became partners in crime
But in time when falcon needs to leave
Still raven doesn't have a voice
He then said to raven

"Stop searching
You already have a voice
The way you fly
The way you think
The way you live
It is what you only need
To be happy, to succeed"

He owned the dragon's eyes
So beautiful like the skies
The colors shifts so fast
So beautiful, calm, and vast
I stare right through
While he did too

The man standing in front of me
The one who seems to see

*oh please god
what a beautiful sight

Oh my little grass of hue
You know how I adored you
Although not until I tell
With your bearded smile I fell
Before no one knows, I stare
Deep within your eyes so fair
And I never looked away
But still you didn't want to stay

You know I could have been the flower
I could have been your faithful lover
Instead you chose the rounded bush
Then I come to realized and hush
I'll lie if I say I did not think
Since I've convince myself and then I sink
It can't ever happen now I know
I wish his love will fulfill you though

Oh my little grass of hue
You know how much I loved you

as you try to weave through your words
                                 without bothering to look behind
                                as i breath again the familiar scent
                                thinking 'please, if you don't mind'

if i could just picture a perfect story
                                                           ­        of us last night
                                                           ­                                      intertwined
if you will just let me
                                          for one last time
                                                                            just be blind    

                              but for this particular moment
                                        let me be delusional                                           
                                          let's make a deal

                                           because cliches
                                   fairytales and love stories
                                      **those weren't real

a
flake
goes
down
.
.
.

the sea is sadness
and you taught me how to swim
amidst the shore we found
ecstacy in a whim

I try
Never works
But i still try

I just can't be a somebody in your life
I just can't be a someone you barely know
I just can't be an option, that's not right
I just can't be a choice now, you should know

I should be the somebody you'll desire
I should be the someone that lights you up
I should be the certain who builds your fire
I should be the reason you will laugh

I'm begging you to tell the truth
Please just say it while I stare
Because darling my love is a fruit
It will be rotten if you won't care

I fell in*

Into your eyes
Into your heart
I fell in the skies
Then I fell down hard

I fell out

I stand in nowhere
I am right now
You saw me standing
Then I bow

i feel so weird and so pathetic
you made my breathing so erratic

"Are you mad at us?", he asked.
She look up at him and stare in his soulful eyes. She can see the concern and guilt behind.

"No I'm not", she whispered. "I am not mad at you or her. Actually, I am annoyed at myself because I did, once again, hold onto something that I don't have control over."

my strings are hanging lose
in a second it will snap
i want everyone to hear it
i need you to see

in just a little pull i can
cut the strings clinging to my head

the whispers, the cries, the laughter
all now seems hard to reach
and i was waiting for the right time
and you are waiting for another time
and i'm in panic of losing something
of what i thought would last forever

no, that's a lie
of course i am not that kind of person who believes in eternity
and you knew that
and maybe you did but secretly not told
so little by little
deciding to forget
and i was confused

should i also forget?

Your nonexistence makes me wonder
Would i ever feel something real?

sorry for not seeing this was coming
you were so caught up with all giggling
all the friendly punch and the hugging

ignored the lies and red flags
with all their caring personality in drags

what will you do?

it was hard to not be liked
by the person you call friend
and with the bunch of times you cried
no one sticking in the end

you were not enough

caught up with the social hierarchy
at least you were 'ok' to them sometimes
that you should feel lucky

sorry for not seeing this was coming
you were so caught up with all giggling
all the friendly punch and the hugging

i regret not sending the letter
and i am trying to send it to you now
but the fact that i just erased the whole poem i just wrote
i don't think i'm ready
and i am not expecting for you to wait
i am expecting myself to send it
one day
because i am not doing this for you
not anymore
you can go now

I'm right to choose, my heart is loud
Time will come and i will doubt
But i'll look back and see again
For once, i knew what i did right

...careful not to fall into the bottomless pit
monster lies in there beneath
chewing sinners with its gritting teeth...

i lost the key
to the treasure chest
of imaginary memories

You could not stay
So you slowly walked away

---

ripped my soul off piece by piece
and though i told you id rather feel that than nothing at all
it doesn't mean i don't hurt

--

i do
but please continue