I try
Never works
But i still try

faultless picture of a girl
behind a flower as she twirls
strands of hair fall on her cheeks
she sees me staring as time ticks

as the light from the sky gleams
her beauty of inside also beams
how come there is an odd connection
from faultless girl of perfection

a
flake
goes
down
.
.
.

I'm right to choose, my heart is loud
Time will come and i will doubt
But i'll look back and see again
For once, i knew what i did right

my strings are hanging lose
in a second it will snap
i want everyone to hear it
i need you to see

in just a little pull i can
cut the strings clinging to my head

Your nonexistence makes me wonder
Would i ever feel something real?

the whispers, the cries, the laughter
all now seems hard to reach
and i was waiting for the right time
and you are waiting for another time
and i'm in panic of losing something
of what i thought would last forever

no, that's a lie
of course i am not that kind of person who believes in eternity
and you knew that
and maybe you did but secretly not told
so little by little
deciding to forget
and i was confused

should i also forget?

I’m tangled within a sea of trees
and lost with no markings or guides,
I have once read about
history absorbing
the dense and porous lava,
once in this land
as it does me now
providing my sense of solitude

When a stroke killed their own
A shadow from afar
Left a tiny gray spark
Kid hanging from his feet
Begging for mercy
Begging for life
Blood bursting out of his veins
While wings of murderer spread in delight
While his face, paralyzed with fear
And others crying in panic

His heart stopped beating
His lungs ran out of air
His body stopped fighting
And nobody tried to dare

i lost the key
to the treasure chest
of imaginary memories

as you try to weave through your words
                                 without bothering to look behind
                                as i breath again the familiar scent
                                thinking 'please, if you don't mind'

if i could just picture a perfect story
                                                           ­        of us last night
                                                           ­                                      intertwined
if you will just let me
                                          for one last time
                                                                            just be blind    

                              but for this particular moment
                                        let me be delusional                                           
                                          let's make a deal

                                           because cliches
                                   fairytales and love stories
                                      **those weren't real

inch by inch
i feel the fire around you
its not warmth but rage and hate

inch by inch
i felt ice burning my fingers
while i tried to hold and touch your soul

inch by inch
i moved further away from you
from cold and glares
from hateful stares

inch by inch you looked at her
inch by inch you left

i regret not sending the letter
and i am trying to send it to you now
but the fact that i just erased the whole poem i just wrote
i don't think i'm ready
and i am not expecting for you to wait
i am expecting myself to send it
one day
because i am not doing this for you
not anymore
you can go now

You could not stay
So you slowly walked away

---

ripped my soul off piece by piece
and though i told you id rather feel that than nothing at all
it doesn't mean i don't hurt

--

i do
but please continue

2/4
Our worlds experienced tangency
Once, we met and then you're gone
And somehow, that was fine

3/4
Our worlds are asymptotic
You are so close and if i can just reach out
Maybe it would have cleared the doubt

4/4
Our worlds formed a circle
We are half-arcs filling each other

the sea is sadness
and you taught me how to swim
amidst the shore we found
ecstacy in a whim

...careful not to fall into the bottomless pit
monster lies in there beneath
chewing sinners with its gritting teeth...

sorry for not seeing this was coming
you were so caught up with all giggling
all the friendly punch and the hugging

ignored the lies and red flags
with all their caring personality in drags

what will you do?

it was hard to not be liked
by the person you call friend
and with the bunch of times you cried
no one sticking in the end

you were not enough

caught up with the social hierarchy
at least you were 'ok' to them sometimes
that you should feel lucky

sorry for not seeing this was coming
you were so caught up with all giggling
all the friendly punch and the hugging

suddenly i am falling fast
into this vast deep sea
splashing and i felt the waves crash through me
i didn't try
no, not at all
to swim or move
i knew you wouldn't be coming to save me

suddenly i slowly sink
into this vast deep sea
i didn't move, nor breath, nor think
about anything besides you
you weren't holding any part of me
yet i felt i was let go
but i wasn't
because you were not mine to begin with

Your captivating eyes of blue
Enthralled my iris with no hue
Eyes of life and perfect dew
While mine's are dead, blackened too

Never will yours see what's mine
Never ever, no right time

So in this farewell I will say
From your blue eyes I will stray
I'll try to keep my eyes from you
And please tell me you'll do too

He owned the dragon's eyes
So beautiful like the skies
The colors shifts so fast
So beautiful, calm, and vast
I stare right through
While he did too

The man standing in front of me
The one who seems to see

*oh please god
what a beautiful sight

We are the fallen stars
Rejected by the night sky
Accepted by the light

Earth became our home
Humans as we're called
Thinking we are special
Though just specks of dust
Falling through the core
Landing on the crust

We used to be out there
Made up galaxies and its parts
We used to bring out light
Now we're just broken little shards

as long as i can make you crispy cream pies
as long as i can read you stories to make you smile
as long as i can take you places in longer miles
as long as i can see the lining between the sea and the sky
i'll remind you over and over how important to live this life

as long as i am living

you will know comfort
in times of grief
you will know joy
in every growing leaf
you will know friendship
when it's time for you to see
you will know life
as you will know me

Say something
Something like you like me
Something like you care
Something like you see
Though you haven't stare

Say something
Something kind and sweet
Something like a smile
Some place we can meet
Though it can take a while

Say something
Something like you miss me
Something like you'll try
Something like we'll be
Though you said good bye

i feel so weird and so pathetic
you made my breathing so erratic

i tried ignoring everything i had for you
and i had a million reasons to continue to
to keep ignoring what i've always knew
but you said one word and it all blew

mirror, mirror on the wall
who's the fairest of them all?
perfect brown-eyed boy so tall
looking at her as i fall

she's so perfect from their eyes
as well as yours, so do mine's
so brave and wise, she's what you dream
and i can't deny, she's what she's seemed

beside the prince who dreamt so deep
lies a princess he'll always keep
as the happy couple had their sleep
the ugly duckling start to weep

mirror, mirror on the wall
tell me again not to fall

7:00

Aching body
I can’t stand
Empty tummy
My dreamland

7:30

Cold water seeps
Through my body
Fish is eighty
I ate three

240

12:30

On the table lays some bait
Taking two shrimps on my plate
That’s one-eighty I can’t hide
So I pushed my rice aside

400

3:30

Forty squats
And leg lifts too
Jumping jacks
I need to do

5:30

I eat early
So they can’t see
Fish is eighty
I ate three

240

8:30

Counting while I’m on my bed
Two Two-forty and four-hundred

10:00*

Resting body
I can’t stand
Empty tummy
My dreamland